Anyone With Sterilisation Experiences?

[Verbal]

Interesting...never knew that before. Any idea what the number might be (i.e., probability of a spontaneous reversal)?

-Ww

Harvard medical says 1 in 4000. So it's pretty rare, but still possible

 

[Jay]

I'm hoping to get sterilised later this year when I return to the UK. I've previously had issues with hormonal contraceptives (pill, mini pill, implant). Currently I have a copper IUD but I have mixed feelings about it as it seems to cause increasing "women's issues".

Bareback isn't a deciding issue for me as it's not worth the STD risk in my opinion. I just don't want children at all and want to maximise my chances of never falling pregnant as much as possible.

Has anyone or their partner been sterilised? Did you have trouble getting it done at a young age (i.e. under 30)? Or being unmarried or without children already? Did you need your partner's permission? (The last one thankfully does not appear to be an issue in the UK other places are not so forward thinking unfortunately).

Before I tell you what I know about having your tubes tied (or getting sterilized using some other method) please allow me this indulgence.

I wrote something similar to this in a college class I was taking recently. When I was 20 I had a pretty good idea about who I was and what I wanted out of life. When I looked back at my 20s and my personal philosophy; when I was in my mid 30s, I said to myself, "WTF where you thinking?" and I remember thinking, did I tell anyone this stupid stuff? When I looked back at my 30s when I was in my 40s I thought to myself. "Wow! WTF was I thinking back then?" Now that I'm in my 50s (51 actually), I realize what I think now is based on the life I've lived and the life I'm living so I stay flexible and try to avoid making universal claims about what is and is not, because I know my world is actually quite small and, more important, is always changing.

Now, to your question. My ex-wife had a partial hysterectomy (she had her ovaries removed--tubes tied) because she had a tutor on it. Fortunately this was after we had our children. I know this isn't a very nice thing to say but it is perfect from a man's perspective. The difference between a partial and full hysterectomy is a partial only removes the ovaries and a full removes all of the reproductive organs. A full hysterectomy causes a woman to experience menopause shortly thereafter (meaning months after surgery--so imagine menopause at 25 or 35). A partial hysterectomy means no children and--get this guys--no period. Menopause comes at its normal stage and her sex drive doesn't change. Then these operations were final (meaning not reversible). Today I suspect there are options to get around this if there is a change of heart later.

My question to you J-Blair is understanding your drive and focus and likely your goals; clearly motherhood is not in your plans; but when you're out of this game and you have time and freedom, are you sure you feel the same way you feel now?

To your other questions, we were in our early 30s and we both had to agree. I suspect you can get it done but it might be a slower process because of your age and you have no children. If you know you're not the nurturing type and you don't like children it would probably help your cause.

 

[User#16452]

Before I tell you what I know about having your tubes tied (or getting sterilized using some other method) please allow me this indulgence.

I wrote something similar to this in a college class I was taking recently. When I was 20 I had a pretty good idea about who I was and what I wanted out of life. When I looked back at my 20s and my personal philosophy; when I was in my mid 30s, I said to myself, "WTF where you thinking?" and I remember thinking, did I tell anyone this stupid stuff? When I looked back at my 30s when I was in my 40s I thought to myself. "Wow! WTF was I thinking back then?" Now that I'm in my 50s (51 actually), I realize what I think now is based on the life I've lived and the life I'm living so I stay flexible and try to avoid making universal claims about what is and is not, because I know my world is actually quite small and, more important, is always changing.

So you would say the same if I made a thread saying "I want to get pregnant", right?

Now, to your question. My ex-wife had a partial hysterectomy (she had her ovaries removed--tubes tied) because she had a tutor on it. Fortunately this was after we had our children. I know this isn't a very nice thing to say but it is perfect from a man's perspective. The difference between a partial and full hysterectomy is a partial only removes the ovaries and a full removes all of the reproductive organs. A full hysterectomy causes a woman to experience menopause shortly thereafter (meaning months after surgery--so imagine menopause at 25 or 35). A partial hysterectomy means no children and--get this guys--no period. Menopause comes at its normal stage and her sex drive doesn't change. Then these operations were final (meaning not reversible). Today I suspect there are options to get around this if there is a change of heart later.

I think you are a little confused here.

• Radical hysterectomy: complete removal of the uterus, cervix, upper vagina, and parametrium. Indicated for cancer. Lymph nodes, ovaries and fallopian tubes are also usually removed in this situation.

• Total hysterectomy: complete removal of the uterus and cervix, with or without oophorectomy (removal of ovaries).

• Subtotal hysterectomy: removal of the uterus, leaving the cervix in situ, causing periods to remain.

Only removing the ovaries will cause immediate, surgical induced, menopause. Also, besides using a surrogate for carrying the baby, there is no way around this that I know of.

My question to you J-Blair is understanding your drive and focus and likely your goals; clearly motherhood is not in your plans; but when you're out of this game and you have time and freedom, are you sure you feel the same way you feel now?

I have been "in this game" for only two years, it is not a factor here.

To your other questions, we were in our early 30s and we both had to agree. I suspect you can get it done but it might be a slower process because of your age and you have no children. If you know you're not the nurturing type and you don't like children it would probably help your cause.

I think "not the nuturing type" is a rather broad assumption to make and paints me as someone cold. Not only human babies need nuturing!

For what it is worth, I realised since making this thread that one of the biggest kickers for me against pregnancy is that even if I was to change my mind about wanting a child, I don't think I could accept to bring another child into this world, knowing how many currently go to bed hungry and without love. To me, intentional pregnancy is a very irresponsible and selfish act and I cannot see myself ever consenting to that.

 

[DeepStick2020]

I know a lady that had her stuff removed. She has kids tho. The reason for doing it I never asked, but when I was around her, she never used condoms and stated that no condom was needed since she could not have kids anymore. She took some meds and she still functioned normally, except no getting pregnant. She was a cougar that loved fucking. Good times with her back home.

 

[rick]

So you would say the same if I made a thread saying "I want to get pregnant", right?

I would generally ask someone to think twice before making any major irreversible decision!

I think many of the guys here would be asking you to reconsider if you made that thread

 

[DeepStick2020]

That old lady had kids before deciding to have her surgery. I know of another lady who did the opposite. She regretted it. The biological clock still ticks. Unless your symptoms are severe, I'd say chill out, stop sex for a while, chill out smoke some herb.

 

[User#16452]

Mmm, maybe we can stay on track? I didn't ask anyone to help me decide whether I should do it or not, just wanted some experiences.

I've not critiqued anyone else's choices here as they've not asked me to, and in return, I ask that you respect that I have not asked to be critiqued either.

I very much doubt you can summarise what is best for me from a handful of posts anyway.

 

[User#6541]

That old lady had kids before deciding to have her surgery. I know of another lady who did the opposite. She regretted it. The biological clock still ticks. Unless your symptoms are severe, I'd say chill out, stop sex for a while, chill out smoke some herb.

Yeah, @User#16452 you consider yourself a sub at heart, so shut up and let us decide what's best for you already

 

[Wwanderer]

Yeah, @User#16452 you consider yourself a sub at heart, so shut up and let us decide what's best for you already

I think she should get a vote too.

-Ww

 

[DeepStick2020]

I believe that she is going to make that decision herself in the end. Never do anything in haste, and remember that many women do this every day for all kinds of reasons. We are just saying that leave no openings for regret or that "wished I hadn't" after you've gone through with something so major. I hate pain, but pain goes away. I'd think the decision itself is rather easy, it's after the surgery that the thoughts come. That is if you go for the full procedure. You make your own decisions based on doctors and how you feel. And after you do make it, you will either never look back like a whole lotta women or you will. Two roads! Some love the direct positive effect and some later think about kids. But if you never want kids as you stated, then such thiughts would never come up. Perhaps one might have been thinking about a husband and if he might want kids. My final post! Hope this works out for you User#16452!

 

[User#16452]

Perhaps one might have been thinking about a husband and if he might want kids.

I don't want to get married. It's steeped in coverture. Besides, it makes no sense to marry someone who might want kids if I don't. A longtime partner changing their mind about such things would be cause for a break-up in my opinion, not a pregnancy.

 

[Verbal]

I think many of the guys here would be asking you to reconsider if you made that thread

But you forget some guys are into the pregnant lady thing.

As for experiences, my best friend's mom got her tubes tied after having her third child. He doesn't remember any adverse medical or hormonal changes in her day to day life. I could ask her directly if you'd like further insight, @User#16452

 

[User#16452]

As for experiences, my best friend's mom got her tubes tied after having her third child. He doesn't remember any adverse medical or hormonal changes in her day to day life. I could ask her directly if you'd like further insight, @User#16452

Yes, I would really appreciate that if it's not too much trouble! I don't know anyone myself that has had it done.

Thanks

 

[Verbal]

Yes, I would really appreciate that if it's not too much trouble! I don't know anyone myself that has had it done.

Thanks

No trouble at all! It's a major life decision, and if I were in a similar spot, I'd want all the info I could get. It just may take a bit since she's back in the US and it's 1AM there haha

 

[Jay]

So you would say the same if I made a thread saying "I want to get pregnant", right?



I think you are a little confused here.

• Radical hysterectomy: complete removal of the uterus, cervix, upper vagina, and parametrium. Indicated for cancer. Lymph nodes, ovaries and fallopian tubes are also usually removed in this situation.

• Total hysterectomy: complete removal of the uterus and cervix, with or without oophorectomy (removal of ovaries).

• Subtotal hysterectomy: removal of the uterus, leaving the cervix in situ, causing periods to remain.

Only removing the ovaries will cause immediate, surgical induced, menopause. Also, besides using a surrogate for carrying the baby, there is no way around this that I know of.



I have been "in this game" for only two years, it is not a factor here.



I think "not the nuturing type" is a rather broad assumption to make and paints me as someone cold. Not only human babies need nuturing!

For what it is worth, I realised since making this thread that one of the biggest kickers for me against pregnancy is that even if I was to change my mind about wanting a child, I don't think I could accept to bring another child into this world, knowing how many currently go to bed hungry and without love. To me, intentional pregnancy is a very irresponsible and selfish act and I cannot see myself ever consenting to that.

Obviously, I struck a nerve. It wasn't my intention to offend you. I may have missed the mark about the hysterectomy, but I believe you're smart enough to understand my point.

The comment about not being the nurturing type was in response to getting physicians to give you the OK. My "guess" is you will have to provide quality justification for them to agree. I did caveat the statement with the comment that things may be different today.

Again, I didn't mean to offend you.

 

[toner935]

I may have missed the mark about the hysterectomy

My mother had a hysterectomy probably about 30 years ago - I WOULD not recommend this as optional surgery! It is highly invasive and can have severe short and long term consequences.

 

[Wwanderer]

A hysterectomy and a tubal ligation are very different procedures with very different medical consequences to the best of my non-expert understanding.

-Ww

 

[User#16452]

Obviously, I struck a nerve. It wasn't my intention to offend you. I may have missed the mark about the hysterectomy, but I believe you're smart enough to understand my point.

The comment about not being the nurturing type was in response to getting physicians to give you the OK. My "guess" is you will have to provide quality justification for them to agree. I did caveat the statement with the comment that things may be different today.

Again, I didn't mean to offend you.

Your post was a little patronising and suggested that I hadn't considered what might happen if I changed my mind. It was also uncalled for as I never asked for help deciding, only experiences. This is a pretty common reaction to someone wanting to get sterilised so perhaps you can understand me being annoyed at what you wrote.

Also, you didn't write "not the nurturing type" as something to say to the doctor but implying that I am like that as the reason for not wanting children. Not quite the same and again unnecessary.

 

[Jay]

So you would say the same if I made a thread saying "I want to get pregnant", right?



I think you are a little confused here.

• Radical hysterectomy: complete removal of the uterus, cervix, upper vagina, and parametrium. Indicated for cancer. Lymph nodes, ovaries and fallopian tubes are also usually removed in this situation.

• Total hysterectomy: complete removal of the uterus and cervix, with or without oophorectomy (removal of ovaries).

• Subtotal hysterectomy: removal of the uterus, leaving the cervix in situ, causing periods to remain.

Only removing the ovaries will cause immediate, surgical induced, menopause. Also, besides using a surrogate for carrying the baby, there is no way around this that I know of.



I have been "in this game" for only two years, it is not a factor here.



I think "not the nuturing type" is a rather broad assumption to make and paints me as someone cold. Not only human babies need nuturing!

For what it is worth, I realised since making this thread that one of the biggest kickers for me against pregnancy is that even if I was to change my mind about wanting a child, I don't think I could accept to bring another child into this world, knowing how many currently go to bed hungry and without love. To me, intentional pregnancy is a very irresponsible and selfish act and I cannot see myself ever consenting to that.

To your point about intentional pregnancy. It is completely understandable that you might feel this way. I'm a man so my thinking is more primal.

Your post was a little patronising and suggested that I hadn't considered what might happen if I changed my mind. It was also uncalled for as I never asked for help deciding, only experiences. This is a pretty common reaction to someone wanting to get sterilised so perhaps you can understand me being annoyed at what you wrote.

Also, you didn't write "not the nurturing type" as something to say to the doctor but implying that I am like that as the reason for not wanting children. Not quite the same and again unnecessary.

Your post was a little patronising and suggested that I hadn't considered what might happen if I changed my mind. It was also uncalled for as I never asked for help deciding, only experiences. This is a pretty common reaction to someone wanting to get sterilised so perhaps you can understand me being annoyed at what you wrote.

Also, you didn't write "not the nurturing type" as something to say to the doctor but implying that I am like that as the reason for not wanting children. Not quite the same and again unnecessary.

I've already apologized.

 

[User#16452]

To your point about intentional pregnancy. It is completely understandable that you might feel this way. I'm a man so my thinking is more primal.

Are all men necessarily more primal?

I've already apologized.

Where did I ask you to apologise at all? I just explained my thinking, as you did in your posts.

 

[hkAlone]

Funny.
I just planned to have my vasectomy in September... after having five kids.

User#16452 not wanting kids now is a thing, forcing the future you not to have any is being quite cruel with yourself.
You are so young and full of passion. You may change in five or ten years.
Young adults tend to be very focused on themself. In your thirties you tend to realize yourself more through altruistic behavior and to reach your own well being through it.
More generally I don't think you can reach happiness without being a part of a small circle of people feeling love and caring for each other. If this seems a far fetched concept today, it could make much more sense to you in a near future.

 

[Lady_Lu]

Just make sure you get all the information. I've been reading a lot about long term secondary effects of this procedure. The doctor will say there are none but an increasing number of women says otherwise.
Good luck !

 

[User#16452]

Funny.
I just planned to have my vasectomy in September... after having five kids.

User#16452 not wanting kids now is a thing, forcing the future you not to have any is being quite cruel with yourself.
You are so young and full of passion. You may change in five or ten years.
Young adults tend to be very focused on themself. In your thirties you tend to realize yourself more through altruistic behavior and to reach your own well being through it.
More generally I don't think you can reach happiness without being a part of a small circle of people feeling love and caring for each other. If this seems a far fetched concept today, it could make much more sense to you in a near future.

Oh boy, I don't even know where to begin with this comment. I hate to be a little rough with language here, but you don't know me or my life.

Also, I grew up in a family. I have family now. Being in a "circle of love" is not a foreign concept to me.

 

[MikeH]

In your thirties you tend to realize yourself more through altruistic behavior and to reach your own well being through it

I am certain that each and every woman who wants to get sterilised has not thought about it properly and will change her mind after a bunch of anonymous men in internet forum give her wise advice.

Now we only have to figure out a way for them to make us sandwiches too at the same time.

 

[User#6541]

I am certain that each and every woman who wants to get sterilised has not thought about it properly and will change her mind after a bunch of anonymous men in internet forum give her wise advice.

Now we only have to figure out a way for them to make us sandwiches too at the same time.

Your nonsense makes the most sense, I loved it.