First Date in Japan

[RogMeer]

I've set up a date last week by cold approaching a girl at a cafe - she agreed to go out with me on the spot and I exchanged the details over LINE in the following days. Her English is decent and she seems eager to meet up with me this Thursday night.
I'm posting this in the NAMPA/PUA category because I'm looking to seal the deal ASAP and I'm not looking into anything serious. I also told her I will probably leave the country after summer so I've been pretty clear on that front.
I'm still very new in the area so I was planning to bring her to a TGI Fridays for some drinks and maybe grab a bite. After an hour or 2 I wanted to take her to the park to find some privacy and shoot my shot by kissing her.
Problem is that I live in shared housing and can't bring her home to seal the deal even if she wanted to. There are plenty of love hotels around the area, but I doubt most girls would be down to go to a love hotel on a first date even when they are hot and ready. Any tips on the logistics of this operation? My biggest hurdle is just finding a place where I can physically escalate without much time for last minute resistance on her side.

 

[TAG Manager]

TGI Fridays

This is a bad idea. I'm only saying this because, nothing is really good there anymore. I'm surprised they are still in business.

I think your first obstacle is getting her to show up. Many guys get contact information and a promise of a date, but there's HIGH percentage of ghosting or last minute cancels...
And in all honesty, she's not going to want to do anything in a park... so expect a love hotel if it gets that far. You'll know pretty quickly if that's what she's up for, or not.

 

[Telf]

I´m far from an expert on dating in Japan, but I´d imagine that a girl is a lot more open to a love hotel if she´s «in the mood». It´s a known quantity; itˋs clean, private, short term, and «neutral territory». None of these things are guaranteed if she goes home with someone.

I´d just ask her «do you want to go somewhere private» at the end of the dinner/wherever you take her or when you´re walking her to the train station.

Edit: Almost forgot: Kissing in public, even if secluded, may be enough to make her run for the hills. Japanese people are really not comfortable with PDA.

 

[Cinnabums]

TY Harbour Brewery on Tennouzu Isle might be good to create that feeling walking back by the water to Station, if getting horny grab a cab to hotel.

T.Y. HARBOR
03-5479-4555
https://maps.app.goo.gl/S8mQSXGKQhsJZG1J6

 

[RogMeer]

I´m far from an expert on dating in Japan, but I´d imagine that a girl is a lot more open to a love hotel if she´s «in the mood». It´s a known quantity; itˋs clean, private, short term, and «neutral territory». None of these things are guaranteed if she goes home with someone.

I´d just ask her «do you want to go somewhere private» at the end of the dinner/wherever you take her or when you´re walking her to the train station.

Edit: Almost forgot: Kissing in public, even if secluded, may be enough to make her run for the hills. Japanese people are really not comfortable with PDA.

How often has this worked for you?

 

[RogMeer]

This is a bad idea. I'm only saying this because, nothing is really good there anymore. I'm surprised they are still in business.

I think your first obstacle is getting her to show up. Many guys get contact information and a promise of a date, but there's HIGH percentage of ghosting or last minute cancels...
And in all honesty, she's not going to want to do anything in a park... so expect a love hotel if it gets that far. You'll know pretty quickly if that's what she's up for, or not.

Agreed. The food is shit, dunno about the drinks. But it isn't really about either of those is it? I'm going out near Ueno station and I'm just looking for a laid-back foreign ambience that gives me a 'home advantage' as opposed to some Japanese bars - other suggestions are welcome.

 

[YokoMonger]

My biggest hurdle is just finding a place where I can physically escalate without much time for last minute resistance on her side.

One trick is get a hotel room ahead of time preferably near the date. Personally when I was doing PUA (not very well at that), I picked dinner at a quiet and not smokey place so it's more about talking and escalating light physical contact. After that is move to karaoke box for a couple of hours (or more) but don't pick seedy smoke stained ones. Karaoke boxes are perfect for you both to escalate as you can set the mood with your song choices. If glass door seems a bit too visible from the outside, try to hang a jacket or something across it to obstruct the view.

If you're looking for an excuse to get her to visit your hotel room, one trick could be say you need to pick up something for your room at a conbini then buy a two liter water so it's obvious you can't carry it then mention your place is nearby so you can drop it off real quick.

By the way, the idea behind all these is to make it easier for the date to give into the moment without worry about being seen as easy by strangers or even you. Suggesting a love hotel is just saying "you seem like a slut, let's fuck" while dinner, karaoke, or a quick trip to your hotel that became passionate is just fate and not perversion on her part.

 

[Fumisancho79]

Given how this date came about I’d say there’s a 50%+ chance she’ll ghost and a 80%+ chance to sleep with her if she shows up, regardless of hotel/love hotel choice.

One idea is to meet up at a HUB for a casual beer - it has a foreigner vibe, usually busy but not overly crowded, very laid back, should put her at ease while reinforcing that she’s on a date with a foreigner. Then location change to karaoke to escalate, then seal the deal at love hotel or whatever.

Location change is crucial - don’t expect to take her to a restaurant and then for her to go to a hotel. Much higher chance if you switch location at least once.

 

[MikeH]

Have to agree with @TAG Manager about the quality of TGI Fridays. I had to go back to another location just to make sure it was as bad as at the first eating. It was.

But @YokoMonger is right; the first rule of the Love Hotel is you do not talk about the Love Hotel. When the Time is Right (tm) you will walk her, hand in hand like the perfect gentleman you are, towards one and then you casually suggest to take a short rest because you feel tired.

 

[Telf]

How often has this worked for you?

In Japan I´m two for two (I´m an occational tourist). But then again I´m the oblivious nerd, so they´ve been bashing me over the head with clue-by-4 for at least half an hour by the time I ask… 😅

If I had more guts I´d probably get rejected more often, but as long as you gracefully accept a no then it´s mainly a numbers game. At the end of the evening if you´d like to spend more time with her then go for it. If you crash and burn it´s not like you´re gonna run into her again. And it doesn´t seem like you´re after a relationship, so extending it past a single date seems… unwise.

But YokoMonger and Fumisancho79 have some good points about location changes and how to slowly and «accidentally» change to a more private venue. Good luck. 🙂

 

[newbie]

Just walk by a love hotel, pretend you've never been in one and act intrigued, then suggest you guys check it out or just walk in with her. If she wants to go she'll follow.

Also, I'm pretty sure this girl knows you're foreign, you don't need shitty food and overpriced drinks to reinforce that, lol.

 

[Combat]

Internet cafes (the ones with completely private rooms) are the most underrated pull locations in Japan.

I would rank spots as following, from generally best to worst:
1. Your private house/apartment/hotel
2. Internet cafe
3. Love hotel
4. Karaoke (be careful of camera)
5. Public or semi-public place like a bathroom etc.

Love hotels are ideal if you can't go to your house, but in many cases they will set off immediate alarm bells in the girls head if she's not comfortable enough with you. Internet cafes provide much more deniability and these days there are a lot of nice, completely private ones out there.

 

[MikeH]

Internet cafes (the ones with completely private rooms) are the most underrated pull locations in Japan.

Tell me you are young without telling me you are young.

If I tried to take any of my ladies to an internet cafe not only I would not get another date ever but my dick would be so disappointed it would not cooperate.

 

[Danbo]

Internet cafes (the ones with completely private rooms) are the most underrated pull locations in Japan.

I would rank spots as following, from generally best to worst:
1. Your private house/apartment/hotel
2. Internet cafe
3. Love hotel
4. Karaoke (be careful of camera)
5. Public or semi-public place like a bathroom etc.

Love hotels are ideal if you can't go to your house, but in many cases they will set off immediate alarm bells in the girls head if she's not comfortable enough with you. Internet cafes provide much more deniability and these days there are a lot of nice, completely private ones out there.

Isn't an Internet cafe ringing alarm bells as well? I mean you could still go to a karaoke place to have harmless fun...but nobody goes to an internet cafe to hang out.

From a female perspective i would see that as the worst cheap ass suggestion possible 😅

 

[Combat]

Isn't an Internet cafe ringing alarm bells as well? I mean you could still go to a karaoke place to have harmless fun...but nobody goes to an internet cafe to hang out.

From a female perspective i would see that as the worst cheap ass suggestion possible 😅

I mean it can, sure. But it rings a lot less than a love hotel (in my experience at least). Karaoke is risky because of camera and someone seeing through the glass but different strokes for different folks.

 

[Fumisancho79]

I mean it can, sure. But it rings a lot less than a love hotel (in my experience at least). Karaoke is risky because of camera and someone seeing through the glass but different strokes for different folks.

Don't you just go to karaoke to escalate physical contact (kissing, light roaming, etc) and then take her to a hotel? I haven't considered actually having sex in a karaoke booth since I was 20yo

 

[Killie154]

Personally Karaoke has worked for me.
In my experience, it is both of you singing songs that everyone knows, and you are both tired and impressed that you know all of the words to the songs.
Both of you drink too much and then bam.

 

[Killie154]

I mean it can, sure. But it rings a lot less than a love hotel (in my experience at least). Karaoke is risky because of camera and someone seeing through the glass but different strokes for different folks.

Honestly, if I was the person on the other side of the camera, I would be like "you don't pay me enough to stop these two from getting it on".

 

[YokoMonger]

Honestly, if I was the person on the other side of the camera, I would be like "you don't pay me enough to stop these two from getting it on".

Anyone know what the various karaoke staff do when they notice something like this? Assuming everything else is on the up and up. Had staff walk in on a lady giving me head and he just quietly walked back out but that was a dive box in Roppongi.

 

[Fumisancho79]

Had staff walk in on a lady giving me head

Chad.

 

[Keihan]

Tell me you are young without telling me you are young.

If I tried to take any of my ladies to an internet cafe not only I would not get another date ever but my dick would be so disappointed it would not cooperate.

The few times I decided to pull 24hr drinking binges and ended up blacked-out and passed-out on the train at the final stop at 1am, I was forced to sleep in an internet cafe booth. Every time, the booths around me were occupied by teen couples getting their awkward fuck on. I had half a mind to peek over the top of the partition or just kick back in the recliner and rub one out to the grunts and moans, but if I was actually in an internet cafe I was most likely drunk, exhausted and desperately tired.

Reading threads like this is emotionally exhausting. Sometimes I wish I was in my 20s again, and then I come here and I'm glad I'm an old man.

 

[Killie154]

Isn't an Internet cafe ringing alarm bells as well? I mean you could still go to a karaoke place to have harmless fun...but nobody goes to an internet cafe to hang out.

From a female perspective i would see that as the worst cheap ass suggestion possible 😅

From personal experience, Internet Cafe (theatre room) isssssss more than enough.

We went on a study date and it ended really well to say the least.

 

[hrbb]

Anyone know what the various karaoke staff do when they notice something like this? Assuming everything else is on the up and up. Had staff walk in on a lady giving me head and he just quietly walked back out but that was a dive box in Roppongi.

Look for a new job? They already have to clean up vomit, piss, feces and microphones that smell like ass.

 

[Ivanhoe]

Hope you are getting ready for your date..

Please Be a gentleman ,be open and above all be patient..Please don’t count the chickens before the eggs are hatched..

Take her to an excellent restaurant and have good food.During the table conversation ask her if she is interested in a private time..

She may reject (chances are very less because she also knows that you both are meeting not only for food)
or she may tell that today is not the day ( chances are high).Please don’t force her or persuade her.
Or she may agree ( quite possible) in which case I presume you know how to handle..
Good Luck..👍

 

[Alice]

"you don't pay me enough to stop these two from getting it on".

Free porn.

Tell me you are young without telling me you are young.

If I tried to take any of my ladies to an internet cafe not only I would not get another date ever but my dick would be so disappointed it would not cooperate.

Apparently I’m old.