For the women here (about shape)

[statrosa]

Two days ago went to a new swingers club in my home country together with SO.
It was pretty nice.
Yesterday went again, but it was male introductory night (you pay extra).
Got to the door with Japanese colleague And I get this "you are no longer welcome here".

So, two days ago my SO did not do anything (so she did not perform), guess why:
because she was offended that I spend time ( the whole night) with a largely boned women (my SO is skin and bones).
Yes she was large (which I like), but she was also very funny,

So I guess she felt threatened. We are together for more then 12 years, so this felt strange.
I tried talking to my SO but she keeps making sarcastic jokes.


Wanted to ask the girls or the guys in touch with their feminine side here in relationship their opinion?
Are funny people dangerous for a relationship?


p.s. I just had fun, will probably not see the women again ever

 

[Desktop]

Did she get you blacklisted?

 

[statrosa]

Did she get you blacklisted?

Yeah.

Small update: Yesterday night we talked, it seems she was just jealous and took it out on the people there. Unfortunate for me, the club was very accessible, but a small price compared to my life.

 

[User#8628]

The whole point of being swingers is to not get jealous, or at least to keep the jealousy to a spicy, fun level.

I can indeed imagine that she thought that maybe she lacks something you are into. Its quite easy to make people feel insecure...

 

[SummersLastBreath]

I think it's less about the physical side of things, since skinny people tend to like being thin. We are the more 'mainstream' ideal after all. If someone prefers larger women, it's their tastes that deviate. So I don't think there's a threat there. You've been together for so long, I'm sure she knows your physical preferences by now. If it were a problem, it would have surfaced much earlier.

If it were me, the real issue would lie in the fact that you spent the whole night with another woman. Sure, that was the action plan after all considering the venue, but at the very least you should have checked on your SO every now and then. Just to see if she was fine and having fun or maybe to take a quick break together and share your latest sexual exploits with each other.

I don't know the dynamics of your open relationship, but perhaps she feels similarly as I do. Having sex with other girls is acceptable, since it's merely a physical thing. A date on the other hand is totally off limits. I know it wasn't a date and you weren't planning on seeing her again, but you were enjoying her personality (NG!).

So hypothetically speaking, not only did you make her feel neglected the whole evening, but you probably tried to explain that by telling her that your companion was just really fun to talk to. The fact that your funny friend was largely boned was considered another slight, because slim girls tend to think they're more attractive than their larger counterparts.

Or maybe I'm just overthinking it. But you did ask for a girl's point of view after all and we tend to be irrational from your perspective.

 

[statrosa]

Thank you Alice and Summer for your great reply.

 

[Jennifer Maddingly]

If a woman who loves you sees another woman making you smile she thinks you’re interested and she will lose you.

How she looks doesn’t matter.

But if she’s ugly/fat it’s like a low blow.