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Which Do You Prefer: Long Term Relationship Or P4p?

majimekun said:
That's another reason why MTRs are better.
When sex disappears, leave her and find someone else for another MTR.
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But it often happens that LTRs with little, no or poor sex give a person more happiness and satisfaction than MTRs with GREAT sex. Imo, you wanna have both in your life.

-Ww
 
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I'm normally such a social introvert that I can not stand to be around the same person for more than a three days. In my experiences, the most successful relationships I've had were where we only saw one another on the weekends due to conflicting work schedules and distance. LTRs have always been somewhat difficult for me in finding understanding people due to that aspect of my personality since it takes someone mature enough to understand and how I like to chase after the younger girls haha

I find p4p to be largely therapeutic as the providers aren't in my normal social circles so I can be more candid about things that I wouldn't normally share to my friends. Granted I don't have anything I would need to see a professional about. I think a provider acts as a therapist much the same way a bartender does, except I'm fairly certain I'll get to sleep with the provider. ;)
 
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P4P only.

It's been about 5 or 6 years since I've had free sex and about 10 years since I've had a relationship. I can't imagine having sex with a girl without paying anymore. I'm not sure I could handle it. All kinds of mushy emotions and whatnot. :eek:

Also, I'd feel obligated to make sure that she had a good time. Don't get me wrong, I prefer for escorts to enjoy themselves too, but it's not a huge priority.
 
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Old thread, but I wanted to weigh in.

I'm in an LTR at the moment that I've been given the blessing to explore sexually as long as she doesn't find out, and as long as she still gets her daily dick at home. We have great sex, and I'm lucky to have found someone willing to explore a lot of kinks and fetishes. A big part of it is to be open and comfortable to your girl with what you enjoy. If it doesn't work for her, or isn't curious herself, she can move on. On the plus side, being sexually open yourself makes her feel that she won't be judged or slut-labeled if she wants to do some exploring herself.

Granted an LTR has much more variables than just "great sex". Similar interests, philosophies on life, and most importantly having eachothers back. Otherwise, you're just shacking up with a fuck buddy, imo.

While sex is great at home for me, I honestly do like spending time with other women, and P4P is a great way to see other women without the extra drama. I always love the pre-game jitters I get when I'm about to open the door to see the women I'll be spending time with for the next hour or so. I've also been reading a bit about the Coolidge Effect in males, as it does seem that my sex drive is pretty high in general when I'm seeing multiple women.

@Mischa Maxwell had a great post about this in another thread, and theorized that the perfect number of women for men to see at a time is three. I'm starting to believe this theory myself. I'd say an arrangement like this is ideal for myself: LTR, two regular P4P providers, and the monthly one off with a new provider (or that random 3P with girls in maid costumes (y)).
 
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Definitely LTR, with a supplement of P4P occasionally. Sometimes the girlfriend/wife doesn't wanna do something for whatever reason, so go grab a professional to fulfill that itch you may have. ;)
 
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Specifically when in LTR, P4P with the right providers can be indeed quite fulfilling. Most married mongers cannot be satisfied only with sex. They want a connection and feeling attractive.
I do feel good P4P much more stabilizing than an affair.
With a great p4p session, you can go back home and feel very relaxed, mentally focused to be a good husband and father.
Within an affair, it's a serious mess. You have to handle much more craps, spending your time texting your lover, thinking about her when you're with your family.
You are increasing the risk to get busted but much worse your attention doesn't go to your family. If you are on the leaving path it could be ok, otherwise you're making your life really complicated and stressful.
Rather, I do feel that some providers makes me a better husband and dad.
 
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From what I read here, P4P, for you guys, often goes in hand with lying to your partner ... and I find it appealing/disgusting to say the least. Nothing against P4P itself but why the lies/secrets?

To me, people who lie to their partners are assholes. That's it.

If you are in a LTR, you're supposed to love/respect your partner ... which means not lying to her/him.

Can't you guys do P4P whitout resorting to lies?

Some of you enjoy good daily sex from your lover but despite that you need to do it also with providers for some reasons that I find really disturbing. In Japanese you'd be called a fucking WAGAMAMA.

No wonder why most women think men are all liars.
 
majimekun said:
In Japanese you'd be called a fucking WAGAMAMA.
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Actually no. Thats not how that word is used. To say nothing of the Japanese cultural practice of turning a blind eye to things which may not be "pure" but serve to keep overall harmony.

There are a few other choice things I could say in reply to your comment in general but I'll stop here.
 
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majimekun said:
From what I read here, P4P, for you guys, often goes in hand with lying to your partner ... and I find it appealing/disgusting to say the least. Nothing against P4P itself but why the lies/secrets?

To me, people who lie to their partners are assholes. That's it.

If you are in a LTR, you're supposed to love/respect your partner ... which means not lying to her/him.

Can't you guys do P4P whitout resorting to lies?

Some of you enjoy good daily sex from your lover but despite that you need to do it also with providers for some reasons that I find really disturbing. In Japanese you'd be called a fucking WAGAMAMA.

No wonder why most women think men are all liars.
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Quite a few assumptions you're making here. Especially in Japan, with a thriving sex industry, it's not like women are oblivious that their partners are likely using some type of P4P. However, there's a huge difference between lying and not telling. Most women, if they're okay with it, prefer not to know. Don't ask, don't tell is a big part of the culture here, especially when it comes to P4P.

Of course, it comes to an individual girl basis. If a girl doesn't want you P4P'ing, then of course that's something you work out with your partner.
 
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Wwanderer said:
A combination of both (plus other types of connections with women) is FAR better than either alone imo. It is the same in many other areas of life for me; a rich variety of good things greatly exceeds sticking solely to a single "best" thing.

As an aside, I'd say that LTRs are quite different depending on how long one means. Twenty years is quite different from ten, and 40 years very different from 20 etc.

-Ww
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Nor surprisingly, I totally agree with Wv... Am in an LTR since 40 years, and have had 1000+ (still counting...) P4P encounters during those years... No regrets...
 
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Always better when you're with someone who wants you as much as you want them. But variety amps things up for me, and that's where p4p comes in.
 
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