Guest viewing is limited

Where am I lacking in Online dating?

Beginner

Beginner

TAG Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2018
Messages
40
Reaction score
35
I have been using tinder and pairs for a while. Created profile with decent images showing face (sharp facial features and tanned skin tone) and dressed well. In description I wrote about calm and easygoing personality, languages I can speak(My Japanese is close to native level), hobbies in polite Japanese.

On pairs I get around 400 visitors every week on my profile. Initial I got some matches but when I sent 初めまして/short intro/宜しくお願いしますalmost all of them unmatched. So I stopped doing that. After that I got 20+ and 10+ matches on tinder and pairs respectively but as they notice the match they unmatched. Where am I lacking here? Is it presentation or my looks? Or something else?
 
Last edited:
Beginner said:
I have been using tinder and pairs for a while. Created profile with decent images showing face (sharp facial features and tanned skin tone) and dressed well. In description I wrote about calm and easygoing personality, languages I can speak(My Japanese is close to native level), hobbies in polite Japanese.

On pairs I get around 400 visitors every week on my profile. Initial I got some matches but when I sent 初めまして/short intro/宜しくお願いしますalmost all of them unmatched. So I stopped doing that. After that I got 20+ and 10+ matches on tinder and pairs respectively but as they notice the match they unmatched. Where am I lacking here? Is it presentation or my looks? Or something else?
Click to expand...

Welcome to Japan. I think some just swipe which ever way. Unmatch or ghost as needed. It's a normal thing here. I quit using dating apps a few years ago.
 
Maybe calm and easygoing isn't what these females are after. As for hobbies, females definitely don't give a crap about that unless it involves them getting something out of it. So if your hobby for example was trying out the hottest restaurants, they could picture themselves getting something out of that. If you're playing video games, not so much.

Plus these are the times of the great coronavirus scourge and you're foreign. So there's that working against you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: animal131 and darkniteangel
You’d think you greet first then continue discussion right? Nope. They think that’s a sign of you being passive and just ghost. I send an unnecessarily long introduction on my first text which seems to yield better response. Try that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: hamsap and Lasagna
I don't even speak japanese well and don't have much problem. I'm not even that attractive either imo. Maybe work on more interesting openings? I've never once sent just a generic opener. Also it seems to actually work better when I have more english than japanese in my bio. Just a little japanese first then english the rest
 
Cause an attractive woman gets 50 mails a day that say the exact same thing so replying becomes a hassle for them. Try something funny or unique and don't be too formal.

Try to avoid talking about work (boring) and don't turn it into an interview.

You got this.

Edit: if they ALL unmatch you then you probably wrote something offensive in your profile..
 
  • Like
Reactions: Frenchy
I find tinder pretty successful, match a bunch, some reply some don’t. Managed to get a few hookups from it. I feel I always have more success when I don’t use Japanese even though my Japanese is terrible so It’s easy to avoid using also I never try to have a long conversation just straight hello, thanks for matching with me, would you like to go for a drink
 
Beginner said:
I have been using tinder and pairs for a while. Created profile with decent images showing face (sharp facial features and tanned skin tone) and dressed well. In description I wrote about calm and easygoing personality, languages I can speak(My Japanese is close to native level), hobbies in polite Japanese.

On pairs I get around 400 visitors every week on my profile. Initial I got some matches but when I sent 初めまして/short intro/宜しくお願いしますalmost all of them unmatched. So I stopped doing that. After that I got 20+ and 10+ matches on tinder and pairs respectively but as they notice the match they unmatched. Where am I lacking here? Is it presentation or my looks? Or something else?
Click to expand...


I think its common for Japanese men to cat fish women. I was asked many times if I am Japanese. Do don't use any Japanese or say you know Japanese unless she ask. Some girls are looking for locals and some are looking for guys who are here for a couple days.
As far as presentation.. we don't know how you look or what you are conveying in the picture. When you get a match, just say after work lets meet for coffee. The longer you talk the faster she is match another guy.
 
animal131 said:
I think its common for Japanese men to cat fish women. I was asked many times if I am Japanese. Do don't use any Japanese or say you know Japanese unless she ask. Some girls are looking for locals and some are looking for guys who are here for a couple days.
As far as presentation.. we don't know how you look or what you are conveying in the picture. When you get a match, just say after work lets meet for coffee. The longer you talk the faster she is match another guy.
Click to expand...

A woman asked me if I was japanese after I send her a pic of my cocktail wiener. Feels bad man
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fifty Fifty, shadowboxer and animal131
You must log in or register to reply here.