About a year ago a single attractive 27 y.o. Japanese girl that I work with asked me if I would teach her English. I'm a 47 y.o.white American (if that matters), and married - she knew I am married. Even though she's not the drop-dead-gorgeous type by most guys' standards I had always found her attractive, though our relationship was strictly professional.
Of course I was happy about this so we started meeting at coffee shops 2-3 times/month chatting and doing little English lessons. I always paid which she seemed to appreciate. Each time we met she got cuter and cuter and I started to really like her. Though I never flat out told her this I often complemented her on her attractiveness so I'm sure she was getting the picture. A month later after a coffee time I walked her home. The next month we went out to dinner then to a movie. All good. Two months and a few coffee times later we went to a nice restaurant, I walked her home, and when we said goodbye I gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek which she seemed to be happy about as we immediately set plans to meet again. By now we're 6 months into this friendship/relationship/English lesson/whatever. I always paid and she never declined an invitation to go out. What would you all be thinking about now? In the fall, on the night of her birthday, I dropped by her home to give her flowers, a present and a note. She was out so I left them with her mom. The next day she sends a big thank you on LINE. Our meetings/dates continue for 6 more months which brings us up to two weeks ago when everything ended. This went on a full year! A week prior to our falling out I had asked her to have dinner with me to which she said "yes" as always. After dinner we went to a coffee shop to chat some more. Normally we would have parted ways earlier since I live out of Tokyo, but on this night (and to her knowledge) I had booked a hotel room to stay over so we were able to stay out later and not be so rushed. As we were about to call it a night I asked her if she would like to go back with me to my room and she was even welcome to stay over if she wanted to. I didn't want to pressure her too much. I told her that I thought she was beautiful and I had liked her for a long time.
Unfortunately, to say the least, she didn't respond the way I'd hoped. She got really uncomfortable and went into some kind of anxiety melt down and just wanted to go home.
We haven't spoken since.
Any ideas about what went wrong?
Was I such a creep to invite her to stay with me? I felt like an idiot.
I'm thinking that even though she always seemed happy to go out with me (and to let me treat her of course), anything romantic was just wishful thinking on my part. Perhaps it was an ego boost for her in addition to free English lessons, coffees and dinners.
To be honest, I don't regret what I did. I had to tell her how I felt at some point. Still analyzing why she freaked out.
Of course I was happy about this so we started meeting at coffee shops 2-3 times/month chatting and doing little English lessons. I always paid which she seemed to appreciate. Each time we met she got cuter and cuter and I started to really like her. Though I never flat out told her this I often complemented her on her attractiveness so I'm sure she was getting the picture. A month later after a coffee time I walked her home. The next month we went out to dinner then to a movie. All good. Two months and a few coffee times later we went to a nice restaurant, I walked her home, and when we said goodbye I gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek which she seemed to be happy about as we immediately set plans to meet again. By now we're 6 months into this friendship/relationship/English lesson/whatever. I always paid and she never declined an invitation to go out. What would you all be thinking about now? In the fall, on the night of her birthday, I dropped by her home to give her flowers, a present and a note. She was out so I left them with her mom. The next day she sends a big thank you on LINE. Our meetings/dates continue for 6 more months which brings us up to two weeks ago when everything ended. This went on a full year! A week prior to our falling out I had asked her to have dinner with me to which she said "yes" as always. After dinner we went to a coffee shop to chat some more. Normally we would have parted ways earlier since I live out of Tokyo, but on this night (and to her knowledge) I had booked a hotel room to stay over so we were able to stay out later and not be so rushed. As we were about to call it a night I asked her if she would like to go back with me to my room and she was even welcome to stay over if she wanted to. I didn't want to pressure her too much. I told her that I thought she was beautiful and I had liked her for a long time.
Unfortunately, to say the least, she didn't respond the way I'd hoped. She got really uncomfortable and went into some kind of anxiety melt down and just wanted to go home.
We haven't spoken since.
Any ideas about what went wrong?
Was I such a creep to invite her to stay with me? I felt like an idiot.
I'm thinking that even though she always seemed happy to go out with me (and to let me treat her of course), anything romantic was just wishful thinking on my part. Perhaps it was an ego boost for her in addition to free English lessons, coffees and dinners.
To be honest, I don't regret what I did. I had to tell her how I felt at some point. Still analyzing why she freaked out.