The more time passes in my life I wonder, has anyone confessed to cheating or mongering? I guess that for escorts the equivalent would be confessing their work to someone else. Not the same thing in many ways, just the closest equivalent.
It might sound crazy, but I feel that if you really care for someone, let say you are considering going steady — specially, picture what it would take for one of us, both men and women in this forum, to want to go steady! —, or heck you just fell in love with someone, at some point you eventually feel that i) you don’t want to lie to them, and ii) they should accept you for what you are.
On the other hand, I feel like some of us have played wrong our hand in life and it might be too late to go back, there is simply no way of recovering such level of honesty when other people were dealt or played a much better hand in life (pick whatever you want to believe, the result is the same). You might want to be honest, but at some point you realize there is a big chance that your partner won’t be able to reciprocate your honesty with an equivalent secret if their biggest transgressions in life were much smaller than yours. Naturally you become afraid of being rejected. Or accepted, but not being on the same equal ground as your partner anymore.
I don’t think partners are entitled to know all about your past, specially if they are not sharing theirs with you or if they have been so fortunate as to go through life without having to keep secrets. Confidence is more something that you give, rather than demand. I would like to hear what escorts thing about their situation, it doesn’t sound easy at all.
As a monger I feel like the more I care about someone I just cannot lie about mongering in the past. It’s not a fair game to my partner, specially if they are younger than me or I suspect they have had rather uneventful romantic lives so far.
Similar to acknowledging you are a scorpion in that Aesop fable. Also, I feel that it was an experience that profoundly affected how I relate to women, and why
I react like a cat caught by surprise by a cucumber over seemingly inoffensive things, like the casual use of the word
‘whore’ in conversation.
I notice that I slip a lot. When something is hard to confess, you slip to get caught. I rarely lie about losing my virginity very late in life and leave the rest up to being figured out. I also rarely hide knowing a lot about the P4P scene in Japan. But that’s mostly to male friends, so far I haven’t done that with potential female partners. I do however tell women almost from the very beginning that my romantic experiences have been complicated. The latest opportunities I had of starting a relationship I was still mongering and I had to shut the whole thing down before they went too far.
I even asked a moderator to delete my message because I thought it wouldn’t have replies.
