The Anything Goes Thread

MikeH said:
That doesn't sound like a middle aged serial killer guy at all!

But well done anyway, anyone who has the patience to write a book is a hero in my books. (bad pun totally intended; still honest opinion without sarcasm, for once).
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Well thanks, but it was just a pastime between two jobs . Would have been more heroic if I had the balls to try to find a real publisher :)
 
DJnLJ said:
That's what Google Translate is for.
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I am in fact amazed how much progress Translate did in just a few years. Yesterday at office I GTed a complex Japanese text and the result was about 80% OK, which was good enough for me. For 2 more similar languages like French and English it does even better of course.
 
warubuta said:
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” Groucho Marxs
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Well, if a man is inside of a dog you have already fucked up big time, regardless of the interpretation.
 
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MikeH said:
Well, if a man is inside of a dog you have already fucked up big time, regardless of the interpretation.
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No dog (I suppose) but 9 visitors from TAG for 17 views! Thanks guys! (Btw I dont make any ad revenue nor any revenue of any kind from this book, it’s just ego-propping)
 
Frenchy said:
No dog (I suppose) but 9 visitors from TAG for 17 views! Thanks guys! (Btw I dont make any ad revenue nor any revenue of any kind from this book, it’s just ego-propping)
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Why dont you find someone to translate it into a proper langauge so that people like me can read it?
 
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warubuta said:
Why dont you find someone to translate it into a proper langauge so that people like me can read it?
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I will think about it. Heard Miss Piggy has reasonable rates for translation work into ButaLanguage. :)
 
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warubuta said:
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” Groucho Marxs
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MikeH said:
Well, if a man is inside of a dog you have already fucked up big time, regardless of the interpretation.
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ShowaJidai said:
Thus the idiom - "screwed the pooch"
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All right,

Ready for another lesson in literary analysis. Past lessons have centered on irony and onomatopoeia.

Groucho Marx was a master of the double entendre.

Born Julius Marx in 1890, the brilliant comic actor who would later be known as Groucho was the most verbal of the famed comedy team, the Marx Brothers, his broad slapstick portrayals elevated by ingenious wordplay and double entendre.

https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300174458/groucho-marx

Still, I can't make much sense out of the one warabuta quoted, especially with the multitude of classic Groucho quips.

I remember spending enhanced hours watching his old TV programs on the tube.


 
Frenchies... they are everywhere.
Damn, I go to Gala Yuzawa (of all places) and the lady selling me ski lifts tickets is French.
I come back home this evening and the new receptionist they hired at the residence is... French.
I go to a pub and the barman is French.
Shit we were a country of immigration and it’s clearly the opposite now. Maybe the next tout I meet in Kabukicho will be french too?! :wacky:
 
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Frenchy said:
Maybe the next tout I meet in Kabukicho will be french too?! :wacky:
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As long as the next tout someone will meet in Kabukicho is not Frenchy we should be all right.
 
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MikeH said:
As long as the next tout someone will meet in Kabukicho is not Frenchy we should be all right.
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The Police should stop all those French guys and gals stealing the jobs of Indians and Nigerians! :D
 
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Fuck! I was enjoying a quiet dinner in a huge, almost empty, restaurant. Cheap but decent place with good seafood.
Family of six enters - Mom, Dad, Grandpa, two preteen daughters and a screaming toddler. He's bawling at the top of his lungs without any pause. There's a whole load of commotion as they enter. I can't make out what's happening. They look a bit like gypsies. There are gypsies in this part of the world...
There seems to be a lot of fuss as they enter. They have a prolonged discussion with the waiter. I ignore it. The waiter sets up six places for them at a large, round, family table. It's only three tables away from my quiet corner. I'd rather they were the other side of the restaurant but it's okay. I can live with it, and I'm already finishing my main course, so what the heck...
And then Mom decides that she doesn't like the table. She wants to sit at the bench seat by the window right next to me. Fuck-loads of commotion. Grandpa knocks me as he squeezes past me. Dad falls over my bag. He looks a little drunk, actually. Toddler boy is screaming like something is seriously wrong but they don't seem especially concerned. Un-frickin-believable how irritating the bawling kid is. Dad is now lifting him over his shoulder and bouncing him about in some kind of game that provokes only more tears. I wish I hadn't ordered dessert.
My dessert arrives and I see that the waiter has the coffee and brandy ready as I requested. Damn. I wanted to enjoy that brandy slowly but it looks like I'm going to just chug it and get out of here. Perhaps I should move table ... nah. I'll stay here.
Mom tells dad to change the kid's diaper. Off they go to the bathroom. Fuck loads of crying from the bathroom. It just doesn't stop. Dad seems to be the slowest diaper changer in history - but I guess he's drunk so it's probably quite difficult. The two daughters go to see what the hell is going on. Baby is still fucking bawling. Grandpa is getting up and swivelling around to take his coat off or something. Keeps knocking into my chair.
Dad and kids come back. Baby has calmed down. He stands on the bench next to Mom. Grandpa tells him to sit. He screams. Grandpa shouts at him to sit. He's fucking crying again. I'm this fucking close to decking grandpa. I don't care if he's 90 years old.
Mom barks at Dad. They have an odd accent. I'm not a racist but I can see how one could become a racist if one were to regularly encounter people like this ...
Dad takes the kid outside. As he leaves, he leans over me to apologise ... and his breath fucking stinks.
I was just enjoying a nice, relaxed, evening alone. Not bothering anyone. Minding my own business. At peace. Now my blood pressure is up and I'm in a foul mood. Fuck.
 
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chaztagster said:
Fuck! I was enjoying a quiet dinner in a huge, almost empty, restaurant. Cheap but decent place with good seafood.
Family of six enters - Mom, Dad, Grandpa, two preteen daughters and a screaming toddler. He's bawling at the top of his lungs without any pause. There's a whole load of commotion as they enter. I can't make out what's happening. They look a bit like gypsies. There are gypsies in this part of the world...
There seems to be a lot of fuss as they enter. They have a prolonged discussion with the waiter. I ignore it. The waiter sets up six places for them at a large, round, family table. It's only three tables away from my quiet corner. I'd rather they were the other side of the restaurant but it's okay. I can live with it, and I'm already finishing my main course, so what the heck...
And then Mom decides that she doesn't like the table. She wants to sit at the bench seat by the window right next to me. Fuck-loads of commotion. Grandpa knocks me as he squeezes past me. Dad falls over my bag. He looks a little drunk, actually. Toddler boy is screaming like something is seriously wrong but they don't seem especially concerned. Un-frickin-believable how irritating the bawling kid is. Dad is now lifting him over his shoulder and bouncing him about in some kind of game that provokes only more tears. I wish I hadn't ordered dessert.
My dessert arrives and I see that the waiter has the coffee and brandy ready as I requested. Damn. I wanted to enjoy that brandy slowly but it looks like I'm going to just chug it and get out of here. Perhaps I should move table ... nah. I'll stay here.
Mom tells dad to change the kid's diaper. Off they go to the bathroom. Fuck loads of crying from the bathroom. It just doesn't stop. Dad seems to be the slowest diaper changer in history - but I guess he's drunk so it's probably quite difficult. The two daughters go to see what the hell is going on. Baby is still fucking bawling. Grandpa is getting up and swivelling around to take his coat off or something. Keeps knocking into my chair.
Dad and kids come back. Baby has calmed down. He stands on the bench next to Mom. Grandpa tells him to sit. He screams. Grandpa shouts at him to sit. He's fucking crying again. I'm this fucking close to decking grandpa. I don't care if he's 90 years old.
Mom barks at Dad. They have an odd accent. I'm not a racist but I can see how one could become a racist if one were to regularly encounter people like this ...
Dad takes the kid outside. As he leaves, he leans over me to apologise ... and his breath fucking stinks.
I was just enjoying a nice, relaxed, evening alone. Not bothering anyone. Minding my own business. At peace. Now my blood pressure is up and I'm in a foul mood. Fuck.
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I feel for you man. If it happens next time (God forbids) , ask also for a table change, and stare at them long and hard when passing in front of them.
 
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chaztagster said:
Fuck! I was enjoying a quiet dinner in a huge, almost empty, restaurant. Cheap but decent place with good seafood.
Family of six enters - Mom, Dad, Grandpa, two preteen daughters and a screaming toddler. He's bawling at the top of his lungs without any pause.
Click to expand...

There's a special place in hell for people who take screaming children into restaurants.
 
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Oh, things get messy when a family goes into any restaurant. Last year I was at Osaka woth my mother (first time in Japan) and we went to an ikinari steak. We were having an ok meal when this big group of people come in (an south east asian family maybe?) They start making a ruckus about getting chairs to sit together. (It's an ikinaro steak. You eat standing up!) And almost took my chair but my mom repelled them somehow. They made noises all the time they were there and when we wanted to go to the bathroom they all got in to go. Worst part was that other than the noise, hassle and underhanded chair stealing attempts. The ladies covered the toilet in pee. At first I thought it was a guy so I wiped away and did my thing. But when I went back in to check if I had not left something I found the seat covered in new pee. Enough to say, I glared at the group on my way out.
 
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Anikaluv said:
Oh, things get messy when a family goes into any restaurant.

The ladies covered the toilet in pee.
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Well that's a whole new level of messy. Perhaps they were squatting on top of the western style WC seat. We laugh at the toilets with printed instructions but this is why they're needed.
 
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chaztagster said:
Fuck! I was enjoying a quiet dinner in a huge, almost empty, restaurant. Cheap but decent place with good seafood.
Family of six enters - Mom, Dad, Grandpa, two preteen daughters and a screaming toddler. He's bawling at the top of his lungs without any pause. There's a whole load of commotion as they enter. I can't make out what's happening. They look a bit like gypsies. There are gypsies in this part of the world...
There seems to be a lot of fuss as they enter. They have a prolonged discussion with the waiter. I ignore it. The waiter sets up six places for them at a large, round, family table. It's only three tables away from my quiet corner. I'd rather they were the other side of the restaurant but it's okay. I can live with it, and I'm already finishing my main course, so what the heck...
And then Mom decides that she doesn't like the table. She wants to sit at the bench seat by the window right next to me. Fuck-loads of commotion. Grandpa knocks me as he squeezes past me. Dad falls over my bag. He looks a little drunk, actually. Toddler boy is screaming like something is seriously wrong but they don't seem especially concerned. Un-frickin-believable how irritating the bawling kid is. Dad is now lifting him over his shoulder and bouncing him about in some kind of game that provokes only more tears. I wish I hadn't ordered dessert.
My dessert arrives and I see that the waiter has the coffee and brandy ready as I requested. Damn. I wanted to enjoy that brandy slowly but it looks like I'm going to just chug it and get out of here. Perhaps I should move table ... nah. I'll stay here.
Mom tells dad to change the kid's diaper. Off they go to the bathroom. Fuck loads of crying from the bathroom. It just doesn't stop. Dad seems to be the slowest diaper changer in history - but I guess he's drunk so it's probably quite difficult. The two daughters go to see what the hell is going on. Baby is still fucking bawling. Grandpa is getting up and swivelling around to take his coat off or something. Keeps knocking into my chair.
Dad and kids come back. Baby has calmed down. He stands on the bench next to Mom. Grandpa tells him to sit. He screams. Grandpa shouts at him to sit. He's fucking crying again. I'm this fucking close to decking grandpa. I don't care if he's 90 years old.
Mom barks at Dad. They have an odd accent. I'm not a racist but I can see how one could become a racist if one were to regularly encounter people like this ...
Dad takes the kid outside. As he leaves, he leans over me to apologise ... and his breath fucking stinks.
I was just enjoying a nice, relaxed, evening alone. Not bothering anyone. Minding my own business. At peace. Now my blood pressure is up and I'm in a foul mood. Fuck.
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You should have asked them to go sit on the other side of the restaurant. Or you should have told the waiter that you want to leave and you won’t be paying for your desert or brandy. Or you should have pulled out your flamethrower and instantly reduced them to little piles of ash.
 
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warubuta said:
You should have asked them to go sit on the other side of the restaurant. Or you should have told the waiter that you want to leave and you won’t be paying for your desert or brandy. Or you should have pulled out your flamethrower and instantly reduced them to little piles of ash.
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So that was you?

flame.png


https://japantoday.com/category/crime/20-year-old-man-faces-charges-over-using-flamethrower-in-park
 
Frenchy said:
I feel for you man. If it happens next time (God forbids) , ask also for a table change, and stare at them long and hard when passing in front of them.
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Is that the French Revenge? Much like raising the white flag before the fight and then later giving your occupiers the disapproving look?

480w_s.jpg
 
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