Why Are You Not Having Sex With Men?

User#16452 said:
I do find it a little strange that you can't acknowledge how handsome some men (@Damian being a prime example) can be. I mean, I'm not into horses, but I even I would not deny that this horse puts the "beauty" in "Black Beauty".
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First off, that's one weird and freaky looking horse imo! I'm saying this as someone who was once, long ago, fairly interested in horses, but not in any sexual way...same as with men and furniture.

Second and more importantly, I did not mean that I cannot recognize beauty in men or furniture; it is just not a beauty that affects to me personally in a sexual way, not for men nor for furniture.

In fact, I am reasonably good at identifying men who women will find sexually attractive. You will recall a male friend of mine whom I told you was a hottie and to whom I then introduced you...with "interesting" results...a couple of years ago. You told me that I have good taste in men afterwards. In other words, seeing and acknowledging it are one thing but feeling it sexually yourself is another.

Clearer?

-Ww
 
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Wwanderer said:
Second and more importantly, I did not mean that I cannot recognize beauty in men or furniture; it is just not a beaurty that affects to me personally in a sexual way, not for men nor for furniture.
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In @Wwanderer's defense, he did mention I was @User#16452's type when he saw me.

By the way, PM for considerations for those questioning their sexuality ;)
 
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User#16452 said:
I do find it a little strange that you can't acknowledge how handsome some men (@Damian being a prime example) can be. I mean, I'm not into horses, but I even I would not deny that this horse puts the "beauty" in "Black Beauty".
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I can feel when men are attractive or not. I may appreciate a well proportioned, shape male body ... But the final feeling is not attraction, it's more a sense of beauty. When same applies to female, the sense of aesthetics comes with a strong desire.
 
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Let me add a perhaps irrelevant aside that I occasionally encounter women who are to me extremely beautiful in an aesthetic sense but who don't seem particularly sexy to me. Their beauty is more that of a work of art than of a human body, if that makes any sense. I don't really understand why tbh, but it is a reaction (or lack thereof) which I typically get to some glamour models. My perception of them is at least somewhat like my perception of a particularly handsome man or elegant piece of furniture.

-Ww
 
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Wwanderer said:
Let me add a perhaps irrelevant aside that I occasionally encounter women who are to me extremely beautiful in an aesthetic sense but who don't seem particularly sexy to me. Their beauty is more that of a work of art than of a human body, if that makes any sense. I don't really understand why tbh, but it is a reaction (or lack thereof) which I typically get to some glamour models. My perception of them is at least somewhat like my perception of a particularly handsome man or elegant piece of furniture.

-Ww
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Very good point.
Our sense of beauty is triggered by symmetry, harmony. It's much more universal in this respect.
Our desires by some more specific shapes, colors, scents.
Much more linked to our own emotional , sensual memory.
 
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Wwanderer said:
Let me add a perhaps irrelevant aside that I occasionally encounter women who are to me extremely beautiful in an aesthetic sense but who don't seem particularly sexy to me.
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This. I have tried to explains this to myself that I view these women like something I see at an art gallery. While I recognise the beauty I would not like to take one home.
 
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User#16452 said:
I do find it a little strange that you can't acknowledge how handsome some men can be
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I could easily have sex with a guy. The idea doesn't disgust me or anything and I would already know pretty well how all the bits work and feel. However the whole idea doesn't interest or excite me at all. So for me it would be as much fun as watching paint to dry. Also I have no idea about who is handsome and who is not. Brain works in mysterious ways.
 
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For the same reason I don't have sex with parakeets-not interested!

parakeet-playing-with-golf-ball.jpg
 
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Wwanderer said:
Personally I don't feel disgust at the idea of homosexual activities or at witnessing them, rather (almost all) other men just seem sexually neutral to me, like a piece of furniture or something. The idea of, say, kissing them seems slightly absurd, pointless and completely unmotivated. Knowing that there are men who are sexually attacted to other men, I have a little curiosity about the whole thing, but it feels like just a vague intellectual curiosity. It would be like learning that there are people who like to have sex with tables and chairs; I'd think something like, "How odd! I wonder why and how they experience that?"



At the risk of igniting another (and doubtless repetitive) round of the trans debate, I still have to note that sex with a trans woman and sex with a man are not remotely the same sort of experience according to those who do or have done both. In that sense, I think you have had no sex with a man regardless of how the wave function were to collapse in this Schrodinger porblem. In other words, it is probably not relevant to this discussion.

-Ww
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Do you mean you don't kiss and have sex with your furniture? :eek:
 
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To be honest, I'm not completely convinced by the argument of the lack of interest.
When gays are describing me, how good it is to have sex with another man, how stronger is the pleasure between two males that know men sensuality better than any woman could possibly know, I would feel at least curious about it.

What stops me is the disgust/repulsion I mentioned earlier.
I could understand that moral issues could play too.

例えば, multiple people are telling me how fantastic playing cricket is, how much good time they had playing cricket over the last week end, and they invite me to join them the following week, I would definitely consider joining despite my basic complete lack of interest for the activity (I remind you I'm a French dude who doesn't know anything about cricket).

Disclaimer : sorry for not being consensual. I just want to be convinced there...
 
Damian said:
Those are quite strong words you use there...

Care to describe the disgust/repulsion to us ?
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Sure.
When I picture myself mentally having sexual intimacy with a man, I feel an emotion called disgust, easily recognisable by the tendency to display a "yuck face" (studied by Paul Eckman), a slight slow down of my heart beat and a feeling there is something wrong located in my stomach. The basic physiological response to something you feel is repugnant.
I don't want to be offensive... I'm just trying to be descriptive.

As far as I heard and read, disgust can be hardwired in our brain (genetic component) or a part of a learning process through unpleasant situations (linked to our emotional memory).
May be I was told it was a very bad thing when I was 6 years old with some shocking comment, may be it's something else.

My point is not that everybody should feel the same actually, more that I don't buy the lack of interest argument.
 
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hkAlone said:
Sure.
When I picture myself mentally having sexual intimacy with a man, I feel an emotion called disgust, easily recognisable by the tendency to display a "yuck face" (studied by Paul Eckman), a slight slow down of my heart beat and a feeling there is something wrong located in my stomach. The basic physiological response to something you feel is repugnant.
I don't want to be offensive... I'm just trying to be descriptive.

As far as I heard and read, disgust can be hardwired in our brain (genetic component) or a part of a learning process through unpleasant situations (linked to our emotional memory).
May be I was told it was a very bad thing when I was 6 years old, may be it's something else.

My point is not that everybody should feel the same actually, more that I don't buy the lack of interest argument.
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Thanks, even when I dont agree with you at all (and thats perfectly fine actually), you were the only one to provide an honest answer to a question that to start with, it sounded like joke.

Again, I do appreciate your honesty.
 
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hkAlone said:
To be honest, I'm not completely convinced by the argument of the lack of interest.
When gays are describing me, how good it is to have sex with another man, how stronger is the pleasure between two males that know men sensuality better than any woman could possibly know, I would feel at least curious about it.

What stops me is the disgust/repulsion I mentioned earlier.
I could understand that moral issues could play too.

例えば, multiple people are telling me how fantastic playing cricket is, how much good time they had playing cricket over the last week end, and they invite me to join them the following week, I would definitely consider joining despite my basic complete lack of interest for the activity (I remind you I'm a French dude who doesn't know anything about cricket).

Disclaimer : sorry for not being consensual. I just want to be convinced there...
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I've seen this argument, put up by some homosexuals and it's commonly repeated somewhat in popular media, that same sex is "better" because they are more familiar with the "equipment".

Sex doesn't work that way. A woman doesn't necessarily know how to please another woman better than a man or is more skillful, or the reverse in man to man vs woman. In swinger clubs, I taught bi-sexual women how to do G-spot stimulation. Some had no clue, or were terrible at it (as beginners) for various reasons. I also have a technique of tonguing and sucking a woman's clit, that I can get various women to cum like crazy, and was asked how to do this by bisexual women.

I have a girlfriend that's an absolute master with penis and giving blowjobs. Doesn't get much better than her. It's about the enthusiasm and talent of the individual to learn, not just they are male or female.

1) Sex is a skill. And the level reached depends on the person.

2) You can know an individual person more than anybody else.

A person that had sex with person X for 6 months, can have an advantage over person Y that had sex with them only twice.

The advantage is not always there as various people are lazy, bored, or sexually limited. However, it can be, that they know a particular person better than anybody else.

3) Sex is in the mind, as Ww stated as well.

A gay person enjoys sex with another gay person, because that is their thinking process. They are getting pleasure and feel comfortable with the same sex. A heterosexual feels better with and enjoys the opposite sex.

Just like the gay person doesn't feel right with the opposite sex, heterosexuals don't feel right with the same sex. They can be doing similar acts, but it's how they think and process it that's different.
 
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hkAlone said:
例えば, multiple people are telling me how fantastic playing cricket is, how much good time they had playing cricket over the last week end, and they invite me to join them the following week, I would definitely consider joining despite my basic complete lack of interest for the activity
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I do not really understand why you don't understand but the cricket example is brilliant. Because I have friends who are fanatical about cricket as well as friends who are quite fond of gay sex. To the point of being gay and all ;).

I have seen both cricket and gay sex in TV several times and I have even been invited to play cricket once. Didn't even consider going. I have never been offered money to play cricket but I have been offered money to be in the receiving end of a gay blowjob. I found that hilarious but didn't take the offer. That's how little I am interested.

If I was forced to do either one I would probably select gay sex. At least it would be over sooner :D. Then again if you take for example lacrosse and a girl with a strap-on. Don't feel very interested and haven't tried either one but with some convincing you could probably persuade me to try. Brain works in mysterious ways.
 
first of all tldr

second of all i ofter ask myself the same question. i think that maybe its because im not comfortable with the idea of a penis up my ass. but i wouldnt mind fucking a guys ass. i had 2 guys, on different occasions, to suck my dick. one of them was like a record, he made me cum in like 30 seconds. dmn that was the best BJ i ever had really lol

edit: ooo memories haha it was a 7 day psychedelic trance festival at the beach and he had had an argue with his boyfriend who kicked him from their tent. so he was like homeless and i felt sorry, so i said hey dude, u can sleep in my tent but no homo, he was ok and then asked if he could suck me off at least.... it ended up pretty homo i guess haha
 
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User#16452 said:
I do find it a little strange that you can't acknowledge how handsome some men (@Damian being a prime example) can be. I mean, I'm not into horses, but I even I would not deny that this horse puts the "beauty" in "Black Beauty".
Click to expand...
i can totally see that horse with white face painting headbanging his way into a black metal gig HAHAHA
 
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hkAlone said:
What stops me is the disgust/repulsion I mentioned earlier.
I could understand that moral issues could play too.
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I can completely relate to this. I have no morale reservation against being gay or whatsoever (neither am I religious), but the idea of kissing giving / receiving bj etc. And no it's not all imaginary, I have been approached by rather attractive guys. The feeling of repulsion is very strong.
A bit comparable to durian fruit for me. Even knowing that the taste is sweet (I tried), I can't bear the stink... and then I have thai friends telling me it actually smells good. Our brain works wonderous ways.

I have no trouble admitting that a guy looks good, just seems my genes are geared very strongly towards reproduction ;)
 
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RandomTokyoGuy said:
I can completely relate to this. I have no morale reservation against being gay or whatsoever (neither am I religious), but the idea of kissing giving / receiving bj etc. And no it's not all imaginary, I have been approached by rather attractive guys. The feeling of repulsion is very strong.
A bit comparable to durian fruit for me. Even knowing that the taste is sweet (I tried), I can't bear the stink... and then I have thai friends telling me it actually smells good. Our brain works wonderous ways.

I have no trouble admitting that a guy looks good, just seems my genes are geared very strongly towards reproduction ;)
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Point taken,

Even when that word has a lot of weigh, I can only admit that sometimes I could be able to feel that repulsion you guys are talking about.
Not just with men, but with women as well.

I guess in my case is more about the person and that "chemistry", and not the genre...

But judging by the thread's answer, having sex with another man is being linked directly with being gay...
Why is that?
 
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RandomTokyoGuy said:
I have no trouble admitting that a guy looks good, just seems my genes are geared very strongly towards reproduction ;)
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If that was true then you would feel disgusted by the thought of using a condom :p.
 
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Damian said:
But judging by the thread's answer, having sex with another man is being linked directly with being gay...
Why is that?
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Hmm, reading my post it could be understood that way. I haven't put much thought in what makes one gay, as categorizing people by sexual orientation isn't something I do. Whether someone is gay, bi, bi-curious or simply too drunk to notice the difference has no impact on how I treat the person.
Besides that such orientation can change. I have a good friend who was 100% lesbian (her words not mine) who is now happily married to a guy and have seen the opposite too.
So why put a label at people in the first place at all? ;)
 
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