Why are there so many trashy people at cafes in Japan?

TokyoJoeblow

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Ok, so I often teach private English lessons at Hoshino cafe because it has private rooms where it is quiet and easy for my students to focus on learning without a lot of external noise.

I have this situation that keeps repeating and for the life of me, I can't figure out why it keeps happening. I will be walking to the private room where my students are waiting for me and as I'm passing by a table where a young Japanese couple is sitting (man and woman) or sometimes two Japanese women and they will bust up laughing at they both notice me walking by. The laugh does NOT sound friendly at all. It sounds really fucked up and evil.

Since I'm not an evil retard, I never look at people and just start busting up laughing. I literally never do that because it is RUDE.

As always, people on here will just say: "Oh they were just laughing at something else at the time." No, because often these people will be having a conversation where they are not laughing or even smiling at all, then they will both see me and make eye contact with me then each other, then were is some awkward pause (I never stare, just a brief glance and usually I don't even make eye contact with these people at all) and they will suddenly both bust up laughing...more like cackling. The sound of it is so annoying, it makes me want to bash their heads with a coffee mug, but I usually just ignore it since it happens so often.

Seriously, what the fuck is this situation about? No, I don't think they are nervous and that is what the evil laughter is from. No, I don't think they think I'm ugly because I have done modeling in the US and China before. I'm muscular and healthy too, but the laugh doesn't have a "this guy is hot, he is making me nervous" kind of laugh.

Anyway, I already have rage issues due to being molested as a child and dealing with retarded assholes like this all the time is really starting to get to me. Yes, I have an outlet, but it seems that I need multiple outlets since my rage and hatred is so strong.

Today, I actually confronted the people and asked what is so fucking funny? Of course, crickets and they quickly left the cafe. The man tried mad dogging me and I gave him the stare of a killer and I could see the fear in his eyes.
 
First off, I apologize for posting this in the Q&A section, as it should have been posted here.

Ok, so I often teach private English lessons at Hoshino cafe because it has private rooms where it is quiet and easy for my students to focus on learning without a lot of external noise.

I have this situation that keeps repeating and for the life of me, I can't figure out why it keeps happening. I will be walking to the private room where my students are waiting for me and as I'm passing by a table where a young Japanese couple is sitting (man and woman) or sometimes two Japanese women and they will bust up laughing at they both notice me walking by. The laugh does NOT sound friendly at all. It sounds really fucked up and evil.

Since I'm not an evil retard, I never look at people and just start busting up laughing. I literally never do that because it is RUDE.

As always, people on here will just say: "Oh they were just laughing at something else at the time." No, because often these people will be having a conversation where they are not laughing or even smiling at all, then they will both see me and make eye contact with me then each other, then were is some awkward pause (I never stare, just a brief glance and usually I don't even make eye contact with these people at all) and they will suddenly both bust up laughing...more like cackling. The sound of it is so annoying, it makes me want to bash their heads with a coffee mug, but I usually just ignore it since it happens so often.

Seriously, what the fuck is this situation about? No, I don't think they are nervous and that is what the evil laughter is from. No, I don't think they think I'm ugly because I have done modeling in the US and China before. I'm muscular and healthy too, but the laugh doesn't have a "this guy is hot, he is making me nervous" kind of vibe.

Anyway, I already have rage issues due to being molested as a child and dealing with retarded assholes like this all the time is really starting to get to me. Yes, I have an outlet, but it seems that I need multiple outlets since my rage and hatred is so strong.

Today, I actually confronted the people and asked what is so fucking funny? Of course, crickets and they quickly left the cafe. The man tried mad dogging me and I gave him the stare of a killer and I could see the fear in his eyes.

But seriously...why do people do these evil laughs at strangers?
 
I think this is an appropriate time to remind you of that old saw about running into assholes.

If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day long, you’re the asshole.

Seriously, TJB, I’ve been in Japan since before you were born, and nothing like what you described has happened to me so much at once.
 
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It's really annoying but yeah, this happens sometimes in Japan. I seriously wish I could understand why. It could be for a number of reasons but I'm sure it goes without saying that you're not the only one who experiences this. I had this happen recently at Starbucks. I look pretty normal (I'm not bad looking at all) and I walked into a Starbucks in Kanagawa somewhere. There was a couple at the table and as soon I walked by them to sit a couple tables next to them and they both began whispering something and then I overheard their conversation which is about not being able to understand English. The cackling sounds really fucking annoying, though. I had it happen at 7-11 recently with two young girls.. Maybe they thought I was cute or maybe they were just laughing at the fact that there was a foreigner in front of them.. There was also another time I was on the train. There was a Japanese couple next to me and I don't think they realized I was a foreigner (I wasn't really facing them) and some white dude with a big red beard walked in. The guy kept "jokingly" pushing his girlfriend toward the white guy and she kept saying "Stop! He's scary!" etc. I seriously wanted to beat the shit out of both of them.

Today, I actually confronted the people and asked what is so fucking funny? Of course, crickets and they quickly left the cafe. The man tried mad dogging me and I gave him the stare of a killer and I could see the fear in his eyes.

This is so Japan.
 
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Was at one of the outside flea markets last year. While I was examining a small trinkets, I guess I was invading the space of the elderly woman owner and another old woman's conversation. I know their conversation changed as I know I heard "gaijin" thrown in a few times as they glanced my way....
 
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Guys, if you aren't actually trolling, please try to make an appointment with a mental health expert before you do something stupid. This stuff is all in your head.

I fucking told people not to comment if all you are going to say is this same stupid bullshit. No, it isn't all in my head. You must not understand just how evil some people are. Some people are evil enough to laugh at and make fun of complete strangers...because they are EVIL.
 
Like I said in the other post, there are people in this world that are really evil...yes evil enough to laugh at and make fun of complete strangers because they are EVIL!

P.S. Alex and Unicornhunter have experienced things like this from Japanese people, so it isn't just "all in my head" or "just all in our heads".

The idea that people never ever gossip or laugh at strangers is fucking absurd!
 
People laugh and gossip about others all the time I don’t think it makes them “evil”. it’s probably worth focusing on how to manage your intense emotions when in situations similar to this.

Well, I find it to be at least kind of evil. It definitely isn't good.
 
Alex and Unicornhunter have experienced things like this from Japanese people

Let's examine that, shall we?


Was at one of the outside flea markets last year. While I was examining a small trinkets, I guess I was invading the space of the elderly woman owner and another old woman's conversation. I know their conversation changed as I know I heard "gaijin" thrown in a few times as they glanced my way....

Unicorn's tale is completely different to what TJB describes, and totally normal - when a gaijin walks into a room, a lot of the time some people are going to comment on it. Unicorn clearly understood that there wasn't anything evil going on, just people talkin' bout the gaijin in front of them.

It's really annoying but yeah, this happens sometimes in Japan. I seriously wish I could understand why. It could be for a number of reasons but I'm sure it goes without saying that you're not the only one who experiences this. I had this happen recently at Starbucks. I look pretty normal (I'm not bad looking at all) and I walked into a Starbucks in Kanagawa somewhere. There was a couple at the table and as soon I walked by them to sit a couple tables next to them and they both began whispering something and then I overheard their conversation which is about not being able to understand English. The cackling sounds really fucking annoying, though. I had it happen at 7-11 recently with two young girls.. Maybe they thought I was cute or maybe they were just laughing at the fact that there was a foreigner in front of them.. There was also another time I was on the train. There was a Japanese couple next to me and I don't think they realized I was a foreigner (I wasn't really facing them) and some white dude with a big red beard walked in. The guy kept "jokingly" pushing his girlfriend toward the white guy and she kept saying "Stop! He's scary!" etc. I seriously wanted to beat the shit out of both of them.

Pretty much the same thing here... it's not unusual for conversations to turn to foreign language when a foreigner walks into a place, people sitting and chatting in a coffee shop tend to talk about the things that happen in front of them, or for a couple of schoolgirls to get giggly. The last one sounds more like the guy was trying to get the girl to talk to the foreign guy, probably to try out her English. annoying but not malevolent.

None of those are the same as what you describe:
I will be walking to the private room where my students are waiting for me and as I'm passing by a table where a young Japanese couple is sitting (man and woman) or sometimes two Japanese women and they will bust up laughing at they both notice me walking by. The laugh does NOT sound friendly at all. It sounds really fucked up and evil.

Seriously, TJB, that sounds paranoid and delusional.

You've had a fair few people on these forums suggest that you might benefit from counseling or therapy... there are therapists that will do sessions via Skype. There's a directory of decent people here.
 
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I believe every emotion can be reduced to fear, and fear is the reaction when you encounter something new, something unusual, something different or even something exciting or something overly fantastic. Fear inside yourself can be appeared as any emotion, including laughter - so did the people around you when they saw you walking by. I understand that you felt ridiculed, belittled or even violated, but their action was likely to be of their raw emotional reaction (i.e fear) and judgement-free even though it looked rude on surface.
 
People can comment whatever they fuck want, who are you to tell them not no?!?! it seems there is nobody driving in that head of yours.

With this being said, I also think is all in your head and even if it wasn't, I don't really get why you give the tiniest fuck.
 
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As a minority growing up in predominantly white neighborhoods in America, I would be happy to get a laugh rather than some of the rude comments or gestures people made. Didn’t make me happy, but never thought of anyone as evil. Maybe ignorant but not evil.

I would say just mellow out. People comment and might laugh at things that are different. Gaijin are different in Japan. To say people are evil is taking it a bit too far.

It goes both ways. I’ve seen plenty of Japanese go out of their way to help a gaijin. Besides, if you weren’t gaijin you wouldn’t be getting as action as you do.
 
**yawn**
Not again!
Dude, face up to the fact that you are the problem and seek a remedy.
Most well rounded people never have shit like this happen, or if something does happen they laugh about it, and move on.

Admit you’ve got a problem and seek help, there is no shame in it.
I’m about to board a flight, and I have an anxiety issue with flying. So I pop a pill, and you know what, I’m back in the world of normal.
 
Unfortunately being stared at/laughed at often is just part of being a foreigner in Japan. There will be times it is a coincidence and times it's related to you.

I know it sucks to feel like the butt of someone's joke but I would take a moment to consider why it triggers such intense rage? You mention childhood trauma magnifies your reaction.

Trauma is serious but I dont think you should use it as a justification for your behavior. It is your choice to continue living a life of pain and anger, and to allow such minor things to disrupt your day.

As the above commenter mentioned, I do think seeking professional help would allow you to live more of a peaceful life. I'm sure you dont enjoy spending so much time stewing in negative emotions. I hope that in the future you can work towards growing a tolerance for these sorts of things so that you can enjoy a happier existence.
 
If this is even real, I have better priorities to worry about than listening to other people's conversations and concerning myself with who's laughing at what.

If it's indeed a real thing, then I've never noticed or cared because I have better things to worry about enjoy in life. :meh:
 
Guys, if you aren't actually trolling, please try to make an appointment with a mental health expert before you do something stupid. This stuff is all in your head.

Haha, no. I don't think it's in our heads. Of course we shouldn't be lashing out at people but yeah, some people are just immature and will laugh at random people. The guy pushing his girlfriend into a random foreigner on the train wasn't "in my head". These things just happen. I was just confirming with the OP that he's not the only one being laughed or (indirectly) mocked. It happens to a lot of us and we all deal with it differently. I can't say it's something I experience often and it often doesn't bother me... but it might bother others quite a bit, I suppose.
 
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Let's examine that, shall we?




Unicorn's tale is completely different to what TJB describes, and totally normal - when a gaijin walks into a room, a lot of the time some people are going to comment on it. Unicorn clearly understood that there wasn't anything evil going on, just people talkin' bout the gaijin in front of them.



Pretty much the same thing here... it's not unusual for conversations to turn to foreign language when a foreigner walks into a place, people sitting and chatting in a coffee shop tend to talk about the things that happen in front of them, or for a couple of schoolgirls to get giggly. The last one sounds more like the guy was trying to get the girl to talk to the foreign guy, probably to try out her English. annoying but not malevolent.

None of those are the same as what you describe:


Seriously, TJB, that sounds paranoid and delusional.

You've had a fair few people on these forums suggest that you might benefit from counseling or therapy... there are therapists that will do sessions via Skype. There's a directory of decent people here.

Once again, if you believe some rude people will gossip about strangers and yet never laugh at them/make fun of them, then that is your delusion. People are worse than you think. In your mind, maybe people aren't as bad as they are in real life because your mind filters reality.
 
People can comment whatever they fuck want, who are you to tell them not no?!?! it seems there is nobody driving in that head of yours.

With this being said, I also think is all in your head and even if it wasn't, I don't really get why you give the tiniest fuck.

I was looking for intelligent responses which I got from Unicornhunter and Alex. I have received these types of comments in the past when I posted on a topic like this. I give a fuck because I don't like to just roll over and let rude ass people walk all over me in public.
 
I believe every emotion can be reduced to fear, and fear is the reaction when you encounter something new, something unusual, something different or even something exciting or something overly fantastic. Fear inside yourself can be appeared as any emotion, including laughter - so did the people around you when they saw you walking by. I understand that you felt ridiculed, belittled or even violated, but their action was likely to be of their raw emotional reaction (i.e fear) and judgement-free even though it looked rude on surface.

So this means tons of Japanese people are complete cowards, because I experience this almost every time I go to cafes to teach private lessons.