Your Favorite Pick-up Lines

[just4fun]

Hi, my name's Heywood. Heywood Jablome.

 

[Sinapse]

If I come up with something like すいません、さっき気づいてステキなスタイルと言うたかった, which is basically just a rough translation of what happens in my french head, it doesn't quite work. Too heavy, strange looking, perhaps too direct. Any advice?

すてき is actually kind of feminine, so probably don't want to go there.

I generally avoid direct compliments about appearance. At the most I would say something like 雰囲気がいい or 魅力的. But most of the time, they know already why you are talking to them and you don't need to say it. Whereas in the West, pickup is pretty context-reliant, meaning that people like to know what's happening and why you're talking to them a little more, in Japan, most women are pretty aware so you don't need to break it down that much for them. Most of the time NOT bringing up the context behind the interaction is fine, and if she's confused about it she might ask you. Instead, just talk to her as if she's already your girlfriend. You can start mid-sentence or mid-story without any introductions at all, and this often has the best effect.

 

[rick]

I feel like I'm mostly on the same vibe as Synapse, anyway I'll be back to Tokyo in one week and there's one thing I've always had issues with, it's the "pick up line". I used to start in Japanese, then I did the last visit all in English. I can see that English worked much better for me but then the vibe just isn't there. Plus that's not really what I want deep inside of me. I'm not very motivated to learn Japanese by the books (even though I'm making small effort, especially I need to replace my girly JP little by little, just feels wrong), but I enjoy talking with random people more than anything so I would like to stick with Japanese.

But other than that I still haven't found my standard, plain way of going to a girl and tell her she's cute, that works. It's probably a matter of vocabulary, but you know in French you won't say a girl she's beautiful, cute, and any equivalent. Instead, saying she's adorable will work much better (and is perfect in a case where you have no context but genuinely want to know about her). If I come up with something like すいません、さっき気づいてステキなスタイルと言うたかった, which is basically just a rough translation of what happens in my french head, it doesn't quite work. Too heavy, strange looking, perhaps too direct. Any advice?

Yeah man, I feel you. Early on, I had girls tell me the way I spoke was kimoi because I used some 'girlisms' that I picked up from this girl I hung out with. Stuff like "X-tte sa" and "ara" are completely unacceptable coming from a guy's mouth and not just a figure of speech, as I soon learned. Sometimes people will be kind enough and tell you that you are speaking weirdly. Once you figure it out, though, it gets easier. And hang out with some guys so you can hear how they speak. It's not just the words but the pronunciation as well. Also read books and watch Japanese shows, etc.

As for pickup lines, pretty much @Sinapse said it in his earlier post, but I'd add don't be too forward and pressure the girl for her LINE/to hang out with you.

Words are important like how you phrase stuff - "What's your LINE?" vs "Let's exchange LINE!" With the former you are asking for something, with the latter it's an equal exchange indicating that you are providing her with something desirable.

 

[Ken1988]

I just remember a friend of mine, who's been great in pickups, who talks bs most of the times but has a amazingly radiant smile on his face which is deceivingly magical (or magically deceiving)...once even I felt compelled to smile back to him after listening to his bs talk.

If I come up with something like すいません、さっき気づいてステキなスタイルと言うたかった, which is basically just a rough translation of what happens in my french head, it doesn't quite work. Too heavy, strange looking, perhaps too direct. Any advice?

Perhaps "Yabai-kurai KakkoYee." (You've got incredibly "good appearance") ?

"KakkoYee" ("good appearance") is a more vague expression than beautiful or cute, but it's the word the Japanese tend to take without feeling flattered.

 

[vondoom]

you can also just change your style according to your speech pattern... a little more ni-chome style and female speech patterns are absolutely okay^^

wouldnt overuse words like boku and ore, though... havent met one japanese who likes that on none japanese... neutral is very much preferred on most people...

for pick up lines, why do people use them anyway? why not just talk?

 

[roots reggae]

Favorite pick-up line?

No doubt about it:

 

[Frenchy]

"Hi! You're really cute! I want your pic to be my screensaver"
(Never tried it though, and doubt it would work!)

 

[faboo2001]

Favorite pick-up line?

No doubt about it:

View attachment 2341

 

[Newhere]

すてき is actually kind of feminine, so probably don't want to go there.

I generally avoid direct compliments about appearance. At the most I would say something like 雰囲気がいい or 魅力的. But most of the time, they know already why you are talking to them and you don't need to say it. Whereas in the West, pickup is pretty context-reliant, meaning that people like to know what's happening and why you're talking to them a little more, in Japan, most women are pretty aware so you don't need to break it down that much for them. Most of the time NOT bringing up the context behind the interaction is fine, and if she's confused about it she might ask you. Instead, just talk to her as if she's already your girlfriend. You can start mid-sentence or mid-story without any introductions at all, and this often has the best effect.

Yeah that's the problem, I now get that I can't say suteki but then I'll make similar mistakes all the way through conversation anyway since there's just so much I'd have to learn (or if I can control myself it'll then get out later). However I still think that the very first impression is important so I'll try that, thanks! (didn't know miriteki)

Other than that I agree one shouldn't hit on a girl with something like you're looking good, if you genuinely are interested you should have better, but some days I just have nothing better, and just dressing a bit and breaking the ice helps my mind recollect (seeing that it's possible!)

 

[RickyJ]

What happened to just a regular greeting, eye contact and a smile? I regularly use that on the train with these young working class females.

Since my Japanese limited to Google Translate, I tend to be do short hints of english here and there hoping that they take the bait... but only uo to my train stop and nothing further.

When someone takes thr bait though and strikes up a conversation ( happened a couple of times since) I walked away from it realizing that I still got it

 

[Sinapse]

Yeah that's the problem, I now get that I can't say suteki but then I'll make similar mistakes all the way through conversation anyway since there's just so much I'd have to learn (or if I can control myself it'll then get out later). However I still think that the very first impression is important so I'll try that, thanks! (didn't know miriteki)

Don't worry about it too much, the best way to get over this is to increase the amount of interactions with women (and cool J guys as well!). Catch yourself here and there, get used to trimming the feminine Japanese from your interactions.

Watching really manly J-dudes speak also helps. I really enjoy Mifune Toshiro's 渋い badassness, for example, it demolishes the little fairy boy J-guy archetypes that are popular these days like hosts and androgynous anime characters. Foreigners generally default to having really weak rising tonality when they speak as well. Pay attention to Mifune's IDGAF tonality (when he's talking, not screaming hehe)

 

[Frenchy]

Don't worry about it too much, the best way to get over this is to increase the amount of interactions with women (and cool J guys as well!). Catch yourself here and there, get used to trimming the feminine Japanese from your interactions.

Watching really manly J-dudes speak also helps. I really enjoy Mifune Toshiro's 渋い badassness, for example, it demolishes the little fairy boy J-guy archetypes that are popular these days like hosts and androgynous anime characters. Foreigners generally default to having really weak rising tonality when they speak as well. Pay attention to Mifune's IDGAF tonality (when he's talking, not screaming hehe)

OMG Thanks for this Sinapse! Now I know where Tarantino found his inspiration for the silly blood over-splashing scenes in Kill Bill! And yes, like you I am fed up of the post-bubble era obsession with the "fairy boys" types. Good to know there was a time in this country when dudes acted like dudes!

 

[vondoom]

that and what you said is pretty outdated... good that there are oldschool people left alive!

 

[TitsMcGee]

be relaxed.
stay fresh and fit.
accomplish things.
no words are necessary.
women will come for you.

 

[Newhere]

Thanks for the info @Sinapse I've yet to find and befriend such "cool" JP guys though, I've just arrived.

@TitsMcGee > You couldn't have said it better, and that's my priority. I had a very rough time in the US, lots of shit happened on many personal levels, and that shook my self-confidence much more than I thought. Now I don't know why but I almost don't get eye contacts anymore in Tokyo, and whenever I hit on a girl that's a bit fashionable or radiant she gives me that not interested face (like answers politely but no way to get past that, and I don't insist because it's dull and uninteresting, could as well talk to Siri). Quite frustrating. I've got enough work to do to keep me busy on many personal levels, but I'll keep that mindset

 

[Newhere]

I managed to make the miryokuteki thing work once yesterday lol. I said it in an hesitant manner (I had forgotten about the word lol) and about something she was wearing, but she liked it.

 

[TapDat]

I don't try to pick up very often, but I did use Pokemon go as a starting point a few times. Like pretending there was a Pokemon on girl. Worked out, but my Japanese is pretty none existent. I got her to pose for a picture, though.

 

[Newhere]

Oh, pretty nice. Pokemon Go worked for me as an opener in San José back then (there are very few attractive girls on the streets, Pokemon Go, for a short while helped bringing the masses out of their apartment).
I was impressed at my Japanese yesterday, I think the one hour interaction with that girl got me 10 points above (my Japanese once used to be not so bad, but when I came back… lol). Couldn't have had a better opportunity at least.
And being posted for a few hours in a Starbucks in Harajuku doing some work… that's the best way to feel you're back in Tokyo

(I know that I need a total relooking though, let's be honest, but my taste for fashion has always been bad -- well, I find it good but not others lol, and my budget is very low yet.)

 

[Newhere]

I had a short but good interaction in the Yamanote, the typical kind that should have been ended by taking her LINE. But I didn't do it, on purpose. The woman was of an absolute beauty; you know Japanese girls often seem beautiful from far away, from the back or even when close-but-not-enough, but this one just was beautiful. I asked her about her musical instrument in a soft voice just like we were friends. No "excuse me" or special intonation. Despite being absolutely packed, the commuter-time yamanote is surprisingly silent as a church, and anything that attracts attention can be a turn off.

Thing is, I did it in English. I need to find a way to switch to Japanese at some point as I hate this situation: I can't say what I want (since it comes up naturally in JP), I don't like speaking English and she's not comfortable either. But for the first words it seems that my sucky Japanese just doesn't produce effect, and it might be the reason why I get patronizing reactions now that I think about it (my accent is almost perfect, but I'm studying N3 to give you an idea).
So far, out of the few tries I gave today, English seems to work better for me unfortunately.

Now it's too bad because I might be courageous in some situations, and do well too, but if I had a rough day, if I'm concentrated on some work, project or if something bad happened to me or feel lonely in general failure takes too much meaning and I can't do it well. Kind of a two-edged sword, because succeeding will give back confidence, while failing will bring you down.

 

[daneyboy]

Inspired by Tucker Max:

"Do you like Japanese guys or Foreign guys?"

If they say Japanese guys then say something like: "But Japanese guys are so picky, you probably need to get thinner, desho? If they say Foreign guys then say something like: "But it must be hard competing with foreign women." If they say both, or it doesn't matter then say something like: "I have a hard time deciding too. Both have their positives and negatives. What don't you like about Japanese guys?"

80% of the time they say it doesn't matter, and from there you can take the convo a number of places.

 

[User#8628]

Inspired by Tucker Max:

"Do you like Japanese guys or Foreign guys?"

If they say Japanese guys then say something like: "But Japanese guys are so picky, you probably need to get thinner, desho? If they say Foreign guys then say something like: "But it must be hard competing with foreign women." If they say both, or it doesn't matter then say something like: "I have a hard time deciding too. Both have their positives and negatives. What don't you like about Japanese guys?"

80% of the time they say it doesn't matter, and from there you can take the convo a number of places.

You really tell random women to lose weight or that it must be hard for them to compete with other women? You should be expecting a slap in the face.

 

[Newhere]

I was going to post that's a bit mean the weight thing (especially since so many j-girls are rather on the rachitic end of the scale IMHO and much pressure is put on them to be thinner than healthy) but I guess that's what you call a neg. Nonetheless I could use the idea of talking about how good they do with j-boys vs the rest, especially if I struggled to go past the first compliment

 

[User#8628]

It's totally unasked for to tell a stranger they should lose or gain weight.
It's one thing to talk to strangers, some girls mind it, i think it's not too bad if its in a polite manner but to insult someone out of the blue is just bullying.

If you ask any j girl if she prefers Japanese guy and she says she does and you say that she should probably lose weight for them to like her, you make damn sure she'll never give another foreigner a chance.

 

[Frenchy]

I guess the Tucker Max way is indeed hard to transpose in a Japanese context ! (His books are hilarious though , but TAG is probably the only place I could admit that!)

 

[daneyboy]

I guess the Tucker Max way is indeed hard to transpose in a Japanese context ! (His books are hilarious though , but TAG is probably the only place I could admit that!)

Well actually it seems you can't even admit that on TAG either. Seems the PC police are everywhere nowadays.