Friends with Benefits

Snuggles

Snuggles

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How do you find a friend with benefits in Tokyo?

I explained what I liked to an escort once, and she recommended I hang out in some of the bars in Ebisu. She said I could meet a lady in her 40s there and perhaps find a friend with benefits. I may try this out.

Any other ideas?

I`m married. I don`t want anyone showing up at my door. I would tell her that I am married.

Would love to hear your success stories, and advice on this? Are there any useful websites for this?
 
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There's a few ways but it depends on so many things.

Hanging out in bars in Ebisu, Shinjuku, Shibuya, Roppongi, etc. will help. Definitely. Unfortunately, from my experience, every girl I've ended up hooking up with wanted to date me. It's a bit tough. If you tell them up front there's nothing long term, most of them will walk away immediately. After all, it sounds questionable and almost dangerous. If you don't make it clear then there's no real way to continue it without her finding out you're married since you don't want a relationship with her.

Are you willing to approach girls/women randomly at bars? How good is your Japanese? If your answer is yes then it will be much easier of course.

In terms of websites, I had some luck with Tinder when I was single. You can even set the age. You can tell them you're married but that will throw off most of them. Most women don't want to get involved with a married man for obvious reasons.
 
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Tinder became one of the reasons that I keep my facebook account. :)
(I'm single)

As Alexlraud suggested, Tinder may cause you troubles because it will show your facebook friends/ age/ real name...
If you wish to keep your affairs secret, stay offline.
Good luck, Snuggles. Be safe.
 
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same.. My SFs were actually looking for BFs even though they said they weren't

just make sure that both your words AND your actions / behavior leave them in no doubt as to what it is and what it isn't
 
also.. Don't they normally evolve out of ONS? Just go out, find a wingman hit the bars and have fun
 
User#8628 said:
I think the best aim is to look for women who are married as well because there is less chance (but still not zero!) that they will get serious with you.
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:cry:

it's just sex.. Why break up families?
 
owlet said:
it's just sex.. Why break up families?
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If you are so good a catch that married ladies will leave their families to follow you to the end of the world then yes, please don't get involved with them.

I have way less confidence on my attractiveness but thanks for that I have managed to have many many great encounters and even long continued relationships with married girls.

Several of them have stated they are happier at home in sexless marriage when they have someone on the side.

And contrary to your question a friend with benefits is to me first a friend and most definitely not just sex.
 
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MikeH said:
And contrary to your question a friend with benefits is to me first a friend and most definitely not just sex.
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User#8628 said:
This has always been a requirement for me in the few cases i had FWB and it definitely slims the selection.
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This. I think it's important for you to define if your really looking for a FWB, or what for lack of a better term to differentiate it, a fuck buddy. I'm not judging either way and both can be great. But I think an FWB should be someone you enjoy hanging out with and doing friend things even without the sex. The sex is just, well a benefit, you both get horny and it's good to have someone you get along great with and have fun to take care of that problem with.

A fuck buddy would be someone you purely meet for sex. It's just about getting together and getting off. You don't hang out before or after, she isn't going to show up unannounced and vice versa. I get the feeling this is what your after more than an FWB.

I can't speak for availability of either one in Japan but I think it always helps if you can be very clear for what your looking for and I hope this post can help with that.
 
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you and Alice are talking about "targeting" married people

If you want a "friend".. How is fucking with their marriage being a good friend?

if you want sex, go meet someone and have a ONS, go have lots of them

if I had a friend who is unhappy in their marriage, I would try to help them realise that they have a choice.. I wouldn't seduce them and enable them to cheat

sex is just sex.. Why is it so important to you? (strange place to message this i guess hehe)
TLDR: plenty of single folks out there to fuck
 
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Just meet women as you do normally and take them to love hotels. Never tell them where you live or work. It becomes a friends with benefit situation by default.
 
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I'm not "targeting" married girls. Rather just going out to meet someone. It just happens that most of those ONSs who become FWBs happen to be married girls.

That might be because if it becomes a subject I'll soon let them know I'm not looking for a girlfriend so the single ones usually stop seeing me at some point.

I'm not going to start discriminating who gets into a hotel with me based on marital status. But I also don't understand how "just sex" as you put it would mess with someone's marriage.
 
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owlet said:
you and Alice are talking about "targeting" married people

If you want a "friend".. How is fucking with their marriage being a good friend?

if you want sex, go meet someone and have a ONS, go have lots of them

if I had a friend who is unhappy in their marriage, I would try to help them realise that they have a choice.. I wouldn't seduce them and enable them to cheat

sex is just sex.. Why is it so important to you? (strange place to message this i guess hehe)
TLDR: plenty of single folks out there to fuck
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Wtf, i am not talking about seducing someone to cheat! I am talking about the married women who actively look for friends with benefits because they want more than they get at home.

You dont blame Snuggles for actively looking while HE is married, so why would it be wrong for a married woman to look for a bit extra with no strings attached.
 
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User#8628 said:
Wtf, i am not talking about seducing someone to cheat! I am talking about the married women who actively look for friends with benefits because they want more than they get at home.

You dont blame Snuggles for actively looking while HE is married, so why would it be wrong for a married woman to look for a bit extra with no strings attached.
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yes i do, I blame anyone married who fucks outside their marriage (without their partners consent)

if your marriage is so unhappy that you have to go and cheat - just grow some balls and end it already
 
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owlet said:
if your marriage is so unhappy that you have to go and cheat - just grow some balls and end it already
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I am confused. First it was "just sex" for you, but now that sex is the most important thing in life and a marriage. Why should people who like each other, have kids, house, cat and all of their life together divorce only because the husband doesn't want to have sex anymore?

And should I check if they are married before heading to the hotel? What if they lie, should I ask for the family register or do I need to hire a private detective to find out before having sex?

But to be fair, if any of those girls would grow some balls I would stop sleeping with them for sure!
 
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owlet said:
yes i do, I blame anyone married who fucks outside their marriage (without their partners consent)

if your marriage is so unhappy that you have to go and cheat - just grow some balls and end it already
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I've never been in a marriage. But I think:

-its not anybody's responsibility to protect the sanctity of marriage except the two people who are on it.
-some marriages are better off with cheating on the side and that doesn't necessarily mean the marriage is a failure. There are many other aspects of marriage, and in many cases it can evolve to be more practical than romantic

Who knows, if I get married I might end up revising those positions but that's how I see it now
 
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MikeH said:
And should I check if they are married before heading to the hotel? What if they lie, should I ask for the family register or do I need to hire a private detective to find out before having sex?
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Yeah! Now that would certainly add some extra spice to the relationships!
(Also a certificate of virginity, just in case) :)
 
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Frenchy said:
(Also a certificate of virginity, just in case) :)
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Though in a case of a virgin I would suddenly remember I left the gas on and head home. :LOL:
 
Craiglist Tokyo is a safe place to find a playmate!

Noone suggested this, yet?

I used to play around, finding my photogrphers for modelling, expats for Japanese teaching, with an extra adult entertainment, casual encounters, used to be my great marketing field!

Women there, maybe majority of them are looking for compensated p4p, but not all of them. If you're lucky, you may be able to meet one is available for FWB! it's a fun website. Unlike US, where there are too criminal crappy imaged web.

Good luck!!!
 
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owlet said:
yes i do, I blame anyone married who fucks outside their marriage (without their partners consent)

if your marriage is so unhappy that you have to go and cheat - just grow some balls and end it already
Click to expand...

Can you talk to my wife then? She won't have sex with me more than a few times per year, but I'm supposed to just accept it or divorce? No other options?
 
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