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College Dating?

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Raini

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I'm going to Sophia University in Japan.

I'm not going to lie, I have never been in a relationship with anyone.

That is my fault, of course. I'm very academia-oriented and tend to prefer being on the "fringe"; that is, observing from afar but rarely participating in group activities. Not that I don't enjoy doing things, I just can't stand to do things with people that aren't worth my time.

That is not to say I'm better than them; on the same token I am not worth their time either.

I would guess that it's more about the efficiency of time spent with people rather than the people themselves, but who knows.

Anyhow!

I have some questions about dating in Japan, especially in regards to dating while at University.

1) Where are good places to meet people? Preferably energetic people. Not necessarily athletic; I mean a person who "exudes" energy. Something like a passionate person, although everyone has something they are passionate about...

2) What sort of activities are to be done, apart from sex. Common date activities, for example.

3) From my understanding the Japanese aren't strongly interested in sex. Would it be considered strange for me to withhold sex until I know a person better? The answer to this question won't have an effect on my current position regarding sex, I'm just curious and unknowledgable of Japanese dating practices.

4) I also understand that the Japanese generally have low libido. Despite my (seemingly obvious) virginity and aversion to sex early in a relationship, I am very sexual. I have no religious beliefs regarding sex. When I do decide to have sex, will I have to satisfy myself or will my partner (assuming my partner is male; although I also like women, they seem too dramatic as a whole for a serious relationship. That being said, maybe the women I would associate with will be more mature) respond to sexual advances. I am looking for a general answer regarding males, preferably Japanese, as a whole. I do realize that everyone is different and that such generalizations may not apply to any particular person.

5) I was born infertile. I realize that for many people who may seek long term relationships or marriage, this is a deal breaker. What are your opinions on this matter in regards to Japan and Japanese culture?

6) I have heard terms such as "carnivorous" and "grass-eating" in reference to types of males. I would like opinions on this matter.

7) Is it considered rude to spend time by yourself while in a relationship? It seems as though couples rarely spend time apart, but I would lose my mind being with someone constantly.

8) I tend to prefer spending time with people older than me (30-45 range) and often find people in that age range to be more attractive. While I have no qualms about dating in my age range, what would your advice be on the matter to dating an older person.

9) I will now describe my physical attributes. Please give me your opinions on how my appearance may affect dating and/or general life in Japan. From my understanding, my body type is not "popular" in Japan; however, my coloring is. I do not know anything about Japanese fashion or what manner of clothing is considered "attractive".

Height: 5'3"
US Shoe Size: Women's 11 (supposedly it will be impossible to find shoes in Japan)
Body Shape: Hourglass (broad shoulders, D cup, wide hips, small waist (emphasized due to shoulders/bust/hips)
Body Type: Thin/Athletic (I have muscular legs, especially my thighs. Not huge, but you can see "muscle lines")
Hair: Medium-Dark blonde, straight, tailbone length. Generally worn in braids or braided buns.
Skin: Clear and very pale (I'm terrified of skin cancer and sun damaged skin, so I don't tan)
Eyes: Blue
"Style": I like modest, feminine clothing. Think along the lines of a Catholic schoolgirl. That being said, I would love to try provocative clothing some day!

Thank you for spending the time to read/answer this.
 
Ok... I read this thinking you were male.

So, just to clarify: Female and you're interested in both sexes or did I misread #4?
 
Here are some answers to your questions:

1) You're going to have to hit up the clubs for those energetic outgoing people. Don't waste time on dating sites unless you've got the time to sift through the crap to find a gem. You may find some groups of people on campus, it will be kind of a 50/50 thing. Japanese people are very revealing... lots goes on behind closed doors that is barely visible to the untrained eye.

2) Common date activities: No different here than anywhere else. Honestly, I can't say that the dates here are any different. The major difference is where you go at the end of the date. Do you go home alone? or Do you go to a love hotel? :)

3) Japanese men, depending on the type... may not be aggressive and may wait for you to make a move. I found (not by dating, but feedback) is that some men have watched too much Japanese porn... which ruins things for some girls. Other guys may be too 'mothered' and hesitant. There are 'regular' sexually-aroused guys out there, but it may take some time to find the right match. (if you include other non-Japanese, it may go faster, lol.)

4) Basically, not true. (refer to my message) Yes, it is true for some Japanese, but refer to my closed door comments.

5) No opinion - it's going to depend on if you're looking to go long term and what your partner wants... hard to answer.

6) Same as #3 - there are both types here. I'm not into guys personally, so maybe one of our resident ladies can answer. aka @Ladylisa

7) No. You can have personal time and it not be considered rude.

8) Older people will be more mature, that much I can tell you. They will probably have a better feel of your wants and needs, with their previous experiences. It's just a matter of expectations on both sides.

9) You will find attraction for sure. I don't understand your height vs. shoe size, is that right? And yes, it will be next to impossible to find shoes that fit. I wear about the same size as you and even for a guy, it's a pain the ass to find shoes that fit right. Your D cups, the non-Japanese D version anyway, will be a hit. Fact.

Hope this helps a little ;)
 
Your body type and coloring sounds a lot like mine ... Are you my younger sister?

(Except I'm one of those rare people who can buy shoes here)

Yes, it might not be considered to be a popular body type here, but trust me you'll do just fine. After all men - including men here - like a wider range of body types than those popularized in a fashion magazine .... Especially when there are boobs involved;)

(If you think western men get turned to jelly by the sight of cleavage you haven't seen a Japanese man confronted by the sight of a pair of creamy western D cups.)

The white skin is *not* a problem. In fact I remember when I first got complimented about my white skin ... I was rather confused that my lack of tanning ability was considered a benefit rather than a problem.

As for the rest ... The longer I am here the less I know - but I suggest joining clubs or groups you are interested in.
 
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Ladylisa said:
The white skin is *not* a problem. In fact I remember when I first got complimented about my white skin ... I was rather confused that my lack of tanning ability was considered a benefit rather than a problem.
Click to expand...

A lot of Japanese girls dream to have the pale white skin, it's very attractive to them and men... While us western white men, find the more darker/tan skin attractive. :)
 
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TAG Manager said:
A lot of Japanese girls dream to have the pale white skin, it's very attractive to them and men... While us western white men, find the more darker/tan skin attractive. :)
Click to expand...

Hehe... I do quite okay with western white men too ..... so my pale white skin isn't *that *much of a disadvantage:p And they can certainly admire a creamy white breast in the right circumstances;)

But no western white men don't tend to find my skin colour that exotic:D
But ... as I've discovered (with my recent western white man fetish) reverse exoticism can also be very enjoyable;)
 
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Check out Tokyo Meetup. It sounds like you need to get out more.
 
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