Cheating

lennylenny said:
Alright people, i wanna hear from you: what do you think about cheating? at what point does it become cheating? did you ever cheat? under what circumstances?

i heard that in Japan p4p is not considered cheating. does anyone confirm that?

Thanks!
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if theres a couple and one of the partners won't have sex with the other. then i think cheating is ok. i had a friend who has not had sex with his wife for over 10 years
 
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I think there are a multitude of reasons of why people cheat, none good. some reasons are worse than others. In my case (I am married) it's my selfish desire to want to experience other women. I recently became a cheater after getting suckered in kabukichou. I went there with just the intention of checking it out because I heard rumors about it. I wasn't looking to cheat, but did. After that encounter, even though it was bad, it opened a door and brought forth a fantasy that I let go of after I got married. Now it's the main thing I think of (3p). So I want to live out this fantasy and leave it at that.
 
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anewstart said:
na people cheat because its a thrill.
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We don't disagree, my friend. Firstly, please notice I wrote "some people." Secondly, they seek the thrill possibly because they're not getting sufficient thrills in their present relationship, hence unmet needs. I might add that increased stress may increase the urge to take risks.

Still, I speculate that you may be referring to a genetic need to experience thrills;

http://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/UCLA-Study-Establishes-Genetic-462

In that case, it's quite possible that remaining "faithful' is extremely difficult, due to genetic factors.
 
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For me, I don't feel that I own or possess any other person, and I truly want my friends and partners to enjoy themselves. So for me, cheating doesn't exist. People are free to do whatever they want with whoever they want. Of course, I fully accept that most people don't feel this way, but I find that living without jealousy or possessiveness is quite pleasant.
 
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lennylenny said:
Alright people, i wanna hear from you: what do you think about cheating? at what point does it become cheating? did you ever cheat? under what circumstances?

i heard that in Japan p4p is not considered cheating. does anyone confirm that?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
what do you think about cheating?
it something that happens a lot, under various circumstances and for various reasons. It can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how the "cheater" deals with it but I think most of times it has to happen and it can bee considered as cure for something or a correction to a situation even when it leads to a divorce (which is also a correction IMO).

at what point does it become cheating?
anything you'd do with a girl and that you would have to hide to your gf/wife is cheating. if you're wife allows you to fuck other women and know when you do so then it's not cheating, polygamy isn't cheating either. but a kiss can be considered as cheating if it's something she wouldn't allow you to do.

did you ever cheat?
yes

under what circumstances?
various circumstances

i heard that in Japan p4p is not considered cheating. does anyone confirm that?
I don't think so.
 
Saitama-man said:
I think there are a multitude of reasons of why people cheat, none good.
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It's because the "cheating" word sounds bad.
Call it "adventure" and then all the multiple reasons for it are between ok and very good.
 
Quietlife said:
For me, I don't feel that I own or possess any other person, and I truly want my friends and partners to enjoy themselves. So for me, cheating doesn't exist. People are free to do whatever they want with whoever they want. Of course, I fully accept that most people don't feel this way, but I find that living without jealousy or possessiveness is quite pleasant.
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Precisely so.

I could not describe my own views/feeling any more accurately than your words do it.

-Ww
 
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Saitama-man said:
I think there are a multitude of reasons of why people cheat, none good. some reasons are worse than others. In my case (I am married) it's my selfish desire to want to experience other women. I recently became a cheater after getting suckered in kabukichou. I went there with just the intention of checking it out because I heard rumors about it. I wasn't looking to cheat, but did. After that encounter, even though it was bad, it opened a door and brought forth a fantasy that I let go of after I got married. Now it's the main thing I think of (3p). So I want to live out this fantasy and leave it at that.
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to me there is no good reason or bad reason. a reason is a part that explains a process.
good or bad is a unpragmatic human point of view, it only matters if you need a moral judgement.
 
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e-smile said:
what do you think about cheating?


i heard that in Japan p4p is not considered cheating. does anyone confirm that?
I don't think so.
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It's actually true, at least legally.

I posted this in another thread: http://www.tokyoadultguide.com/threads/married-girls.10908/page-2


What's really interesting was a ruling stating if the husband pays for sex, according to Japanese law, the wife has no grounds for compensation:

"Legal experts say a little-noticed court case in Tokyo last year may have effectively said that adultery is acceptable in Japan, as long as it is conducted for business purposes.

In the April 2014 case, discussed in a recent issue of the legal magazine Hanrei Times, a judge in Tokyo District Court decided that a man's wife was ineligible for compensation from a nightclub hostess who had a sexual relationship with her husband.

“The defendant had sexual relations with her patron only for business, like in cases of prostitution, and such conduct does not damage peaceful marital life,” Judge Masamitsu Shiseki was reported to have said in his written judgment."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...dultery-is-not-adultery-if-money-is-involved/
 
the right to have compensation is one thing and the fact it is considered as cheating is another thing.
the text you posted doesn't say the wife can't ask for unilateral divorce for infidelity reason.
 
e-smile said:
the right to have compensation is one thing and the fact it is considered as cheating is another thing.
the text you posted doesn't say the wife can't ask for unilateral divorce for infidelity reason.
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Of course, you are absolutely correct. However, that's not what was originally asked:

e-smile said: ↑
what do you think about cheating?


i heard that in Japan p4p is not considered cheating. does anyone confirm that?
I don't think so.

In the case cited above:

"Even if the wife is disgusted by the act, it does not constitute a legal offense," the judge ruled.

Since the original question about p4p being considered cheating, then the answer to that question is open to interpretation. The judge affirmed exactly what many Japanese men and women view, what Westerners consider cheating, as not, in many Japanese's opinion to be cheating. What we're talking about is individual opinions within a culture and a widely held belief within that culture.

In your latest post, you wrote:

the right to have compensation is one thing and the fact it is considered as cheating is another thing.
the text you posted doesn't say the wife can't ask for unilateral divorce for infidelity reason.

Your conclusion in that statement is absolutely correct, according to my research:

Japanese Civil Code Article 770-1 describes only five grounds for a contested divorce, and until a 1987 supreme court ruling, divorces were normally denied to the spouse "at fault":

  1. •Infidelity (futei na koui); This could be just physical (furin 不倫) or it could be serious (uwaki 浮気) Either the husband or the wife can sue for divorce for adultery, and if the other party is found at fault, he or she may have to pay consolation money. (isharyou　慰謝料)

  2. •Malicious abandonment (akui na iki), which means the failure, without justifiable cause, to fulfill the spousal duties of cohabitation, mutual cooperation and assistance. Some arguments can only be used by one or the other gender:
    1. ◦to make enough to support them, even if the wife refuses to work.
  3. •Whereabouts Unknown (shoushi). The whereabouts and status of a spouse are not known for over three years, regardless of cause; Another reliable source says that "it is unknown for more than three years whether or not the spouse is alive".

  4. •Serious mental illness (seishinbyou); where there is no hope for recovery

  5. •Serious misconduct (juudai na jiyu) on the part of one of the spouses making it difficult to continue the marriage.
"Other grave reasons" is a catch all which is often used as a substitute for irreconcilable differences (seikaku no fuitchi 性格の不一致) , although the later is not a specifically valid reason. It covers a wide spectrum of grounds such as cruelty, domestic violence, unreasonable behavior, incompatibility, loss of love in the marriage. The following are reported as valid reasons by a reliable source, but it is unclear in which category they belong.

  1. •Refusal or neglect of marital sex. Apparently, only the husband can sue for divorce on this grounds.

  2. •Refusal or neglect of financial support. Apparently only the wife can sue divorce on this grounds if the husband is unable
http://crnjapan.net/The_Japan_Childrens_Rights_Network/div-types.html

Sorry, I don't mean to be a smart-ass or anal retentive. Please forgive me if it my reply bugs you, it is not my intention to do so. Just having an open discussion.
 
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@roots reggae it's not bugging at all, it's opposite in fact. I appreciate the detailled answer and I learned something : the difference between 不倫 and 浮気.
(y)
 
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