First Timer And Can't Decide

[aerialize]

Hi Tag,

I have a question that bothering my mind for a while. Is it really good idea to give out the first time to escort?
is not that i think escort is bad or anything, on contrary i think escort is wonderful.

on one hand if I get good guidance from the experienced escort she can jump start me for the next experience with my future partner. on the other hand my old tradition brain told me that this thing called virginity should be kept special.

I know the common answer will be just like, follow your heart and all that kind of stuff. but i would like to know what TAG think about this?

if you think it's good idea, i will appreciate a lovely PM of recommendations.

ps: if my age info help your reply, im late 20's

 

[e-smile]

I didn't know there were boys thinking this way.
why would the 1st time have to be more important than the second or the 357th one ?

 

[Wwanderer]

why would the 1st time have to be more important than the second or the 357th one ?

Actually early sexual experiences are known (or at least "widely believed" by psychologists) to be very powerful in setting sexual feelings, desires, tastes etc for a lifetime. For example, most fetishes develop from unusual initial sexual experiences. Basically, sexual impulses and emotions originate in parts of the lower and mid brain which are particularly suseptible to "patterning" types of learning.

-Ww

 

[e-smile]

Actually early sexual experiences are known (or at least "widely believed" by psychologists) to be very powerful in setting sexual feelings, desires, tastes etc for a lifetime. For example, most fetishes develop from unusual initial sexual experiences. Basically, sexual impulses and emotions originate in parts of the lower and mid brain which are particularly suseptible to "patterning" types of learning.

-Ww

then he should definitely not have sex with a child for his first time.

 

[Wwanderer]

then he should definitely not have sex with a child for his first time.

I agree, but who said anything about his partner's age? Is that from a different thead?

-Ww

 

[e-smile]

I agree, but who said anything about his partner's age? Is that from a different thead?

-Ww

it was to say that an escort is still supposed to be a girl like any other one and that I don't think it's relevant to refer to what you said about the psychologists belief about the future consequences on his tastes.
I'd advise him not to make a big deal about it.

 

[Wwanderer]

it was to say that an escort is still supposed to be a girl like any other one and that I don't think it's relevant to refer to what you said about the psychologists belief about the future consequences on his tastes.
I'd advise him not to make a big deal about it.

I agree with that too. If he simply thinks of his p4p partner as a woman like any other, then I see no problem, and that is certainly the best/right way to think of them imo. It is what I do. However if, like many men, @aerialize has escorts and/or sex for money in some special category, perhaps a negative one, in his mind, then p4p might not be a good way to start. The very fact that the OP asks the question in the first place suggests that he might not see p4p sex and np4p sex as being in the same category for himself.

Btw, my answer to the poll is "personal choice", so I am not arguing against it, just saying that the first time(s) can have special significance.

-Ww

 

[e-smile]

I agree with that too. If he simply thinks of his p4p partner as a woman like any other, then I see no problem, and that is certainly the best/right way to think of them imo. It is what I do. However if, like many men, @aerialize has escorts and/or sex for money in some special category, perhaps a negative one, in his mind, then p4p might not be a good way to start. The very fact that the OP asks the question in the first place suggests that he might not see p4p sex and np4p sex as being in the same category for himself.

Btw, my answer to the poll is "personal choice", so I am not arguing against it, just saying that the first time(s) can have special significance.

-Ww

I think he's thinking too much since he waited that long. and my point is a 1st time is not supposed to be ideal, the best times come later with experience and self confidence so whether his first experience is good or bad he should't care too much the next ones will surely be better.

 

[Wwanderer]

I think he's thinking too much since he waited that long. and my point is a 1st time is not supposed to be ideal, the best times come later with experience and self confidence so whether his first experience is good or bad he should't care too much the next ones will surely be better.

I also pretty much agree with that. My only point was in reply to this comment of yours:

why would the 1st time have to be more important than the second or the 357th one ?

which you have now explained more clearly.

And while I agree that the first time need not be ideal, almost never is in fact, it is important. If nothing else, one nearly always recalls it for the rest of one's life. Not so much the 357th one in most cases.

-Ww

 

[e-smile]

I also pretty much agree with that. My only point was in reply to this comment of yours:



which you have now explained more clearly.

And while I agree that the first time need not be ideal, almost never is in fact, it is important. If nothing else, one nearly always recalls it for the rest of one's life. Not so much the 357th one in most cases.

-Ww

I recall the first time with every girl actually so the 1st time with one isn't more memorable than the 1st time with another

 

[aerialize]

I agree with that too. If he simply thinks of his p4p partner as a woman like any other, then I see no problem, and that is certainly the best/right way to think of them imo. It is what I do. However if, like many men, @aerialize has escorts and/or sex for money in some special category, perhaps a negative one, in his mind, then p4p might not be a good way to start. The very fact that the OP asks the question in the first place suggests that he might not see p4p sex and np4p sex as being in the same category for himself.

Btw, my answer to the poll is "personal choice", so I am not arguing against it, just saying that the first time(s) can have special significance.

-Ww

Thanks for the quick reply, @Wwanderer I always treat or think that p4p partner is just like any other woman no derogatory sense what so ever. Not so much into that special category so cant really connect to that sense, but i assume i'm not into that way. i think what you said is basically what Sigmund Freud stuff, and it develop way before you mature up. something happened in childhood and that stuck with you without you noticing it. they use fetishes like high heels or glasses in my class as the outcome of childhood memories.

I think right now you really read my mind, i kinda feel that way about it. 1st one kinda stuck with you either its bad or good. the memory of it have bigger impact rather than the experience.

@e-smile Thanks for the reply yea i know i think too much for most stuff not just this stuff, but thats just who i am. sometimes i wish i can just dive into the pool without thinking the pro and con.

 

[Wwanderer]

I recall the first time with every girl actually so the 1st time with one isn't more memorable than the 1st time with another

Tbh I don't even recall each of my partners I am sorry to say.

-Ww

 

[User#8628]

Actually early sexual experiences are known (or at least "widely believed" by psychologists) to be very powerful in setting sexual feelings, desires, tastes etc for a lifetime. For example, most fetishes develop from unusual initial sexual experiences. Basically, sexual impulses and emotions originate in parts of the lower and mid brain which are particularly suseptible to "patterning" types of learning.

-Ww

But in this case i don't think "sexual experience" has to be actually losing virginity. Like, a fetish for spanking can be developped because someone got spanked in their youth but that's not when they lost their virginity.

To answer OP's question:
Personally i think it's not a bad idea to lose it to an escort. The first time can be often disappointing and awkward and it really helps to have someone who knows what they are doing to get you through it.
I don't really understand why the first time would be very special. The first person i did it with was a boyfriend and i liked him but he means nothing to me now (i even think the bad sex was part of why our relationship failed soon afterwards, but i think it also wouldn't have lasted forever if it wouldn't havr been bad), but if i could do it over i wouldn't! I wouldn't want to go through the discomfort of doing it for the first time again, no matter with who.
For boys it might not be painful but still, they can finish too early or not a able to finish at all, don't know how to do positions... I don't wanna scare you but the first time isn't always easy and a professional might be a better choice than a girlfriend who you want to make a good impression on. The good news is: it gets better and better and more and more enjoyable!

I advice that if you go down the professional route, you read some reviews of virgins and first timers on this forum, you would certainly not be the first one!

 

[e-smile]

But in this case i don't think "sexual experience" has to be actually losing virginity. Like, a fetish for spanking can be developped because someone got spanked in their youth but that's not when they lost their virginity.

To answer OP's question:
Personally i think it's not a bad idea to lose it to an escort. The first time can be often disappointing and awkward and it really helps to have someone who knows what they are doing to get you through it.
I don't really understand why the first time would be very special. The first person i did it with was a boyfriend and i liked him but he means nothing to me now (i even think the bad sex was part of why our relationship failed soon afterwards, but i think it also wouldn't have lasted forever if it wouldn't havr been bad), but if i could do it over i wouldn't! I wouldn't want to go through the discomfort of doing it for the first time again, no matter with who.
For boys it might not be painful but still, they can finish too early or not a able to finish at all, don't know how to do positions... I don't wanna scare you but the first time isn't always easy and a professional might be a better choice than a girlfriend who you want to make a good impression on. The good news is: it gets better and better and more and more enjoyable!

I advice that if you go down the professional route, you read some reviews of virgins and first timers on this forum, you would certainly not be the first one!

I'd love to lose my virginity to you if I was still a virgin

 

[Verbal]

It worked for Oliver Stone, and look how he turned out... 8 academy award nominations, and 3 wins; as well as the French Legion d'Honeur.

 

[Mwktm]

I went down route of voting that it's one's personal choice.

Strictly in my personal view this question is as easy to answer as it is difficult. Few things that may drive your thought process:
- cultural - has this played any role in you waiting till your late 20s or is this due to circumstance (not finding a suitable companion etc.)
- how much do you value the experience - is this a milestone or you or do you expect to move on
- are you in a relationship

Either way wish you the best and hope you end up making the right decision for you

 

[Jack Hammer]

I suppose it depends on how much you value your first experience to be. If you want a moment that is more than physical, i would suggest finding a girlfriend. If you just want to get the experience and lose your virginity asap, then escorts can provide that. For me i just wanted to get rid of my virginity, so i chose the first girl who would sleep with me. It all comes down to what you want.

 

[aerialize]

I went down route of voting that it's one's personal choice.

Strictly in my personal view this question is as easy to answer as it is difficult. Few things that may drive your thought process:
- cultural - has this played any role in you waiting till your late 20s or is this due to circumstance (not finding a suitable companion etc.)
- how much do you value the experience - is this a milestone or you or do you expect to move on
- are you in a relationship

Either way wish you the best and hope you end up making the right decision for you

Maybe is not a question but i answer anyway....
Cultural play quite a role, since asian culture make a fuss about it. but I think I'm far away from that cultural barrier now.
As for experience i do think its important but after reading all those awesome comments by TAG members;
I think the experience between p4p and do it with your partner is totally different. (correct me if i'm wrong )
Although the idea of first is in the same box.

move on might be the best way to put it, a milestone feels like a sense of achievement and i don't think losing virginity is an achievement.
single and ready to mingle

Thanks for the wishes, i hope so too @Mwktm

But in this case i don't think "sexual experience" has to be actually losing virginity. Like, a fetish for spanking can be developped because someone got spanked in their youth but that's not when they lost their virginity.

To answer OP's question:
Personally i think it's not a bad idea to lose it to an escort. The first time can be often disappointing and awkward and it really helps to have someone who knows what they are doing to get you through it.
I don't really understand why the first time would be very special. The first person i did it with was a boyfriend and i liked him but he means nothing to me now (i even think the bad sex was part of why our relationship failed soon afterwards, but i think it also wouldn't have lasted forever if it wouldn't havr been bad), but if i could do it over i wouldn't! I wouldn't want to go through the discomfort of doing it for the first time again, no matter with who.
For boys it might not be painful but still, they can finish too early or not a able to finish at all, don't know how to do positions... I don't wanna scare you but the first time isn't always easy and a professional might be a better choice than a girlfriend who you want to make a good impression on. The good news is: it gets better and better and more and more enjoyable!

I advice that if you go down the professional route, you read some reviews of virgins and first timers on this forum, you would certainly not be the first one!

Thanks @User#8628 for giving a perspective from a woman side of the story. Yea the idea of not making a good impression on girlfriend can be daunting, although she might not has any idea too,
blame the man ego that want to show we know all the stuff.

If the professional can somehow guide me play by play that will be fun experience, since she must have experienced with all sort of situations and she know the best how to pleasure both man and woman.

I suppose it depends on how much you value your first experience to be. If you want a moment that is more than physical, i would suggest finding a girlfriend. If you just want to get the experience and lose your virginity asap, then escorts can provide that. For me i just wanted to get rid of my virginity, so i chose the first girl who would sleep with me. It all comes down to what you want.

I like this, short condensed and clear. Thanks i will take in consideration.

 

[TheWhiteBear]

I find this very inspirational

 

[Merritt]

Actually early sexual experiences are known (or at least "widely believed" by psychologists) to be very powerful in setting sexual feelings, desires, tastes etc for a lifetime. For example, most fetishes develop from unusual initial sexual experiences. Basically, sexual impulses and emotions originate in parts of the lower and mid brain which are particularly suseptible to "patterning" types of learning.

-Ww

Huh, I think I read this somewhere too. First girlfriend I had would only give BJ's, no sex, which might be why now getting a good BJ is my favorite thing (not to say I'd ever turn down sex that is )