Gifts .. When, how and why ?

tad3239

tad3239

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I have been reading about gifts on this forum and had some good pointers . And here are some thoughts I'd like to share:

1- It's very evident that escorts like gifts but the point is when to give them : on the first meeting , after being a regular client .. and if you are a regular client , are you expected to get gifts every time or only on special occasions ?.

2- Is it better to be gradual about it ? going up in the value of the gift as you become more acquainted with the lady or to mark the special occasions with the really valuable gifts and on the other dates you just bring a sweet little thing ?

3- I always had the idea in mind that the way you express your appreciation is not by saying sweet words but by booking again : going from short into long and more colourful encounters . Does giving gifts has any effect at all in the end in our favor ? . I think that if she is a good at what she does , her level of performance shouldn't really be affected by the presence or absence of gifts .

Would like to hear your opinions.
 
Gift is of course appreciated but never expected.

Good clients that I have good dates with are good clients no matter they bring a gift or not.
It is a fact that they book me and spend their hard earn money on me itself is a great gift.

In other words, bad clients that do not respect me and/or my time are bad clients no matter if they offer gifts or not.

P4p is yet that two people (or more sometimes) try to share a great time together.
Chemistry is the most important after all, not gift or how many times you book them = how much money you spend on them.
 
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Gifts are a bad idea. The motivation for giving and receiving them in a P4P situation are psychologically suspect. Well ok, maybe if you happen to have just come from someplace and you bought a bunch of refrigerator magnets or something to give to friends or whatever, then I have no problem with that. But chocolates or perfume or something that you would give a girlfriend is blatantly an attempt to make a P4P relationship look like a mutual affection relationship. Ok. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! But you have to ask yourself why you are doing it. Why! You punk! If you have no problem with P4P, why are you trying to make it look like something different? Is it because you are not comfortable with the fact that you are paying for sex? Is it a moral problem? Do you need to pretend that she is not there for the money, that she is your gf and she actually likes you? Is it an attempt to protect your fragile ego? Whatever. Just think about why you do things. Live an examined life. The Buta never gives gifts. He knows that the first P in P4P is the operative one; escorts would almost always rather have the ¥ spent on the gift than the gift itself. That is, unless the escort is also trying to mask something, which very well could be the case. At any rate, people should be comfortable with what they do, or they shouldn’t do it. If they need to pretend, then they obviously aren’t fully enjoying themselves. Thus spake ZaraButa.
 
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I hear you Buta... but sometimes gifts are worth giving... :D:)


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tad3239 said:
1- It's very evident that escorts like gifts but the point is when to give them : on the first meeting , after being a regular client .. and if you are a regular client , are you expected to get gifts every time or only on special occasions ?.
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I usually don’t give anything on the first meeting. I find it odd to give a gift to a total stranger I’ve never met before. The exception for me is if I don’t feel they are a total stranger, for example having interacted with or read their postings on the forum, then I might give some omiyage type of gift from where I’m from.

If I repeat on someone I didn’t give anything on first meet, then maybe I may bring something on a second meet, but again, just omiyage level goods. But the meaning behind the gift is nothing more than omiyage level meaning.

If I repeat multiple multiple times in one trip (not common), then I’ll definitely give something on our last meetup rather than throughout, basically as a thanks for taking care of me type of gesture... お世話になりました type of meaning.

tad3239 said:
2- Is it better to be gradual about it ? going up in the value of the gift as you become more acquainted with the lady or to mark the special occasions with the really valuable gifts and on the other dates you just bring a sweet little thing ?
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That sounds more like what I would do with a new friend or girlfriend. I don’t think I would go beyond omiyage level items unless the p4p has started to go beyond client/provider for both of us.
 
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My advice is to stop over thinking it! If you want to give because it’s coming from a genuine place and it makes you feel good, then do so. If you are doing it out of guilt, obligations, expectations, in hope of a favorable rapport or outcome or any other meaning you are placing behind the gesture of your gift giving, I would advise against it.

When I give gifts, it’s truly coming from a place of gratitude. I often give gifts in the form of tips. I’ve even given tips to ladies whom my husband and myself will most likely not see again purely out of appreciation for our time together.
 
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Troilist said:
My advice is to stop over thinking it! If you want to give because it’s coming from a genuine place and it makes you feel good, then do so. If you are doing it out of guilt, obligations, expectations, in hope of a favorable rapport or outcome or any other meaning you are placing behind the gesture of your gift giving, I would advise against it.

When I give gifts, it’s truly coming from a place of gratitude. I often give gifts in the form of tips. I’ve even given tips to ladies whom my husband and myself will most likely not see again purely out of appreciation for our time together.
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Great advice (wish I had followed it many times). On a side note I’m pretty sure I went to the onsen on your profile pic . Loved it!
 
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Troilist said:
My advice is to stop over thinking it! If you want to give because it’s coming from a genuine place and it makes you feel good, then do so. If you are doing it out of guilt, obligations, expectations, in hope of a favorable rapport or outcome or any other meaning you are placing behind the gesture of your gift giving, I would advise against it.

When I give gifts, it’s truly coming from a place of gratitude. I often give gifts in the form of tips. I’ve even given tips to ladies whom my husband and myself will most likely not see again purely out of appreciation for our time together.
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Yup. Purely out of appreciation for our time together. Nothing more, nothing less.

I’m always grateful when I meet a nice friendly lady, like the look of her and hope the look of this old fellow didn't make her physically sick.
 
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Majestyk said:
Yup. Purely out of appreciation for our time together. Nothing more, nothing less.

I’m always grateful when I meet a nice friendly lady, like the look of her and hope the look of this old fellow didn't make her physically sick.
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Thats what you pay for already. A gift should be for some kind of extra appreciation, whatever it is and however you quantity it.
Now comes the tricky part: what to do when it’s requested and you think refusing to buy it would make you look unappreciative or stingy? Kinda reverse the perspective...
 
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Troilist said:
My advice is to stop over thinking it! If you want to give because it’s coming from a genuine place and it makes you feel good, then do so. If you are doing it out of guilt, obligations, expectations, in hope of a favorable rapport or outcome or any other meaning you are placing behind the gesture of your gift giving, I would advise against it.

When I give gifts, it’s truly coming from a place of gratitude. I often give gifts in the form of tips. I’ve even given tips to ladies whom my husband and myself will most likely not see again purely out of appreciation for our time together.
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+1

I have been with a number of ladies . But only one made me feel like offering her a gift.
 
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Frenchy said:
Now comes the tricky part: what to do when it’s requested and you think refusing to buy it would make you look unappreciative or stingy? Kinda reverse the perspective...
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If it's requested then it's not a gift anymore but a part of the price she is asking. If you think the combined price is too much then pass and move on. If you think it's reasonable then pay the price and forget about it.
 
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MikeH said:
If it's requested then it's not a gift anymore but a part of the price she is asking. If you think the combined price is too much then pass and move on. If you think it's reasonable then pay the price and forget about it.
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You’re so fucking right I hate you now :)
 
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I don't usually do gifts because I'd prefer to put that money towards more time/options in the session (assuming it's a substantially expensive gift). More money for her and more stuff for me so a win-win in my book. Small gifts like chocolates or souvenirs from a place recently traveled on the other hand is something I might give and usually well received.
 
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I have given a gift to one soapland girl I repeated with the most (4 times). Instead of buying a gift, I did something more personal, I drew her portrait. I tell you, the shocked look on her face of disbelief and joy was worth it. It was very cute when she kept on saying sugoi every sentence like a hiccup. We ended up trading contact info and chat here and there ever since.

Does this always work? Hell no! I went one step further with another soapland girl and oil painted her portrait! Her response was a puzzled and deadpanned, "Why?!?" I imagine she probably threw it out after our meeting...
 
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I thought money was the gift just in the form of: money. They can then use that gift whatever way they want or need.
 
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Desktop said:
I thought money was the gift just in the form of: money. They can then use that gift whatever way they want or need.
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Doesnt work like that. The money is because you’re a client or sugar daddy.
The gift is because you are also a good friend.
Strangely enough it doesnt work the other way though: don’t expect a surprise freebie for being a good friend. :D
 
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