Client at wrong hotel- how to deal?

[Mischa Maxwell]

This is a very long-winded tale, and has made me feel awful as I've never left a client on bad terms before.

I sent a client the address of where we were to meet the day before our date. I sent it in both English and Japanese.

We had arranged to meet at 5:30pm.
He messaged around lunchtime and asked if we could make it 5:00pm. I agreed.

He drove to the wrong hotel. (Same franchise, different area). Then he turned around and began to drive home. I had been in constant contact with him and told him it was still fine to come to our date, even though he was late. I was waiting downstairs for him. He made a phone call to try and re-arrange his schedule, but couldn't.
Therefore, he didn't come to our date after all.

I burst into tears. It had been a long day for me. I had been lost, I was freezing cold and he was my only client in the area that I had travelled to. (Although, he didn't know this at the time). I went back to the room.
He said that if money was my issue, then he could drop in briefly and give me the booking amount. I explained that I had mascara running down my face and would appreciate it if he could drop the fee at front Reception in an envelope. I gave him my name and room number.

Things went rapidly downhill from there. He didn't drop off the booking fee. He also didn't believe that I was crying. I tried to appeal to his human side by explaining that I had been excited to meet him, especially as we had things in common. Eventually I told him that he was my sole client. If he had have kept his booking, I would have broken even, instead of being out of pocket. I also told him that if I was any other escort, his details could have been all over social media as a TW. He took this as a threat, which it really wasn't.

I regret getting emotional. I regret telling him how upset I was. I did try to reach out to him this morning to ask if he would sit down and have a cup of coffee with me. However, I suspect that he may have blocked me on LINE, as he hasn't responded. I would still like to do that though, especially now that I am calmer. I have never, ever left a client on bad terms before, and to do so has made me feel really sad.

My questions are thus:
1. Was I justified in getting upset?
2. Should he have paid the booking fee?

All and any advice is welcome. I never want to go through this again. And if said client is reading this, I would really like to talk to him. My feeling is that life is too short to go around making enemies.

 

[RoboReptar]

Jeeze I'm so sorry you had such a rough night. Just know that you'll be okay and this is a learning experience in the long run.

From my personal point of view, yes he should have paid the booking fee and you're completelty justified in being upset.

First off, it's his fault he drove to the wrong hotel, if clear instructions were given on your side then you're not at fault at all, if he gave instructions that were too vague, his fault as well. If it was a simple misunderstanding in terms of which location on your part then he still should have gone through with the date.

Sounds like while you may have lost a client, it might be better in the long run, if he's the type of person to be rude and not go through with his end of an interaction, when it could be nobodies fault things got mixed up, he probably has very little respect for people's time around him.

Sorry it happened to you though, I think double/tripple checking locations might be in order, maybe even asking the client for the specific address and then say "You're sure it's X address right?" Or something

 

[MossBoss]

If he made the mistake with the venue, he should pay.

 

[Jack Hammer]

My line of work has to deal with sending foreigners to different locations, so people getting lost is not uncommon for me. The best advice i can give you is put the address in english & japanese, send your clients the url to google map which pinpoits the location, and if possible, send them the hotel's website. It seems like all of this is a hassle, but i gurantee that the effort is worth it. If still cant find the location, then they are idiots. In answer to your questions
1. Getting upset is understandable, however when people panick they tend to lose rationality, i dont doubt that you are very professional when it comes to your work, however saying he is your sole client in the area may come off as suspicious. In addition saying that his information could be leaked if it was any other escort, doesnt provide comfort unless you know this client really well.
2. He fucked up so he should pay.
Sorry for the rant, hope my advice helps

 

[e-smile]

My questions are thus:
1. Was I justified in getting upset?
2. Should he have paid the booking fee?

1. both of you are justified in getting upset toward the situation/fate/fortune ... not toward one another. it's a situation where there is a misunderstanding not bad intent.
2. I see no reason why he should have. both of you wasted time, would you have paid him anything if he was the one deciding the place and you were the one misunderstanding the location ?

 

[Desktop]

His mistake but saying his private info could have been all over the net probably freaked him out.

 

[Exnocomment]

My questions are thus:
1. Was I justified in getting upset?
2. Should he have paid the booking fee?

All and any advice is welcome. I never want to go through this again. And if said client is reading this, I would really like to talk to him. My feeling is that life is too short to go around making enemies.

1) Justification of feelings is always a very tough and hard thing. This might be an unpopular statement here.. but I will give you what I feel is honesty. From your client's perspective he probably was shocked by your outburst, thought it was an overreaction and the ensuing conversation as you said could be interpreted as mildly threatening.

This doesn't mean that with all that happened to you, it isn't reasonable to be upset, you had a rough day! I send good vibes and thoughts of kittens in your direction! He doesn't know any of this though, is probably in a grumpy mood himself for whatever reason (at least having missed out on a fun romp) and even once you told him, he probably didn't truly understand the crux of the matter. Modern communication is tough, short and concise.. All statement and no context. You write a bit longer (like this note is turning out to be) and it's "a wall of text" ! Everyone should look up and remember "Fundamental Attribution Error"

Anyways, I will say, on this the ship has sailed into the horizon. We all have very terrible days. While "it builds character" is of little consolation right now, I will say, you will grow to be able to laugh about this much much sooner than you'll think! If we ever get the chance I'll tell you about my own super long "getting lost" story!

2). He should pay.. But he won't. When I reached that part of the story I was surprised and hopeful that it would turn around and be a pleasant interlude. I was surprised because of the context of the offer (so little time left, had to come to you, wouldn't have a date anyways) but also because it is uncommon. I suspect it wasn't a real offer anyways. Deposits are not common in this industry as well, except for very long dates booked weeks in advance, and even then only typically those that require travel and out of pocket expenses. I will say the world varies.. if I waste a lawyers time, I pay, if I don't show up for a hair stylist or some other type of service, they're pissed off at me but they don't expect payment (even though they may have a stated policy).

Mischa - I hope getting this all out has made you feel a bit better. As in many things there are no short and easy answers. I see no heroes or villains here, just victims, but sometimes some victims (him) aren't very nice or grateful.

<- Tea for you!

 

[Soapysoap66]

He fucked up but these things happen.
I suspect he was embarrassed about his mistake but at the same time I don't understand his "schedule" not being able to adjust.
I would have tried sucking it in and ask him for a reschedule at another time, and then explaining the expenses involved for cancelling the first date.

 

[Ken1988]

Yes, you were justified in getting upset and yes, he should've paid the booking fee.

I guess you shared your questions here because you've been thinking if there could've been an alternative scenario that would've placed both you and your client on better terms. You are really a professional.

As @Soapysoap66 does, I too suspect he was embarrassed about his own mistake. He may even have felt humiliated by his own mistake because it was so obvious even to him. When a person feel cornered, knowing it's all his/her fault, instinct often overrides reason. I suspect that his emotion swung between the total acceptance (where reason works) of his fault and the total rejection (where instinct works), then eventually he concluded cutting his communication with you would be the best to defend his pride and emotional stability...but probably you know these things very well. You seem to have been very careful not to corner him.

I actually think he still wants to pay the fee...isn't it possible to receive the fee in the form of gift through Amazon wish list or something like that? There must be the way to set it up while making your name and address secret. A cash transaction may be difficult at this stage. Giving him a position to take a sort of initiative (selecting a gift for you) may release him from the sense of guilt he was trapped in. It'd be way short for the fee, but may be better than nothing...Sorry that I cannot come up with a good idea, but what I can say is that it's not your fault at all. You did all you are supposed to do. I am so sorry that you've been through this unfortunate incident.

 

[Wwanderer]

There's lots of good comments and advice in many of the posts above, and I don't have much to add, but here's one perhaps new perspective:

Many men get uncomfortable and worried when women get strongly emotional in any way, especially if it is a woman they don't know well. It tends to give us/them a feeling that things are getting out of control and becoming unpredictable. In such a circumstance it may seem better/safer to a guy to distance himself from (flee) the situation rather than staying involved...not so much because of anything that happened up to that point but due to fear of what might happen next. As @Desktop said, reminding him that you had his personal info may well have made matters considerably worse if he was already concerned about the situation escalating further.

To be clear, I am not trying to blame you at all but simply indicating what his motives and impulses might have been, beyond simple embarrassment and frustration (with himself).

Fwiiw, my answers to your two questions are yes and definitely yes, respectively.

-Ww

 

[TAG_Member]

Unless it was his mistake with the hotel, he should not be expected to pay. Since he agreed to come and still pay, asking him to leave it at reception is kind of an insult. I understand the whole crying and mascara thing but consider how he would have felt - no date, needed to go all the way to another hotel and out of pocket AND asked to leave the money and leave.

The other parts after this really killed the situation. I would have probably reacted the same, if not worse if I were him.

All of this based on my understanding of the situation and reading what was posted of course and in no way having a go at you.

 

[Mischa Maxwell]

Thanks everyone.

I sent him these two lots of directions (above), one in Japanese, one in English. (Obviously unblurred). I thought that they were clear enough. He told me that he would find the hotel, no problems.

He did offer to re-book, but I was leaving the area the next day. (I had told him this).

I didn't want to freak him out by letting him see me crying with leaking mascara, hence why I asked him to leave the money at Reception.

It was also his birthday, and I had also bought beer and food to celebrate.

In his last correspondence with me, he said that he sees several escorts per week, at three times as much as my fee and has cancelled last-minute before.

Is it worth me asking him one more time to send me the money? Or should I just write off the loss of my $31k fee and associated expenses?

Moderator Edit: Removed readable content for privacy concerns.

 

[patty diaz]

View attachment 2963

View attachment 2962
Thanks everyone.

I sent him these two lots of directions (above), one in Japanese, one in English. (Obviously unblurred). I thought that they were clear enough. He told me that he would find the hotel, no problems.

He did offer to re-book, but I was leaving the area the next day. (I had told him this).

I didn't want to freak him out by letting him see me crying with leaking mascara, hence why I asked him to leave the money at Reception.

It was also his birthday, and I had also bought beer and food to celebrate.

In his last correspondence with me, he said that he sees several escorts per week, at three times as much as my fee and has cancelled last-minute before.

Is it worth me asking him one more time to send me the money? Or should I just write off the loss of my $31k fee and associated expenses?

No offense but even blurred I can read all that....Id be more careful not to post stuff like that.

 

[TAG_Member]

View attachment 2963

View attachment 2962
Thanks everyone.

I sent him these two lots of directions (above), one in Japanese, one in English. (Obviously unblurred). I thought that they were clear enough. He told me that he would find the hotel, no problems.

He did offer to re-book, but I was leaving the area the next day. (I had told him this).

I didn't want to freak him out by letting him see me crying with leaking mascara, hence why I asked him to leave the money at Reception.

It was also his birthday, and I had also bought beer and food to celebrate.

In his last correspondence with me, he said that he sees several escorts per week, at three times as much as my fee and has cancelled last-minute before.

Is it worth me asking him one more time to send me the money? Or should I just write off the loss of my $31k fee and associated expenses?

Don't think there is any issue with the hotel name being shown.

I would write off the loss and try to get him back as a client (if that's something you want). He sounds like he has the cash so hopefully he will reimburse you the next time he books you again. You will have a higher chance this way rather than to simply ask again.

 

[TAG Manager]

No offense but even blurred I can read all that....Id be more careful not to post stuff like that.

I've removed them now. (Just in case..)

 

[Mischa Maxwell]

I've removed them now. (Just in case..)

Sorry, I obviously didn't blur them enough. In any case, it was a Love Hotel and I was only there for a brief period.

 

[TokyoML]

I don't know....
Probably not an answer you want to hear...but this is my personal opinion.

I think Ms. Maxwell is a little bit too emotional. I would assume someone doing this professionally would have a "thicker" skin. Have a complete meltdown over a simple canceled appointment? (I know..I know... you already rented the room, the emotional expectation of the date, etc.) but still... I think this type of problem, if it's even called a problem, happens quite often. Maybe every few months?

The fact that you even threaten him with exposing public information makes the matter much worse. What happens if he has your public information (phone and address) and you decided not to show up.

And after all this... you are still contemplating about asking him for the whole 31K without the service? For real? If anything, maybe asking him for the room rate and maybe rounded up to the nearest 万 would be a common ground.

I personally think you should let it go and learn from the experience; and become a stronger person.

 

[BlackJack1]

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!

 

[Wwanderer]

has cancelled last-minute before.

Hmmm...did he say or imply that he has not paid any fee in the past when he cancelled last-minute? If so, that's highly inconsiderate, disrespectful and uncouth behavior imo.

the loss of my $31k fee and associated expenses?

I assume/hope that the above is a typo and should have been ¥31k and not US$31k or AU$31k !?

-Ww

 

[MikeH]

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!

I think you are using the old version. The new, and correct, version is: what doesn't kill you hurts like hell.

 

[e-smile]

am I the only one thinking the cancellation fee is a scam ?

 

[Exnocomment]

am I the only one thinking the cancellation fee is a scam ?

While my initial reaction was a knee jerk "Wtf?" .. I'm trying to understand where you're coming from.

So I don't know about Japan, but in many places if you no snow, cancel your appointment, etc. Those shops and independents have no way of forcing you to pay a cancellation fee but can blacklist you. Some shops share blacklists amongst each other.

Some international escorts have to plan their itineraries many days or weeks in advance, especially for those that do travel tours, so cancelled bookings are a real hit to their income while they are bearing costs (travel, hotels, other overhead). If a lady has an established clientele, she can reduce risk of "flaky" new customers during a tour, where by demanding a deposit. That is typically how cancellation fees are charged. This also applies if you're taking a lady away on a vacation trip for example, which can range in the thousands to tens of thousands of USD, and the lady has blanked out her schedule and isn't taking bookings.

 

[e-smile]

While my initial reaction was a knee jerk "Wtf?" .. I'm trying to understand where you're coming from.

So I don't know about Japan, but in many places if you no snow, cancel your appointment, etc. Those shops and independents have no way of forcing you to pay a cancellation fee but can blacklist you. Some shops share blacklists amongst each other.

Some international escorts have to plan their itineraries many days or weeks in advance, especially for those that do travel tours, so cancelled bookings are a real hit to their income while they are bearing costs (travel, hotels, other overhead). If a lady has an established clientele, she can reduce risk of "flaky" new customers during a tour, where by demanding a deposit. That is typically how cancellation fees are charged. This also applies if you're taking a lady away on a vacation trip for example, which can range in the thousands to tens of thousands of USD, and the lady has blanked out her schedule and isn't taking bookings.

that's fair and a customer can also blacklist those asking for a cancellation fee so it's the same outcome. the deal should be settled once you meet not before you see the actual person. we're not talking about reserving a seat in a plane here.

she blanked her schedule ? yeah well he blanked his schedule too and hasn't taken the service and in this case she decided the place and he was the one looking for it. would he have the right to ask for a cancellation fee if he decided the place and she misunderstood it for another ?

of course it's annoying when someone doesn't show up that's why it's better to have the first meeting at the most convenient place. this way the escort won't risk to waste travel money and this way the customer still have the right to not settle the deal if the person he met isn't as he imagined (happens all the time in Japan and it's a scam).

and threatening his reputation as customer isn't a smart move, her reputation as an escort is more important and bad review from him would be more regrettable.

 

[Exnocomment]

that's fair and a customer can also blacklist those asking for a cancellation fee so it's the same outcome. the deal should be settled once you meet not before you see the actual person. we're not talking about reserving a seat in a plane here.

she blanked her schedule ? yeah well he blanked his schedule too and hasn't taken the service and in this case she decided the place and he was the one looking for it. would he have the right to ask for a cancellation fee if he decided the place and she misunderstood it for another ?

of course it's annoying when someone doesn't show up that's why it's better to have the first meeting at the most convenient place. this way the escort won't risk to waste travel money and this way the customer still have the right to not settle the deal if the person he met isn't as he imagined (happens all the time in Japan and it's a scam).

and threatening his reputation as customer isn't a smart move, her reputation as an escort is more important and bad review from him would be more regrettable.

I'm not disagreeing (mostly) other than what I've already said previously, he "should" pay at least some cancellation fee if it is entirely his fault, but the odds of him doing so are generally quite low which is why I was surprised he offered it only to back out.

I will say I have "blacklisted" some providers for being flaky personally. I have also been offered discounts for future bookings if they had to cancel or no show last minute due to their own issues (which I guess is a sort of reverse cancellation fee)

As for a "scam" - bait & switch happens all over the world. It's up to all of us to make sure we don't reward that behaviour by walking out. It's a bit of apples and oranges though?

 

[e-smile]

I'm not disagreeing (mostly) other than what I've already said previously, he "should" pay at least some cancellation fee if it is entirely his fault, but the odds of him doing so are generally quite low which is why I was surprised he offered it only to back out.

I will say I have "blacklisted" some providers for being flaky personally. I have also been offered discounts for future bookings if they had to cancel or no show last minute due to their own issues (which I guess is a sort of reverse cancellation fee)

As for a "scam" - bait & switch happens all over the world. It's up to all of us to make sure we don't reward that behaviour by walking out. It's a bit of apples and oranges though?

his fault here is a subjective concept.

I think he only should pay transportation only and that is if they agreed on it before.
if not he should only pay for a service he got.

as for of the discount you got (which is a commercial gesture) the equivalent would be that he pays her a bonus on a future booking. but I'd be surprised he decides to book someone who threatened him.