Dating Then VS. Dating Now

[Simonka]

Dont take this the wrong way but thats just so cute! Come the day when I manage to get cash aside to book you, we'll have to have angry political sex together

Too late, that was when I was a starry eyed 19-20 years old. Nowadays I try to avoid politics as much as possible. But we can have other forms of sex I guess

 

[TheScientist]

Too late, that was when I was a starry eyed 19-20 years old. Nowadays I try to avoid politics as much as possible. But we can have other forms of sex I guess

Thats actually for the best.

 

[AMcguyver]

If you were dating in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, and 2000’s, what are some of the differences in dating that you notice between then and now?

I’m a late-90’s baby, so I obviously didn’t date during those times. I probably started dating in 2012. The boys that I dated in high school were always coming up with cool, fun date ideas.

It wasn’t that long ago.. but nowadays, I find dating “civilians” (what some of us escorts call non-clients) to be rather predictable and boring.

I’ve given dating apps a try.. and it doesn’t take long for me to give up and delete my profile. The men tend to be conceited, desperate, have a slice of lasagna as their profile picture, or don’t seem to know other words besides “hi” or “hey”.

Going to bars/clubs is no longer fun.. as you get all dolled-up just so that you can go to a place where almost everyone is on their phones and the men stare at you instead of approaching you.

When you do find somebody you want to date, you suggest going to the movies, visit a museum, or attend a festival.. and they don’t want to do anything besides stay indoors and Netflix & chill.

I’ve always enjoyed going on dates with my clients, but.. they are my clients. I wanted to have fun and date people without ruining work relationships.. but now I see that it’s not as nice as I thought it’d be.

How about you guys? What are some things that you dislike (or like) about today’s dating culture?

Didn't really date in high school, as I was one of the geeks that hung out in the library a lot. In college, mostly all my close friends were women, so there wasn't a lot of dating there either, lot of hanging out with the girls though - gong to movies, dance clubs, karaoke, snorkeling, opihi picking, cliff diving, the usual sort of stuff.

The few times I did go out on dates with girls I was interested in, we'd go out a few times, then when I started getting more attracted to her, it would turn out she found someone else she was interested in, and eventually she would end up marrying that person. Like the movie "Good Luck Chuck" but without the sex. (My superhero alter-ego - "Transitional Man")

These days, with all the Twitter/FB/IG/LINE/etc., I'm kinda glad I'm already married 'cause I wouldn't have a clue how to deal with all of that.
We didn't have any of that back then - no cell phone, no email, no texting, nothing. My wife and I "dated" by writing letters to each other - physically taking a pen in hand, handwriting on actual paper, putting it in an envelope and walking it down to that funny looking building called a "Post Office", sending it and then waiting weeks for a reply.

 

[Frenchy]

Too late, that was when I was a starry eyed 19-20 years old. Nowadays I try to avoid politics as much as possible. But we can have other forms of sex I guess

Ah ah, your post reminded me a silly french movie (cant recall the title and much of the story tbh) about a leftist woman who enjoys fucking with guys from the other side , with the hope to alter their opinions

 

[TheScientist]

Ah ah, your post reminded me a silly french movie (cant recall the title and much of the story tbh) about a leftist woman who enjoys fucking with guys from the other side , with the hope to alter their opinions

Comes to mind that I met her, or rather a few versions of "her".

 

[just4fun]

That surprises me. Whenever I see couples, I notice that their fashion styles usually match.. so I kinda thought that you were into girls who wore only black clothing and leather jackets.

That's my style.........if I'm with someone for awhile and they like what I wear..I'll take them shopping if they wanna be twinzies (Then.....now? Hmmmm)

 

[DanniCake]

If you were dating in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, and 2000’s, what are some of the differences in dating that you notice between then and now?

I’m a late-90’s baby, so I obviously didn’t date during those times. I probably started dating in 2012. The boys that I dated in high school were always coming up with cool, fun date ideas.

It wasn’t that long ago.. but nowadays, I find dating “civilians” (what some of us escorts call non-clients) to be rather predictable and boring.

I’ve given dating apps a try.. and it doesn’t take long for me to give up and delete my profile. The men tend to be conceited, desperate, have a slice of lasagna as their profile picture, or don’t seem to know other words besides “hi” or “hey”.

Going to bars/clubs is no longer fun.. as you get all dolled-up just so that you can go to a place where almost everyone is on their phones and the men stare at you instead of approaching you.

When you do find somebody you want to date, you suggest going to the movies, visit a museum, or attend a festival.. and they don’t want to do anything besides stay indoors and Netflix & chill.

I’ve always enjoyed going on dates with my clients, but.. they are my clients. I wanted to have fun and date people without ruining work relationships.. but now I see that it’s not as nice as I thought it’d be.

How about you guys? What are some things that you dislike (or like) about today’s dating culture?

GOD YES THIS.

People keep asking my why I got into sugar dating (or why I don't date) and this is 100% why. Regular dates no one wants to DO anything, no one wants to go out and have fun, or guys show up looking like an absolute schlub at LEAST 10 years older than their pictures.

And then at the end of the night they want you to split the bill and still go to a love hotel with them.

 

[warubuta]

My dating experience when I was single was in the '60s and early '70s. I did very different sorts of things on dates in high school and in college.

The former was more traditional - movies, driving around listening to music (on an AM radio, the only option available except for record players at someone's home), going to the beach or a park, picnics, school dances, parties at a someone's house while their parents were away, etc.

In college, my dates and I did a much larger range of different sorts of things...still movies, music and going to restaurants though (traditional stuff), but also live music (from small clubs to giant rock festivals), political events/activities (rallies, protests, campaigning and more), getting drunk and/or high (various drugs), museums, lectures, road trips, panhandling (to get money for some specific recreational purpose mostly), cooking together, recreational/experimental sex of various sorts, endless hours of conversation about nearly any conceivable topic, "nudist events" (not sure what to call them exactly) that sometimes turned into mellow orgies, living together (is that a form of dating?)...

I fear that I've forgotten much of the fun I had.

-Ww

I think you had FM radio. Certainly by the 70s anyway.

 

[Frenchy]

Dated in the 80s , it sucked
In the 90s too come to think of it
00s : too busy to date
10s: dating again (and mostly paying for it). Now the girls do not only expect money, but also being spoiled in nice restaurants etc AND not organizing anything themselves. 80% of the time it sucks. But I try to improve my score!

 

[Wwanderer]

I think you had FM radio. Certainly by the 70s anyway.

Early '70s, in cars? Not that I recall and certainly not in any car I could use for dating.

-Ww

 

[Frenchy]

... and for all the ladies with dating nostalgia: (great song in karaoke btw)


.

 

[TheScientist]

GOD YES THIS.

People keep asking my why I got into sugar dating (or why I don't date) and this is 100% why. Regular dates no one wants to DO anything, no one wants to go out and have fun, or guys show up looking like an absolute schlub at LEAST 10 years older than their pictures.

And then at the end of the night they want you to split the bill and still go to a love hotel with them.

Maybe you should consider guys from the generation that still remembers how to date.

 

[Frenchy]

Maybe you should consider guys from the generation that still remembers how to date.

... Or pay a sugar boy?

 

[Coda87]

I remember in the late 80s when I was still in high school, dating was going to the movies, eating out at cheaper restaurants because we didn't have alot of money, going to the beach, school dances, or cruising around Waikiki in our cars. We often did double dating usually with another guy that had a car. There were no mobile phones or even pagers back then, so we would not be distracted by that. We still did talk on the regular phone a lot though. Sometimes we would gather a friend's house and drink some alcohol Later in college (the early 90s) we would go to clubs for drinks and dancing, nicer restaurants for dinner, movies. Most of my memories of that time are very faded, but they were good times. Then I got married, had kids, and did not date (as a single) for a long time until 2013.

My wife and I separated for about one year around 2013-2014. So I tried dating again. I didn't really feel like it. But at the same time I felt lonely and wanted to talk\be in the company of women. I actually ran and Ad on Craigslist personals, which was in the platonic section, saying I was interested in ladies going though separation/divorce like me. And I got a ton of responses. So that's one difference, the internet made it easier to reach out to many women, and make initial contact via email. I would usually meet these women for lunch or dinner to talk. And if we clicked, we would go on another date. Then I met a lady who was also separated and going through a divorce. At first we just met at coffee shops to talk a lot about our situations. And this eventually led to really fun dating. We went to nice dinners. Movies where we our hands found each other in the dark. We shopped together. We had really great time at a Jason Mraz concert. Did a beach bbq/picnic with just the two of us. We even went ice skating together one time. Our first kiss was at this lookout on top a mountain road at nice looking over the city views. It was really romantic, slow paced dating, and felt like old times. Sometimes after drinking at bars we would make out in my car. We probably met 10-15 times though before I finally suggested we do an overnight stay at a nice hotel on the north side of the island where we finally made love. So I think the only difference for me between the 80s/90s and the 2010s was that the internet/smart phones made communication easier. Me and the women I dated were older and more mature. And I had more money to spend on nicer dates. I really liked dating but it takes a lot of time. I had more time when I was younger, less time now that I am older.

 

[DanniCake]

Maybe you should consider guys from the generation that still remembers how to date.

Honestly I wonder if it’s a generational thing or it’s a personality thing.

Guys my age I’ve dated have no money to do anything, and no drive to be creative. I mean I have a great time cheeply with friends, I’m an easygoing nerd so take me somewhere to play cards that has a good tea and I’ll be happy, but even that seems like a monumental effort for some.

But on the other side, I’ve planned dates with guys older than me who can afford to do things, and they’ll kind of go with the plan, but be sort of grumpy at being made to do anything and have a generically miserable time.
(And it’s not like I’m making them go mountain climbing, I’m just hoping for a nice dinner and a walk somewhere romantic and they’ll combo show up late, not like the place, and we won’t get to the walk because I’ll be done by then. And these were not sugar dates.)

Someone was asking me the other day why I don’t date and I’m was just like.
“I’ve got a choice of going out romantically or going out with friends, and if someone can’t bring something more than what my friends offer than why would I go out with them?”

And since most guys my age can’t/won’t pick up the tab or plan a fun night out?

Why date?

 

[DanniCake]

I feel like I’m being a bit bitter here but I guess I just read too many romance novels about falling in love with the “one” and everything being perfect and I’ve yet to meet anyone who really makes my heart go pitter patter. Meanwhile I have friends who are serial daters and constantly have their hearts broken by these guys where I’m just like “???? Whyyy are you with this dude he’s a scrub???”

I’m still looking for love but maybe I just have no patience for it?

 

[Sudsy]

Hmmm.... I really didn't "date" back in Canada. I worked in a couple of clubs, and the social scene around club staff was basically a non-stop string of casual hookups. I don't think any of us had exclusive partners. Regular partners, yes. Exclusive no.

 

[TheScientist]

Honestly I wonder if it’s a generational thing or it’s a personality thing.

Having been young and strapped for cash once myself, I got really good at finding low cost/free stuff to do on dates. Even if that meant a picnic dinner of whatever I could whip up on the few bucks I had or had borrowed. I cant understand how young guys today dont make the same level of effort.

As for the older guys, if you made the effort to plan the date and they pouted, thats horribly lame. Dont those guys ever plan the date?

I’m still looking for love but maybe I just have no patience for it?

Maybe I'm at the tail end of the generation where girls didn't expect Prince Charming (even if of course they loved the story). Romance stories never cover the hard work of relationships. I never got married and lived happily ever after myself so cant tell people to go find Mr or Ms Right. Lots of life decisions I made (but won't go into in public) pretty well made the "and they lived happily ever after" for me impossible. OTOH I cant encourage anyone to be an old bachelor or crazy cat lady either.

 

[DanniCake]

As for the older guys, if you made the effort to plan the date and they pouted, thats horribly lame. Dont those guys ever plan the date?

Nope.

Funny thing is that I've gone on some great "Friend Dates" with people, one of my best male buddies would take me out for dinner and movies all the time, I loved going on long walks with him and just finding tiny hole-in-the-wall places. Another one of my male friends, we go hunting for cool cafe's to check out together all the time, I've got lots of guy friends I go on "dates" with just none of them end in anything romantic. I've got lots of girl friends too where we do "romantic date like" stuff together so it's not like I'm not experiencing fun date culture, I just never get /that/ from anyone who expresses romantic/sexual interest in me.

Meanwhile the guys that do have sexual interest in me act like they're doing me a favour by spending time in my general vicinity.

I wonder if it might be caused by that whole book/movie "The Game" I mean I read the book so the whole "Pretend like you're not into a hot girl so that she'll go out with you" thing is what they're attempting to do? Meanwhile I'm just like "Nah bro, if you're not at minimum somewhat fun to hang out with, I'm done."

Meanwhile on the other end of it, the few paid dates I've been on I've had a BLAST for the majority of them. (One was kinda "meh" because he got sulky at the end because we were taking a walk in the park and he didn't like that there were so many tourists around. Meanwhile he's also a tourist... Anyway.)
Might just be an individual personality thing?

 

[TheScientist]

Nope.

That just aint right! Even guys I know in their 40s have the same outlook as me and I'm in my late 50s.

Funny thing is that I've gone on some great "Friend Dates" with people, one of my best male buddies would take me out for dinner and movies all the time, I loved going on long walks with him and just finding tiny hole-in-the-wall places. Another one of my male friends, we go hunting for cool cafe's to check out together all the time, I've got lots of guy friends I go on "dates" with just none of them end in anything romantic.

See thats how actual dates are supposed to be, thats what guys who have interest are supposed to do. Can I be forward enough to ask if you have any interest in any of those fellows and if so have you considered making a move on him?

I wonder if it might be caused by that whole book/movie "The Game"

Cant say, for me thats literally "kids stuff" and well after my time anyway. For me a male who does that is not a man.

Might just be an individual personality thing?

Dont know you well enough to say how you'd fit with men I know.

 

[Frenchy]

And since most guys my age can’t/won’t pick up the tab or plan a fun night out?

Why date?

Why should they?

 

[TAG Manager]

But on the other side, I’ve planned dates with guys older than me who can afford to do things, and they’ll kind of go with the plan, but be sort of grumpy at being made to do anything and have a generically miserable time.
(And it’s not like I’m making them go mountain climbing, I’m just hoping for a nice dinner and a walk somewhere romantic and they’ll combo show up late, not like the place, and we won’t get to the walk because I’ll be done by then. And these were not sugar dates.)

Clearly you've been looking in the wrong places. Or, just happen to attract the wrong type, the grumpy type? I don't doubt that there are grumpy people out there... but I usually book a plan that satisfies both of us and I'm certainly not complaining while doing something that I probably planned.

Even if the date doesn't end with fireworks or enough attraction to compel a 2nd date, then I'll push my way through and enjoy it as much as possible till the end.

This reply was stuck in draft, meant to post it awhile ago.

 

[Majestyk]

Lennon and McCartney were right. “Love was such an easy game to play” back in the day.

University days were an amazing time for me to meet and date different girls, despite having no money. Personality, a large network of friends and mutual interests in school were far more important than money at that time.

The lovely ladies I dated in school were either experimenting, interested in having their first boyfriend, just going with the flow, or plain curious. Didn’t matter to me. I went with the flow.

I had great and bad times. Still, I learned a lot from everyone I dated. I’ve kept in touch with some of them, haven’t heard about others again and a handful have become lifelong friends with me.

Dating, however, took a back seat when I entered the workforce and started to establish a professional career. It was neither comfortable nor natural for me when I started dating again, as I earned more and did a lot of traveling on the job. I just thought I was rusty, but it really was different. Personality and mutual interests helped, but these were just a couple of pieces in the puzzle. Some dates felt like a job interview, others were either friendly or had no chemistry at all, while a few went all the way to something serious.

The failure of one of those serious relationships, as I’ve shared in one of my early posts on TAG, eventually led me to be more active in P4P. I’ve stopped looking for a regular boy-meets-girl date anymore. It’ll happen when it happens. I’m just glad to survive all the wandering I’ve done and the relationships I’ve had through the years. Thank you for reading this post.

 

[Troilist]

I came from a very strict family so I didn’t date much in high school. I had to sneak around to go on dates with my boyfriend at the time. We did simple and pretty common things amongst most teenagers like, going to the movies, hanging out at parties, homecoming dances, football games, and went to friends houses after school.

Due to some family obligations, I didn’t date much in college until my senior year. One guy took me to a local amusement park. We would hang out with friends at a local pizza shop on campus. But with lack of funding, with other guys I dated, we mainly rented movies to watch in their dorm room. I remembered watching the movie, Chasing Amy which was the movie that piqued my interest in girls. I also started dating my husband that same year and our favorite thing to do was to play pool at a local pool hall.

I was never one who enjoyed the dating scene/process so I feel lucky to have met and clicked with my husband early on. Having been married for 18 years now, I couldn’t imagine playing the dating game again. I see what my younger single friends go through as they try to find a serious partner and it’s quite excruciating to witness, imo.

I would say dating back then was more about the foreplay of dating which eventually lead up to sex, guys also seemed to behave more like gentlemen at least that was my personal experience and the conversations were deeper and with more substance. Through observation and imo, I would say the dating scene now is heavily focused on sex (how fast can I get laid) rather than actually connecting with both men and women. The social skills of men are quite lacking and the traditional mindset of setting goals and working hard towards a united future doesn’t seem to play a big component either. The current dating scene also seems to be very self focused.

 

[newbie]

In the early to mid 2000's, girls used to care that I played guitar