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Your date went well and you brought her home! What do you do to escalate?

pmajin

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Scenario at hand - your date went well, you're both feelin the vibes, you invite her back to your place or she agrees to ”take a break”. You're behind closed doors now, what steps do you take to escalate?

Understandably this is contextually different depending on the girl you bring back, and I think many would agree that at this point in the date you've basically scored a home run. I'm curious to know how/what you'll do to transition from doorway to the bed ;)
 
Is she at your place?

Oh man, I never bring women to my place. I did that in China and while it usually was OK, there were some psycho Chinese women who I wish never knew where I lived.

If this isn't a psycho, then tell her to have a seat on your comfy couch, put on some music (play something smooth and sensual at a background volume) dim the lights and offer her something to drink. Come back with the drinks in hand, sit on the couch with her, drink and bs with her a little.

If she drinks too damn slow, take the drink out of her hand and put it in the table or down it. Slide your arm around her with confidence and move in for a kiss (don't forget to smile and move your head slow). Fast chicken head bobbing is not sexy and creeps women out lol.

I would say more but I am tired as hell, good luck!
 
sorry for sounding like an asshole but she agreed to go back to your place...isn't that basically her waving a giant billboard saying "PLEASE FUCK ME"
Agreed..

Unless she is a real prude or possiblely a bit crazy, be cool and don’t fuck it up... clean apt and alcohol should help... put her at ease so she doesn’t feel ‘scandalous’
 
sorry for sounding like an asshole but she agreed to go back to your place...isn't that basically her waving a giant billboard saying "PLEASE FUCK ME"

It happened to me quite a few times that girls I brought to my place had no intention of fucking at all. In a couple of cases we did it anyway because sleeping in the same bed led to cuddling, which led to kissing which led to fucking. I remember this one girl whom I spent the night with on New Year's eve, she simply didn't want to be alone on that night and I happened to be there so we went to my place and the sex was strictly perfunctory, like she felt she had to pay me back for the company and for the hospitality, which made me feel pretty terrible when I realized that afterwards.

But I also remember another one who REALLY wanted to spend the night talking. You're gonna say I didn't maneuver skillfully enough and it may be so and it's true that I tend to attract weirdoes but I don't think a girl going to your place automatically implies sex, thank god for that.
 
Or once she's in your apartment and the door closes you turn into one of the mountain men from Deliverance. "Ok girl.....now ya'll just take them panties right on off. You just took the wrong turn".
 
Or once she's in your apartment and the door closes you turn into one of the mountain men from Deliverance. "Ok girl.....now ya'll just take them panties right on off. You just took the wrong turn".

If you go that route make sure you've redecorated your apartment Texas Chainsaw Massacre-style.
 
It happened to me quite a few times that girls I brought to my place had no intention of fucking at all. In a couple of cases we did it anyway because sleeping in the same bed led to cuddling, which led to kissing which led to fucking. I remember this one girl whom I spent the night with on New Year's eve, she simply didn't want to be alone on that night and I happened to be there so we went to my place and the sex was strictly perfunctory, like she felt she had to pay me back for the company and for the hospitality, which made me feel pretty terrible when I realized that afterwards.

But I also remember another one who REALLY wanted to spend the night talking. You're gonna say I didn't maneuver skillfully enough and it may be so and it's true that I tend to attract weirdoes but I don't think a girl going to your place automatically implies sex, thank god for that.

But specifically after a date, you've taken a girl back to your place with no sexual intent? after a date?
 
Hmm... when she's on your sofa, maybe ask her "how much?"
:D (jokes)

My way of doing it would be some nice convo then an explicit "wanna fuck?".
If affirmative, then go with the kissing etc. No sense in playing charades when you don't know if she wants it or not - especially when you are doing the inviting.
(yeah I know people will think it's implied as soon as she steps in, but I've been in the reverse situation being invited into a girl's place at night and not actually wanting sex with her)

Obviously if things were already so obvious in the date with kissing etc, you wouldn't need advice how to take it further at your place.

Btw i dunno how so many guys would brave taking girls back to their (his) own place. Would require a few hours of prep work . also not good if the girl is bsc as TJB said.
 
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But specifically after a date, you've taken a girl back to your place with no sexual intent? after a date?

Well if there's one thing I have learned from dating is that there are no rules. So yes, after a date, fancy restaurant and all, with what I perceived as light-hearted flirting. Personally I saw sex as a distinct possibility, and I can't really speak for her but it seemed to me she had not really considered it. She knew she was going to spend the night at my place because she lived on the other side of town and I don't think she was callous enough to expect me to pay for a cab fare all across Tokyo. I only have a double bed so she also knew that sleeping at my place meant sleeping in the same bed. Maybe she was not attracted to me and at the same time the atmosphere was friendly enough and the conversation interesting enough that she wanted to spend more time with me. We watched a movie together and she was leaning against me the whole time, with her head against my shoulder at some point. I don't claim to understand much about female psychology so make of that what you will.
 
Mind you, we're in Japan, there's really no going back to her place or my place... (not at the dating, getting to know you stage anyway... it's a long road until we visit each other's place..) we just happen to have dinner where there are hotels close by. In this specific Example, Ebisu, which doesn't exactly have the greatest selection.

I kid you not, I told a girl I had been seeing... "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She just smiled, we paid the check and walked directly to a hotel in the area.

I don't know what possessed me to say that... lol.
 
I kid you not, I told a girl I had been seeing... "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She just smiled, we paid the check and walked directly to a hotel in the area.

I don't know what possessed me to say that... lol.

Whaddya mean you don't know? ;)

It's quite obvious that you were suddenly possessed by the spirit of Prince Everhard of the Netherlands.:D
 
First rule being never take a date to your place, second rule being never go to the date's place which leads to the obvious third rule go to a love hotel.

Never met a girl who didn't intend to have sex going in to a hotel. Unfortunately have met couple who changed their decisions after entering so it doesn't always work even with the best of the rules. :confused:
 
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I really dislike love hotels. It's impersonal and there's no stereo to play music.
Also if you're unlucky the room might smell of cold tobacco which ranks pretty low as far as glamourous smells are concerned.
 
I really dislike love hotels. It's impersonal and there's no stereo to play music.
Also if you're unlucky the room might smell of cold tobacco which ranks pretty low as far as glamourous smells are concerned.

All those problems can be removed by going to a better quality hotel. And the idea specifically is it to be impersonal.
 
All those problems can be removed by going to a better quality hotel. And the idea specifically is it to be impersonal.
Agreed. If I know I'm going to lower level hotel, I'll pack my little Bluetooth speaker if we want to have some music from my playlist or streaming service.
 
Mind you, we're in Japan, there's really no going back to her place or my place... (not at the dating, getting to know you stage anyway... it's a long road until we visit each other's place..) we just happen to have dinner where there are hotels close by. In this specific Example, Ebisu, which doesn't exactly have the greatest selection.

I kid you not, I told a girl I had been seeing... "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She just smiled, we paid the check and walked directly to a hotel in the area.

I don't know what possessed me to say that... lol.

The baby batter on the brain possessed you brotha!

It always gets us men lol.

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In my vast experience, if a young lady comes to your apartment after a romantic Italian meal and some fine claret at Saizeria, well then the deal is sealed. It doesnt matter how you 'escalate'.
 
In my vast experience, if a young lady comes to your apartment after a romantic Italian meal and some fine claret at Saizeria, well then the deal is sealed. It doesnt matter how you 'escalate'.

Romantic italian meal at... Saizeria?!!!
Wow, it sounds a bit like romantic french meal at Jonathan... but why not after all, romantic is more about the conversation than the food I guess. :)
 
Romantic italian meal at... Saizeria?!!!
Wow, it sounds a bit like romantic french meal at Jonathan... but why not after all, romantic is more about the conversation than the food I guess. :)

I am actually pretty confident with my conversation skills but with those two dining options I would probably just give up. :p
 
In my vast experience, if a young lady comes to your apartment after a romantic Italian meal and some fine claret at Saizeria, well then the deal is sealed. It doesnt matter how you 'escalate'.

I have a 100% hit rate with saizeria dates. If a girl agrees to go there with you in the first place she has already decided she wants your cock. Its not as if she is using you for a free fancy meal.