Do You Ever Feel Guilty?

[TAG_Member]

I am not a stranger to the idea of paying for sex but have toned down a lot in the last couple of years. I have the money to spend but backed out the last few times because I felt guilty for my kids. Yes I'd love to fuck that hot Japanese OL but the 30k or 40k could be better spend on my kids and wife.

So for those with a family, do you feel the same guilt and how do you justify it?

Not trying to stay a moral discussion here but curios to hear from some of you.

 

[Kegger]

This is a big issue for lots of people here I think.
I only really got over it when I got to the point where we had enough put aside for the kids education, and my salary was enough for my wife to cover everything + have a little spare.
This only happened about 4-5 year ago.

Before that I was in a very similar position to you, and while I had nights out with the boys that would often end up in a massage place of DH, it was way less frequent than it is now.

I do however feel that sometimes you do have to treat yourself.

 

[Wwanderer]

My personal standard for "reasonable spending" on p4p or np4p with "other women" has always been that it should not have a major impact on my family's standard of living, in other words the family should be living more-or-less at the same level it otherwise would. There should certainly be no financial hardship imposed on the family and if/when the family income otherwise allowed it, there should be appropriate luxury spending as well.

Another useful comparison I have used to "calibrate" myself is that I do not spend more on such things than other people in my rough income range and socio-economic-professional group spend on their various expensive hobbies (of which I have none). I also give myself a bit of additional slack on spending for my personal enjoyment because I am quite frugal with many personal expenses on which many others spend significantly (e.g., clothes, cars).

Anyway, if I were going to feel guilty about anything (and I'm not), it would be the lying, not the spending.

-Ww

 

[User#8628]

I also give myself a bit of additional slack on spending for my personal enjoyment because I am quite frugal with many personal expenses on which many others spend significantly (e.g., clothes, cars).

Hmmm, you tend to blow a lot of money on fashionable shoes though...

 

[scorpioni6ths]

So for those with a family, do you feel the same guilt and how do you justify it?

This is coming from a single person who supports his family (mom and pop mainly, siblings are working) back home.

I don't feel any guilt. I've worked my ass off to give them a better quality of life when I was younger. I still give them financial support. They are very appreciative. At this point in my life, I'm trying to focus more on myself. Work hard, play harder. You only live once. Cliches, I know. As long as my quality of life is not affected I'd be playing to some extent. It is "almost" the same thinking expressed by Ww & Kegger.

 

[e-smile]

I am not a stranger to the idea of paying for sex but have toned down a lot in the last couple of years. I have the money to spend but backed out the last few times because I felt guilty for my kids. Yes I'd love to fuck that hot Japanese OL but the 30k or 40k could be better spend on my kids and wife.

So for those with a family, do you feel the same guilt and how do you justify it?

Not trying to stay a moral discussion here but curios to hear from some of you.

I do feel guilty but not because of the money.

 

[Coda87]

I dont feel guilty about spending the money. I only do this when Im in Japan about once a year on vacation. So to me its just part of the vacation budget (secret part). But I feel guilty about hiding it from my significant other. The only way I partially get over the guilt is by telling myself it just me paying for a service for my own pleasure. Its not going to turn into an affair, and somebody end up getting hurt, etc (possible with non-providers).

 

[Mischa Maxwell]

The only way I partially get over the guilt is by telling myself it just me paying for a service for my own pleasure. Its not going to turn into an affair, and somebody end up getting hurt, etc (possible with non-providers).

I've seen so many real-life affairs end badly.

Family are hurt, careers are ended, lifelong friendships are finished and reputations are tarnished. This kind of damage cannot be undone.

By meeting with a provider, you are paying for a service. A discreet service. Ladies that can (and do) keep their mouths firmly closed (when outside of the bedroom, obviously).
I think it was Charlie Sheen who said,
"I don't pay women to sleep with me, I pay them to leave."