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In fact we are very happy.
And I am glad to hear that.
In fact we are very happy.
Don't you ever stop to think that just MAYBE, just MAYBE... some Japanese women marry westerners because they want a different life than what they grew up with. And by marrying a non-Japanese, this gives them a better opportunity to have that new life and see more of what variety of the western world has to offer.
I just don't see this happening my social circles where there is a mixed couple. I know it does happen though...You're absolutely right. But that doesn't prevent some of those "some" to become ice-cold bitchy entitled queens once they get the ring or later, after kids are born. I don't mean that "all" of the "some" are like this though.
You're absolutely right. But that doesn't prevent some of those "some" to become ice-cold bitchy entitled queens once they get the ring or later, after kids are born. I don't mean that "all" of the "some" are like this though.
Yeah, I don't see this happening very much.But you also have to consider that there are those Japanese that marry foreigners because they are attracted to the differences, but once married they expect their foreign partner to be Japanese.
That's a shame... bad judgement on many levels then.Nearly all the married foreigners I met when I came to Japan 16 years ago are now divorced, and that includes those who said their wife was different because she had lived outside Japan.
Agreed!And that only happens to Japanese women? I could have sworn I heard that same story from other parts of the world as well
Yeah, I don't see this happening very much.
That's a shame... bad judgement on many levels then.
you can't generalize, there are many kind of western women and many kind of japanese women.It's fine to live in the moment.
I am just saying that it is some thing to be aware of, as I have seen it far too often and most foreigners do not want to accept
that Japanese woman have different views/values about marriage than western women.
I don't expect anyone close to you to be attracted by France seeing how you always complain about your country.Very true , but to be fair mine was never much attracted by my country to start with. She wanted an American dude, too bad, she got none and I ended up with an American GF (Alas in a LDR)
marriage can turn out badly regardless of the citizenship of you partner.Please do not make assumptions about my marriage based on my posts, I am only discussing what can happen if some one is not aware of the possibilities of how a marriage can turn out with a Japanese partner, as there are cultural differences at play that would not be experienced in a marriage with a western partner.
In fact we are very happy.
Ah ah , true. Hence I live in Japan. But there was another French guy here (forgot the user name) who was even more anti-French than me. He sounded a bit like Trump talking about Chicago.I don't expect anyone close to you to be attracted by France seeing how you always complain about your country.
you can't generalize, there are many kind of western women and many kind of japanese women.
marriage can turn out badly regardless of the citizenship of you partner.
I am not generalizing, I am just saying that while there are different kinds of Japanese women and western women, both follow different cultures and hold different values based on their culture, but ignoring these cultural differences is where most make the mistake.
I am not talking about citzenship, I am talking about culture, like you said Valentines day and white day are not part of the Japanese culture, its some thing they borrowed from western culture and adapted to suit their way of thinking, the same as the love marriage concept.
Yes, of course. Should have added some words about that too. And men are not perfect either of course , we also get less considerate or patient after marriage and kids, point taken. "L'amour dure 3 ans" as we say in my dialect...And that only happens to Japanese women? I could have sworn I heard that same story from other parts of the world as well
The love marriage concept is in danger everywhere , to be honest. Divorce rates are high and still rising in most developed countries now (countries who supposedly have more "love marriages" than in more traditional cultures where they are still arranged between families - not that I think this is better). I'm sure future generations will invent some kind of interpersonal contracts which still allow for co-parenting but with less Disney happily ever after fluff and less monogamous requirements .
From my experiences going to bars, I think a lot of Japanese girls that hang out at these "foreigner-friendly" places will have the attitude where they're positive towards foreigners but I think the reason that most of the Foreigner-Japanese marriages fall apart is lack of clear communication. If you both don't speak your mind, and you don't do it when a problem presents itself, then theres gonna be problems down the road. If you both speak different languages, then its harder than normal. That's all. Relationships are hard cause we all have to take care of family.
I've been married to a Japanese woman for more than a dozen years and the cultural differences is not a issue. culture is not concerned when it's about common sense.I am not generalizing, I am just saying that while there are different kinds of Japanese women and western women, both follow different cultures and hold different values based on their culture, but ignoring these cultural differences is where most make the mistake.
you can replace "citizenship" with "culture" in my sentence. divorce also exist between people coming from the same background. I even know of married cousins who divorced.I am not talking about citzenship, I am talking about culture, like you said Valentines day and white day are not part of the Japanese culture, its some thing they borrowed from western culture and adapted to suit their way of thinking, the same as the love marriage concept.
I wish you both to find inner peaceAh ah , true. Hence I live in Japan. But there was another French guy here (forgot the user name) who was even more anti-French than me. He sounded a bit like Trump talking about Chicago.
I've been married to a Japanese woman for more than a dozen years and the cultural differences is not a issue. culture is not concerned when it's about common sense.
what could cause problems would be the lack of open mind rather than the difference itself.
most importantly I wouldn't take culture for an excuse for that cause that's not a cultural thing.So based on your common sense views within your marriage how would you over come a situation were your wife would sleep with the children?
most importantly I wouldn't take culture for an excuse for that cause that's not a cultural thing.
ps : "my" common sense would tell me that it means she doesn't want to sleep with me and I'd react depending on how motivated I am to fix that. Maybe I won't want her to sleep with me either and I'll adapt or leave.
I feel sorry for thatAs I thought I am wasting my time.
I feel sorry for that