Anxiety

[ShibaKen]

So, I have done P4P about a dozen times or so, but I still get really anxious and nervous whenever i visit establishments or make phone calls. Sometimes I'd even have to walk around the block once or twice to prepare myself mentally to head into the building. I can't quite understand why, but It gets a whole lot better once I've met the girl.

I was wondering if anybody else has the same experience and if there was any advice to calm down and get rid of the nerves. Sorry if this sounds like a silly thread.

 

[rob040188]

I was wondering if anybody else has the same experience and if there was any advice to calm down and get rid of the nerves. Sorry if this sounds like a silly thread.

I'm no expert. But I think what you feel is quite normal.

but It gets a whole lot better once I've met the girl.

Agreed. Especially, if you try to have a conversation with them.

 

[User#8628]

Thats normal for me for about any establishment.

 

[Majestyk]

I was wondering if anybody else has the same experience and if there was any advice to calm down and get rid of the nerves. Sorry if this sounds like a silly thread.

Silly? Perish the thought. We’re punters in TAG.

I get butterflies in my stomach every single time I’m off on a date, P4P or not.

That’s the case because we’re taking on an adventure. It’s the body’s fight-or-flight response.

Just breathe calmly to relax yourself. Smile when you meet her.

It’s all good, man.

 

[ShibaKen]

Thanks for the replies all! I feel a lot better about my situation now!

 

[Coda87]

I suffer from this too. One time I found the establishment I was looking for, chickened out, then left and came back another time. It was worse when I first started P4P and has gotten better now that I had a few experiences.

 

[jhingy567]

I've only ever visited one establishment, but I had the same experience as well. So you're definitely not alone.
Also got super-anxious whenever i met someone new for p4p. Wonder how the girls deal with this. One reason I couldn't ever be a male escort.
In my experience getting enough sleep, exercise and having a good diet (avoid refined sugar) really helps in reducing baseline anxiety. Simonka gave some good advice too. But some people just have a predisposition to it and there's only so much you can do to help their anxiety.

 

[User#8628]

avoid refined sugar)

That explains why i’m a bundle of anxiety, lol

 

[RIDER 00]

I'm actually a stutterer and prone to anxiety attacks when facing new situations, but I've gotten past 95% of the barriers those cause in social interactions. It was horrible for me when I was a kid so I completely understand what you are going through. Despite all the hard work I have done to overcome this handicap, I still get attacks every now and then in my adult life. I don't let it get me down, though.

From my experience, the cause is mostly psychological (bad trauma, etc.),
The long-term solution is building self-confidence and developing a base for interaction. (How you talk to people in new situations)

Of course, getting this self-confidence is the hard part, but repetition and trial-and-error are what I can recommend. Basically, keep doing it until you get good and it and/or don't give a shit any more about embarrassing yourself in public.

Luckily, sexual performance has been kinder to me. I still mess up every now and again, but, like I said, I don't let it get me down. (My guy always wants to get right back up)

 

[VillagerB]

My anxiety used to be very bad. I grew up in a very traditional Asian household and was told to be the traditional "good" asian boy. This meaning dont talk, don't bother anyone, and basically, just study all the time.

Interaction with people probably didn't start until way later for me. As a kid, i would kind of paralyze and break into sweat when someone I didn't know was talking to me. Took a couple of friends and time for me to break that state of mind, which lasted until the end of college for me. I still get anxious around new people a bit though. Not as much as I use to.

I think time was a key factor in helping and definitely staying positive even though you keep tripping yourself. After a while and the more times you put your self into those situations, build more confidence, or be comfortable with yourself, the anxiousness slowly fades away. So i guess my advice is be positive, keep trying, and know that it takes time to get use to being anxious. Also, the feeling really never goes away lol. You just learn to cope with it.

It must have been about like 20 times for P4P until i got comfortable. Lol

 

[Manami TMK]

Hmm, I never get nervous to call a new agency to order a girl but that’s maybe because I am also a provider and I know how it works.

If I go overseas, try to calll one girl or two to my hotel room and if they or their agency tell me that they reject me not because I am also female but because I am Asian, I would feel a bit defeated probably... but yet I gotta accept it.

I believe I was relaxed when I had my very first client. I was more curious about what kind of man pays money for sex service than being worried myself. I was pure, innocent and a bit airhead, haha.

 

[faboo2001]

Thats normal for me for about any establishment.

Same. Though I wouldn't go as far and say it's an "anxiety" thing I can totally relate, especially if we're talking about a P4P situation. When you're about to give away a pretty big chunk of change for a service that you don't know for sure will go well, it would make sense to have some form of "hesitation" to go through with it.

 

[RIDER 00]

Same. Though I wouldn't go as far and say it's an "anxiety" thing I can totally relate, especially if we're talking about a P4P situation. When you're about to give away a pretty big chunk of change for a service that you don't know for sure will go well, it would make sense to have some form of "hesitation" to go through with it.

That certainly is one worry because P4P has an element of trust to it where you hope the girl won't try to rip you off and she's probably worried about the same thing. There's also the worry over if she meets your expectations and if you'll be able to perform well in bed.

Those are all legitimate reasons to worry, but they affect most if not almost all men in some way for P4P.

But, I think the OP is talking more about anxiety to meet or talk to new people and it's creating a barrier to even making a call in the first place.
This kind of problem isn't only limited to P4P. It could happen when trying to order food from the clerk at McDonald's or at the office when the executive wants you to report on the latest numbers.

If you ask me, this latter is the more serious issue and I have already posted my thoughts on how some of that can be handled through self-help.

 

[faboo2001]

That certainly is one worry because P4P has an element of trust to it where you hope the girl won't try to rip you off and she's probably worried about the same thing. There's also the worry over if she meets your expectations and if you'll be able to perform well in bed.

Those are all legitimate reasons to worry, but they affect most if not almost all men in some way for P4P.

Totally agree and pretty much the point with my post. Kind of a reassurance that regardless if it's an anxiety disorder/issue or not, it is something that practically all of us go through.

And looking at the OP's situation, I'm not sure if the anxiety is mostly coming from talking to or meeting new people as he said things become better once he meets the girl. Maybe it's about having to talk to a "third party" about your P4P session? I can totally understand how awkward and embarrassing it can be to talk about what kind of services you want during the session with another man/woman.

 

[jhingy567]

Personally, I'm not so concerned about getting ripped off, or the session not being worth the money. I try to only spend what I don't mind losing anyway. My anxieties are more to do with meeting someone new and the social 'embarrassment' of p4p (as someone who gets anxious easily, this doesn't help) . also this:

how awkward and embarrassing it can be to talk about what kind of services you want during the session with another man

Describing to the tencho the kind of girl i wanted was probably one of the most uncomfortable things i've ever done.

 

[MikeH]

Describing to the tencho the kind of girl i wanted was probably one of the most uncomfortable things i've ever done.

Well, the same thing when buying condoms over the counter for the first time. You think the shop keeper will point fingers and laugh, without realising you are just one of the tens of customers that day.

The only good bouncer I've met in Tokyo actually knew my type of girls better than me at the end and would call me up when they had new ones he thought I would enjoy.

 

[Acid Burn]

Sometimes I'd even have to walk around the block once or twice to prepare myself mentally to head into the building.

I was wondering if anybody else has the same experience and if there was any advice to calm down and get rid of the nerves.

I get like this too sometimes and walking around the block is exactly what I do to calm my nerves. I'm usually not too sociable with new people in general so that's probably my problem. Sometimes I have to just take a breath and tell myself, in the famous words of Nike, 'Just Do It.' Haha. Although going someplace I know and nominating a girl I've been to before makes things a whole lot easier.

 

[chinshiko]

I always get super nervous before meeting. Even when meeting with girls that I know
well (have been with numerous times), I still get nervous. But once the girl is in the room — all of that goes away.

 

[BB0523]

Being anxious, nervous, excited, "giddly" or whatever.... there is a whole gambit of emotions when interacting with people, add to the P4P and then some emotions can start to take over even more - for whatever reason (social stigma, being new to P4P, etc) but.... You are just meeting a person... paying for time.... and getting to know them.... it's the same for both sides, just one of the parties has a bit more experience maybe (provider - unless brand spanking new) so just take a deep breath and treat the person how you would like to be treated. tell them you are a bit nervous, and they should be able to help you calm down... It's not life or death situation... it's a date.... with someone new... Enjoy the adventure that awaits you... don't get hung up on performance or the "deed" itself... just meeting a new person with an anticipated outcome... when you go out with friends and there is a new person to the group do you get nervous ? Probably not... cuz you are with friends... well, this is a potentially new "friend" granted you pay for their time.... but what happens between friends behind closed door is between the friends...

 

[Lars Lust]

Hmm, I never get nervous to call a new agency to order a girl but that’s maybe because I am also a provider and I know how it works.

If I go overseas, try to calll one girl or two to my hotel room and if they or their agency tell me that they reject me not because I am also female but because I am Asian, I would feel a bit defeated probably... but yet I gotta accept it.

I believe I was relaxed when I had my very first client. I was more curious about what kind of man pays money for sex service than being worried myself. I was pure, innocent and a bit airhead, haha.

It would be fantastic to read some Reviews. Pleeeease!

 

[Wwanderer]

Apparently escorts encounter nervous/anxious customers so frequently that they come to expect it. Although I was quite nervous in my early p4p encounters, I relaxed into it so much after a bit that I have had escorts comment in one way on or another about me being unusually nonchalant or mellow on several occasions. In the most extreme case, the lady in question backed out and left, saying that she thought that I must be “a cop or a weirdo” because I seemed “too calm”.

Well, maybe I am a weirdo, but not in the bad sense she was imagining I trust.

Anyway and as many said already, the OP sounds pretty normal in this respect.

-Ww

 

[emiliapoesy]

What is going through your mind exactly that makes you feel anxiety before you meet a provider?

 

[Manami TMK]

It would be fantastic to read some Reviews. Pleeeease!

I already have posted two so far.
One very positive one in Tokyo,
https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/minami-of-night-venus-girls-play.13176/
the other negative one in Singapore.
https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/hot-night-in-singapore.13551/

I have used some more agencies other than Night Venus. But they are lesbian shops and they don’t cater their service to non Japanese so I decided not to post reviews.
It won’t be very helpful info for TAG members...

 

[Troilist]

That explains why i’m a bundle of anxiety, lol

I wouldn’t have guessed this, as you’ve always seemed quite calm to me.

 

[User#8628]

I wouldn’t have guessed this, as you’ve always seemed quite calm to me.

Haha maybe that was slightly exaggerated. And its not as prominent when meeting clients, though its there. But i’m really bad at making phonecalls and going inside somewhere first to wait for someone (i rather wait outside even if its cold).