Why women always describe themselves as cute/attractive on dating sites?

[majimekun]

I find it so odd.
Especially on JapanCupid, where you can select that option on your profile.
Every single profile has "attractive" instead of just "average".
What the hell is going on in their mind?

 

[SatoKM]

I find it so odd.
Especially on JapanCupid, where you can select that option on your profile.
Every single profile has "attractive" instead of just "average".
What the hell is going on in their mind?

Nothing is wrong with their mind. We as humans tend to exaggerate and lie about many things.

There is no way, someone who is try to promote or sell something will say: "average woman looking for romance, some mental issues included!", "overweight drama queen", "old lady with 4 kids looking for a sugar daddy"

 

[majimekun]

I always check "Average" on my profiles.
Maybe I'm not human.

 

[Simonka]

There is no way, someone who is try to promote or sell something will say: "average woman looking for romance, some mental issues included!", "overweight drama queen", "old lady with 4 kids looking for a sugar daddy"

That’s right. There’s no way I’m going to tell people I’m a butterface with decent makeup skills and a weird sense of humor coupled with some cat fur on my coat.

 

[AMcguyver]

That’s right. There’s no way I’m going to tell people I’m a butterface with decent makeup skills and a weird sense of humor coupled with some cat fur on my coat.

You just did.

And nothing wrong with that either. Pretty sure you’d still bring in the clients. Maybe even more cat people

 

[AMcguyver]

I find it so odd.
Especially on JapanCupid, where you can select that option on your profile.
Every single profile has "attractive" instead of just "average".
What the hell is going on in their mind?

It’s called “Marketing”.

 

[oLUXo]

I like speed dating! No interruptions except for a bell and if you click with someone, get their info and set up a real date later. Screw the online crap where you don't even know if it's their real picture. For all you know, you could be falling in love with a guy pretending to be a girl.

 

[MikeH]

For all you know, you could be falling in love with a guy pretending to be a girl.

No reason to be that picky. Donki sells big bottles of lube for cheap.

 

[Durg50]

I find it so odd.
Especially on JapanCupid, where you can select that option on your profile.
Every single profile has "attractive" instead of just "average".
What the hell is going on in their mind?

give them a break, I imagine signing up to Japan Cupid is depressing enough as it is, without then having to self-appraise as 'average'.

 

[namae]

I always check "Average" on my profiles.
Maybe I'm not human.

"Average". Maybe your over-selling yourself? Marketing.

 

[MossBoss]

Every single profile has "attractive" instead of just "average".

People have various opinions on what constitutes ‘attractive’. If the woman turns out to be a hound, pay for her coffee and move on.

It is a better scenario than escort agencies who photoshop pics and knock 20 years off the age of their ‘girls’.

 

[Lasagna]

Only westernized girls and gaijin hunters describe themselves as attractive or very attractive. Traditional jwomen are modest and most wouldn't do that (definetely not very attractive)

There are a few exceptions and it's not a dealbreaker at all, but for me its a red flag when I see 'very attractive'.

There's nothing more sexy than an attractive woman who's modest

I've read a lot of profiles of jguys to get inspiration for my own profile and I noticed they too are humble and describe themselves as average. So when in Rome do as the Romans do.

 

[designer08]

People have various opinions on what constitutes ‘attractive’. If the woman turns out to be a hound, pay for her coffee and move on.

It is a better scenario than escort agencies who photoshop pics and knock 20 years off the age of their ‘girls’.

I agree it's all speculative about what people find attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I find nothing wrong with someone waking up, thinking they are attractive in their mind. Positive attitude = positive mind. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Simonka]

Only westernized girls and gaijin hunters describe themselves as attractive or very attractive. Traditional jwomen are modest and most wouldn't do that (definetely not very attractive)

There are a few exceptions and it's not a dealbreaker at all, but for me its a red flag when I see 'very attractive'.

There's nothing more sexy than an attractive woman who's modest

I've read a lot of profiles of jguys to get inspiration for my own profile and I noticed they too are humble and describe themselves as average. So when in Rome do as the Romans do.

..but how can we make sure it’s genuine modesty and not just part of the “tatemae”?

In modern day, western society values self confidence, being expressive, practicing self-love and body positivity. Japan on the other hand values being in harmony with the rest of the society, therefore being humble and modest is more acceptable. However in the west there are many people who appear to be confident, yet within the limits of their personal space they are struggling with a bunch of insecurities. Same way, there are people in Japan who try not to stick out too much from the crowd, which ensues putting up an act of being a little unsure about themselves.

I am attracted to people who are capable of challenging me with a compelling narrative during a debate in any kind of personal relationship, so when people are lowering themselves way too much it gets a bit boring.

 

[Lasagna]

..but how can we make sure it’s genuine modesty and not just part of the “tatemae”?

You can't really know for sure, but I prefer someone who can read the air instead of someone with an inflated ego because of all the attention they get from thirsty guys and has unrealistic expectations. This sense of entitlement (from mostly western women) really turns me off. I take (fake) modesty over that any day. Japanese are more modest and appreciative.

Also the tatemae kinda grew on me. I used to hate it but now I'm ok with it.

 

[BB0523]

Here is a theory....

Many times guys will tell a woman that she is pretty or even beautiful... If a woman hears this several times a day, then it's very likely she will begin to believe it... because the guys can not come up with anything original to say to the woman... that's my theory... but no scientific evidence to back it up

I've always thought and practiced, if a woman is attractive, then the last thing I would tell her how pretty she is... cuz she hears it all the time... listen to what she says and then compliment her intelligence, or maybe inner beauty if she has that... or her earrings, shoes, etc... it shows you are not just objectifying her for her appearance and requires you to listen and notice things that maybe more important to her and you separate yourself from all the other dudes that say the same boring things to this woman...

If the woman is overly confident in her looks/appearance, then... for me that's a bit of a turn-off honestly... How many women you know that do not have a mirror ? They see themselves everyday, now, many will focus only on their flaws/imperfections, which is where insecurities come into play......so they put on this facade of overly confident.... some call it "Bitch Attitude" but I'm not really found of that term, but it explains what I mean rather quickly and straight forward....

 

[DireWolf98]

I met several J-Girls who told me in their e-mails (not their profile) that they were cute. No pics available. To be honest, they were definitely cute!

However, one girl said, “I’ve been told that I am lovely.” She was disappointingly below average, but not shockingly so.

 

[MossBoss]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I find nothing wrong with someone waking up, thinking they are attractive in their mind. Positive attitude = positive mind. Just my 2 cents.

Unless she is a hound claiming to be Miss World and ripping off mongers of course....

 

[Lukes]

I don't mind it when I read a girl's profile and she describes herself as "attractive" or "cute". To be honest I'd be a bit worried if she didn't say so. I usually zero in on how she's saying that. Simple statements make me think she actually believes that. If it's a paragraph about how she's the most beautiful woman that ever lived, I take that to mean she is in fact Jabba the Hut trolling on internet dating sites.

 

[Lasagna]

Here is a theory....

Many times guys will tell a woman that she is pretty or even beautiful... If a woman hears this several times a day, then it's very likely she will begin to believe it... because the guys can not come up with anything original to say to the woman... that's my theory... but no scientific evidence to back it up

I've always thought and practiced, if a woman is attractive, then the last thing I would tell her how pretty she is... cuz she hears it all the time... listen to what she says and then compliment her intelligence, or maybe inner beauty if she has that... or her earrings, shoes, etc... it shows you are not just objectifying her for her appearance and requires you to listen and notice things that maybe more important to her and you separate yourself from all the other dudes that say the same boring things to this woman...

If the woman is overly confident in her looks/appearance, then... for me that's a bit of a turn-off honestly... How many women you know that do not have a mirror ? They see themselves everyday, now, many will focus only on their flaws/imperfections, which is where insecurities come into play......so they put on this facade of overly confident.... some call it "Bitch Attitude" but I'm not really found of that term, but it explains what I mean rather quickly and straight forward....

Thats not a theory. Its fact

We were raised (with good intentions) to protect and spoil women and put them on a pedestral. We can only blame ourself for the end result.

The funny thing is the more beautiful they are the more insecure they are. As soon as they stop receiving attention and validation no amount of logic or reason can stop the hamster from spinning.

 

[majimekun]

The funny thing is the more beautiful they are the more insecure they are. As soon as they stop receiving attention and validation no amount of logic or reason can stop the hamster from spinning.

Indeed, I've witnessed it quite a lot.

 

[AnotherTag]

It's funny the profiles would have some settings like that. Those are useless properties to have. Everyone judge everyone else with pictures first then some other information. It's not like you can have chit chat with them to find out if you two will click. Online dating is weird like that haha.

 

[just4fun]

Men and most women decide my first glance............it's after you get to really know someone the problems start.........you really need to be open minded but everyone has some line they will not cross.