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what do you think about a woman

It's not really enough to form any sort of opinion. Generally speaking I think what two people decide about how to run their relationship is up to them. Just because something works or doesn't work for one relationship it doesn't mean it will be the same in another relationship.
 
It's not really enough to form any sort of opinion. Generally speaking I think what two people decide about how to run their relationship is up to them. Just because something works or doesn't work for one relationship it doesn't mean it will be the same in another relationship.


that's true.
the problem is that while she agrees with his "escapades" and finds it okay if he wants to talk about it , he does not allow her to have any. and i found it unfair. or is it fair from a guy's point of view ?
 
that's true.
the problem is that while she agrees with his "escapades" and finds it okay if he wants to talk about it , he does not allow her to have any. and i found it unfair. or is it fair from a guy's point of view ?
definitely not fair
 
that's true.
the problem is that while she agrees with his "escapades" and finds it okay if he wants to talk about it , he does not allow her to have any. and i found it unfair. or is it fair from a guy's point of view ?
Just because she abandoned the idea of being the one responsible for his sexual pleasure doesn't mean he should do the same. Of course if he there is something he refuse to do with her he can't complain if she goes take it somewhere else.

Many guys will think the same and maybe others will disagree but for me my wife's need are my duty, I can never refuse to satisfy her sexually, that would make me feel like I'm not a real man. Refusing sexual things to my wife would be the same as refusing to provide food for my kids.

But many/most women don't think this way, they don't feel like they are not real women when they refuse intimacy. They don't think it's a big deal to turn their husband's approach down but I see that women whose approach is turned down are deeply affected and take it as insult.

I used to think it's not fair but now I think fairness doesn't have anything to do with it, it's just a different way of thinking. But I think it's fair that someone who's ready to provide anytime refuses you to take from a different supplier.
 
for me my wife's need are my duty...Refusing sexual things to my wife would be the same as refusing to provide food for my kids.

So you will provide her with anything that she decides to need? Like a new car every week? No, because you mean only sex things? Well, if she doesn't happen to like sex that's as easy a promise as her promising to provide you with a new pair of high heels any time you want.

Unless you are into wearing high heels, not judging! :p

And the second thing just doesn't make any sense as if you don't feed your kids you'll have the cops show up soon but I've never heard anyone being sued for not providing sex to their spouse.

A marriage is not a promise for sex, as I am pretty sure many men, and some women, have already found out. At least if you didn't get married with Asia Carrera who in her wedding vows promised to give her hubby lots of nookie, at least once a day every day. :D
 
So you will provide her with anything that she decides to need? Like a new car every week? No, because you mean only sex things? Well, if she doesn't happen to like sex that's as easy a promise as her promising to provide you with a new pair of high heels any time you want.

Unless you are into wearing high heels, not judging! :p

And the second thing just doesn't make any sense as if you don't feed your kids you'll have the cops show up soon but I've never heard anyone being sued for not providing sex to their spouse.

A marriage is not a promise for sex, as I am pretty sure many men, and some women, have already found out. At least if you didn't get married with Asia Carrera who in her wedding vows promised to give her hubby lots of nookie, at least once a day every day. :D
I'm talking about sexual needs, the basic need that is supposed to be fulfilled by the other party in a couple no matter how rich or poor they are. And I wouldn't complain if someone else buy her a car every week, what I wouldn't accept is that someone else gives her sexual pleasure while I'm ready to do that wherever whenever.

If she doesn't like sex then there is no reason for her to seek it from another provider so this example is off-topic. If she needs 50 and I give her 45 (10% margin for cases where I'm not around or she doesn't express her need) but I need 300 and she gives me 45 + allowing me to take around 45 elsewhere then she will be lacking 10% of her needs and I'll be lacking 70% of mine and I provide her 90% and she provides me 15% so don't say it's unfair that I see other women and she doesn't see other men.

As far as it concerns the law, it's made by human and it can be changed, in many cases it needs to be changed. I'm not shocked by laws that authorizes women to divorce and ask for compensation for lack of intimate care by her husband. That makes more sense to me than laws that punishes adultery.
 
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that's true.
the problem is that while she agrees with his "escapades" and finds it okay if he wants to talk about it , he does not allow her to have any. and i found it unfair. or is it fair from a guy's point of view ?
I don't think its unfair if they both honestly agree on it.
A relationship should be an agreement between the people in it, and if she is ok with him doing it but does not need it for herself and understands he does not want her to, its fair.
If she only agrees on it to please him but she is unhappy and she is jealous that she cant do the same thing, then there is a problem.
 
that's true.
the problem is that while she agrees with his "escapades" and finds it okay if he wants to talk about it , he does not allow her to have any. and i found it unfair. or is it fair from a guy's point of view ?

Tbh, my relationships probably haven't lasted long enough (past 10 years or whatever ) for me to desperately grave for other women nor the intra relationship sex to completely dry out. So my opinion might change at some point.

However for what it's worth, I'm not very fond of the idea to sexually share my partner with others. I would be very reluctant to deals to play outside exactly because of what you describe, the implied expectation that it goes both ways.

Then again there is probably a reason why she decided to give him this permission in the first place and that's individual to them, so I can't judge.

But generally I don't agree with you. Either you agree upfront on a deal for both sides or not, but later bringing fairness arguments to get what you eventually wanted from the start, no thanks.

It may very well feel unfair to the woman in question that the guy demands rights that he isn't willing to grant to the girl, but then it's up to her to take consequences or not. Given that they have ever really discussed the topic.
 
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Tbh, my relationships probably haven't lasted long enough (past 10 years or whatever ) for me to desperately grave for other women nor the intra relationship sex to completely dry out. So my opinion might change at some point.

However for what it's worth, I'm not very fond of the idea to sexually share my partner with others. I would be very reluctant to deals to play outside exactly because of what you describe, the implied expectation that it goes both ways.

Then again there is probably a reason why she decided to give him this permission in the first place and that's individual to them, so I can't judge.

But generally I don't agree with you. Either you agree upfront on a deal for both sides or not, but later bringing fairness arguments to get what you eventually wanted from the start, no thanks.

It may very well feel unfair to the woman in question that the guy demands rights that he isn't willing to grant to the girl, but then it's up to her to take consequences or not. Given that they have ever really discussed the topic.


It's this reluctance that you are talking about that I don't understand. I mean, it's not okay both ways, why ? She gave him permission because they are together for more than ten years and even if they still have great sex, there is always for a man a need to 'try' another woman. and I also talked to a lot of other married women who understand their husband's desires and find it ok to let him try as long as it's not a threat to their marriage.
However, it still doesn't go both ways.

I agree when you said that the woman should be upfront about what she wants. But she might be true to herself and doesn't want it. And that might change in a couple of years, I don't think it's a deal for life.
 
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It's this reluctance that you are talking about that I don't understand. I mean, it's not okay both ways, why ? She gave him permission because they are together for more than ten years and even if they still have great sex, there is always for a man a need to 'try' another woman. and I also talked to a lot of other married women who understand their husband's desires and find it ok to let him try as long as it's not a threat to their marriage.
However, it still doesn't go both ways.

I agree when you said that the woman should be upfront about what she wants. But she might be true to herself and doesn't want it. And that might change in a couple of years, I don't think it's a deal for life.
I explained the reasons to be reluctant in my previous message and to summarize it he has every right to be reluctant if he's ready to give her all the sex she need. Maybe she's not ready to give all the sex HE needs.
 
I explained the reasons to be reluctant in my previous message and to summarize it he has every right to be reluctant if he's ready to give her all the sex she need. Maybe she's not ready to give all the sex HE needs.


Let's say that she is ready to give everything he needs.
 
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Let's say that she is ready to give everything he needs.
Just because she abandoned the idea of being the one responsible for his sexual pleasure doesn't mean he should do the same. Of course if he there is something he refuse to do with her he can't complain if she goes take it somewhere else.

Many guys will think the same and maybe others will disagree but for me my wife's need are my duty, I can never refuse to satisfy her sexually, that would make me feel like I'm not a real man. Refusing sexual things to my wife would be the same as refusing to provide food for my kids.

But many/most women don't think this way, they don't feel like they are not real women when they refuse intimacy. They don't think it's a big deal to turn their husband's approach down but I see that women whose approach is turned down are deeply affected and take it as insult.

I used to think it's not fair but now I think fairness doesn't have anything to do with it, it's just a different way of thinking. But I think it's fair that someone who's ready to provide anytime refuses you to take from a different supplier.


I wonder why she abandoned the idea of having sex with him. Why women turn down their husbands ? Are they bored ? wanna try something new ? Or they don't like it anymore ? Or he just doesn't do much but expect her to look like a supermodel and turn him on every time.
 
Then she has every right to refuse him to have sex with another woman. Why did she accept the deal ?


Well, this is not gonna solve the problem. Not allowing him to have sex with other women is like saying that 'if I cannot play with that ball than neither do you'.
 
I wonder why she abandoned the idea of having sex with him. Why women turn down their husbands ? Are they bored ? wanna try something new ? Or they don't like it anymore ? Or he just doesn't do much but expect her to look like a supermodel and turn him on every time.
The impression I have is that most women need less sex activity than most men. Maybe I'm wrong but what is the average masturbation frequency for most women and men ?
Because I don't hold the truth about others let me tell you about me.
I have discussed this matter with my wife and she says she's happy with our sex activity. We've been together for 14 years and last year we used 5 packs of 12 condoms and we have 3 condoms remaining which means we had sex 57 times. I'll add a couple of times where we had sex without penetration (she had her period). I usually make her cum twice and she makes me cum once.

During the year I wasn't around during a month and she said she masturbated twice during that period, we're very open about that, she knows when I masturbate. I masturbated more than 150 times during this year (average of 3 times a week) and had sex 36 times with other women (I finished my 3rd pack of 12 condoms last month).

If we do the math I was involved in 96% of the times she had sex and she was involved of 24% of the times I had sex, 14,7% were with other women and the rest was with myself. Do you think it's fair ? And she wouldn't argue with that and she admits I take care of her better than she takes care of me but she doesn't allow me to do anything with other women so I don't tell her. I have never refused having sex with her, even today when I wasn't in the mood because I was stressed about preparing my luggage for my travel to Japan (I'm leaving home 3 hours from now).
 
Well, this is not gonna solve the problem. Not allowing him to have sex with other women is like saying that 'if I cannot play with that ball than neither do you'.
What I said is that she can refuse to let other women touch that ball if she's gonna be playing with it all the time. If she doesn't want to play then she should accept others to play with it.

it's like a contract of exclusive provider that is broken by the refusal to provide.
 
it's like a contract of exclusive provider that is broken by the refusal to provide.

Well, it's not. Because she didn't refuse to provide but just didn't provide as much as was requested. So only in the case where there was a specific amount mentioned in the agreement there is a breech of contract.

On the other hand if it was exclusive contract then getting provided by someone else is breaking the contract.

I'm not saying I think it's fair. Because it's not. I am saying you should stop trying to justify your actions and agree it's against what the society thinks is allowed. Because only after that you can say fuck you society, I don't care about your rules.
 
Well, it's not. Because she didn't refuse to provide but just didn't provide as much as was requested. So only in the case where there was a specific amount mentioned in the agreement there is a breech of contract.

On the other hand if it was exclusive contract then getting provided by someone else is breaking the contract.

I'm not saying I think it's fair. Because it's not. I am saying you should stop trying to justify your actions and agree it's against what the society thinks is allowed. Because only after that you can say fuck you society, I don't care about your rules.
Well I said that If she's willing to provide then she has every right to want him to stick with the exclusivity clause of the contract.
But maybe you skipped that part.

PS: I don't need to justify my action, not here :D
 
I'm not saying I think it's fair. Because it's not. I am saying you should stop trying to justify your actions and agree it's against what the society thinks is allowed. Because only after that you can say fuck you society, I don't care about your rules.
Society and the relationship are also two different things though.
You can be in an open relationship where both partners are very content and dont mind their partner having sex with other people, and society could still think its not ok.
 
It's this reluctance that you are talking about that I don't understand. I mean, it's not okay both ways, why ? She gave him permission because they are together for more than ten years and even if they still have great sex, there is always for a man a need to 'try' another woman. and I also talked to a lot of other married women who understand their husband's desires and find it ok to let him try as long as it's not a threat to their marriage.
However, it still doesn't go both ways.

I agree when you said that the woman should be upfront about what she wants. But she might be true to herself and doesn't want it. And that might change in a couple of years, I don't think it's a deal for life.

Maybe I didn't make this clear enough. I have so far been contend with what I got and not asked to play outside .
If she offers me ... very kind of her,but why do I have to offer the same back? If I request it then I agree that I have to be prepared for the same request back.

There are probably tons of reasons, why couples make such agreementshort and with some (more variety ) it seems natural to go both ways while in others (different sexual appetite ) it might not be that natural.

In the end it is up to the couple. What happens if she denies it to him? What are her consequences if he denies it to her?

The woman in question is not bad, strange, whatsoever neither for allowing it nor for requesting the same, but it's a puzzle for the two involved to solve.

Everything depends on the people and the circumstances. Even if I'm not fond of the idea in general, I could probably agree to it if my girl was into SM play. I don't think I'm open to all plays in that area.
 
Well I said that If she's willing to provide then she has every right to want him to stick with the exclusivity clause of the contract.
But maybe you skipped that part.

Maybe I was mixing the original situation with yours. Small phone, old eyes and all such.

But I understood you had exclusive contract, she's still providing, and haven't given you the permission. Sorry for the confusion caused.

But even if another partner gives the permission is it because they see no other option, or do they just not care anymore? I would think most people who are not into group sex don't really want to share their partner with others.
 
But even if another partner gives the permission is it because they see no other option, or do they just not care anymore? I would think most people who are not into group sex don't really want to share their partner with others.
I think the same.
 
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