Asking Her Out, Yes Or No?

[BlackJack1]

So sorry to hear that...

 

[meiji]

Ugh. Find another girl. Ask her out before you get hung up on her.

 

[Wwanderer]

Real and serious *romantic* relationships between 20-something women and 40-something men are not that uncommon, and even much larger age differences work for some couples. Despite whatever she might say, you cannot assume that her motivation is strictly financial. A lot of guys cannot imagine being in a relationship with a woman 10 or 20 or more years older than them, so they cannot imagine a woman wanting a man that much older...but enjoying/desiring an older romantic partner is far more common among women than men. Just saying'.

-Ww

 

[vondoom]

or try not to get hung on someone you dont really know in the first place... apparently too difficult, since it happens all the time...
and btw, you knew that all along, shouldnt come as a big surprise...

dont waste your time waiting, if youll meet, youll meet as friends, or work mates, if you ask her out on a date (which im sure you didnt clarify), shes going to say "no thx"...

 

[just4fun]

To the Op, I think you have a good chance.....

 

[owlet]

Real and serious *romantic* relationships between 20-something women and 40-something men are not that uncommon, and even much larger age differences work for some couples. Despite whatever she might say, you cannot assume that her motivation is strictly financial. A lot of guys cannot imagine being in a relationship with a woman 10 or 20 or more years older than them, so they cannot imagine a woman wanting a man that much older...but enjoying/desiring an older romantic partner is far more common among women than men. Just saying'.

-Ww

lucky for us!

 

[owlet]

what meiji said

the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

.. Not me

 

[Desktop]

I don't see this realization as a bad thing. I love having female friends & usually they have friends just like them. Don't get hung up on her & see what her friends are like.

 

[DeepStick2020]

Boy, you better make her a deal she can't refuse! Any guy can ask a girl out! But not every guy can win that right. You can't just give chocolate! You gotta attract her in a way that she will follow you for a lifetime.

Since I wrote that above, had senility, and then came back to my senses, I thought I had this very problem in life long ago. I stole my wife from a 40 year old geezer. You have a chance. Show her that you aren't just a boy, but a boy who can play with the men.

But is she worth it? This where I always would go visit a stripper or two and get their advice while sitting on my lap. Nothing better than high or drunk stripper advice. Saved my marriage countless times until I gave up on, well, the concept of owing and owing and owing..... Where was I---

She is not married, young, and throwing you a curveball. Keep at it. Invite her to places that separate you from whatever and whoever. But as my long time J male friends always say, never expect that she will do anything but coldly sell watches, bags, jewels, clothes, and anything really after you split. So they recommend going on trips! Hakone is not far!

Seems to me, that you should move on. Do you really want to deal with this type of female? She's just in it for the benefits, right?

You didn't get promoted. Perhaps you should focus on your work rather than this girl. Or is this your distraction so you can cope?

I'd be more inclined to focus on amassing money than focusing in chasing the wind. You'll never catch the wind, but you sure can catch the money wave!

Be careful about your eyes and hormones! I suggest that you move on after reading what you wrote. It won't end well! Indeed, it won't end well, but you could still show her that you can be just as good as an old moneyed middle-aged man.

 

[just4fun]

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[Kurisudesuu]

Dont get me wrong guys, maybe shes dating in for the benefits but i still think she is still a fine lady! She has her good parts also, i wont fall in love in a hoe or something, you know ? XD

But i maybe wrong, that she really like that old-man, That will be painful for me but that is what life is!!

And maybe she really dislike me, shes just trying to be nice because were workers!
because sometimes shes really cold to me, not to mention only to me!! i dont know what have i done wrong i just wanted to make her laugh everyday!!

But still i want to bet on the little chance i have, because if i didnt , i will be regretting this later for not trying!!

Just need your advice guys ! on how to deal with this situation..

 

[Wwanderer]

she really like that old-man

You mean the 40-something bf, right? You're killing me here, kid!

-Ww

 

[meiji]

Dont get me wrong guys, maybe shes dating in for the benefits but i still think she is still a fine lady! She has her good parts also, i wont fall in love in a hoe or something, you know ? XD

A woman that does the sugar daddy thing can also be a good person. So can "hos".

And maybe she really dislike me, shes just trying to be nice because were workers!

Maybe she's putting on the veneer of niceness because it's blatantly obvious you have the hots for her and she'd rather you back off, but women usually give subtle hints rather than hitting you with a hammer about it. I'm sure a big part of it is maintaining a working relationship.

But still i want to bet on the little chance i have, because if i didnt , i will be regretting this later for not trying!!

You already tried. She said no.

Just need your advice guys ! on how to deal with this situation..

We've already given you advice. Back off. Find another girl to go out with. If being around her without pining for her is too difficult, find another job. Seriously. These things only end in tears, usually yours.

 

[Desktop]

Since you are young, I will also point out at the work place if you don't ease up it could be taken as harassment.
Those of us working as Salarymen in offices would be fired if we keep approaching after she said she has a man & is happy with him.
Trying to just put that out there cause no one else has.

 

[NormalGuy]

Perhaps she's happy with the 40 year old because he wasn't "in love with her" before the first date.
She may like emotional maturity and stability. Maybe this guy is a nice guy, treats her well and they have fun together. You seem to be focused on his age because it's the one advantage that you perceive you have over him, where it might be the complete opposite.

It could be she's a nice woman that is trying to let you down gently. That won't last forever and if you value anything, job, friendship etc. then it's time to leave her alone. She now knows how you feel and if she is ever interested she doesn't have to look far to find you.

 

[just4fun]

You mean the 40-something bf, right? You're killing me here, kid!

-Ww

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I love how children act sometimes.......just cracks me up

hahahahahahaahahha

 

[Wwanderer]

@just4fun sir, you have such a great reason to be laughing!

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

What @NormalGuy said!

http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/most-popular/12-reasons-why-women-prefer-to-date-older-men/

-Ww

 

[just4fun]

What @NormalGuy said!

http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/most-popular/12-reasons-why-women-prefer-to-date-older-men/

-Ww

Word for word this pretty correct.

 

[honra123]

OP, sorry, but I might be a bit harsh on you. Apologies to the other participants too.

You're just immature.

Sorry to put it this way, but judging from all your comments, you really are. You read or try to read signs in everything, you overthink them, and you swing from one conclusion to another like a teenage girl. Show some more respect to her 40-year boyfriend. Why do you think you have advantage over him purely because you're younger?

Let me put it this way: he might be the 'old' man (is 40 y.o. old now?), but then again he might have the confidence, career advance and stability.

You make subjective assumptions based on your perceived 'advantages' while they might not be advantages at all.

Personal advice: back off a little and see what happens. Try to be more mature and let things flow. Stop zooming in and overthinking over a girl you haven't even really established a deep connection with so far.

My 2 cents.

 

[roots reggae]

My advice is to continue getting to know her and developing a friendship.

But...get out, enjoy life, and be receptive to meeting someone else you find attractive.

Don't close doors and open as many as you can!

Be genuinely happy! It's an extremely attractive trait.

 

[just4fun]

I think you should just pull ur junk out and wave it at her.......

 

[grimjim]

Well its been a Month since i got a new job as a Part-timer in a Net-room cafe.
And theres this Japanese girl who is a "社員"
"Staff" in that shop. She's 23 and not mention im 20. So since i came in to the shop. I think i am the one who is the closest person to her in that place. Since we talk about a bunch of worthless and important things. Sometimes she strikes the conversations first sometimes I do. She bullys me and makes fun of me everytime, especially about my stomach LOL she even touches it. And i dont mind that since i think its cute haha! And i also make fun of her and makes her laugh. She even tells our co-workers that everyday she works together with me She cant stop Laughing. Which is im happy since everytime i see her tired i wanted to make her laugh and see her smile!

Yea ill get to the point, Since it comes to this,
i fell in love with her, and ive been dropping subtle hints but always making it as a joke, such as "as a gentleman i dont want to see your face like that" or "i think you look really cute when you smile!" and even "if my friend starts to work here dont be so approachable or I'll get jealous" which is just a joke and she always laughs about it.
Well i applied the "Lady's first" rule to her , i think she liked it. Yes she makes fun of me but the time i looked tired she will always tell me to drink some water and sometimes gives me tissues because of the sweaty face i have when working lol..

Yes for this past few days i fell in love with her, but the sad thing is she has a boyfriend which is a 40year old man. But i think it is just a lie or she really doesnt like that guy and just dating him for future purposes? And she shows me pictures of herself and her friends casually , but she doesnt show me pic of her boyfriend thats why i think its just a lie or something..

But i really want to ask her out, but i have the risk of her refusing and it might make some distance between us. And she doesnt have time afterwork Since she work 12pm to 10pm so if she doesnt come home fast the train will stop and she can not go home.
But! She has a rest day which is thursday! i have work that day but duh its still 6pm! So i can ask her out on the morning or afternoon.
Yet still im confuse if she likes me or not, and if asking her out would creep her out?

Any advices there?

Don't bother with her. Don't shit where you eat. And, if she really liked you it would be no problem for her to make time for you. Love is hard enough. No need to force it.

 

[just4fun]

Where's this net-cafe room? Maybe I know her.....