Vanilla VS. Kinky

Would you consider yourself "vanilla" or "kinky"?

  • Vanilla

    Votes: 11 26.2%
  • Kinky

    Votes: 27 64.3%
  • Other

    Votes: 4 9.5%

  • Total voters
    42
This thread reminds me of something I hadn't thought of in years. Many years ago, when I was going through military training there was a Texan in my unit. A really nice guy, but didn't know much about the world. We were going home for Thanksgiving leave. I mentioned that my girlfriend had bought some new lingerie and stockings for the occasion and couldn't wait to see her in them. He said to me "lingerie and stockings, wow that's really kinky!". I can only laugh. I wonder what he'd think of some of the things I've done since then.
 
I personally see myself as a total sub and fancy light BDSM in my personal life. I have experimented with restraints, choking, spanking, blindfolds, and ice play.. have yet to try candle play, edging, and hard BDSM, but I wouldn't mind trying them out in the future.

The loss of control is kind of exciting, and I love dominant men.. but of course, I wouldn't want clients trying this on me unless they were regulars that I could trust in the bedroom.

I'm with you, on all of the above, @MissInsomnia. However, I'm finding that more often clients want me to take charge to give them an experience that they wouldn't normally have. Hence, I've been taking some BDSM lessons at a kink studio here in Sydney. The session on sensory deprivation was particularly fascinating. I love the term "sporty vanilla"! Maybe I could re-brand myself as GFE+...
 
I'm with you, on all of the above, @MissInsomnia. However, I'm finding that more often clients want me to take charge to give them an experience that they wouldn't normally have. Hence, I've been taking some BDSM lessons at a kink studio here in Sydney. The session on sensory deprivation was particularly fascinating. I love the term "sporty vanilla"! Maybe I could re-brand myself as GFE+...
I've had two or three men ask me if I could try dominating them. I only tried it once, but it wasn't for me. Fortunately, he was really sweet and understanding.. told me not to force myself to like or practice femdom.

I think I'd be the worst dominatrix ever. After whipping/slapping somebody with their consent, I'll probably say something like, "OMG!! ARE YOU OKAY?!!" :ROFLMAO:

BDSM lessons sound awesome! Knowing you, I'm sure these clients would love to see your dominant side!
 
I'm with you, on all of the above, @MissInsomnia. However, I'm finding that more often clients want me to take charge to give them an experience that they wouldn't normally have. Hence, I've been taking some BDSM lessons at a kink studio here in Sydney. The session on sensory deprivation was particularly fascinating. I love the term "sporty vanilla"! Maybe I could re-brand myself as GFE+...
That sounds awesome!
This is a bit off topic but i wish i could follow some lessons to be an better escort. Just some "courses" not related to the main part of the job but to things that could still be helpful. Like BDSM for example, and i saw on a TV show that a girl who joined a high end escort agency had to take a wine tasting and an etiquette class.
From all of this, especially etiquette class seems very useful to me.
 
Speaking as someone who would enjoy doing all of the above with you, I love that sort of stuff but very rarely get to play as it takes so much trust. Not complaining, the trust it's absolutely essential and you can't rush it, but in my area at least there is only one provider who is totally into kinky play and she only visits a few times a year. Takes a long time to build trust that way.

Never met any woman in my personal life that wanted anything more than vanilla. It's easier to explore kinks these days than ever before I think, but still difficult if your outside certain major metro areas of the world I think where people of like minds have gathered.

As is becoming the routine case, @wraithfive's words above could also pretty well describe my situation and experiences, BUT in this case it would have been as of about five years ago only. Since then my BDSM access/opportunities changed completely and for no apparent reason.

At that time I met a young Japanese woman (university educated in the US though) with whom I connected extremely strongly and with whom I had one of the most intense affairs of my life (but that is a whole different story and not one I'm about to tell here). It turned out that she was very much into light BDSM as a sub, and we had loads of fun and vivid experiences with it. She used to say things to me like, "What you are doing to me isn't like one of my fantasies; it *is* one of them exactly, like you can read my mind. I just can't believe it!" Etc.

Anyway, and to finally come to the point of this post, ever since then I have found it much easier, almost routine, to find partners (mostly sugar partners) who are willing and eager to do that sort of play. Some are experienced; some are just curious and willing to give it a try. But it seems like it is half or more of the new women I've met since that first BDSM-oriented relationship. I am often shocked and a bit worried by how much and how soon some young women are willing to trust me to tie them up etc, sometimes even on the first or second date! I think this is VERY unwise on their parts and tell them so, fwiiw.

I am, of course, really happy about this development, but I can't for the life of me see any reasonable explanation for the sudden change. It is definitely not due to anything of which I'm consciously aware. Not that I am complaining; mysteries make life more fun. But I'd still like to know.

-Ww
 
Last edited:
As is becoming the routine case, @wraithfive's words above could also pretty well describe my situation and experiences, BUT in this case it would have been as of about five years ago only. Since then my BDSM access/opportunities changed completely and for no apparent reason.

At that time I met a young Japanese woman (university educated in the US though) with whom I connected extremely strongly and with whom I had one of the most intense affairs of my life (but that is a whole different story and not one I'm about to tell here). It turned out that she was very much into light BDSM as a sub, and we had loads of fun and vivid experiences with it. She used to say things to me like, "What you are doing to me isn't like one of my fantasies; it *is* one of them exactly, like you could read my mind. I just can't believe it!" Etc.

Anyway, and to finally come to the point of this post, ever since then I have found it much easier, almost routine, to find partners (mostly sugar partners) who are willing and eager to do that sort of play. Some are experienced; some are just curious and willing to give it a try. But it seems like it is half or more of the new women I've met since that first BDSM-oriented relationship. I am often shocked and a bit worried by how much and how soon some young women are willing to trust me to tie them up etc, sometimes even on the first or second date! I think this is VERY unwise on their parts and tell them so, fwiiw.

I am, of course, really happy about this development, but I can't for the life of me see any reasonable explanation for the sudden change. It is definitely not due to anything of which I'm consciously aware. Not that I am complaining; mysteries make life more fun. But I'd still like to know.

-Ww
I can only hope to encounter the same. I will say that after my post I had a wonderful first meeting with an SB who seems really interested in trying out some BDSM fantasies. Our only problem is that the particular arrangement might limit our options a bit (as I can't imagine handcuffs and floggers go down well in carry on luggage lmao).
 
I can only hope to encounter the same. I will say that after my post I had a wonderful first meeting with an SB who seems really interested in trying out some BDSM fantasies. Our only problem is that the particular arrangement might limit our options a bit (as I can't imagine handcuffs and floggers go down well in carry on luggage lmao).
Haha oops! Maybe research the local sex shops scene and buy some things there and throw it away again after the play. It is a waste but its also more hygienic and simply the best way if you dont want to deal with the confused people at customs. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wwanderer
Haha oops! Maybe research the local sex shops scene and buy some things there and throw it away again after the play. It is a waste but its also more hygienic and simply the best way if you dont want to deal with the confused people at customs. :)

I've considered that and I'm sure that we will go that route from time to time but I think for our next air trip we'll try to limit our selves to, well, "vanilla" toys lol. Small vibrators or something along those lines (I'm not embarrassed about security seeing them or pulling them out or anything, just don't want to try to take something through they think can be used to hijack a plane :nailbiting:).

When we want to take more serious toys we have a lovely mountain area within driving distance for a weekend away and can rent a nice private cabin ;)
 
Fwiiw, I have flown internationally with a variety of sex toys and BDSM gear routinely for the last few years without any problems. (I mean who knows when you've going to need your equipment on short notice?)

Shopping for the instruments of pleasure together as a couple can be great fun and add the spice of anticipation to the mix.

-Ww
 
Fwiiw, I have flown internationally with a variety of sex toys and BDSM gear routinely for the last few years without any problems. (I mean who knows when you've going to need your equipment on short notice?)

Shopping for the instruments of pleasure together as a couple can be great fun and add the spice of anticipation to the mix.

-Ww
Good to know. Checked baggage or carry on is my question? I mean, I honestly don't expect any trouble in checked baggage. I mean if I can check my gun (MURICA' :D), I can't see much else I couldn't check. It's more the carry on I'm worried about. For weekend getaways I never check a bag.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wwanderer
Checked baggage or carry on is my question?

Checked, at least mostly; there might have been exceptions I've forgotten. And yeah, checking luggage for a short trip is a nuisance but so is not being able to find the toys and gear you want in-stock in a local adult store that might not even be open when the need arrives.

-Ww
 
Ime one of the more common and frustrating problems with bondage play is a lack of furniture and fixtures to which the sub can be effectively and non-destructively (to the furniture/fixture and obviously to her precious self) secured. It can make a huge difference, and very often is a, or the, big problem.

Among upscale Tokyo hotels (4 or 5 stars), The Conrad has the best rooms for BDSM purposes of which I am aware. It is easy to imagine that the interior designer and architect secretly had that in mind.

-Ww
 
Ime one of the more common and frustrating problems with bondage play is a lack of furniture and fixtures to which the sub can be effectively and non-destructively (to the furniture/fixture and obviously to her precious self) secured. It can make a huge difference, and very often is a, or the, big problem.

Among upscale Tokyo hotels (4 or 5 stars), The Conrad has the best rooms for BDSM purposes of which I am aware. It is easy to imagine that the interior designer and architect secretly had that in mind.

-Ww
I've stayed almost exclusively in suites in my recent travels and more than once I've had the same thought about the interior design. The couch in my suite in LA in particular seemed to have D-Rings and straps for which there was seemingly no legitimate purpose. I didn't originally notice it myself but my companion for the evening has been featured in several scenes for a certain san francisco studio that shoots in a particularly well known historic building and pointed it out to me.

Sorry if that last bit sounded a little like bragging and teasing. But, honestly I'm kind of proud of the experience and wish I wasn't obligated to not come out and say who it was.
 
my companion for the evening has been featured in several scenes for a certain san francisco studio that shoots in a particularly well known historic building

kink.com Pretty hardcore stuff!

Sorry if that last bit sounded a little like bragging and teasing. But, honestly I'm kind of proud of the experience and wish I wasn't obligated to not come out and say who it was.

I'd be proud too, I am pretty sure.

-Ww
 
kink.com Pretty hardcore stuff!



I'd be proud too, I am pretty sure.

-Ww
Yeah, sadly she didn't come prepared for that sort of play. Actually, she didn't come prepared at all as if I hadn't had condoms on hand we would have had an issue. But it was her very first time escorting as part of this agency, they had her jumping through some odd hoops and stuff, and I think it just slipped her mind that she wasn't going to a set with everything provided. She was still a hell of a lot of fun once we got that all out of the way and I always make sure to have my own condoms available just in case.
 
Just on a side note, you might not be able to find everything you need at a local adult store,but nowadays you can order anything on Internet and have it delivered to your destination. Would of course be wise to order ahead of time ;)
 
Just on a side note, you might not be able to find everything you need at a local adult store,but nowadays you can order anything on Internet and have it delivered to your destination. Would of course be wise to order ahead of time ;)

In the US at least (not sure about Japan), Amazon itself carries a reasonable variety of sex toys and gear...complete with ratings and reviews by past purchasers.

-Ww
 
  • Like
Reactions: AliceInWonderland
In the US at least (not sure about Japan), Amazon itself carries a reasonable variety of sex toys and gear...complete with ratings and reviews by past purchasers.

-Ww
And if you search for that, guess what is gonna be on the front page of amazon when you open it up next time in front of someone?

As for the reviews, some of those are genuinely hilarious!
 
Just on a side note, you might not be able to find everything you need at a local adult store,but nowadays you can order anything on Internet and have it delivered to your destination. Would of course be wise to order ahead of time ;)

In the US at least (not sure about Japan), Amazon itself carries a reasonable variety of sex toys and gear...complete with ratings and reviews by past purchasers.

Thank god for Amazon Prime hehe (I had actually typed this and failed to hit post prior to @Wwanderer's amazon comment)
 
In the US at least (not sure about Japan), Amazon itself carries a reasonable variety of sex toys and gear...complete with ratings and reviews by past purchasers.

-Ww

Just as a side note, Amazon hasn't breached all countries yet, at least in Asia. Notably neither Amazon nor Rakuten are established in Thailand or Indonesia. Lazada is usually a good alternative. I'm pretty sure that holds true for the rest of the developing countries here too.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wwanderer
Our only problem is that the particular arrangement might limit our options a bit (as I can't imagine handcuffs and floggers go down well in carry on luggage lmao).

Can say from experience that handcuffs in carry-on luggage will be seized by airport security. Leather restraints with buckles are fine, though. :D