Finding good bars

[nyanko]

I've been in Japan about two years now, so I don't know if things might have been different before COVID, but I've had a lot of trouble finding good bars for meeting women.

My Japanese is good enough that I've pulled a few girls that don't speak any English at all, and have some actual friends that don't speak any English too. (I have JLPT N2).

But for the life of me, I have had terrible luck finding drinking establishments where:

• People don't just stay with the group they came in with (izakayas, etc, are out) and will talk to their neighbors at the bar, maybe even next tables.
• The music isn't too loud to have a conversation (clubs, etc, are out) or it's one of those places that's supposed to have whispered conversations (おしゃれ bars, etc)
• It's not all regulars.
• Has an actual bar, so going in to have a drink alone isn't weird.

I've found a few, normally smaller places, that fit the bill, but it's taken a lot of searching and trial and error. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to find good places, especially if you're in a new part of town or new city?

 

[Fumisancho79]

Hotel bars tick most of these boxes

 

[yeti]

antenna america, yokohama branch
hotel bars (as mentioned)
the aldgate in Shibuya
*'what the dickens' and the 'hub' in the middle of shibuya are great places to pull.... but, admittedly are noisy

 

[Fumisancho79]

antenna america, yokohama branch
hotel bars (as mentioned)
the aldgate in Shibuya
*'what the dickens' and the 'hub' in the middle of shibuya are great places to pull.... but, admittedly are noisy

I find the hub to be a sausage fest on most days but maybe I am going at the wrong time? 😅

 

[Maxblack]

Forgive for not knowing Young People Dating Practices, but doesn’t everyone tend to go in groups? Like several girls at the next izakaya table over get approached by several guys? Or places that do aiseki with groups?
Then again last time I tried picking up a lady at a bar was two emperors ago…

 

[Kevt]

Forgive for not knowing Young People Dating Practices, but doesn’t everyone tend to go in groups? Like several girls at the next izakaya table over get approached by several guys? Or places that do aiseki with groups?
Then again last time I tried picking up a lady at a bar was two emperors ago…

That's been my experience as well in terms of bars (although I'm a but older as well). Go as a group with wingmen (or wingwomen). If any of the group clicks with any of the other group, then groups join and then everyone tries to hook up. No idea how young folks do it nowadays with apps and all either. lol

 

[Danbo]

Forgive for not knowing Young People Dating Practices, but doesn’t everyone tend to go in groups? Like several girls at the next izakaya table over get approached by several guys? Or places that do aiseki with groups?
Then again last time I tried picking up a lady at a bar was two emperors ago…

I agree....at least in the bigger places. In smaller bars you will meet people who come alone very frequently, but they are usually male 😂 .....women that head out for drinks on their own are not that common.

 

[Keihan]

Like most of the other old-timers here, I'm quite out of the loop. In my time in Japan--and I'm coming up on the 20th anniversary of my arrival in Osaka--I basically just became a regular at two or three small local bars where a lot of the regulars (of a wide age range) would often just drink too much, go home together and fuck and then pretend like nothing happened the next week. I made lifelong friends at those bars.

Otherwise, assuming you're still young and have normal friends, I would assume the SOP hasn't changed much? You grab three or four friends and hit a cheap izakaya, hopefully you're seated next to a group of similarly-aged girls in similar numbers, chat them up and then let nature take its course? Set up a konpa for next week and the savvy guys end up humping at a nearby LH or in the Jankara room?

Honestly, once I hit my 30s I really began viewing bars differently. Sometimes, you just want a nice, quiet bar counter where you can get a great beer (and ten or fifteen more), sit down next to random assholes with similar gripes and trade life failure stories for a couple of hours while getting comfortably numb. I've said it many times, the 1F bar counter at Devilcraft Kanda is my favorite place in Tokyo (with clothes on). None of the pressure involved with trying to score ass and impress anyone.

Where exactly in Japan are you?

 

[yeti]

I find the hub to be a sausage fest on most days but maybe I am going at the wrong time? 😅

definitely hit or miss

 

[CharlieSimms]

Public Stand

 

[Killie154]

Public Stand

I have been to public stand a number of times, but the music was too loud to have a decent conversation and there really wasn't a place to sit.
For the most part, it always felt like the people there always came with a friend as well, which made it harder to approach them imo.

 

[CharlieSimms]

For the most part, it always felt like the people there always came with a friend as well, which made it harder to approach them imo.

This is Japan after all. And arguably gals and guys will move in pairs at a place like PS. Though I have seen foreign guys approach pairs alone with varying degrees of success. But it is possible. Alcohol serves as the ultimate lubricant in that case and in pretty much everything that goes on there.

 

[Killie154]

This is Japan after all. And arguably gals and guys will move in pairs at a place like PS. Though I have seen foreign guys approach pairs alone with varying degrees of success. But it is possible. Alcohol serves as the ultimate lubricant in that case and in pretty much everything that goes on there.

Which is definitely fair.

I would definitely say that some people score and thrive in those places. Especially in clubs where you can't hear a word but for some reason they get laid all of the time.

Was always curious as to what that deciding factor was.

 

[Sudsy]

the music was too loud to have a decent conversation

The perfect excuse to get closer so she can hear you.

 

[Fumisancho79]

This is Japan after all. And arguably gals and guys will move in pairs at a place like PS. Though I have seen foreign guys approach pairs alone with varying degrees of success. But it is possible. Alcohol serves as the ultimate lubricant in that case and in pretty much everything that goes on there.

Yes this is something to get used to here. Last time I was at the HUB there were 3 separate pairs of girls I chatted to - two of the girls were even in a corner with their backs to the room - still happy to be nampa’d though 😅

 

[Alice]

deciding factor

Looks?

 

[MikeH]

Looks?

I was sure it was character.

 

[Killie154]

Looks?

Honestly, I would think so.

But I have seen really genuinely hot looking guys being turned down out the club.

And I have seen some people who have just stayed with the girl the longest, get her. Regardless of the fact that they have nothing special about them in terms of character or looks, just that they were there.

So I really want to say looks, but it feels like it is just about dancing on them until they say yes, which also feels terrible to say.