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Train Game

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For all the gamers here, I wanted to talk a little about pick up on the train.

Never done it myself, for the following reasons.


Compared to the street or a bar, the train is a very closed space. Girls don't have the freedom to leave or move away organically. On the street they can just keep walking. In a bar they can excuse themselves. But on the train, they have to stay on until they get to their destination (unless you make her so uncomfortable she gets off at the next stop, god forbid). This may be seen as a pro or a con, but I don't like keeping people if they don't want to be around (past the bitchy stage, when they genuinely don't want to talk).

In addition to that, trains are usually quiet. When you open your mouth to do pickup, everybody is going to look at you (I would imagine at least some people would). Obviously as a gamer there is some level of not caring about what the general public thinks, but the girl will experience discomfort at being thrust under a spotlight.

On a train, the girl usually has her hands occupied. Cellphones seem to be the norm. Rarely do you see a girl idly staring into space. This adds another level of complication - not a lot, but still something.

Lastly, I feel like it doesn't fit with the "ideals" of pickup. Whenever I watch a video of some guy going up to girls, saying something like "you look hot can I get ur number" I cringe a little. Obviously it works for some people, but I personally don't like to work that way. But it seems that on the train, you need to be quick and succinct before the girl gets off the train.

Maybe these reasons are all rather trifling. At the end of the day, I suppose my question is, is it just up to you to say, "Fuck it, I'm talking to this girl, who cares if she's on a train." or is there a certain way to approach it (perhaps with more finesse) based on what is socially acceptable?

Of course, there are reasons to do train pickup. The first and foremost one I can think of is that sometimes you see a girl that you really like (based on looks) but know that you probably aren't headed for the same area. So you need the LINE ID and fast.


So, here are my questions:

What are some openings that you've used on a train? Is there any etiquette if a girl is on her phone?

Have you had any experience with pickup on the train? (feel free to share ;))

Should it be done at all?
 
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Deckard, oh spoiled child,

First of all, relevant topic. I believe the majority of folks here on TAG have similar fantasies, myself included.

As long as it remains in the realm of fantasy, wonderful!

You enumerate most of the reasons why train PUA is not appropriate, so you have a good head on your shoulders.

That said, I've made a few connections on a train, however they came about since I was obviously so confused by being in a foreign country. The people who reached out to me did so out of concern and a willingness to help a stranger.

One such relationship lasted years, on a platonic level, when I was helped. We exchanged contact information and I went on th help her with her English skills, meeting once a week, free of charge. I had just moved to Japan and she helped me immensely to adjust.

What I learned from her aided me immensely when I met the woman who became my life's partner.

So, as long as train PUA remains in Fantasyland-great!

There are rare exceptions IMHO.

On the other hand, there is a massive danger of being accused, rightly or wrongly of harassment, which could lead to the involvement of the Man and possible deportment.

It's one reason for women only cars.
 
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Girls don't have the freedom to leave or move away organically. On the street they can just keep walking. In a bar they can excuse themselves.

Finally something that makes sense in the PUA forum.

Is there any etiquette if a girl is on her phone?

Yes there is! And it works 100%, not only in trains: Leave her alone
 
First of all, I will preface this by saying that I respect both of your opinions, but much like the ladies-only thread, this was directed at those who practice pickup. We've had too many messy threads that I wanted to keep it to people who were knowledgeable about and willing to discuss what I asked. But don't worry, since you've made yourself comfortable you are welcome to stay, as long as you don't make a nuisance of yourself ;).

That said, I will address some of your concerns:

That said, I've made a few connections on a train, however they came about since I was obviously so confused by being in a foreign country. The people who reached out to me did so out of concern and a willingness to help a stranger.

One such relationship lasted years, on a platonic level, when I was helped. We exchanged contact information and I went on th help her with her English skills, meeting once a week, free of charge. I had just moved to Japan and she helped me immensely to adjust.

What I learned from her aided me immensely when I met the woman who became my life's partner.

So, as long as train PUA remains in Fantasyland-great!

There are rare exceptions IMHO.

So, if I may condense what you have said, approaching someone with the intent to help them (and perhaps develop a friendship) is fine, but solely trying to know them better is off limits except in "rare exceptions" the criteria of which are undefined.

About your English partner, I am glad you had a good takeaway from the experience, but I do question your reasoning that women should not be approached on the train if you were in fact approached by a woman and had a fulfilling relationship from it. Would it be alright, in your eyes, if women were the ones doing the pickup?

On the other hand, there is a massive danger of being accused, rightly or wrongly of harassment, which could lead to the involvement of the Man and possible deportment.

It's one reason for women only cars.

There is a huge difference between groping someone and talking to them, the former is the actual (and only) reason for those cars. The danger you speak of seems to come mainly from your own perceptions, I believe. How often have you seen a man accused of harassment because he was talking to a woman?

Yes there is! And it works 100%, not only in trains: Leave her alone

Now this point is completely wrong, my friend.

The number of times I have been fiddling on my phone, bored stiff, and GLAD for any conversation are rather numerous.

Don't you think girls feel the same way? Not all of them are doing big business on their phones. In fact, many of the girls are happy that you talk to them, not least because they are looking for a little excitement and variety from the daily grind.

My question was aimed at breaking the ice specifically if a girl is using her phone. On the street, asking for directions or just talking to her is fine, but when a girl is on the phone, on the train, I believe there is a different way to go about it.
 
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Now this point is completely wrong, my friend.

The number of times I have been fiddling on my phone, bored stiff, and GLAD for any conversation are rather numerous.

Don't you think girls feel the same way? Not all of them are doing big business on their phones. In fact, many of the girls are happy that you talk to them, not least because they are looking for a little excitement and variety from the daily grind.

My question was aimed at breaking the ice specifically if a girl is using her phone. On the street, asking for directions or just talking to her is fine, but when a girl is on the phone, on the train, I believe there is a different way to go about it.

You are right there!
But what about the other amount of times where the girl is actually busy / concerned / whatever-else-might-be ?
Is the attempt to pick up a girl worthy enough to be a pain in the ass chance? Would you really take it?

Lets always have in mind the unconsidered,

In any case, if you are that desperate , you can always wait until she finishes, but as I read recently: The Cock Market is an all time low.
 
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You are right there!
But what about the other amount of times where the girl is actually busy / concerned / whatever-else-might-be ?
Is the attempt to pick up a girl worthy enough to be a pain in the ass chance? Would you really take it?

Lets always have in mind the unconsidered!
You are not being a pain in the ass simply by talking to someone.

If we are considering the unconsidered, how about this: she is more likely to be receptive to an approach than to actually be busy or uninterested.

In your head, when you think of a "PUA", you think of one of those annoying guys you see on video randomly going up to ladies and being very blunt.
However, there is a Japanese female who gets nanpaed a lot and set up a Twitter account to give feedback on those experiences. (Kaede, I think...)
She said, "The best nanpa doesn't feel like nanpa."

Try thinking about it that way.
 
Note that I am not advocating or against train pickup, but looking for opinions and experiences, preferably from those in the gaming community.
 
You are not being a pain in the ass simply by talking to someone.

How do you know ?

But that's rhetoric, I don't want the answer. We'll end up in a several pages long thread and you wont change my mind and I wont change yours.

Rain check for the next time we are both drunk!
 
How do you know ?

But that's rhetoric, I don't want the answer. We'll end up in a several pages long thread and you wont change my mind and I wont change yours.

Rain check for the next time we are both drunk!
Yes, a couple chu-his and the world is a little rosier.

But you know, you are not being a pain in the ass replying to me, and I hope that I am not being one in replying to you.

What's the difference if we had this conversation in real life? (that's not rhetoric, but we can leave it here, huh?)
 
What's the difference if we had this conversation in real life? (that's not rhetoric, but we can leave it here, huh?)

you know...words are just 50% of the communication, and so far in PUA related topics, that 50% never has been enough for me ;\
 
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PUA and coming to the aid of a fellow human being are two completely animals.

It is perfectly fine to interact with another person when it is obviously a mutual experience with no self-centered intent.

To initiate an interaction in the hopes of getting lucky in a public setting that is devoid of any expected social interaction is crossing the line, especially when one is a guest in that country.

And thank you so much for allowing me to express my response to your personal and private thread as long as I do not make a nuisance of myself. It is most gracious of you to do so.:shifty:
 
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You are not being a pain in the ass simply by talking to someone.

If we are considering the unconsidered, how about this: she is more likely to be receptive to an approach than to actually be busy or uninterested.

How about the fact that most others on the train will think you are horribly rude? Would you approach and try to pick up an attractive woman in a darkened movie theater?
 
How about the fact that most others on the train will think you are horribly rude? Would you approach and try to pick up an attractive woman in a darkened movie theater?

Do not be surprised if the youthful Deckard responded to the affirmative. After all, it is rather difficult to control his split personality
1. The ability he obviously has of sizing up a situation rather quickly and rationally.
2. His dominant organ, penis, which only has a one track mind of its own.

Oh, to be young and horny! Those were the days!
 
PUA and coming to the aid of a fellow human being are two completely animals.

It is perfectly fine to interact with another person when it is obviously a mutual experience with no self-centered intent.

To initiate an interaction in the hopes of getting lucky in a public setting that is devoid of any expected social interaction is crossing the line, especially when one is a guest in that country.

And thank you so much for allowing me to express my response to your personal and private thread as long as I do not make a nuisance of myself. It is most gracious of you to do so.:shifty:

Aww Reggs, don't take it personally, it was just a little joke. But you know, I did intend for the thread to be for the PUA community only since people generally dislike discussion of such things and drop by only to throw shade. I don't see a difference in this and the "ladies only" thread (I assume you know the one) - sometimes you only want opinions from a certain group. I'm considering moving to another forum already (I know some people here would be very happy) but I enjoy the diverse views here. Sometimes, though, I would appreciate it if discussion was limited to certain members, something which you and I know about, hint hint.

I must ask you again whether it is acceptable in your opinion for an attractive female like Alice to be asking out guys on the train as she has done before.

How about the fact that most others on the train will think you are horribly rude? Would you approach and try to pick up an attractive woman in a darkened movie theater?

Sorry meiji, that is a prime example of a false analogy. The train and the movie theater are not the same thing at all, not even remotely similar.
To answer your question directly, no I would not, because there is a social expectation not to talk in the theater.
However, many people do so on the train; if a train is quiet it is not for a social rule that conversation is not allowed, but rather that most people are travelling solo.

When I replied to Damian, I was referring to people who are on their phones, whether or not they are on the train.
Regarding the train, I have already made my stance clear a few posts above, perhaps you missed it.

Nevertheless, in the interest of discussion, why don't you answer the question I posed to Roots?
Is it abhorrent when Alice does it?
 
Dai jobu,

Nothing taken personally. You know I like you. I will however, give back to you just as much as you throw at me.

As much as I am a feminist and believe in equality of the genders, your example of Alice does not make your point.

Just as some races have experienced great injustices in the past, until those injustices have been corrected ,over a long, long period of time, a greater degree of sensitivity should be applied.

In a similar fashion, until women have experienced due respect for a long, long period of time, a similar degree of sensitivity should be applied. In my opinion, for the most part, women are still viewed as mere objects existing primarily for the pleasure of men,certainly not treated as equals.

We are still very much in a transition period in that regard. I am afraid that your attitudes represent part of the problem
that slows down that transition.
 
Dai jobu,

Nothing taken personally. You know I like you. I will however, give back to you just as much as you throw at me.

As much as I am a feminist and believe in equality of the genders, your example of Alice does not make your point.

Just as some races have experienced great injustices in the past, until those injustices have been corrected ,over a long, long period of time, a greater degree of sensitivity should be applied.

In a similar fashion, until women have experienced due respect for a long, long period of time, a similar degree of sensitivity should be applied. In my opinion, for the most part, women are still viewed as mere objects existing primarily for the pleasure of men,certainly not treated as equals.

We are still very much in a transition period in that regard. I am afraid that your attitudes represent part of the problem
that slows down that transition.

I would rather appreciate it if you could answer the question directly - is it okay when she does it, or not?
It's a yes or a no, my friend.

Again, nothing personal, just want to refine your opinions and understand the processes behind them.
 
I would rather appreciate it if you could answer the question directly - is it okay when she does it, or not?
It's a yes or a no, my friend.

Again, nothing personal, just want to refine your opinions and understand the processes behind them.

Yes, it's OK.

In the same way that a person of color can use the N word with no disrespect, but when a member of the the group that formerly oppressed an entire race does so, it is beyond repulsive.

Still, I doubt if you get it now. Maybe in a few years.

Hey, just my opinion. I am merely a simple man with simple thoughts.
 
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A simple yes no question is usually a way for someone to try and "trap" a person by artificial logic. Roots Reggie here wrote a very thoughtful response to that question and I think clearly explained why it's misleading to ask for a yes/no answer.
 
Yes, it's OK.

In the same way that a person of color can use the N word with no disrespect, but when a member of the the group that formerly oppressed an entire race does so, it is beyond repulsive.

Still, I doubt if you get it now. Maybe in a few years.

Hey, just my opinion. I am merely a simple man with simple thoughts.

I understand your sentiment.

However, I must point out a flaw in your comparison. The word you mention is used exclusively among the formerly oppressed as a symbol of solidarity, and is never directed at the former oppressors.
Women picking up men would be comparable to AAs calling whites "cracka".

You have to ask yourself, is that okay on account of a former oppression?

My country in SEA was colonised by Japan, its people brutally tortured and murdered en masse.
We were taught of their atrocities in school for many years.
How they would pump water into the stomachs of people until they were bloated, and then jump on them causing water to rush out of their orifices, for pleasure.
How they would electric shock a naked woman until she was convulsing, in front of her watching husband and children.
How they systematically targeted certain races and drove them to the beach in truckloads to slaughter, shooting them in the back of the head one by one as they sat in a line, and then letting their bodies wash out with the tide.
We were also taught forgiveness, and progress.

I don't hold any grievances towards the Japanese at all. What is past is past, we move on from it together.

We shouldn't allow for special exclusions on account of former oppression, in my opinion.
But we can agree to disagree.
 
A simple yes no question is usually a way for someone to try and "trap" a person by artificial logic. Roots Reggie here wrote a very thoughtful response to that question and I think clearly explained why it's misleading to ask for a yes/no answer.
A yes/no answer is often backed up with reasons.

I don't expect someone as thoughtful as Roots to provide an unfurnished answer. No trapping intended.

By the way, his name is Roots Reggae.
 
A simple yes no question is usually a way for someone to try and "trap" a person by artificial logic. Roots Reggie here wrote a very thoughtful response to that question and I think clearly explained why it's misleading to ask for a yes/no answer.

Thank you, snafu, and nice to start to get to know you.

Our boy Deckard is young and intelligent. In my mind, he is still very much in his formative years. He is trying out ideas and seeing how they fit him. As such, he deserves a bit of latitude. At the core, I see him as a good person, a little rough around the edges.
 
A yes/no answer is often backed up with reasons.

I don't expect someone as thoughtful as Roots to provide an unfurnished answer. No trapping intended.

By the way, his name is Roots Reggae.

Thanks Deckard,
However since we are operating as pseudonyms, I don't mind Roots at all.;)
 
I understand your sentiment.

However, I must point out a flaw in your comparison. The word you mention is used exclusively among the formerly oppressed as a symbol of solidarity, and is never directed at the former oppressors.
Women picking up men would be comparable to AAs calling whites "cracka".

You have to ask yourself, is that okay on account of a former oppression?

My country in SEA was colonised by Japan, its people brutally tortured and murdered en masse.
We were taught of their atrocities in school for many years.
How they would pump water into the stomachs of people until they were bloated, and then jump on them causing water to rush out of their orifices, for pleasure.
How they would electric shock a naked woman until she was convulsing, in front of her watching husband and children.
How they systematically targeted certain races and drove them to the beach in truckloads to slaughter, shooting them in the back of the head one by one as they sat in a line, and then letting their bodies wash out with the tide.
We were also taught forgiveness, and progress.

I don't hold any grievances towards the Japanese at all. What is past is past, we move on from it together.

We shouldn't allow for special exclusions on account of former oppression, in my opinion.
But we can agree to disagree.

In a more perfect world, of course you are correct.

Your examples and your ability to reconcile them as such, affirm my high opinion of you.

Unfortunately, the the reality is that society is way behind you in its ability to adjust so quickly.