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The craziest happiest (or not) thing that happened to you in Japan

just4fun said:
That is pretty normal for the entertainment business......the law I mean.
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Is that also why you have stayed virgin all these years? o_O
 
MikeH said:
Is that also why you have stayed virgin all these years? o_O
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Only thing virgin about me is the Olive Oil I use.....but I'd bang her if I got the chance.
 
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tobo said:
When I get home and enter my living room, there she is, in a school inform (her real hs one) and sitting either side of her, also in uniform, are her two cousins of the same age.

We'll, you can guess what happened next.
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All three of them held you down while their gay uncle, Saburo, came out from under the bed and buttfucked you like it was his birthday and then you rode the JR home sobbing quietly??
 
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Frenchy said:
Nothing sexual but once I got pulled over for some minor offense (driving too fast if I remember well) and as usual I started to speak in broken english... the cop spoke english. Immediately switched to french and... he spoke french too. I felt like I entered the 5th dimension
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I tried this once on the west coast and it actually worked, although admittedly I used a different tactic. I was going around 60mph in a 45mph zone and I get pulled over by these two young white cops.

COP #1: "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"

ME: "EEEEHHHHTO....NOOOO EN-GUUUU-RI-SSHUUUU."

COP #1: "SIR, DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I PULLED YOU OVER???"

ME: "EHHHHHHHTO...I JAPAN. NOOOOO EN-GU-RI-SSHUUUU."

COP #1 (to partner): "God dammit, this fucking Japanese don't speak English. You know Japanese?"

COP #2: "Fuck no. Just cut'em loose. Fuck this."

COP #1: "YOU DRIVE TOO FAST. OK?" (making driving hand gestures)

ME: "HARROOOOO!! I JAPAN!!"

And both of them got back in their squad car and left.

Measured gamble, I suppose. I was considering making Chinese-sounding noises and seeing how that went, but I figured in the off-chance one of them could actually speak some Japanese, at least I could keep up the charade in a second language, rather than continue babbling in strange gong-sounding noises and hoping it gets mistaken for an obscure Chinese dialect. But no matter where you are, cops generally have better things to do than get lost in translation with some squinting, grinning oriental idiot. Especially if it's near lunch time.
 
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May not be Japan but I had to share. Had a dream last night about a smoking hot Korean I met in Paris almost a year ago (review has been up). Nothing special happened in the dream but us conversing, catching up with each other.

I wake up to find a whatsapp message from same girl....(cue X-Files theme music)
 
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One anecdote about traffic policemen that happened to me in somewhere in Japan ... Driving my car I made a wrong right turn to take a street that led faster to my apartment, without following the GPS that indicated a turn at 30 meters. I saw a policeman who stopped me and told me that I shouldn’t have turned there. I apologized in Japanese, and in English I tell him that I just was following the instructions of the GPS (made by the best Japanese manufacturer).
He checked the GPS, saw the manufacturer's brand and was embarrassed. He told me in perfect English that he regretted that the Japanese GPS was not up to date, and that I could continue, but reminded me that I should bear in mind that the responsibility of driving was mine.
I appreciate it and with a smile he said: my brother works in this GPS company, I will tell him next time I meet him.
 
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Frenchy said:
Nothing sexual but once I got pulled over for some minor offense (driving too fast if I remember well) and as usual I started to speak in broken english... the cop spoke english. Immediately switched to french and... he spoke french too. I felt like I entered the 5th dimension
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His past secondment to the ÉNA finally came in handy.
 
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Frenchy said:
great story! Its really weird the way they think that idols/singers etc should be kind of celibate « for the fans » and somehow lose their value if they have a partner or marry someone. I never understood that concept
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It's a very East Asian concept that I've never seen anywhere else. Surely they must expect quite attractive girls in their 20's to be dating. I guess they remain in ignorance to feel better.

just4fun said:
That is pretty normal for the entertainment business......the law I mean.
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I understood it a lot more after getting some experience in seeing their shows up close and how they make their money. The profits they make on little signed photos is especially large and the members tend to get commission so can understand why they'd want to keep relationships secret. Was very strange at first though trying to maintain platonic and not flirty at all when in a relationship.
 
I am not really sure if this will fall under this as this was more weird....

So I went to Shibuya a while back and decided to try hooters (American chain) here. I walk in and the hostess looks at my tall lengthy ass and points me to a table. I ask in English to let me sit at the bar, as I am the single guy that just lengthy.
This girl (not good looking and a bit chubby) responded in English “We only let Japanese sit at the bar.” Oh okay, time to flip this around. I went to my fast Japanese and called her out for being raciest at a American restaurant. Then the bartender walks over...
The bartender (drop dead gorgeous, massive boobs, would drag my dick in glass for a chance to put in her) tells the hostess to screw off and sits me at the bar. After a few rounds of drinks and such, I get a wink and flirty with the bartender. During this time the hostess is shooting me mean looks while the rest of the staff chats with me and I point out that raciest hostess.
Almost closing time, ask bartender for tab and slip in “can I have you line?” She bends over and whispers, “you can have more than my line.” Passes me a napkin with her line and a location to meet up in a hour.
Before I walk out to chill at the next bar, I walk by the hostess and proceed to tell her to stop being so raciest. Good old drinks kicking in. She responds back with a napkin as well and her line....ummm okay, guess she likes the drunk assholes.
I dip out, meet up with the bartender for a few more, go to her apartment for some “homework study.”
Woke up the next day with a hangover and wondering what the piss happened.

still can’t process this one. I didn’t even go back there as I feel I went out on top for that place.
 
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I once saw an oji-san struggling to walk in the park by himself and being the gold hearted countryside girl that I am I decided to offer him a helping hand.
He reciprocated by taking off his pants and showing me his dried up grapes..

Poor guy probably had dementia but since this incident I only help obaa-chan cross the road. I am sorry oji-san.
 
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Durg50 said:
Seriously she said that? That is really odd.
Usually even if places have that kind of policy they would make up some excuse / lie to avoid being explicity racist.
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At the time, I was so taken aback by what she said, I had her repeat it twice. I normally get the excuse of you can only be here 30 minutes then we have a party coming in or some other random thing.
 
Simonka said:
I once saw an oji-san struggling to walk in the park by himself and being the gold hearted countryside girl that I am I decided to offer him a helping hand.
He reciprocated by taking off his pants and showing me his dried up grapes..

Poor guy probably had dementia but since this incident I only help obaa-chan cross the road. I am sorry oji-san.
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I think I've met him. I was waiting for a friend in the middle of Ikebukuro, in broad daylight at a busy intersection, and an old man walked up right next to me, dropped his pants and started pissing on the wall. There was plenty of room yet he chose to go out of his way to piss within spraying distance of me.
 
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MisterYoda said:
At the time, I was so taken aback by what she said, I had her repeat it twice. I normally get the excuse of you can only be here 30 minutes then we have a party coming in or some other random thing.
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Maybe she was trying to isolate you so she could easily pick you up? or maybe she is tired of the girl behind the bar scoring all the good talent?
 
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Durg50 said:
Seriously she said that? That is really odd.
Usually even if places have that kind of policy they would make up some excuse / lie to avoid being explicity racist.
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I've sat at that bar several times
 
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newbie said:
I think I've met him. I was waiting for a friend in the middle of Ikebukuro, in broad daylight at a busy intersection, and an old man walked up right next to me, dropped his pants and started pissing on the wall. There was plenty of room yet he chose to go out of his way to piss within spraying distance of me.
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Can’t imagine how our TJB would have reacted to that ...:D
 
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MisterYoda said:
This girl (not good looking and a bit chubby) responded in English “We only let Japanese sit at the bar.”
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Don't feel too bad. I once walked into that Hooters with a buddy of mine on vacation (also Japanese-American so flying under radar still) and a couple of staff girls greeted us at the door. Buddy of mine is not just drunk but also a fucking asshole, and start leering at the girls' chests and then blurts out, in English: "WHAT THE FUCK?? I THOUGHT THIS WAS HOOTERS! THESE FUCKING BITCHES AIN'T GOT NO TITS!!"

I'm guessing they had at least a rudimentary command of English, as from the looks on their faces this was not lost in translation. Needless to say, we weren't offered a table or a seat at the bar. We ended up doing sidewalk beers outside a Family Mart.
 
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I find it hard to believe a US chain restaurant would openly discriminate in this way. If a random employee were to go out of her way there to do that herself, it should not be difficult to cause her termination either through the management there or via social media. Would have been golden to get that comment on recording.
 
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MisterYoda said:
I am not really sure if this will fall under this as this was more weird....

So I went to Shibuya a while back and decided to try hooters (American chain) here. I walk in and the hostess looks at my tall lengthy ass and points me to a table. I ask in English to let me sit at the bar, as I am the single guy that just lengthy.
This girl (not good looking and a bit chubby) responded in English “We only let Japanese sit at the bar.” Oh okay, time to flip this around. I went to my fast Japanese and called her out for being raciest at a American restaurant. Then the bartender walks over...
The bartender (drop dead gorgeous, massive boobs, would drag my dick in glass for a chance to put in her) tells the hostess to screw off and sits me at the bar. After a few rounds of drinks and such, I get a wink and flirty with the bartender. During this time the hostess is shooting me mean looks while the rest of the staff chats with me and I point out that raciest hostess.
Almost closing time, ask bartender for tab and slip in “can I have you line?” She bends over and whispers, “you can have more than my line.” Passes me a napkin with her line and a location to meet up in a hour.
Before I walk out to chill at the next bar, I walk by the hostess and proceed to tell her to stop being so raciest. Good old drinks kicking in. She responds back with a napkin as well and her line....ummm okay, guess she likes the drunk assholes.
I dip out, meet up with the bartender for a few more, go to her apartment for some “homework study.”
Woke up the next day with a hangover and wondering what the piss happened.

still can’t process this one. I didn’t even go back there as I feel I went out on top for that place.
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As a regular there for years, I'm gonna just go ahead and call this story... highly unlikely.

I surmise that you think you can get away with it unquestioned because the store closed last Friday.
 
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Sudsy said:
As a regular there for years, I'm gonna just go ahead and call this story... highly unlikely.

I surmise that you think you can get away with it unquestioned because the store closed last Friday.
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If you had posted that earlier, you could have saved 1/2 of TAG from making the trek to Shibuya today.
 
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