.

[dreams]

I don't disagree with the fact P4P is better than having affair, it's safer and all.
but better or not you can't tell me someone married who uses P4P doesn't know he's doing something that may ruin his marriage. he's taking a risk just by seing an escort and if he doesn't use condom he's taking a lot more risks so either he's (consiously or unconsiously) willing to take the risk or he's really super naive.
and I still think if someone get busted and has to divorce, the cause of the divorce won't be the how he was busted but what he was busted for.
I also think it's not fair to share the responsibility with the escort. the escort doesn't owe anyone, it's the married guy's duty to do what it takes to keep the secret.

Again, you are making assumptions, one of them being that a wife would file for divorce if she gets to know about her husband having p4p activities.. Nothing can be further from the truth than this... Women are far more intelligent than you seem to believe, and most (not all, I agree...) are not going to jeopardize their life and family because hubby just went for a p4p meeting...
I guess this difference of opinion may come from a generational gap; I may agree that soon after marrying, my wife would have been upset if i was going elsewhere for sexual satisfaction, but after decades, frankly....After some years, marriage is not anymore about sex, but children, family, and essentially mutual support with whatever unwanted life throws at you. I need my wife more to help me, for example, when I am stucked at home with a backache, unable to move. Sex , I can get with escorts, but no escort will come to bring me tea, and/or help me when I need it. And when my wife needs me as well, I am there, when her father dies, or she learns that has cancer, or when the last child leaves home.... There no sex there, but just simply love. . . In fact many women are relieved that hubby gets his hormones satisfied elsewhere, without having either to go through repeated unwanted sex activities (from their point of view), or worse, having long term costly affairs with other women...
I guess your misconception about marriage can come from your own unlucky experience, or perhaps it is a generational issue, you may be much younger than me, and so would your wife be... I understand that young people may be depressed at the idea that at some point , their marriage may be a sexless affair, but believe me, it's not a problem...thanks to our lovely escorts.

In conclusion I still have at my age a very high level of sexual appetite, whether this is not so often the case in "elderly, (meaning my age)" women. So what's wrong if I can get my problems solved by visiting escorts, at time and price which does not interfer with my wife/family life?

Which is why I have so much affection for all the women, p4p essentially, that have been (and hopefully will still in the future) kind enough to provide me with their services, while I could continue a happy loving married life...

 

[dreams]

So true... Actually , there is a thread, I think, in one of the most read forum, ISG, which is called " The morality of mongering", or something like that. . I suggest that our beloved mods, either send all those comments there, or create a similar thread on TAG, so those who wish can debate the topic there.

 

[Wwanderer]

So true...

What is so true? I am egotistically hopeful that you are referring to my previous post.

create a similar thread on TAG, so those who wish can debate the topic there.

http://www.tokyoadultguide.com/threads/is-p4p-immoral.9775/

-Ww

 

[dreams]

Sorry, yes I was referring to your post.. And sorry, again, I just reinvented fresh air.. So why not having our mods gently moving those discussions where it belongs?

 

[e-smile]

Again, you are making assumptions, one of them being that a wife would file for divorce if she gets to know about her husband having p4p activities..

that's not an assumption, that's the very hypthesis I was answering to :

Good point. I hate the idea that I might pass something onto a gentleman. Not only because of disease, but it might break up a marriage by showing evidence of "cheating". Not to mention the risk of infertility (chlamydia) and a lower life expectancy (HIV).

so if you wanted to talk about a different hypothetis then you're quoting the wrong guy

and also :

Women are far more intelligent than you seem to believe

you're the one making assumptions here. there is nothing in what I said referring to women's intelligence.

 

[dreams]

OK,OK, I am not here to "fight, or even argue.. Nothing personal, I was just giving another perspective... Let's leave it there... And at least agree on one thing: we don't do BB with escorts, even if the reasons for this may not be the same...

 

[Sudsy]

It's always a bit surprising me that many guys are more afraid to make a girl pregnant than catching an STD/STI.... Can anybody explain this to me?

An STI is something you treat - a child is a moral and legal responsibility and a financial liability, in addition to being a permanent tie to the escort, not to mention the social implications of having an illegitimate child.

 

[Solong]

I don't disagree with the fact P4P is better than having affair, it's safer and all.
but better or not you can't tell me someone married who uses P4P doesn't know he's doing something that may ruin his marriage. he's taking a risk just by seing an escort and if he doesn't use condom he's taking a lot more risks so either he's (consiously or unconsiously) willing to take the risk or he's really super naive.
and I still think if someone get busted and has to divorce, the cause of the divorce won't be the how he was busted but what he was busted for.
I also think it's not fair to share the responsibility with the escort. the escort doesn't owe anyone, it's the married guy's duty to do what it takes to keep the secret.

E-smile does have a point and more:

1) Financial Problems

The P4P relationship may create a financial strain or negatively affect family finances, so the wife is angry on those grounds.

She can also be resentful of the amount of money spent on the sex-worker and not her.

2) STD Risk

The wife may object to simply being put at risk, regardless of the merits of any arguments involving safe sex with a sex-worker. In fact she may think it's less safe, rather than more safe, and there are arguments in both directions. She may also not trust about what actually happened, and can have every reason to, considering the husband cheated and probably destroyed any trust.

3) Cheating In General

The fact the husband cheated, regardless of who or how, can be that's the reason for her anger or seeking a divorce.

For those that doubt such, let's reverse the situation. If you caught your wife cheating, would her claiming she pays a male gigolo for sex, make it any less emotionally painful, you less angry, or hurt your pride less?

 

[nailedit]

Many, maybe even most, people think commercial sex itself is morally wrong, but it is unwise to let others determine what is morally wrong for you imo.

-Ww

I stated my opinion. No one else determined for me.

 

[Hofmeyer]

I came very close to barebacking a girl once. Was at Kings Club, where some of the girls do offer nama, but she wasn't one of them. We just seriously clicked and were going at it hard. I was about a second from entering her when I looked at her for permission and she kinda nodded... but I hesitated for too long and the mood kinda vanished a little. She was a real sweetie too, shortest working girl I've ever been with too, 144cm. She vanished into the real world though, haven't seen her there again or anywhere else.

 

[Manami TMK]

I never offer bareback full service but I have been asked enough numbers to surprise you.
I am an escort, have a website, put ad here and there. In many years of my escort experience, they must have some idea how many guys I have slept with in past. I am regularly checked but sadly checkup is for cure, not for precaution. You have no idea what kind of disease providers carry at this time. This is the reason why I always use a protection both for work and private.

 

[MacMackerson]

Two risk from condom-less sex:

Pregnancy
and
STD

Condom use has a linear relationship to pregnancy risk
Condom use has an exponential relationship to STD risk

Over the long term

 

[Wwanderer]

Two risk from condom-less sex:

Pregnancy
and
STD

Condom use has a linear relationship to pregnancy risk
Condom use has an exponential relationship to STD risk

Over the long term

For extra credit, explain why!

-Ww

 

[MacMackerson]

I was confusing:

So the idea is that irregardless of condom use the population of people that can get pregnant remains constant (actually it would decrease since some women would be pregnant at the time and couldn't become 'double pregnant' (unless thats a real thing?)

So an increase in condomless sex would have a linear relationship with pregnancy. Although in the very long run more pregnancy increases the overall population who could become pregnant.

Whereas an increase in condomless sex does increase the number of people with STDs thereby increase the likelihood of catching an STD from condomless sex. So the more people doing it the riskier it becomes.

Anywho, even if you you bareback yourself it is still in your benefit to vilify it to others as it lowers the pool of STD infected people.

 

[sidd88]

im from malaysia and would never, some conditions like HIV have a latent period- takes few months for test to become positive so monthly testing can miss it..not worth it!

 

[Mischa Maxwell]

I've been offered money for BB sex only the once, turned it down and asked said gentleman to leave. Such a thing would completely freak me out. Is it worth risking your health and possibly your private relationship for 15 minutes of fun? Most definitely not.

Chlamydia often has zero side effects and women don't realise that they have it until they try to get pregnant and find that they are infertile. It can't be detected in a blood test either- you need to provide a urine specimen.

There was a case in Australia where a client had seen one escort/porn star and then developed a sore on his penis a week later. He thought it was from masturbating too much. He posted a pic of the sore online, while still gushing about how much he adored this escort/pornstar.
He went to the Dr, discovered that it was herpes (not sure if type 1 or 2). He's now online telling everyone that she gave him herpes and to beware. I have no idea whether this whole incident occurred due to BB sex, although this girl has done BB sex in some of her porn.
This is awful PR for the girl, and bad for the guy.

In short, any provider who offers BB sex is putting all of us at risk. Also, it's important for clients to be tested regularly, just as escorts are.

I have tried female condoms before, and my partner said that the feeling was very close to BB.

 

[kitkat]

I managed it once with an Okinawa provider without mentioning it. Shame I lost on 2hrs of time by letting her go before the 2hr was up
at 30m

 

[dreams]

I've been offered money for BB sex only the once, turned it down and asked said gentleman to leave. Such a thing would completely freak me out. Is it worth risking your health and possibly your private relationship for 15 minutes of fun? Most definitely not.

Chlamydia often has zero side effects and women don't realise that they have it until they try to get pregnant and find that they are infertile. It can't be detected in a blood test either- you need to provide a urine specimen.

There was a case in Australia where a client had seen one escort/porn star and then developed a sore on his penis a week later. He thought it was from masturbating too much. He posted a pic of the sore online, while still gushing about how much he adored this escort/pornstar.
He went to the Dr, discovered that it was herpes (not sure if type 1 or 2). He's now online telling everyone that she gave him herpes and to beware. I have no idea whether this whole incident occurred due to BB sex, although this girl has done BB sex in some of her porn.
This is awful PR for the girl, and bad for the guy.

In short, any provider who offers BB sex is putting all of us at risk. Also, it's important for clients to be tested regularly, just as escorts are.

I have tried female condoms before, and my partner said that the feeling was very close to BB.

Yes, it should be as you say, but let's be realistic, it is not.

More than once, and not only in Japan, have I found myself about to enter BB, without realizing it, because my provider was leading me in... In all cases but one, did I realise on time and did not go in. In the only other case, I pulled out after some time... I got myself tested afterwards and was clear..

At the end, this is not a zero risk job/hobby, but no more than driving a car. We just all need to be as careful as we can..