How do I have sex in Japan?

[Frenchy]

Seriously, how do I have sex in Japan?
Not with whom nor where… but technically HOW?
Maybe I got it all wrong from the start ?
You guys also do it by sticking a chopstick into a lady’s nostrils, right? (But I heard it’s bad omen to leave it standing in the nostril)

 

[just4fun]

No cutting the line good Sir.

Hey, I walking here.

 

[Ken4fb]

Hey, I walking here.

There is no need to fight. She might be up for a 4P MMMF.

 

[requiemmorrow]

Seriously, how do I have sex in Japan?
Not with whom nor where… but technically HOW?
Maybe I got it all wrong from the start ?
You guys also do it by sticking a chopstick into a lady’s nostrils, right? (But I heard it’s bad omen to leave it standing in the nostril).

I strongly suggest walking into a club blindfolded with your dick out. Proceed to thrust your hips forward blindly until a hole magically lines up and allows you inside.

I mean it’s waaay more likely you’d get kancho’d, wallet stolen, and arrested, but I would think you are really cool and have a newfound respect for you.

 

[CharlieSimms]

Seriously, how do I have sex in Japan?
Not with whom nor where… but technically HOW?
Maybe I got it all wrong from the start ?
You guys also do it by sticking a chopstick into a lady’s nostrils, right? (But I heard it’s bad omen to leave it standing in the nostril)

Based on your own various self-appraisals, I am wondering if you mis-typed “toothpick” 🤔 😂😂😂

But of course neither involves penetration of the vajayjay which makes it completely legal and wholesome. And penetration of the vajayjay is NOT to be confused with penetration of “Vijay Jay” which I have come to understand is a not so uncommon man’s name in India and which would make the act entirely something else. 😳

 

[MikeH]

penetration of the vajayjay is NOT to be confused with penetration of “Vijay Jay” which I have come to understand is a not so uncommon man’s name in India and which would make the act entirely something else. 😳

Did you "come" to understand it before or after the fact?

 

[CharlieSimms]

Did you "come" to understand it before or after the fact?

Wow, I actually predicted this exact comment from you! 😂 But it was during! Somewhere within those 5-10 seconds anyway. 😉😘

 

[MikeH]

Wow, I actually predicted this exact comment from you! 😂 But it was during!

I might be dummy but at least I am predictable.

Somewhere within those 5-10 seconds anyway. 😉😘

Everyone hates bragging.

 

[Frenchy]

Based on your own various self-appraisals, I am wondering if you mis-typed “toothpick” 🤔 😂😂😂

Naaaaah
I over-compensate what Nature didn’t give me by having super long chopsticks, forks, knives, combs, you name it . Heck even super long toothpicks. Some guys prefer Ferraris or space rockets but I keep it simple

 

[rikameatball]

Wow… just wow. There is so much wrong with OP's post, I don't even know where to start. Let me start by saying this:

NEWS FLASH: Being white is NOT going to get you laid. If you cannot get laid in your home country, you cannot get laid here.

Second, knowing about J-pop and Japanese culture WILL also NOT get you laid here. Most ladies don't even care about manga. More importantly, the Japanese culture you learn about in manga isn't REAL Japanese culture. By the way – don't ask me what REAL Japanese culture is because you have to LIVE IT by LIVING here in Japan not by reading a bunch of comic books.

REAL JAPANESE CULTURE is deep and beautiful and you'll probably never understand it because your goal is to have sex with Japanese girls. (You said Jgirl, which is a disrespectful term. Japanese ladies here like to be treated like the princesses they are, and you have to learn to be a gentlemen before you should even consider coming here if you want to get any attention from these angels.)

Next, the Hub is not for you. The Hub is a classy pub frequented by well-adjusted, working people. This is not the place for a person whose career is brushing dogs. You will be laughed out of the Hub for even trying to fit in with us.

As for love hotels, you don't even need to think about it, as you'll never get that far in a relationship, judging from your OP. Same with onsen.

And your 4-inch dick IS NOT big, by the way. I don't know what you've heard, but 4 inches is only slightly above average in Japan. Don't act like you're swinging around an elephant trunk when you're still within one standard deviation of the mean.

Finally, if your goal is to teach English here, you're out of luck. Japanese English schools have high standards, and judging by your post, English wasn't your best subject in high school. You also need charisma and social skills if you want to get hired at an eikaiwa. You act like just anyone can become an English teacher as long as he's white – again your white colonialism bias is leaking through.

My honest advice is to stay in America. I'm going to be sharing your post with my friends at the Hub next weekend, and we'll all be laughing at you. Japan is NOT for people like you.

 

[TAG Manager]

There is so much wrong with OP's post

I would kindly urge you to read OP's actual post history across this site.

 

[Cinnabums]

Next, the Hub is not for you. The Hub is a classy pub frequented by well-adjusted, working people. This is not the place for a person whose career is brushing dogs. You will be laughed out of the Hub for even trying to fit in with us.

Explains it, tried to get in at many locations in all the classy area's they're located, I was never let in, I guess I have to up my game.

 

[CharlieSimms]

Hook line and sinker…. 😂😂😂

 

[Cinnabums]

Hook line and sinker…. 😂😂😂

The next Cinnabon is on me❤️

 

[MikeH]

Hook line and sinker…. 😂😂😂

I have read it twice now and still don't know if it's just an even better troll post than the original.

 

[requiemmorrow]

Wow… just wow. There is so much wrong with OP's post, I don't even know where to start. Let me start by saying this:

NEWS FLASH: Being white is NOT going to get you laid. If you cannot get laid in your home country, you cannot get laid here.

Second, knowing about J-pop and Japanese culture WILL also NOT get you laid here. Most ladies don't even care about manga. More importantly, the Japanese culture you learn about in manga isn't REAL Japanese culture. By the way – don't ask me what REAL Japanese culture is because you have to LIVE IT by LIVING here in Japan not by reading a bunch of comic books.

REAL JAPANESE CULTURE is deep and beautiful and you'll probably never understand it because your goal is to have sex with Japanese girls. (You said Jgirl, which is a disrespectful term. Japanese ladies here like to be treated like the princesses they are, and you have to learn to be a gentlemen before you should even consider coming here if you want to get any attention from these angels.)

Next, the Hub is not for you. The Hub is a classy pub frequented by well-adjusted, working people. This is not the place for a person whose career is brushing dogs. You will be laughed out of the Hub for even trying to fit in with us.

As for love hotels, you don't even need to think about it, as you'll never get that far in a relationship, judging from your OP. Same with onsen.

And your 4-inch dick IS NOT big, by the way. I don't know what you've heard, but 4 inches is only slightly above average in Japan. Don't act like you're swinging around an elephant trunk when you're still within one standard deviation of the mean.

Finally, if your goal is to teach English here, you're out of luck. Japanese English schools have high standards, and judging by your post, English wasn't your best subject in high school. You also need charisma and social skills if you want to get hired at an eikaiwa. You act like just anyone can become an English teacher as long as he's white – again your white colonialism bias is leaking through.

My honest advice is to stay in America. I'm going to be sharing your post with my friends at the Hub next weekend, and we'll all be laughing at you. Japan is NOT for people like you.

thx for ur reply

but I herd on smething called a 4cham that bein white makes asia ladies crazy horny. like y r you so upset seggs is seggs anywhere u go ur home cuntry doesn matter but “being vanilla makes u the best flavor” they say? mayb u jus h8 white peeps?

also, y u say 4 inch dik is not big, my mom told me 1 time we all come in different shapes and sizes and u cant be kickin my frend her cuz Japan dudes hav big diks!!!

also im sorry i didn no jgirl was a bad term either I say it all the time to my buddy Tak and he laughs with me…Japanese peeps always like me and tell me how gud my japanese is even though I only no like 5 words like arigato, sianara, harikari (they make weird faces when I say that one i dunno

but seriously man u need to calm down and be nicer, japan is everyone’s cuntry not just urs…americans fot and died so we could be here and share our great USA with these folks. they shud be great full.

and also we all want a piece of that pussy pie and u cut urself a peace thats 90% of it n left us fightin over the crumbs go fuck urself i need to meet jav sana imanaga oh my god shes so hawt…some1 help meeee!!!!

 

[Frenchy]

Wow… just wow. There is so much wrong with OP's post, I don't even know where to start. Let me start by saying this:

NEWS FLASH: Being white is NOT going to get you laid. If you cannot get laid in your home country, you cannot get laid here.

Second, knowing about J-pop and Japanese culture WILL also NOT get you laid here. Most ladies don't even care about manga. More importantly, the Japanese culture you learn about in manga isn't REAL Japanese culture. By the way – don't ask me what REAL Japanese culture is because you have to LIVE IT by LIVING here in Japan not by reading a bunch of comic books.

REAL JAPANESE CULTURE is deep and beautiful and you'll probably never understand it because your goal is to have sex with Japanese girls. (You said Jgirl, which is a disrespectful term. Japanese ladies here like to be treated like the princesses they are, and you have to learn to be a gentlemen before you should even consider coming here if you want to get any attention from these angels.)

Next, the Hub is not for you. The Hub is a classy pub frequented by well-adjusted, working people. This is not the place for a person whose career is brushing dogs. You will be laughed out of the Hub for even trying to fit in with us.

As for love hotels, you don't even need to think about it, as you'll never get that far in a relationship, judging from your OP. Same with onsen.

And your 4-inch dick IS NOT big, by the way. I don't know what you've heard, but 4 inches is only slightly above average in Japan. Don't act like you're swinging around an elephant trunk when you're still within one standard deviation of the mean.

Finally, if your goal is to teach English here, you're out of luck. Japanese English schools have high standards, and judging by your post, English wasn't your best subject in high school. You also need charisma and social skills if you want to get hired at an eikaiwa. You act like just anyone can become an English teacher as long as he's white – again your white colonialism bias is leaking through.

My honest advice is to stay in America. I'm going to be sharing your post with my friends at the Hub next weekend, and we'll all be laughing at you. Japan is NOT for people like you.

… and you should probably learn the definition of irony

 

[Frenchy]

thx for ur reply

but I herd on smething called a 4cham that bein white makes asia ladies crazy horny. like y r you so upset seggs is seggs anywhere u go ur home cuntry doesn matter but “being vanilla makes u the best flavor” they say? mayb u jus h8 white peeps?

also, y u say 4 inch dik is not big, my mom told me 1 time we all come in different shapes and sizes and u cant be kickin my frend her cuz Japan dudes hav big diks!!!

also im sorry i didn no jgirl was a bad term either I say it all the time to my buddy Tak and he laughs with me…Japanese peeps always like me and tell me how gud my japanese is even though I only no like 5 words like arigato, sianara, harikari (they make weird faces when I say that one i dunno

but seriously man u need to calm down and be nicer, japan is everyone’s cuntry not just urs…americans fot and died so we could be here and share our great USA with these folks. they shud be great full.

and also we all want a piece of that pussy pie and u cut urself a peace thats 90% of it n left us fightin over the crumbs go fuck urself i need to meet jav sana imanaga oh my god shes so hawt…some1 help meeee!!!!

Naaaah. Still credible!

 

[Frenchy]

I have read it twice now and still don't know if it's just an even better troll post than the original.

Ah ah, you may be right. I had just read the first few lines before answering , but then this part made me think… no, he can’t be serious !

The Hub is a classy pub frequented by well-adjusted, working people.

 

[damesto]

I never fucking laughed so hard in my damn life.
But to the OP, I feel ya man.
Seeing these crazy horny ass white dudes being immeasurably painfully gaijin here, thinking all girls here wanna jump on their dicks is fucking disgusting.
Last two years were two good years.

 

[Frenchy]

I never fucking laughed so hard in my damn life.
But to the OP, I feel ya man.
Seeing these crazy horny ass white dudes being immeasurably painfully gaijin here, thinking all girls here wanna jump on their dicks is fucking disgusting.
Last two years were two good years.

It’s even funnier when you know the OP is ethnically Japanese (or so he says, who knows, maybe our friend @Keihan is just trolling us all from the beginning, being actual white trash posing as Yamato pure-breed posing as white trash … I saw stranger things on the internet)

 

[Keihan]

I have read it twice now and still don't know if it's just an even better troll post than the original.

That's what I'm trying to figure out and my 5 Kirkland seltzers so far have me thinking I should wait till morning to say type anything. This could possibly be some masterful trolling, way out of my league.

 

[TAG Manager]

Kirkland

Kirkland shill... 🤣 🤣 🤣

 

[CharlieSimms]

Kirkland sells itself. Needs no shill. 😉