Extreme Form Of Lmr Or Crazy Mind Games?

[TokyoJoeblow]

I had a new student last night and before class my boss told me after class, this new female student was going to the drinking party after work. She was telling me how cute she was and how she is really tan, etc. It seemed kind of strange...almost like she was hooking me up with her, but I met her and taught her English anyway.

While I was teaching her and a group of other Japanese, I had each student practice asking each other questions. This woman randomely asked this other female student if she is single? Then this other woman said she was and responded by asking if she is single as well. This woman said she is single but wants a boyfriend. Then she said she doesn't like Japanese guys. Then when asked what kind of guys she likes, she said white guys and looked at me and smiled. I wasn't sure if she really likes me or is playing head games.

After work we all went to the bar to drink. I was talking with her and drinking for about an hour. During this time, I added her on Line and she said that I look really handsome in my Line photo. I told her she is cute as well. We were really hitting it off in the bar. She was smiling and laughing a lot at my stories and jokes. When we went outside, it was like a switch was flipped and her personality changed completely.

Outside, she offered to drive me to the JR station. While walking to her car, I put my arm around her. This is where things got weird. I don't know if this was an extreme form of LMR or if she is just crazy and playing games? She suddenly said that she doesn't like guys. I asked if she likes girls and she paused for a moment and then said maybe? She still gave me a ride to the station, but she actually said "No, I don't know, I'm crazy" in response to me saying I like her and want to hangout with her more?

I literally have no idea what the hell happened last night. Has anyone had an experience like this? I hope for advice from those who have extensive experience dating Japanese woman of various personality types.

 

[just4fun]

When I was teaching English in a situation like yours, it was forbidden to meet students after class.

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

Although I have no teaching experience, as just4fun pointed out, it is usually off limits for good reason to date students. As you virtually try to jump on anything that doesn't run away at first chance, you may consider the possibility that you build up a reputation already and girls just have fun playing that horny gaijin.

There are of course lots of different possibilities which I'm sure Solong can elaborate well, but in general physical contact in public is in Japan much less common and that may very well be a reason to for her to back off. Especially since you just met. Just in case she really looks for a boyfriend, she also may not translate that as fuckbuddy like you do.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

This woman is about 22, so it could just be immaturity.

I messaged her good morning on Line and she replied good morning. I said sorry about last night and said we can just be friends. She replied: It's ok!!! exclamations and all. I asked her if she really meant it when she said she didn't like guys and her reply: I'm guy!!!

It has to be immaturity right? She could be a lesbian. She did go to an all girls Christian high school. That could explain all the weirdness.

 

[Manny]

If I was you I would just try and forget about it. It seems like at first she was in the moment, it passed her by and changed her mind about you for whatever reason. You are never going to get a straight answer from her with gems like "I'm guy!" Insulting your suspension of disbelief. It's best to leave it be for the sake of sanity sakes.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

If I was you I would just try and forget about it. It seems like at first she was in the moment, it passed her by and changed her mind about you for whatever reason. You are never going to get a straight answer from her with gems like "I'm guy!" Insulting your suspension of disbelief. It's best to leave it be for the sake of sanity sakes.

Yes, when she said: "I'm guy!"
I realized how full of shit she is. I hope to never see her again. If I do have to teach her again, I will just teach her English and not spend any alone time with her.

 

[just4fun]

Yes, when she said: "I'm guy!"
I realized how full of shit she is. I hope to never see her again. If I do have to teach her again, I will just teach her English and not spend any alone time with her.

Thanks how it should be anyways. Don't shit where you eat!

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

@TokyoJoeblow
It is amazing how fast you switch your opinion and insult someone.

First of all, if she was really feeling like a guy in a female body or vice versa, that is in no way a reason to insult such a person, even if it may lead to you two being sexually incompatible.

On the other hand you didn't mention anything about or English level or whether you talked in English or Japanese, but unless she is very proficient in English (at which point she probably wouldn't attend your English school), she may have just used English improperly. Maybe she wanted to say "I'm into guys". After all "I'm guy" is not a correct English sentence either. Even Japanese with quite okay English level sometimes express themselves really strangely, especially when trying to turn something word by word to English.

In no way do I want to encourage you to date her again, as just4fun so nicely put it ... but calling someone full of shit is way off. Especially cause all she did was not falling for you.

 

[Desktop]

I would imagine she might not come back to the school & specifically blame you to get her money back.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

Thanks how it should be anyways. Don't shit where you eat!

@TokyoJoeblow
It is amazing how fast you switch your opinion and insult someone.

First of all, if she was really feeling like a guy in a female body or vice versa, that is in no way a reason to insult such a person, even if it may lead to you two being sexually incompatible.

On the other hand you didn't mention anything about or English level or whether you talked in English or Japanese, but unless she is very proficient in English (at which point she probably wouldn't attend your English school), she may have just used English improperly. Maybe she wanted to say "I'm into guys". After all "I'm guy" is not a correct English sentence either. Even Japanese with quite okay English level sometimes express themselves really strangely, especially when trying to turn something word by word to English.

In no way do I want to encourage you to date her again, as just4fun so nicely put it ... but calling someone full of shit is way off. Especially cause all she did was not falling for you.

She definitely didn't try to say that she liked guys. She said she didn't like guys and understood me when I asked if she likes girls instead of guys. She hesitated, but there was a look of understanding in her eyes. The hesitation was due to nervousness and insecurity not langauge.

Both me and her love to surf. I'm from California. We both also can speak a decent amount of Mandarin and Japanese. You would think we would be a great match, but of course nothing makes sense in Japan.

She is just young, immature and doesn't know what she wants. I'm starting to think a large number of Japanese women are emotionally immature and teases.

 

[Solong]

I had a new student last night and before class my boss told me after class, this new female student was going to the drinking party after work. She was telling me how cute she was and how she is really tan, etc. It seemed kind of strange...almost like she was hooking me up with her, but I met her and taught her English anyway.

While I was teaching her and a group of other Japanese, I had each student practice asking each other questions. This woman randomely asked this other female student if she is single? Then this other woman said she was and responded by asking if she is single as well. This woman said she is single but wants a boyfriend. Then she said she doesn't like Japanese guys. Then when asked what kind of guys she likes, she said white guys and looked at me and smiled. I wasn't sure if she really likes me or is playing head games.

After work we all went to the bar to drink. I was talking with her and drinking for about an hour. During this time, I added her on Line and she said that I look really handsome in my Line photo. I told her she is cute as well. We were really hitting it off in the bar. She was smiling and laughing a lot at my stories and jokes. When we went outside, it was like a switch was flipped and her personality changed completely.

Outside, she offered to drive me to the JR station. While walking to her car, I put my arm around her. This is where things got weird. I don't know if this was an extreme form of LMR or if she is just crazy and playing games? She suddenly said that she doesn't like guys. I asked if she likes girls and she paused for a moment and then said maybe? She still gave me a ride to the station, but she actually said "No, I don't know, I'm crazy" in response to me saying I like her and want to hangout with her more?

I literally have no idea what the hell happened last night. Has anyone had an experience like this? I hope for advice from those who have extensive experience dating Japanese woman of various personality types.

What you described isn't LMR, it's called ASD in PUA.

LMR- Is when you are in a sex escalating location (not the street), like a hotel or your apartment bedroom, and she starts freaking out or going full retard on you.

This can be where a woman is overwhelmed with fear of sex or even the penis, and the woman becomes irrational.

It can be surprising, where she was kissing or holding, and things appeared to progress smoothly and normally before she went nuts or got weird.

ASD (Anti Slut/Sex Defense)- Is where she is overly worried about her image, reputation, or being labeled a slut. She will often be overly paranoid, like everybody is supposedly watching her or knows her, or as if invisible ghosts are constantly watching her every move.

The more narcissistic, egotistical, arrogant (acting like a famous movie star when she's NOT) or childish and immature the woman is (26 but acts 16), the worse or more odd her behavior can be.

The excessive paranoia and weird behavior, is often in the context that the woman doesn't realize not everybody cares about what she does specifically and her inability to think independently like an adult.

Such women will often lie and make up lies, in any effort to appear Cinderella and "almost virgin-like". Often she is excessively immature in her thinking or has unreconciled negative thinking towards sex and her sexuality.

LMR and ASD are handled differently in most forms of PUA. Some simple help on handling these, using my approach and observations:

Dealing with ASD

You limit ASD, by taking her on a date to a public area (she lives and works in Gotanda, so date in Ikebukuro) where nobody knows her. Away from near her work or home. You then convey to her in conversations, that nobody around here cares what she does, you are unknown in the area, and that you are trustworthy with secrets.

This is best done as 3rd party stories, where you talk about others, not just yourself. Like a story about your co-workers having sex on a business trip, then the woman telling you, and you keeping it a secret.

This cuts down on the paranoia, and some women will subconsciously realize it's unnecessary to be so uptight.

Dealing with LMR

1) You talk about sexual related stories.

Not too detailed graphic, but in general and more roundabout like seeing a couple having sex in the park while jogging. You also analyze how she reacts to sexual related stories, as this gives you a clue about her comfort level with sex.

Note- Repeat, don't get too graphic, vulgar, tell too many, or only talk about sex stories. Just 2 or 3, over 1 hour or so, to gauge her reactions.

These stories psychologically prep her mind for sex.

2) Take her to a semi-private and dimly lit place, where you can hug and kiss.

Some bars and clubs are perfect, where they have a couch and you can sit next to her. A karaoke booth, a park, etc... can work. You must study and find good places near you.

What you do NOT want to do is suddenly try to kiss her in the street or abruptly go from across the table in a brightly lit restaurant, to trying to wrestle her panties off in your room. Even on going for sex on that same day as the date, you want a physically smooth transition. This is called KINO in PUA.

The point is, she gets comfortable and used to you touching her. Plus with the sex related stories, she is more physically and mentally ready for sex. When you take her to a hotel or your apartment for sexual escalation, she is more ready.

If not, you can more gracefully separate from her. There is less awkward or embarrassing moments, and you have a more friendly smooth vibe, even if she's childish or nutty acting. As the guy, you try to direct the interaction in semi pre-thoughtout steps, so things transition smoothly and comfortably as possible.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

@Solong - Really sound advice. I will follow it closely.

The strange thing is the whole time we were in the bar, I had my arm around her and she didn't push me away at all. It wasn't until after we went outside that she did...she must have just changed her mind.

 

[Solong]

@Solong - Really sound advice. I will follow it closely.

The strange thing is the whole time we were in the bar, I had my arm around her and she didn't push me away at all. It wasn't until after we went outside that she did...she must have just changed her mind.

Keyword- outside. As in possibly worried and paranoid about who might know or see her.

Also be aware of how far you are from her home and work.

In Japan, many women want to be sneaky and hide showing any affection. Many reasons: shame, paranoia, cheating on boyfriend/ husband, fear of co-workers, fear of public opinion about being publicly seen with a foreigner (as Japanese are a separate alien species), neighbors, etc...

You also haven't had sex with her yet, and until you do, many Japanese women can quickly turn cold on you. In fact, even after sex, such Japanese women can pretend they don't know you or cut you off. Not all Japanese women are fucked up like that, but keep in mind some very much are very sneaky and she-devils in that way.