Making male friends in Tokyo = impossible?

[User#12791]

Guaranteed, there are worse problems to have!! Lol.

That being said, it seems extremely easy to make female friends here, but male friends has been damn near impossible whether it be Japanese guys, or even foreigners. Girls are great. Don't get me wrong. But sometimes I feel like I wanna have a dude session and grab some beers.

 

[TokyoML]

Have you met any girls here IRL?

 

[TAG Manager]

Definitely have more female friends over males. Don't know why it's easier...

Japanese guys are terrible for me usually... they all have been heavy drinkers and I don't fit in since I'm not a regular drinker.

I have a couple of foreign friends that are fairly reliable. That's probably because we take part in the same rec. activity.

It's not hard, just need to find a common interest. Going drinking alone isn't strong enough to keep friends together...

 

[Vulkan]

You need a hobby to find bros in Tokyo: sports, music etc... its the only reliable way if you want to avoid people who are looking for free English lessons

 

[e-smile]

Guaranteed, there are worse problems to have!! Lol.

That being said, it seems extremely easy to make female friends here, but male friends has been damn near impossible whether it be Japanese guys, or even foreigners. Girls are great. Don't get me wrong. But sometimes I feel like I wanna have a dude session and grab some beers.

Japanese guys don't open themselves easily so most of the ones I know there are mere "acquaintance" but I have many foreigners friends from various countries in Japan.

 

[User#12791]

All true. Good to hear that I'm not the only one though!

 

[BladeRunner]

There's nobody where you work? Tends to be the first place to look to find guys to hang out with.

 

[User#12791]

There's nobody where you work? Tends to be the first place to look to find guys to hang out with.

Most of the guys at work tend to keep to themselves. The women on the other hand are much more social.

 

[Sudsy]

I have a handful of extremely close Japanese male friends, all of whom I met through shared interests other than alcohol or women.

 

[Wwanderer]

I have a handful of extremely close Japanese male friends, all of whom I met through shared interests other than alcohol or women.

Same here.

-Ww

 

[impish]

Try meetup.com I've met a lot of people this way foreign and Japanese and since we have the same interest (meetup group) it's easier to make friends that way.

 

[MikeH]

I have a handful of extremely close Japanese male friends, all of whom I met through shared interests other than alcohol or women.

I hope you are not trying to tell that drinking with your ex-pat friends in a foreign modelled pub and trying to pick up Japanese girls is not the best way to find Japanese male friends?

Gosh, next you are trying to tell us we should actually learn the language too!

 

[curioustokyogirl]

Try meetup.com I've met a lot of people this way foreign and Japanese and since we have the same interest (meetup group) it's easier to make friends that way.

I agree!

I have been to several meetups and the guys I see there eventually seemed to have bonded and would even meet quite regularly.

 

[BankaSakka]

Being that I am white, my observation is that Japanese men try to act differently around me from their regular behavior. I sometimes just want them to cut the act!

 

[BankaSakka]

Being that I am white, my observation is that Japanese men try to act differently around me from their regular behavior. I sometimes just want them to cut the act!

If they did that, maybe I'd have more male friends. I had a guy drink with me only to lure me to visit his brother's izakaya. Basically he was just trying to get foriegners to spend money there.

Gaijin=big drinker=big spender

When I refused to go he changed his email and then if I saw him in public because of work he avoided me. Another co-worker had the same story.

 

[BankaSakka]

Another thing that often prevents me from continuing to be friends with Japanese males is their willingness to share intimate details about their fetish habits that we know are illegal. Total friendship breaker.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

I have made some Japanese "friends" in Tokyo while getting shithoused in bars and clubs in Tokyo, but we didn't really remember each other too well the next morning haha.

There are some really cool people you can meet though. I still keep in contact with some.

 

[BankaSakka]

I am not saying there are not cool J males, But that most are fake and assholes. That dude Solong nailed it perfectly about this very thing. The coolest Japanese man I know is older than me but lived in Spain. Very interesting man.

 

[User#12791]

There are some cool Japanese guys out there, but I think a lot have a bit of an inferiority complex when it comes to hanging out with a foreigner.