Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[KuroNeko95]

How do you know if your sister is on her period?

When your dad's cock tastes like blood.

 

[IchigoDave]

Did you know the first french fries were not made in France? They were made in Greece.

 

[Sudsy]

How do you know if your sister is on her period?

When your dad's cock tastes like blood.

You apparently don't quite get the concept of a "dad joke". There needs to be a horrible pun, not just a horrible concept.

Did you know the first french fries were not made in France? They were made in Greece.

I object!

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece.

Harumph.

And to get back on topic, I came across a new way of cleaning my weapons collections.

It really doesn't seem like it would work, but pine sap does a fantastic job!

People think I'm crazy, but I'm sticking to my guns.

 

[IchigoDave]

I ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

 

[Durg50]

Dad: I killed 15 soldiers in Iraq
Son: But I thought you were a mechanic?
Dad: yep, never said I was a good one.

 

[Frenchy]

I ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

Annnd... again I didn’t get it

 

[TAG Manager]

Annnd... again I didn’t get it

Here you go: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_or_the_egg

 

[Frenchy]

Here you go: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_or_the_egg

Yes I knew about the chicken and egg dilemma ... but can’t find why its a joke here.
Is it because whatever comes first from Amazon is how to solve it?

 

[TAG Manager]

Yes I knew about the chicken and egg dilemma ... but can’t find why its a joke here.
Is it because whatever comes first from Amazon is how to solve it?

Oh, Well the assumption is that Dave will let us know which Amazon decides to deliver first.
It is one of those terrible dad jokes afterall...

 

[Durg50]

Yes I knew about the chicken and egg dilemma ... but can’t find why its a joke here.
Is it because whatever comes first from Amazon is how to solve it?

Yes. Now laugh.

 

[Frenchy]

Yes. Now laugh.

(lots of emojis for my friend Dave )

 

[IchigoDave]

What does a vegan zombie eat?


Graaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnns!

 

[IchigoDave]

(lots of emojis for my friend Dave )

 

[Sudsy]

What does a vegan zombie eat?


Graaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnns!

Interesting thing, but did you know that zombies won't eat comedians?

Apparently they taste funny.

 

[shadowboxer]

Patient: “Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me.”
Doctor: „Next please!“

 

[Durg50]

Its ok to punch and kick a pregnant woman.

as long as its from the inside.

 

[IchigoDave]

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.

What is the ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter?
Eskimo Pi.

 

[Frenchy]

 

[MikeH]

View attachment 15166

I am not gonna admit that took me full 10 seconds.

 

[Durg50]

I am not gonna admit that took me full 10 seconds.

been at least 100 seconds and I'm not getting anywhere

 

[IchigoDave]

been at least 100 seconds and I'm not getting anywhere

Bruce Print Screen
Bruce Springsteen

 

[Frenchy]

been at least 100 seconds and I'm not getting anywhere

Aaah finally ! Im happy to not be the only one not getting Dad jokes. Look at the word and the key underneath

 

[Sudsy]

Bruce Print Screen
Bruce Springsteen

I got it... I just didn’t get what was supposed to be funny about it.

 

[AMcguyver]

When a clown farts, does it smell funny?

 

[Frenchy]

I got it... I just didn’t get what was supposed to be funny about it.

Yeah I got that feeling too , so I assumed it must be a perfect dads joke then