Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

And to get back on topic...

I accidentally overdosed on Viagra yesterday.

Hardest day of my life.
 
And to get back on topic...

I accidentally overdosed on Viagra yesterday.

Hardest day of my life.

Did some kind soul with hands and orifices help you overcome the pain ? :)
 
I went to the doctor’s recently.

He told me, “Don’t eat anything fatty.”

To clarify, I asked, "You mean like bacon and burgers? "

The doctor replied, "No fatty. Don’t eat anything."
 
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.
 
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A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity.

So, I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.
 
@Sudsy you really are doing a sterling job.
A Sterling job?

You mean I'm doing it drunk, flippant, and horny?



(Because you're right on two out of three points, and I'm working on the third.)
 
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity.

So, I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

aaaaand again I did not get it

frustrating. Im a dad. I love jokes. I only get half of the dad jokes here. FML :(
 
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At least someone speaks french around here. Je ne parle pas francais.
YOu speak a lot more French than you know... and a lot more German too :)
 
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aaaaaahhh yes, now I get it, thanks (y)

We don't mind ever explaining English jokes to you. Many of us live in Japan...so we know what you going thru with these jokes.....is that supposed to be funny? Am I missing something? Ahh...it is not funny.
 
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The word you're looking for is Gaelic. :)
Back on topic:

Speaking of the Emerald Isle, what do you call a big Irish spider?

A Paddy long legs.