How do I (gently) let a soap girl down?

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hanito

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I’ve been seeing one of my favourite soap girls monthly for a couple of months now. She’s just my type: pretty face, skinny with boobs, enthusiastic service, always surprising me with her latest cosplay - the last one was a reindeer on a leash and she asked me to take her for a walk (散歩しましょう！), and she just sent me another adorable photo of her shrine maiden outfit for Jan.

But as soon as our date is over, she would keep pressuring me to book her next date. I would like to space out our meetings a bit more, explore the roster a bit, but the moment I don’t reply her messages keep coming in:

30/12: The new year is almost here! Here’s my schedule for Jan.
31/12: When can we meet? I wish it were soon.
1/1: If you want a 3P, I recommend nakayoshi X-san!
1/2: Please let me know when you’re coming back to Japan! Let’s play~

How should I gently let her down? I know ghosting probably isn’t right… or is it? I’m under no illusion that this is nothing more than a business transaction but this is the first time I’ve met such a persistent/possessive provider. Everyone else I’ve met usually leaves me to book at my own time or sends a single message on festivals.
 
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Holy shit that's some persistence. And here I am seeing on twitter about providers complaining about guys trying to talk to them about random things when they don't have any plans on reserving them any time soon

The closest I got to a possessive provider was from an older one, like mid 30s. The convo went kinda like this:

Provider: Come again, okay?
Me: I'm going to do some more traveling in this region before I leave Japan, so we'll see when I can be back in this city specifically
Provider: Okay, I'll be here waiting for you (私ここでずっと待ってるよ)*
Me: Ummm... never mind this area, I'm not sure when the next time I will be in Japan... There's still other regions I want to travel to

*translation: She's going to be working here until she retires

Lookswise, she also kinda looked like my aunt... but we only did health, so it's okay
 
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Ask for a discount, or to meet outside of work. That should do it 🤣
 
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If a reminder msg comes more than monthly just be blunt and tell her in a friendly way.

I stopped seeing providers I like when they got to clingy, it should never feel like a relationship.
 
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hanito said:
I’ve been seeing one of my favourite soap girls monthly for a couple of months now. She’s just my type: pretty face, skinny with boobs, enthusiastic service, always surprising me with her latest cosplay - the last one was a reindeer on a leash and she asked me to take her for a walk (散歩しましょう！), and she just sent me another adorable photo of her shrine maiden outfit for Jan.

But as soon as our date is over, she would keep pressuring me to book her next date. I would like to space out our meetings a bit more, explore the roster a bit, but the moment I don’t reply her messages keep coming in:

30/12: The new year is almost here! Here’s my schedule for Jan.
31/12: When can we meet? I wish it were soon.
1/1: If you want a 3P, I recommend nakayoshi X-san!
1/2: Please let me know when you’re coming back to Japan! Let’s play~

How should I gently let her down? I know ghosting probably isn’t right… or is it? I’m under no illusion that this is nothing more than a business transaction but this is the first time I’ve met such a persistent/possessive provider. Everyone else I’ve met usually leaves me to book at my own time or sends a single message on festivals.
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Ok for science i can help here.

Tell me who she is, Ill meet her and then see if i get the exact same messages at the same time (i will).

Worrying about not replying to these messages is like feeling bad about not replying to amazon or booking.com asking you why you didnt go on holiday recently or giving you personalized product recommendations.
 
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hanito said:
30/12: The new year is almost here! Here’s my schedule for Jan.
31/12: When can we meet? I wish it were soon.
1/1: If you want a 3P, I recommend nakayoshi X-san!
1/2: Please let me know when you’re coming back to Japan! Let’s play~
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Unless your specific name is in the message, she is sending those same messages to everyone in her LINE contacts, 15 contacts at a time. Sorry to burst your bubble, but if you stop replying, it's unlikely she'll even notice.

Edit: If your name is in the messages, then she's still sending them to everyone in her LINE contacts, but she's doing it one at a time rather than 15 at a time.
 
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Sudsy said:
Unless your specific name is in the message, she is sending those same messages to everyone in her LINE contacts, 15 contacts at a time. Sorry to burst your bubble, but if you stop replying, it's unlikely she'll even notice.

Edit: If your name is in the messages, then she's still sending them to everyone in her LINE contacts, but she's doing it one at a time rather than 15 at a time.
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This. It’s her job and she’s probably good at it. She won’t take it personally, neither should you.
 
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Easiest thing as others say is don't reply. You have your schedule and likely want to try other providers and space out repeats so a session never feels stale. She's a working provider trying to drum up more repeat business which helps her and her standing in the shop. It's fine that those two mindsets don't fully mesh and your next session with her if it's in a month or longer will still be good.

The only time I make it personal is once the session is in session. Until that time and after it's over, it's all business so I'm not upset too much if they cancel or I need to postpone. During the session, she's the only woman in the world for me.
 
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You guys are just so old, cynical and probably jealous. I for one am cheering for the young love as we all should.

I suggest OP arranges a meeting every time she sends him these love messages and then sends me an invitation to the wedding when he runs out of money as the girl certainly will realise then that is the only way they can continue meeting and proposes.
 
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Durg50 said:
Worrying about not replying to these messages is like feeling bad about not replying to amazon or booking.com asking you why you didnt go on holiday recently or giving you personalized product recommendations.
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Great analogy, gotta keep this in mind. It’s a bit dehumanising but it is what it is.

I’m pretty sure she’s sending me personalized messages as my name is in each one and it contains references to our previous conversations, like eating her favorite dessert together (mont blancs) and her recent excursions with her friends who I’m keen to see in the shop. I don’t need a chat buddy and don’t want to waste her time without a reservation either, so I shall refrain from replying. Thanks all for the advice.
 
hanito said:
Great analogy, gotta keep this in mind. It’s a bit dehumanising but it is what it is.

I’m pretty sure she’s sending me personalized messages as my name is in each one and it contains references to our previous conversations, like eating her favorite dessert together (mont blancs) and her recent excursions with her friends who I’m keen to see in the shop. I don’t need a chat buddy and don’t want to waste her time without a reservation either, so I shall refrain from replying. Thanks all for the advice.
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How often are you willing to see her?

Be blunt and communicate that, as a working girl she must be able to grasp that.
If she pushes you she might loose you as a customer.
 
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does she have quota to fill? write a review and many brothers will keep her busy.

or just tell them you are busy and your budget can only let you play once every 2 months.

one side this kind of thing boost your ego feeling wanted. but again it is another headache and bruise your ego since you know it is the money.

you know it is not business when she invite you to hotel all expense paid.
 
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Cinnabums said:
How often are you willing to see her?

Be blunt and communicate that, as a working girl she must be able to grasp that.
If she pushes you she might loose you as a customer.
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Probably not for the next 3 months or so. She started soap less than a year ago and I definitely had a soft spot for her so I brought gifts for subsequent visits. I must look like a walking ATM… she always ends off the session interrogating me about my calendar and when I’m next back in Tokyo, which I naively answer and perhaps that’s where she expects me to book her again.
 
hanito said:
Probably not for the next 3 months or so. She started soap less than a year ago and I definitely had a soft spot for her so I brought gifts for subsequent visits. I must look like a walking ATM… she always ends off the session interrogating me about my calendar and when I’m next back in Tokyo, which I naively answer and perhaps that’s where she expects me to book her again.
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The clinginess she brings you might annoy you but might be perfect for someone looking for a clingy provider. Another man's trash might be another man's gold.
Airnest said:
Share her name here on TAG. Pretty sure many guys here will take care of her if you don’t want to see her. That way you are still giving her income thru TAG.
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Why not?
 
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MacMackerson said:
I am going to throw out a mildly contrarian view and say give it a good think before blowing her off if the chemistry is really good.
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If she likes you enough to start giving freebies you found The Unicorn and don’t you dare fuck it up…but since you will inevitably fuck it up, share her name and shop here first so that we can appropriately console her when you do indeed inevitably fuck it up.
Also ghosting is mean. Just give her the standard response of 😍
 
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Maxblack said:
If she likes you enough to start giving freebies you found The Unicorn and don’t you dare fuck it up…but since you will inevitably fuck it up, share her name and shop here first so that we can appropriately console her when you do indeed inevitably fuck it up.
Also ghosting is mean. Just give her the standard response of 😍
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Maxblack is a living testament to this. He has always encouraged TAGers to see Airi at Marin Blue and current favorite. And is one of the first if not the first to spread the news about TAG’s living legend Y-shirts Kaoru. If you really care about her and her getting paid, you are gonna do the right thing @hanito, otherwise that is just you flexing. Which is it gonna be? I’m sure your TAG brothers will appreciate it and pick up the slack. (For the record, I personally don’t have any vested interest since I live in Osaka, I’m already busy enough supporting the fuzoku economy here.)
 
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Airnest said:
And is one of the first if not the first to spread the news about TAG’s living legend Y-shirts Kaoru. If you really care about her and her getting paid, you are gonna do the right thing @hanito, otherwise that is just you flexing. Which is it gonna be? I’m sure your TAG brothers will appreciate it and pick up the slack.
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While at it please do share the Group Age, Kinpeibai and Kohaku providers mentioned in Kawasaki Resource thread.
 
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No, no, you are actually too busy with work to answer!
 
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