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Discussion in 'Off-Topic / Random Chit-Chat' started by Keiji, Apr 27, 2012.
Is that site good or is it scam?
there is real people on there, but 9 out of 10 are scammers of one type or the other.
Yup not much good on the site keep on getting winks from the states and the same old scam mail
You might want to check out
The #1 Sugar Daddy Dating & Sugar Baby Personals
instead. It is also a very mixed bag...all sorts of people looking for a huge variety of different things, but the quality and yield seem to be much higher than AFF.
AFF is rubbish!
not that rubbish. I have met 6 women out of AFF and I had sex on the first meeting with 2 of them (1 of them I have met and banged again and again); I have not met again 3 of them, kept in touch with 1 without ever having sex. Clearly do not ask me about nicks/names, but it's possible. I think I could have met more, but didn't spend too long chatting and emailing
there are some that can be too pushy too quickly but not a total loss either, just depends on what you're looking for
Ive met a few women from AFF but in general I think there are a lot of women who sign up but never actually meet anyone. I never really experienced a 'scam' from AFF, just women/people who have no interest in actually meeting.
1. Too many FAKE profiles
2. Too many MEN to women. Like 15 guys per 1 woman, especially in Japan.
3. Very WEAK coverage in Japan
AFF has more women and a better ratio in the U.S. and other countries. For Japan and Korea, AFF is horrible.
Very few Japanese know to use AFF. They often use Japanese only websites.
4. AFF is NOT good for single heterosexual men, so it ends up just taking their money
Swinger couples looking for swap partners, gay men, and old/ugly women are getting benefit from the website.
5. AFF tries to DISTRACT and SCAM single heterosexual men by OFFERING PORN.
So instead of hooking up, they try to get you to watch amateur or pro porn movies, or chat with professional models.
6. AFF Management
They have never got their act together. They were accused by many of being a SCAM site from the beginning and have never become a good hookup site. Instead they rather SPAM e-mail accounts and other websites with advertisements.
You can hook up on AFF, but it's more like playing the slot machine or lotto. Very random and not anything to count on.
Much better to use regular dating sites that do a better job of covering Japan.
That sounds nice. Thank you.
Can you or anyone give name of any adult dating website that is effective.
Just registered there for grins and giggles and looked around. And whaddoyouknow? Our very own Kitty is there, looking for a sugardaddy at a pitch of 5000-10000 USD/month.
Small world... hey Kitty, if you are OK with a couple of draft beers, I am game any time
Note that she wasn't there when I made the post you quoted back in May 2012. In other words, my post was not intended to point to Kitty's SA profile in any sense.
I did not say that or suggest that! I am just impressed by Kitty`s marketing campaign, LOL
Indeed you did not, but as a veteran of the internet since it connected less than 200 machines (my first network email account did not even contain an "@" symbol!), I am very aware of how easily misunderstandings arise online, and just quoting my post raises the possibility of someone thinking I had something to do with Kitty or your revelation that she might also have a sugar side.
Btw, many many pro-escorts also have SA and other sugar site profiles...not unusual at all, though using the same screen name and photos as they use for escort work is a good bit rarer I think.
I actually made that profile before I went pro, forgot I'd done it... and then got an email in August from a gentleman which turned into my first ever sugar date. I remember saying to him 'I'm thinking of going pro - I've always fantasised about it', and he said: 'Oh no, don't do that!' 笑
Regarding the suggested allowance: the first rule of business is to start high and negotiate, n'est pas? People active on that site know that the numbers on profiles don't mean much. It's more an indication - like a pro escort's rates - of a girl's self-confidence and what she thinks she's 'worth'. There are of course also men worth millions on that site for whom $5000 is peanuts and who are actually willing to pay an allowance of that size.
Certainly, I'm going about this dating thing all wrong, just plain wrong!
Haha! Depends what you're in the market for! I'm sure you're the same given you seem to be a successful professional woman, but in my personal life how much a guy makes is not something that's a top priority, given I can more than adequately take care of myself. I'm not saying no to a sexy millionaire, though!
I suspect that you and I are of a similar "vintage" Let's just say my first email addresses was before they invented the .COM/.EDU/.GOV thing, thanks to MIT. Boy, things have changed, haven't they? The 'net has certainly made it easier for people to connect with one another, far beyond the dreams of the inventors. And in ways they probably never imagined, too!
It has also allowed people to "see" each other in a more intimate way, based on what and how they express themselves. You can see behind the curtain to what's really inside some people based on what and how they write, in addition to pictures, names and descriptions.
By the way...
"The Internet is for Porn!" - Ave Q
Early on, decades before social media and well before the web even, one of the real pioneers of the net once said, "Online you see people through their own eyes."
And yeah, the internet has changed and has changed the world more than I could have ever even come close to imagining in those early days...just mind boggling when you stop and think about it.
Trying to stay a little bit in context here, its effect on the world of commercial sex alone is staggering. If you were a regular monger, as I was, in the time before there was even the slightest p4p online activities/presence, the difference between a totally opaque market and the current semi-transparent one alone is incredible.
Normal dating and classified websites are more effective than AFF or so-called "adult dating websites" FOR Japan, in my opinion.
JapanCupid (the most worth it pay site for Japan)
OkCupid (make a good profile, asks lots of questions)
Happymail (better if you know some Japanese)
Ashley Madison, is popping up as a possible site of consideration according to 1 friend at this time. They now have a website that recruits Japanese women.
Language exchange and certain Pen-pal sites (these are NOT date sites, but some guys might want to give them a try. It's more indirect and the guy needs to be more cautious and careful when e-mailing. Just focus on meeting. Teach some English, learn Japanese, have a good time at dinner, and feel the vibe if more is possible).
List: Japan-guide.com/penfriend , MyLanguageExchange, Metropolis Classifieds - Language Exchange, penpal-net.info , interpals.net , etc...
The key for single guys is to get a date, then go for it from that point. Where certain guys seems to have problems is how to "sexualize" or sexually escalate the date interaction, so they want to have some type of guaranteed or expectation of sex beforehand.
It has been my experience, that unless the AFF date was a P4P situation, that it's no different than meeting women from any other date site or classified ad. And since other date sites have more women than AFF, the odds of going on a date for a week were way, way better. AFF is kind of random Lotto, where regular date sites produce much better results.
The one area that I find AFF to be decent at, and Craigslist to a certain extent too, is for SWINGER couples.
If you want to be a guy for couples or swap with other couples, then AFF might be worth it for you. And if you are a woman, transsexual, or a bi-sexual woman then AFF appears to be good for that too. A couple of my Japanese bi-sexual girlfriends, met lots of other women on AFF and Craigslist, which worked out well for me in 3-ways.
As for "sexualizing an interaction on a date"... Tips:
. Trying meeting after 4PM.
Avoid early afternoon dates from online, unless meeting married women, as that's different. Early afternoon dates tend to be women taking a peak and running, because they have setup multiple dates. Like see you for 2 hrs, then meet some other guy. Many guys don't know that it's common for online women to setup multiple dates in one day. Usually the guy meeting in the evening or the last date, has the best shot for sex.
. Try meeting between Thursday to Sunday.
I know this seems weird, but dates on Monday to Wednesday have more of a tendency to go nowhere because people are more concerned about work. The exception is a holiday or the person is off work on weekdays.
. Meet at a normal location at first (for safety and comfort with online dating), like a coffee shop or resteraunt, then MOVE to a more semi-private and/or dimly lit place after awhile.
This can be a Karaoke spot, disco with seating, bar with seating for couples, etc... Any place where you are more comfortable hugging and kissing ;-) The seating should be arranged in such a way that you can sit next to and close to her. Like a round table, counter, booth, or couch...
. Plan the date location, so that you are near a hotel or your apartment.
Preferably, where from the train station, you walk past your apartment or hotel to get to the resteraunt you are going (for example and if you don't have a car). If things go well, it's best if a guy knows a place nearby to go. Knowing that a hotel or your apartment is nearby, can "sexualize" the interaction in the woman's mind too.
. Have an seemingly innocent sexual conversation about a sexual topic.
Talk about fashionable lingerie, are the sexual fantasies of women the same or different from men, why some people prefer the light on or off during sex.... Nothing too graphic or vulgar. Somewhat questioneer like, light, and fun.
Sexual conversations get women thinking about sex and horny, if done properly.
Note- don't over do it with the "friendly" sex talk. Talk about lots of other things too. But the sex conversation should be memorable and main part of the talk for the night.
. A little alcohol is good
Next to money, alcohol is the 2nd best aphrodisiac for women. It also helps people relax.
Any way, these are just some helpful tips. Some guys are very awkward or clueless in dates with women and don't know how to smoothly get the interaction in the direction of a sexual encounter. Consequently, they waste oppourtunies when they have them or want sexual "guarantees". If a guy wants a guarantee, he should pay. And if he is gambling, he should arguably take his best shot, and see how it turns out.
I'd agree that Japan Cupid is a good site, but it depends on what you are interested in. There's a LOT of Japanese women on there, but I think most women there are looking for boyfriends/marriage material.
These tips are extremely good advice imo and quite effective in my experience.
Less seriously, the last one reminds me of the famous PJ O'Rourke quote: "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
This is an assumption that you are making. Nobody is going to demand that you propose marriage on the 1st date. And any woman expecting that is insane. Clearly you have to go through the regular dating process and relationship progression, even if she wants a boyfriend or to get married.
Marriage is an expectation after months or years of dating. Not everyone on the site has even stated they wanted to get married. Some of them are even there for language exchange, of all things. All things start off; be it FWB, boyfriend, or marriage by meeting 1st and checking actual chemistry between each other.
You should not always take what a woman's profile says as written in cement. As a matter a fact, don't even take her verbal opinion or what she says as written in cement on the 1st date either. Furthermore, many Japanese hide their true intentions in any public setting. This is called "honne and tatemae". As the online profile might have her picture and people might recognize her, she might pretend to be an "innocent good girl", when in actually, she is looking for a FWB or doesn't mind a sex-friend. The concept of faking one's innocence or one's intention is also called "kamatoto" or "furi o suru". Even after you have sex with her the 1st night, she might even claim to have "never done that before with any other guy on the 1st night". Who knows if this is really true or not, it's not like you were there to watch. ;-)
In fact, some women don't even use their real names online. And it's more common not to do so on some sites than others, and they all have such women.
If a woman likes you, they often/can/will have sex between the 1st and 3rd date. It depends on the guy she is interacting with.
In the cities, you are more anonymous. Many women will come from a different area of Tokyo or just outside of Tokyo to meet online guys for sex. That way, nobody in the area knows them and it's extremely unlikely anybody will catch them with you.
If the guy "tactfully" helps create the situation where sex is possible and she feels comfortable or safe with him, many women will have sex. If she choose your online profile (and based on the e-mail exchange), over others, you are clearly somewhat her type.
The guy selects where to meet, and chooses a place near a hotel or his apartment. He selects a day in which she can be out late or finds out days she usually goes out late with girlfriends (by asking in e-mail).
From there, after meeting some place very public for safety and talking or eating for 1 or 2 hours, you suggest going to a 2nd location. Her willingness to go to another location is a litmus test. How comfortable and safe she feels around you is a factor in this.
As I mentioned, the 2nd location should be some place you have the semi-privacy to hug and kiss her. Any place dimly lit, serving alcohol, and you can sit next/close to her. From there, the interaction rapidly "sexualizes" and it becomes clear if sex is possible and on her mind too. If you find yourself tongue kissing her, you might want go ahead head to that nearby hotel or your apartment. And for some guys, the 2nd location isn't another public place, but straight to the hotel. It depends on the rapport established with the woman.
Another key factor is the guy should have BALLS. Don't be afraid to be a man. An actually, despite anything some women say to the contrary, you being a man and making the 1st move is often appreciated. I even met a psychologist from an online dating site and thougt there was no freaking way we were going to have sex on the 1st night, BUT we DID. You need to NOT be scared of striking out. If she doesn't want to do anything that night, fine. Setup a date with ANOTHER woman OR meet her AGAIN for another date. If she meets you again, she knows you would like sex and she is even more likely to oblige.
And don't get hyper focused or overly obsessed with 1 online profile or just 1 date that week. By making 3 or 4 dates in a week, the odds of you having sex with one them goes up massively. As a matter of fact, guys who invite a lot of women on dates and go on a lot of 1 to 1 dates with women during the week, are the most likely to get laid, it's just plain math.
$5,000 a month = $60,000 a year. $10,000 a month = $120,000 a year. These numbers are equal to hiring an employee at a company. That is more money than many people make in Japan. Even a "barely" rich guy is going to feel the sting of that.
You must be talking about guys with "Arab Money".
Oh my god, that song. Offensiveness quota for the day has been reached.
Of course I'm not saying that's not a lot of money for normal people - and definitely in Japan where even executive salaries suck compared to the world average - but I'm talking about the type of visitors and expats who make seven figure salaries and/or own their own companies, who spend $7k on a first class plane ticket from the US to Japan, for example, to whom $120k a year on a mistress is a drop in the ocean. Their idea of a 'little gift' is a $5k Chanel bag. To which I obviously wouldn't (didn't) say no.