Too Fat & Too Ugly For Japanese Girls/woman

[Dobermann88]

Hey guys,

I am getting more and more depressive each week …


I am a French exchange student at the age of 26, soon 27, to be here in Tokyo for 2 years and arrived 6 months ago. In the first 2 months I was out with me mates every weekend. Even on the first evening one mate picked up a Japanese girl.

After these 6 months I am the only one left who didn’t pick up any (Japanese) girl here in Tokyo while the others have had at least 2 J-Girls. It’s very disappointing to go through our floors hearing others having sex each weekend.

I have always heard that for Gaijins, especially Caucasians, it’s not too heavy to get J-Girls compared to Europe.

As I said, I am the only one left who didn’t have sex or anything yet with J-Girl right. 2 of my mates already have a J-Girlfriend here.


And it seems that my appearance is my fault:

Unfortunately and due to an underfunction of my thyroid I got some overweight. I don’t look „fat“ and if you see my in the front I look almost normal maybe a little strong-shaped but definitively not fat.

But when you look at me from the side you can see a little punch and to my sorrow, unfortunately I got man breast :-(

Most of the time I am wearing sport jackets so you can’t see them but when I put my jacket off …

Also I think I must look too ugly as well. It’s very disappointing that mates who got facial skin problems have no problems with girls - because they are not fat and it seems that for the J-Girls they are not ugly. In France I have already asked some girls about my face and the just said that I am looking „normal“. So I think I have to look ugly.

The most disappointing point is that in the last 6 months no J-Girl started a conversion with me. My mates didn’t do anything, the J-Girls came automatically and started talking to them and I stood beside them like a punched dog. And Halloween was an absolute Horror for me. Everyone ended up with J-Girls except me.

Back in France I have used Tinder because I am kind of shy because I’ve received only bad experiences, sometimes even laughter, when I did the conventional way.

Here in our dormitory we got a story about a Swedish guy who picked up about 20 or 30 J-Girls in 3 months just via Tinder.

And even my Tinder-Date in France laughed at me and stopped immediately everything after I put off my shirt standing in front of her just with my underpants on.

She said to me I got an ugly body and my tits have almost the same size like hers. That was the worst experience with women I have ever had and I stopped trying to date any girls immediately.

But here in Japan are so many beautiful girls, most of them even single. But the only thing I can do is just dreaming about it and seeing how my mates pick up a J-Girl after one another and I don’t have a chance in any chase. :-(

 

[john.smith]

If you are just searching sex with cute J Girls, www.jk-style.tv and problem is solved. Well if you want relationship, it is another problem though

 

[meiji]

You're probably not going to score a one night stand with a girl in Japan, which is fine. You'd be much better off just making some friends and getting to know some women as people instead of as objects of sexual desire. Getting laid isn't and shouldn't be a competition so what other guys are doing should mean nothing to you. Instead of going out to the bars all the time, get involved in a few hobbies that get you out of the house and meeting people. You might not find your perfect little geisha doll that you have your heart set on, but you'll definitely meet women that are interested.

 

[TAG Manager]

Where are your friends picking up these girls from? Admittedly, it's not hard to pull someone in... and in some cases they do come right up to you. But yeah...

As @john.smith just posted above, there are options out there to find some physical activity fun without the work of trying to pick-up someone from a bar or club.

Your appearance can be somewhat compensated for your attitude about it. If you give off a negative vibe about yourself, others will feel it for sure. So, step one is to give yourself some confidence, no matter how you look. Even though people will generally give you one single thought by your looks, you can counter some of the negativity.

I won't lie and tell you it's easy, but nothing is impossible... it's all about how you approach it and set your expectations accordingly.

 

[TAG Manager]

Well if you want relationship

Open relationships are the best, my personal endorsement.

 

[john.smith]

Open relationships are the best, my personal endorsement.

I've never been into relationship yet, but I think it would be what I prefer too if I would find one.

 

[Dobermann88]

We've been to Shibuya, Shinjuku, Roppongi, Ginza, etc.

In the beginning I just wanted to meet some J-Girls and get them known but it seems that want not to meet me ...

And I honestly admit that I would definitively not say No to an ONS.

As I said, it seems that the J-Girls are avoid me because my appearance.


And I am also afraid of being laughed due to my man tits.

 

[TAG Manager]

And I honestly admit that I would definitively not say No to an ONS.

Those girls.... I bet are only looking for a very short term thing.

Are you friends seeing the same girls over and over? or new ones each week?

 

[Dobermann88]

No, no, you misunderstood me. If I would get a Japanese Girlfriend I would appreciate that. But in the meanwhile an ONS would be also okay.

I can't say that exactly but it seems they are not dating the same girl so often. Rather hooking up new girls every weekend.

 

[TAG Manager]

No, no, you misunderstood me. If I would get a Japanese Girlfriend I would appreciate that. But in the meanwhile an ONS would be also okay.

I can't say that exactly but it seems they are not dating the same girl so often. Rather hooking up new girls every weekend.

You're right, sorry, I misread your message. My mistake!

Well, personally, I prefer not to judge someone's appearance but it can be difficult to get past that first stage of initial chemistry.

Meiji's advice is probably the best aside from just booking someone from an agency. You also have to consider even some girls that you may find attractive, may not think of themselves worthy enough to go to a club. It would be tougher to connect with those girls since they won't be there, but you could start looking around some of the dating sites that are available in Japan.

I've known some guys to simply wait until the night was over and see what girls are left... there are some girls that get unlucky as well and you'll usually see them heading out, usually alone, when the night is coming to an end. (first train, etc.) That all said, I'm also not the best to give advice on the subject! I don't know if I could even pull off what your friends do but I'm told I'm attractive and easy to connect with. So there's that...

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

If you are an exchange student you attend some university, right? Usually there are millions of clubs covering any possible interest one could even think about. Easy to find like minded people there and as you (well you do, but not the others) are not initially going there to find partner, you have a good chance to overcome those initial problems. Just go there with a positive attitude and make friends (japanese!). Much easier if you are not so comfortable with a cold approach. Eventually you will meet someone or even get introduced to someone that way.

I'm not sure if a deai cafe is a good idea. Girls there are quite professional (in my experience). Not sure if that is what you are looking for.

 

[TAG Manager]

Depending how good your Japanese is, you might want to consider Momo date café. There are two in Kabukicho, one of which has the men pick the women (like most date cafés), the other of which is the opposite (women pick the men) and maybe the better one for you.

Yes, you still have to pay the woman but it might be nice to know that the woman has actually chosen to be with you. Also, it would be pretty easy to build up a regular meeting if you have coffee and some conversation before heading to the LH.

Let me give this reply another like. That's not a bad idea....

 

[john.smith]

What are deai cafés I don't understand ? at first I thought it was a place were a place where women and men can meet. But if you say they are professional, it is not different from an escort agency ? I am confused.

 

[Dobermann88]

Okay, but I still think you didn't realize my main problem:

I have overweight and man tits! And maybe I might be to0 ugly.

Let's think about this situation:

I meet a cute J-Girl, we meet several times and then we come to the point we want to have more ... I put my shirt off and she will see I got overweight and probably got bigger boobs than her.

This situation happened in France and it still hurts even nowadays that she laughed down and stopped immediately after several weeks of dating. I have already lost many pounds, but my breast didn't get smaller. The doctor told me that this is due to gene-specific reasons. And I still have a little punch.

I have seen so many perfectly shaped J-Girls with a body like painted. It's very hard to imagine such a J-Girl is laying on me ...

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[Dobermann88]

As I've already thought: J-Girls are body-related. So, no chance for me.

 

[SpookySmoothie]

Japanese men are body related 10 times more which means women who don't have the super skinny body type probably find it much harder to find a boyfriend. I think you are being somewhat idealistic in what a Japanese girl is and what you should be chasing. This is what Japanese men often seem to do they chase ideals they need to be a certain size and within a certain age range and have a certain personality. Or be Russian but that's a whole other thing XD.

My point is I think you can find a nice girlfriend if you really want one. If you just want to sleep with a hot girl there are quick and easy options that will cost you less than long term dating would. But I think for your self confidence finding somebody who has similar interests and is a nice girl would be a better bet. Just don't always set your sights on the stunners try somebody who looks a bit more average maybe a little chubby but a nice shape and just have a nice conversation. If you are a white guy you are already a novelty item so not that hard to make conversation.

 

[Desktop]

There are Japanese women that like overweight men. I can't remember the name for it in Japanese I forgot if it was Debuya or not. There are certainly providers that like overweight guys.
I'd call JK style & express I want a young lady that likes bigger guys.
It will be a confidence booster.
After the confidence is up a bit work on the body more & style yourself a bit for the non pro ladies.

 

[Dobermann88]

I am not talking about the (super) skinny ladies. I don't like this shape.

Please, do not misunderstand me. Actually I am not a guy for a ONS (BTW I wouldn't say no) I just want to learn some J-Girls and see what happens next.

But as men you hopefully understand that I can't be here for 2 years without any sexual fun.


Are there any tipps, club or recommendation or something else.

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

As I've already thought: J-Girls are body-related. So, no chance for me.

You know that it is not so uncommon for those Sumo guys with the perfectly well toned body to marry models or other sorts of starlets?
Hakuho for example married some glamour model and yes, he is the best sumotori ever NOW, but at the time they met and began a relationship he was just and upcoming rikishi on the verge to joining the highest division.

There are certainly Japanese ladies who like bigger guys (even very pretty ones). It's not so uncommon among providers either.

 

[Dobermann88]

You know that it is not so uncommon for those Sumo guys with the perfectly well toned body to marry models or other sorts of starlets?
Hakuho for example married some glamour model and yes, he is the best sumotori ever NOW, but at the time they met and began a relationship he was just and upcoming rikishi on the verge to joining the highest division.

There are certainly Japanese ladies who like bigger guys (even very pretty ones). It's not so uncommon among providers either.

But I am not a sumo and my tits are unfortunately bigger than his ones.

And I am also not very pretty, so ...

What's about dating apps/sites like Tinder oder OkCupid?

I have heard that Tinder shall be very popular and even my mates had several matches/dates with Tinder J-Girls.

 

[DJV]

Most important of all though, don't let your perceived image of yourself hold you back. The number one thing (Western) woman look for in a guy is a good personality and sense of humour. This might differ a little in Japan, but being positive and fun to be around will always attract women.

Certainly true, but the definition of a "good personality and sense of humour" is not the same as what us boys have naturally in mind (and provide).
The very goal in seduction sometimes is to emulate these kind of "good" qualities. Something like a "social makeup"

To the OP : Do you practice sports ? Have you seen a doctor to assess all possibilities, including surgery or extern/local treatments ? There have been some progress recently on these one.
Indeed you may work on your relation skills to be more attractive, but if you can get help with your appearance as well maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing.

About Tinder, I really don't think you can take this seriously. Appearance pleays a key role and you need a good first meeting.

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

Hakuho indeed lacks a bit on breasts, how about Kisenosato?

If you think that appearance is your weak spot, tinder probably isn't good. I think many girls judge by the pic only. It's also really time consuming. Maybe less if you type Japanese like a native, but I need significantly more time writing Japanese than English.
Language exchange is another option where you can make contact without cold approach and you usually have 1:1.

You may not be the most beautiful person in the world, but thats true for almost anyone here minus @User#16452. A nice smile and a positive attitude however greatly enhance how you are perceived. So get rid of that "I'm ugly" attitude. Don't aim for the stars and don't get desperate, because that is most likely not going to attract girls. If your friends/mates always hunt for the night only, that's probably not the right places for you.
And if you didn't do that yet, learn a few Japanese songs. girls in their early 20s still like to go to karaoke and a foreigner singing Japanese always creates quite some impression. Easy to be remembered as a fun guy!

@User#16452
Can you give some hint, what would make good personality and sense of humor for you?

 

[Midlife Crisis]

@Dobermann88 Sorry, but you seem very focused on dating apps or a quick/easy way, but dating apps are main visual and, as you said, you're kinda shy, so that doesn't seem like a good way for you.

I still think @meiji gave you the best advice: join some clubs, get involved in your hobbies, meet people socially, make as many friends as possible, and find someone through that. Maybe most importantly it will make you feel less depressed and build your confidence.