I have basically zero Japanese languages skills but want to learn the basics in order to get past a techno. If I need to fake my way into a soap, what phrases should I learn to say to the techno in order to be admitted inside? I’ll probably have no idea what he is saying to me, but I’m looking for others who have done the same.
Faking Japanese language skills to get into a soap
- Thread starter Tman1972
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Forget that approach and go with a soap that accepts foreigners. There is a main soapland thread here that is stickied. You will have multiple options.
Lukes
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Just don't... there are, as the other responses indicate, soaps that will take you regardless of language skill.
Trying to bluff your way into one that requires Japanese speaking ability is just going to annoy the hall staff at best... or if you do manage to make it past them, there's also very good chance that the girl will summon the hall staff to have you removed, in which case you will not receive a refund.
But you all are forgetting the fun factor.
Do you speak Japanese? Yes
Do you want to have sex with a girl? Yes.
Which girl do you want? That one.
She is not here, can that really ugly one take her place? Yes.
Hi, you want full service? Yes.
You want me to fist fuck your ass? Yes.
You want me to bite off your ball? Yes.
Do you speak Japanese? Yes
Do you want to have sex with a girl? Yes.
Which girl do you want? That one.
She is not here, can that really ugly one take her place? Yes.
Hi, you want full service? Yes.
You want me to fist fuck your ass? Yes.
You want me to bite off your ball? Yes.
MikeH
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Better yet learn to speak Japanese. Many more shops will open their doors to you and you will also have more fun with the girls.
For what it’s worth my n5 Japanese is totally fine for soaplands that take “Japanese speaking foreigners”. They don’t really want to talk to you, they just want to know you can talk. I generally understand only about 20pct of what they are saying, but as it’s the 20pct that matters it’s ok.
I think if you get really fluent you can start to talk your way into more no-foreigners-at-all places, but that’s a whole other level.
I think if you get really fluent you can start to talk your way into more no-foreigners-at-all places, but that’s a whole other level.
Lukes
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There's a saying about learning the 20% of something that lets you do 80% of whatever it is you're doing. Sorry, the exact wording escapes me at the moment.
But it's true. If you know the basics and most commonly used words/phrases, you're already well on your way to being able to get around at these places. Bringing that fluency up just makes it that much better.
MikeH
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Yes you can but then it's not only the language you need to learn. In general decades of sales experience will help you but if you are close to the US bases then letting them know you are not american and actually don't like them barbarians at all can work as a short cut.
There's a minimum limit of Japanese most places require for everyone to have a safe and fun time. I'm not even going into the obvious dark place, did you consider that not knowing "Be careful the floor is slippery there," might end up with the ambulance picking your naked ass up in a brothel for the whole world to witness?
Even if you get past the tencho by saying generic statements like "hai"
"Sonotoridesu"
"Kekkodesu"
You will be outted by the soapland girl. In that case instead of having sex with you she can just complain that your not Japanese, have you removed and keep her money. Wouldn't you do the same if you given that opportunity?
"Sonotoridesu"
"Kekkodesu"
You will be outted by the soapland girl. In that case instead of having sex with you she can just complain that your not Japanese, have you removed and keep her money. Wouldn't you do the same if you given that opportunity?
And this is good advice and the route I am taking. Learning the basics and working my self up. Plus learning Japanese should open up doors in non p4p opportunities as ....
Who knows, maybe I will be able to order food at a restaurant using words instead of hand signals.
TokyoJoeblow
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If you are an evil, selfish and shitty person you would I guess lol.
Totally agree if they never stated their 'Japanese only' policy. You can't blame a man for trying to speak Japanese in Japan
Totally agree if they never stated their 'Japanese only' policy. You can't blame a man for trying to speak Japanese in Japan
Sorry I shoulda been more clear, I agree with your point exactly. I just assumed OP was talking about going to a "Japanese only" soapland. I guess the wording of "faking" in the title lead me to believe that
Just curious do you have Japanese ancestry?
If you aren't Japanese and don't look it you have no chance.
If you are actually Japanese, just don't speak the language, realize that incredibly socially awkward people go to these.
Once you get a N5 Level of Japanese so that you can understand the basics, just act like you are incredibly nervous socially awkward and shy and can't communicate properly because of that you might have a chance.
MikeH
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Whoa, calm your titties buddy; no need to shoot for stars when only thing you need to do is to understand the rules of an oppai bar.
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Lukes
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Thanks! Sounds much more intelligent than what I said, lol.That's the Pareto principle. 80% of your results from 20% of your effort. Business management 101.
Whoa, calm your titties buddy; no need to shoot for stars when only thing you need to do is to understand the rules of an oppai bar.
I must admit. Knowing enough nihingo to get in an oppai bar is a goal of mine.....
Lukes
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Ken1988
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If you are evil, selfish and shitty Japanese, you wouldn't, and that's the problem. Even if the tencho admits you inside, the girl wouldn't, and that's the problem.
Thanks for your input everyone. I guess I should have been a bit clearer. My goal is not to try and get into a Japanese-only soap, there’s no way in hell that a fat white American with no Japanese skills would fool them I read about soaps that take foreigners (Putite Royal, DH) and pink salons (Jan Jan, Happy) and I’m content with going to those places. There are a few others soaps, pink salons, and oppai bars that I’ve read about that take foreigners if you know a little Japanese; those are more of the places that I was referring to. I figured if I greeted them properly and told them right off the bat that I don’t speak much Japanese (in Japanese) then maybe I have a shot to get in.
I read about soaps that take foreigners (Putite Royal, DH) and pink salons (Jan Jan, Happy) and I’m content with going to those places. There are a few others soaps, pink salons, and oppai bars that I’ve read about that take foreigners if you know a little Japanese; those are more of the places that I was referring to. I figured if I greeted them properly and told them right off the bat that I don’t speak much Japanese (in Japanese) then maybe I have a shot to get in.
SatoKM
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Actually it happened to me. My parents are both Japanese but I was born abroad. When I came the first time to Japan, I can hardly speak a complete phrase in Japanese. I told a very close Japanese friend of mine about my interest in "Fuzoku", and he told me about some basic phrases and steps on how to get into a soapland and pink salon. It got kicked out of 3 places of about 12 I tried (so I guess it was a good average). I always played the quiet/weirdo/shy type of guy so most of the times I didn't get any issues to get into a "Japanese Only" place.
warubuta
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Have no fear! If you are born of pure Japanese lineage, no matter how many hundres of years and tens of generations your ancestry has been away from Japan, it doesnt matter you are still Japanese! Like Kazuo Ishiguro. He got the Nobel prize in Liturature because he is kind of Japanese. Alburto Fujimori would be an exception. He was also kind of Japanese but then he was accused of all kinds of corruption and human rights violations. He is kind of not Japanese anymore.