Anyone Been Caught Cheating Or Mongering?

[Quietlife]

An old colleague of mine back in London, who was a little dim-witted it must be said, made a fatal error with his wife. He married late through a matchmaking agency and his wife was really mean.

We discovered there was absolutely no sex at home at all, so we suggested he try and massage to at least get some satisfaction (he was a virgin until marriage, and that barely changed!)

So one evening after drinking with us, he took the bus home. It stopped outside Streatham Massage Parlour. He went in, and thirty minutes later, emerged, a very relieved man.

A few days later we heard that his wife was furious. Why? We asked.

He had made the mistake of paying by cheque, he told us.

Well, what's wrong with that? We wondered.

He had written "massage and handjob" on the chequebook stub!

Divorce followed. But maybe a lucky escape.

 

[User#10402]

By the way, I believe that the best way to confess to something you did and still do regularly is to use this Mitch Hedberg’s joke.

 

[Sudsy]

He had written "massage and handjob" on the chequebook stub!

My inner accountant applauds his diligence!

 

[User#8628]

Thanks for the very frank answer. I even asked a moderator to delete my message because I thought it wouldn’t have replies.

I wonder, what do you think would happen one day as you start moving away from the night life industry and into other interests, have you thought about that? I don’t mean you have to get out of the night industry, stay for as much as you want. I mean that the world is so much bigger than a dichotomy between night life industry and boring salaryman life; there is a lot of interesting people out there that aren’t into neither of those two categories and who simply don’t have experience with the night life industry, and regretfully in our society the stigma for sex work is still very high even among nice and cool people. I would say the stigma is even higher than against homosexuals or transsexuals, sure there are a lot of homophobic, but how many of them are cool people?

As for mongers, I'm sorry for playing the Solong card this time, but I feel that this situation is also frequently overlooked for men. Not saying is remotely worse for male mongers than for female escorts, you have it tougher there is no discussion, just saying the male situation is more often ignored. Even in “cool countries” that have their act together in welfare and social security like the nordic countries, what is deemed progressive in regard to sex work is to “aid” the supply/escorts, and punish demand/mongers. In the end it hurts both, but the spirit of the law is that mongers, not escorts, are the ones on the wrong.

My personal bias is also that escorts usually have more interesting experiences than mongers. Mongers play it safer. I also feel that their attitudes are somewhat different, escorts respect more their customers, than customers respect them. It’s my general impression, with exceptions off course. By the way, a lot of mongers are also boring salarymen.



That person might have done you a favor without realizing, but darn he/she was shitty tiny twat. As those Dhammapada verses say, I hope he never find happiness.


He who seeks happiness
By hurting others who seek happiness
Will never find happiness.
Not in the sky,
Nor in the depths of the sea,
Nor in the deepest mountains,
Can you hide from your misdeeds.​

Thanks also for your frank answer. What happened after you told her, if I may ask? Sounds like you eventually broke up, but maybe not immediately?

Oh, there is definitely a world outside. And i'm not sure about my future, and maybe there are some restrictions on what i can do in the future because of having a past like this.
As for a partner, for me it's an absolute must that someone is open minded and as long as my sex drive doesn't suddenly change i don't want monogamy in my relationship.
So nightlife guy or not, this is definitely an important thing for me in relationships.
As for future work this could ruin some opportunities but there is nothing that i really aspire to do and this is the thing that makes me happy at the moment. Also if i am smart with my money i can be pretty secure for the future.
Children is a big point, but there are many famous pornstars and normal SW who have children later with or without quitting so it should be fine..
I'm planning to not be very open about it to people who are not close to me. If someone would find out and out me in my new circle of people and my children would get bullied or something, moving or just changing school is the best idea i think.
A lot of Japanese women do SW at some point and succesfully get out and become very ordinary citizen later. Of course i'm a lot more outstanding... But maybe i could as well. I don't know.


The thing you mention about mongers being punished is also very outstanding to me. Isn't that a law in Sweden? (Prostitution is legal but using the service isn't.)
It doesn't make any sense to me. Dangerous law imo. Might lead to more sexual assault if you ask me (not sure but i did hear that Sweden also has a bit of a rape problem).
Don't try to make humans perfect because we are not. We do have cravings and the more your try to oppress them the more violent and sneaky they come out. Just let people do what they want if it doesn't harm other people. There are women who do enjoy this job so why would it have to be immoral or illegal?

Escorts have definitely more interesting lifes than the regular monger imo. And its also more difficult to hide our lifes.
Main reasons for this is that mongers don't do it very often, like once in a month for example, and a lot of escorts do it every day, or at least weekly.
And escorts usually have to promote themselves with some pictures so they are more recognizable.


I know right. Its very disturbing that there are people out there who don't care what kind of damage they can do to other people's lifes, or who even enjoy the damage.
But at least for now this wasn't so bad for me. I hope i'll always have the luxury of open minded people around me but i cant tell what the future brings of course. It might bite me in the ass but should i let a possible future ruin my happiness of the moment?

 

[Sinapse]

I hope i'll always have the luxury of open minded people around me but i cant tell what the future brings of course. It might bite me in the ass but should i let a possible future ruin my happiness of the moment?

From a player to a provider, I think you've got the right mindset here

 

[Wwanderer]

I hope i'll always have the luxury of open minded people around me but i cant tell what the future brings of course. It might bite me in the ass but should i let a possible future ruin my happiness of the moment?

Sex work, like all professions, has advantages and disadvantages, and the consequences of its stigmatization by society at large is certainly one of them. A major problem/issue for many sex workers is the need to keep a major part of their lives secret from their parents, siblings and other family members. But as far as the future goes, I very much agree that it would be foolish and self-defeating to let fears of *possible* future problems cause you to give up what you cherish today. In this regard, it is also important to keep in mind that the tolerance of society for sex work and many other unconventional forms of sexuality is rapidly increasing; the stigmatization was *enormously* worse only a few decades ago and is likely to become enormously better in the future.

-Ww

 

[User#10402]

@User#8628, thanks again for such frankness. I truly didn’t expect you to open so much in the forum about your personal experience. We all (escorts, mongers, and cheaters) share some common experiences about personal relationships and partners, and my questions were intended in that regard mostly: prospects about partners. The labor experience of escorts, however, it’s extremely unique and we (mongers and cheaters) cannot truly bring something of equal worth to the table. So, again, I’m just so glad to read such frankness about the labor aspect too, it is quite selfless from you.

Oh, there is definitely a world outside. And i'm not sure about my future, and maybe there are some restrictions on what i can do in the future because of having a past like this.

Just for the record, I never intended with my previous comments to insinuate that you or other escorts were sacrificing the future for the present.

As for a partner, for me it's an absolute must that someone is open minded and as long as my sex drive doesn't suddenly change i don't want monogamy in my relationship.
So nightlife guy or not, this is definitely an important thing for me in relationships.

I think I understand better this aspect now that you explain it. So, yes, nightlife world or not you would still be only interested in a person that is open minded about open relationships. Specially if you don’t plan to change your habits (like that Mitch Hedberg’s joke), then it’s not so much a confession from your past, but rather setting boundaries from the very beginning for the present and the future of a relationship.

I think that we all (escorts, mongers, and cheaters) would like to be more honest from the start about polygamy, but society is quite sided against open relationships. Thus the cheating and the hiding. If society were truly more understanding about open relationships, then we could also increase the standards for more honesty regarding the desire for multiple partners from the beginning. As things are now if you estate from the let go that you are polyamorous there is huge chance of being considered a “slut” or “a pervert guy only interested in sex”. You can see this a lot in dating apps, where people looking for open relationships are rarely seen and treated as equal users, but more like an annoyance/spambots that get in the way of the “legitimate users” looking only for long term and monogamous relationships.

Ideally, I think that one day in the future people should be able to be more open about wanting an open relationship. And I say this as someone who is not necessarily looking for an open relationship (even as a monger I was monogamous), I side with you. Now, off course, there will be people who always will cheat not because of their sex drive, but because they like the thrill of it, the drama, or want to hurt other person. We can improve things, but will never fix them entirely.

As for future work this could ruin some opportunities but there is nothing that i really aspire to do and this is the thing that makes me happy at the moment. Also if i am smart with my money i can be pretty secure for the future.
Children is a big point, but there are many famous pornstars and normal SW who have children later with or without quitting so it should be fine..
I'm planning to not be very open about it to people who are not close to me. If someone would find out and out me in my new circle of people and my children would get bullied or something, moving or just changing school is the best idea i think.
A lot of Japanese women do SW at some point and succesfully get out and become very ordinary citizen later. Of course i'm a lot more outstanding... But maybe i could as well. I don't know.

I didn’t expect you to open about this. Reading it was very interesting. Future work and career prospects is definitely something that hits escorts in a special way that doesn’t affect as much mongers or just cheaters.

Some escorts do escorting as way of financing what they consider their “true careers”, even when it is often the case that their escorting job makes more money than their careers. But other escorts consider escorting their true career. There are downsides and upsides to each (if escorting is not your true career, then it becomes a secret for your future non-night work; if escorting is your true career, then you need to think what will you do in the future when your looks fade with age) I think either option is fine as long as you are honest with yourself and keep in check were your future is heading.

I have read a lot in this forum something you said, I quote, “a lot of Japanese women do SW at some point and successfully get out and become very ordinary citizens later.” I don’t know how could you prove that, other than saying that a lot of Japanese women do SW at some point and somehow they have to become ordinary citizens later. That is a statistical/demographical fact that must be true, when escorts quit their job they aren’t disappearing from Earth (thankfully!), they go back to society… somehow. I guess the point is that escorts aren’t trapped in sex work forever.* The getting out of it successfully and becoming very ordinary part I’m not sure how can it even be measured, let alone prove a positive tendency. Do ex-sex workers face difficulties in society and their personal lives that we don’t see after they quit? I think it’s natural to assume some specific issues affect them, but there is no way to prove it statistically. I’m not picking on your argument, I’m just saying that it is something difficult to measure and I would be surprised if there are comprehensive studies about sex works’s life after they quit, you would need both qualitative date (interviews) and quantitative data (polls), and have short and long term follow up of the participants for the results to be significant. Otherwise we are just hoping that sex workers don’t just quit their jobs, but also that they are able to do it successfully and ordinarily.

*If a escort stays in sex work I think it’s important to consider the difference between those who stay willingly and are able to grow theirs careers: they become managers of their shops, madams, etc. In contrast to those escorts who stay reluctantly and go down the ladder: hostess -> soapland -> health -> pink salon. The point remains, however, that a lot of women do sex work in life, they get in and out and don’t stay. It’s more like a revolving door than a close end.

The thing you mention about mongers being punished is also very outstanding to me. Isn't that a law in Sweden? (Prostitution is legal but using the service isn't.)
It doesn't make any sense to me. Dangerous law imo. Might lead to more sexual assault if you ask me (not sure but i did hear that Sweden also has a bit of a rape problem).

There are studies both for and against the Swedish model. I could bring links in favor or against, but finding the right balance is extremely difficult. Once again, the problem is how to even measure these things. People in policy making are interested in finding indicators (decrease in number of active sex workers) that prove their policies are right. And people against them find other indicators (sexual assault cases, or underground sex workers increase, for example). If it turns out that the lasting impact of the policy is negative, what would make the Swedish model quite insidious is that Swedish social policy is one of the best (healthcare, education, etc.), and that would create the misconception that making illegal “solicitation” is the progressive thing to do. If it were an American policy… well, nobody is looking up to America for good example in social policies.

Something similar can also be said for the German model which is the closest you can get to legalization. There are pros and cons. My gut feeling is that a lot of policy work (honest policy) needs to be done after legalization, otherwise the market takes a huge dive towards demand (mongers), and leaves supply (escorts) with very little power in their hands. Prices go down and managers in the middle get to take a big chunk using their scale, for example brothel owners (that is the problem of indies, they don’t have scale, and trying to get it creates privacy issues). This is not exclusive of sex work, it happens also for example with Uber and similar businesses were workers get very little power, while users and an middle man (Uber) get the upper hand, but at least there isn’t an stigma against car driving in society.

Escorts have definitely more interesting lifes than the regular monger imo. And its also more difficult to hide our lifes.
Main reasons for this is that mongers don't do it very often, like once in a month for example, and a lot of escorts do it every day, or at least weekly.
And escorts usually have to promote themselves with some pictures so they are more recognizable.

Agreed. As an interesting math exercise I once wondered how many years would it take for an active monger to catch up with the number of times an escort had sex. Maybe an entire life in order to catch up with 5 years of a escort that worked several days a week, several customers a day? Not all escorts have such tough schedules, but they aren’t as exceptional as one would think, once you get away from high class escorting the rates aren’t too good and several hours need to be put to make decent money. There was a topic here at TAG about the number of different sex partners, I believe @Wwanderer came as close as possible as having the most partners in a life.

The real difference, though, as you mention is the contrast in privacy (or lack of it) between escorts and mongers. And the online world only makes this worst. It is very rarely the case that mongers privacy is at stake to the same degree that escorts privacy is.

But at least for now this wasn't so bad for me. I hope i'll always have the luxury of open minded people around me but i cant tell what the future brings of course. It might bite me in the ass but should i let a possible future ruin my happiness of the moment?

I truly hope things work well for you in the future. And just to be clear, I don’t intend any of my comments with a subtext that the future will bite escorts in the ass. I’m not saying this like those moralizing ads against piracy in the cinema that tell you “crime doesn’t pay.” That’s not my attitude at all. Both in your career and relationships I hope it pays off.

 

[Solong]

I have, to my girlfriend. At the beginning of the relationship she said if I ever cheated to just not say and if she doesn't find out it's fine. But farther into the relationship she kept asking me over and over and I got the sense her opinion changed and I didn't want to hide anything any more so I told her. It caused a bunch of issues but at least I was honest.

This looks like the "don't ask, don't tell" type situation that many couples have. It can work, if both parties stick to it. However, some can't stick to such an agreement, and their jealousy or possessiveness takes over.

The usual cat and mouse games that many men and women play about cheating and hiding what they are sexually into, is why I transitioned over to the swinger lifestyle. However, even in my case, I can't always get girlfriends to transition. So I get stuck into "don't ask, don't tell" as backup.

With women that you go swinging or do sex orgies with, the relationship is often beyond petty selfishness, jealousy, and cheating for sex. That can be eliminated a great deal. You can be honest/more honest about sex.

A lot of the problem centers on emotional maturity or beliefs in regards to possessiveness, selfishness, jealousy, and sexual honesty. Some couples can have that talk and totally open up about it, where their bond to each other is beyond sex. If he/she has sex with someone else, it doesn't destroy the relationship. Where with other couples, they don't realize that their relationship bond is no deeper than sex. Meaning, any type of sex outside a narrow range or sex with anybody else, destroys their relationship.

And it's kind of funny. Many people assume the traditional relationship based on sexual fidelity is stronger/strongest, and it's NOT. It's actually the weakest or can be weaker bond than other "alternative" relationships because it can create the sexual cloak and dagger/cheating games and dishonesty that many do.

 

[User#10402]

@Solong, one of the most dangerous things in life is disregarding the ‘inner experience’ of others. Communication can go a long away into getting to know other people’s feelings, but an extra effort is needed to also believe their words and trust the way they describe their feelings.

This is an article I like about it, using temperature as an analogy. If someone tells you they feel cold, but you feel hot — and even if the thermostat says it’s some given temperature —, you need to take their word for it, no matter how much you insist on feeling hot that would not change the fact that they feel cold — maybe their metabolism is different, maybe they are sick, maybe their clothes are wet —. Both their feelings and your feelings are real, none is “more real” than the other.

You don’t need to take a subjective philosophy for everything — you can believe in god, science, or whatever objective thing you want as your natural philosophy —, however when it comes to interpersonal relationships you need to embrace subjectivism. Personal experiences are subjective, there is no other way around it. When women tell you they are not treated the same as men on a daily basis, you need to believe them. When transgender people tell you they feel their body gender is not right, you need to believe them. Applied to monogamous and polygamous differences among people this means trusting the words and inner feelings of others regarding love and sex.

Since most people in this forum seem to be polygamous I won’t try to explain too deeply their inner experience. Suffice to say that most people aren’t polygamous because they want to hurt others, but because they feel that having multiple partners not only isn’t bad, but desirable. The most altruist polygamous people wouldn’t even bother about their own pleasure, but would want their partners to be polygamous for their own sake, you want your partner to experience all the good things that you think polygamy brings. An altruist polygamous person would want its partners to don’t fell guilty about cheating, and it would want them to experience sex with other people that are of her/his fancy, people that maybe are better at sex than you and can give she/he more pleasure. Finally, a polygamous person would emphasize how great and varied sex can be when you are able to separate from social and emotional attachments, you can enjoy sex as it is and for what it is, like a delicious meal.

On the other hand, the monogamous inner experience seems to be less experienced in this forum. While I will concede that a lot of people are monogamous out of social pressure, many times experiencing conflicted feelings and polygamous urges, I also believe that monogamous people very often feel in their hearts that monogamy is desirable. Coupled with romantic love, it can be a very strong gut feeling, and that gut feeling is as real as the feelings of polygamous people. It doesn’t have anything to do with not being emotionally mature, or drinking the Kool-Aid of social conventions. An altruist monogamous person would tell you that they don’t feel jealous of others, as much as incredibly focused on one person’s happiness. They know that how they have come to care so much about one person is capricious, there are billions of us in this planet after all, but they still believe that someone can be special and different from everybody else. Finally, a monogamous person would emphasize you how small sex seem in comparison to love and romantic feelings, and that the best way to enjoy sex is with someone you deeply care. Sex with someone you love is not just great, is amazing. And sex with someone you don’t love feels empty, even painfully empty, it’s absence, it reminds you of the person that isn’t there.

Probably what it would be most difficult to understand for polygamous people is unrequited monogamous love. I’m not generalizing and saying you don’t understand unrequited love, just monogamous love. Monogamous love is a stroke of luck, the two people in a relationship need to feel the same way about the other, at the same time, and coupled with a natural disinterest for others. The chances for that are against most of the time. The utter proof of monogamous love is when one person loves another, and that person doesn’t loves him back but instead loves another person; if that person is truly altruistic it would rather have the person he loves be in love with whom she wants more. Another painful feeling is when someone you love doesn’t love anyone. You want them to fall in love.

There is a chasm between polygamous and monogamous people, and lately a word that is used vey often is ‘polyamorous’, which is used to indicate that a polygamous person is deeply committed about its partners, as much as or more than a monogamous person would be. A polyamorous person would tell you that he/she can love more than one person at the same time and even be exclusive to just the people they’re in love with. It’s not an open relationship, it's a closed relationship with multiple partners. A polyamorous would tell you it’s even better if you all love each other (now you are fighting probability, but for argument’s sake let’s concede is possible).

I, as a mostly monogamous person can only tell you that my inner experience can be condensed into one feeling: is hard to deeply care about someone. I would emphasize ‘deeply care’, and here is where the chasm between polygamous and monogamous people widens, polygamous people would tell someone like me that they deeply care about their partners. I, on the other hand, would say based on my experience that caring about someone is so rare that I wouldn’t even take for granted you will find someone you deeply care for in life, only if you are lucky. Caring about people multiple times, and several people at the same time… you are kidding me, right? I take your word for it, but it’s hard for me to imagine. It’s not that I don’t care, but I’m mostly indifferent towards people, I try to be kind but that’s it. Once you start caring for someone is difficult to put a stop to it. For me being in love is caring for someone above everyone else, even yourself.

That’s a lot of words. I guess the best way to convey what monogamous love feels like is, this either breaks your heart or not (heads up to @Anna Summer):



That is my personal experience, I’m not saying is more real than yours. Most people’s experiences are probably somewhere in between strict monogamy and strict polygamy, making everything fuzzy. Either case, the best you can do is to take their words and feelings for real and don’t disregard them quickly as immature because they are different from yours. Making fun of them, or calling the bounds of other people weaker than yours is not listening to them.

I will cut on the ridiculously long posts for a while.

 

[vck_js]

The more time passes in my life I wonder, has anyone confessed to cheating or mongering? I guess that for escorts the equivalent would be confessing their work to someone else. Not the same thing in many ways, just the closest equivalent.

I don't throw it at people's face, but if asked i never hide it. I just don't see the point.
Co-workers at my day job know it.
Friends back home and here know it (a friend works in a warehouse from where mail-order adult goods are sent, once she told me "the other day i prepared a dvd order and on cover there was a foreign girl, at first i thought it was you XD")
Even my brother knows it (he sometimes starts conversations with a delicate "hey, how many guys have you fist-fucked this week?")

It's a good way to filter my relationships, I don't want to associate with close-minded people who wouldn't see past my occupations. If someone doesn't want to be friend with me/go on a date with me/think less of me because of something as trivial, it's their loss, not mine. There's so much more to me than this job that i have been doing for not even 3 years yet.
And anyway, when i was a nurse i regularly touched dicks and had my finger in people's butts but nobody cared. Now i should feel ashamed because i do it while wearing leather instead of a white blouse? No way.

Thanks to my job i had the opportunity to see a lot of things, to meet amazing people, and fantastic things have happened to me. For exemple, thanks to a regular who works in the classical music industry, i had the opportunity to meet miss Yamane Michiru (a video game music composer who sometimes does renditions of her works with classical orchestras), it's also thanks to my work that i hooked up with a member from a famous band i really love (thanks to my work gravure pics he noticed me and messaged me when i started to follow him on social media), etc...
It wouldn't have happened if i wasn't working at the shop, so hiding it would feel to me like a lack of respect/gratitude towards the people who supported me in that activity.

This month, two girls who worked with me graduated from Uni and decided to leave the shop. They deleted their play blog, and begged us to delete all entries talking about them (even though we always pixelated them) in our work social media accounts. One of them told me "you see, if my parents, my friends or people at my future job knew it, my life would be over". It made me so sad to hear that... To know that these sweet girls, even when they were having fun or whatever, were probably constantly worrying about that sword of Damocles hanging over their head is a heartbreaking thought. Nobody should live with such a fear.

As a monger I feel like the more I care about someone I just cannot lie about mongering in the past

I am maybe naive, but are there really girls who would care if you met escorts in the past? I could see the problem if you were still doing it while in a relationship, but if it was before... I don't really understand how it would affect your current partner.

 

[User#10402]

I don't throw it at people's face, but if asked i never hide it. I just don't see the point.

@vck_js thanks a lot for the detailed answer. I didn’t expect there would be many answers and so open, but you and Alice have shared a lot.

It's a good way to filter my relationships, I don't want to associate with close-minded people who wouldn't see past my occupations. If someone doesn't want to be friend with me/go on a date with me/think less of me because of something as trivial, it's their loss, not mine.

I guess that is the best way of putting it, there is no use in having a relationship with someone that doesn’t accept you for what you are and your past. I strongly agree with it.

You can filter a lot that way. I’m afraid that problems might arise, though, with people who would want and try to accept you, but not exactly in the way you expect to. For example, people who have to make an effort to accept you and it doesn’t come as natural to them. Or people who bring their own notion of sex work and apply it to your experience. For example, I read a lot in this forum people saying that “escorts can get all the sex they have”, which seems to miss the point that it is work. The opposite is also common, people who think that sex work must be a unbearable job and nobody could enjoy it even a little.

Thanks to my job i had the opportunity to see a lot of things, to meet amazing people, and fantastic things have happened to me. For exemple, thanks to a regular who works in the classical music industry, i had the opportunity to meet miss Yamane Michiru (a video game music composer who sometimes does renditions of her works with classical orchestras), it's also thanks to my work that i hooked up with a member from a famous band i really love (thanks to my work gravure pics he noticed me and messaged me when i started to follow him on social media), etc...
It wouldn't have happened if i wasn't working at the shop, so hiding it would feel to me like a lack of respect/gratitude towards the people who supported me in that activity.

I’m glad your experience has been positive. I didn’t do P4P for too long, although I did try a lot of different services. The variety of experiences was huge, I met sex workers who were empowered by their jobs and told me they were happy with them, at least half of the people I met, but I also met cases of familiar debt, self harm, eating disorders, and a case very close to human trafficking.

The experience of the sex worker I’m more familiar with has been a mixed bag for her. Both good and bad things, without going into much detail. Once again, I’m glad your experience has been positive.

I am maybe naive, but are there really girls who would care if you met escorts in the past? I could see the problem if you were still doing it while in a relationship, but if it was before... I don't really understand how it would affect your current partner.

I haven’t had a chance of dating seriously since then. Not to the point of confessing mongering in the past. I immediately come out as bicurious and queerish, though, so that filters most conservative people out. I think someone could be concerned of dating a partner who met escorts in the past because of several reasons: i) concerns that he will cheat on you with a escort in the future; ii) fear that he will bring STDs into the relationship; iii) worrying about money problems, you might be ok with the possibility that your partner starts seeing escorts again, but you might not be ok on how much your partner expends in them; iv) worry of negative attitudes toward women that might not seem evident at first to you. Personally, I don’t like downplaying the last one, everyday I wonder if inside me there are negative attitudes toward women.

We have to admit it, it does rise some red flags.

 

[cytusfubu]

I was drunk and told my gf on the phone i was got extra on a massage parlor. Got a beating and after some crying, we made up, swore i'll never do it again. Whether i kept my promise or not, well, im here in this forum so... yeah