How do I make a gfe session most enjoyable for both myself/escort if I'm not quite sure what I want?

[NicoRobinLikes2Read]

Hey guys, I'm not really quite sure what I'm asking here or how to articulate it properly but I would greatly appreciate input/advice from the experienced clients and possibly even providers active on this forum. It would mean a lot to me.

I somehow stumbled upon the review linked below and while I do believe it is up to the client to communicate their expectations respectfully, it did reasonate with me because a lot of my sessions unfortunately act out the same way.

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/no-country-for-young-men.21430/

I've seen a handful of gfe independents now. I love the scene but a lot of the time I'm around the same age as the provider or even younger so boundaries can get a little weird during a session. Maybe I'm too afraid to open up because it seems too real? I tend to book 2 hours, so there should be plenty of time to establish a connection. I am always respectful and the sessions end on a good note with us both hugging goodbye HOWEVER I don't know if I'm being too self critical here but they tend to be filled with awkward small talk, fake moans, and a generally lackluster experience for both myself and the escort. Since this has happened multiple times with different girls now, clearly I am the problem here and I want to fix it. I am paying way too much for gfe as a service to have us both leaving so unfulfilled.

I'm not sure if I need to be assertive in what I want (I honestly don't even really know what I want) or if I'm just setting my expectations too high. Should I start seeing the same escort more than once to establish a proper connection? Should I get over my timidness and appear more energetic and experienced right when she walks in to set the mood?

Additionally, I'd greatly appreciate some pointers as to how to keep things interesting and different - maybe I've just done the same routine over and over at this point that it's causing me to come off as robotically acting out a script?

Thanks everyone.

 

[Kevt]

Hey guys, I'm not really quite sure what I'm asking here or how to articulate it properly but I would greatly appreciate input/advice from the experienced clients and possibly even providers active on this forum. It would mean a lot to me.

I somehow stumbled upon the review linked below and while I do believe it is up to the client to communicate their expectations respectfully, it did reasonate with me because a lot of my sessions unfortunately act out the same way.

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/no-country-for-young-men.21430/

I've seen a handful of gfe independents now. I love the scene but a lot of the time I'm around the same age as the provider or even younger so boundaries can get a little weird during a session. Maybe I'm too afraid to open up because it seems too real? I tend to book 2 hours, so there should be plenty of time to establish a connection. I am always respectful and the sessions end on a good note with us both hugging goodbye HOWEVER I don't know if I'm being too self critical here but they tend to be filled with awkward small talk, fake moans, and a generally lackluster experience for both myself and the escort. Since this has happened multiple times with different girls now, clearly I am the problem here and I want to fix it. I am paying way too much for gfe as a service to have us both leaving so unfulfilled.

I'm not sure if I need to be assertive in what I want (I honestly don't even really know what I want) or if I'm just setting my expectations too high. Should I start seeing the same escort more than once to establish a proper connection? Should I get over my timidness and appear more energetic and experienced right when she walks in to set the mood?

Additionally, I'd greatly appreciate some pointers as to how to keep things interesting and different - maybe I've just done the same routine over and over at this point that it's causing me to come off as robotically acting out a script?

Thanks everyone.

I once had the pleasure and privilege of living with an escort for a few weeks. I needed a place to stay, and she always had space. She would tell me about her guys (both the good and the bad ones). Like any other normal person, she had a "type" that she was attracted to. I had a type that I was attracted to, and we clicked. She would tell me about her guys (good and bad ones). Some were of course not her type but she would do her best at service. I could never look at escorts the same way ever again. Her clients that she really liked would get her really excited.

Now when I look to book an escort, I read into their profiles and look for things in common. Some sites say what kind of man they like. I have found that some of the profiles are fluff and not so true, but it does give a better starting point than nothing.

it's not always a win, but screening does seem to give a slight edge over pure randomness. I find I have had too many less than meaningful sessions myself to not really like finding escorts much anymore...(or I'm getting old)

I've also mostly given up though and invest most of my time and energy on sugar babies. If you really want primarily a gfe, then a SB might be your thing.

 

[david1227]

Repeat visits to the same girl.... build a “relationship” with her... u will enjoy the time better and the sex will get better over time

 

[superbowl1999]

GFE is just as hard for her to know what to do as it is for you to know what you want.

I believe asking for PSE is easier to define for both parties, while GFE is generally “don’t do what a porn star would do”. So, no smack talking from her about what she’s going to do to you, no heavy or super wet slurping, her not poking fingers in places. In general, no aggressive actions or explorations into the kinkier aspects of sex.

Agree with the recommendations to repeat or if you have that sugar baby money, going that route.

Also, recommend trying a PSE to see if you like it.

 

[MikeH]

while GFE is generally “don’t do what a porn star would do”.

Well, from my point of view that kind of a girlfriend would not be a good one.

I rather have her "do everything that a porn star would do while looking very innocent".

 

[NicoRobinLikes2Read]

She would tell me about her guys (good and bad ones). Some were of course not her type but she would do her best at service. I could never look at escorts the same way ever again.

Super curious why could never look at escorts the same way? Personally, I don't think physical attraction matters as much (or maybe I'm just a bit naïve). I mean, I'm here complaining about not feeling a connection after sticking it in 10/10's and typically, women are the ones who tend to place more emphasis on emotional connection (confidence that radiates off a man, humor, etc) rather than physical attributes when it comes to attraction.

I generally think that as long as a client is respectful & clean they should be fine for the most part. I'd much rather look forward to spending an easy day in the office with the experienced 65 year old who has been part of the company for 20+ years and knows the job like the back of his hand than the 10/10 20 year old blonde who doesn't know the job as well and has a poor work ethic.

@david1227 @superbowl1999 I think you may be on the right track. I should try seeing a girl more than just once so I learn what she likes and she learns what I like (even if I don't yet know so myself). I just struggle with the concept of putting my foot down and communicating exactly what I want without the fear of coming off as disrespectful, creepy, or plain exhausting. Maybe I should try a 4-6 hour dinner date so we're forced to explore each other beyond vanilla acts due to too much time together alone?

Well, from my point of view that kind of a girlfriend would not be a good one.

I rather have her "do everything that a porn star would do while looking very innocent".

I'm not super into too into PSE. I love GFE - kissing, staring into each others eyes as we let out a giggle, etc. Deep down I do have a couple fantasies I'd really like to experience; licking her soles, drinking her piss, etc. However, it was hard enough for me to write that out, yet alone bring these things up in a 1st time booking and maybe that's my problem.

 

[MikeH]

Maybe I should try a 4-6 hour dinner date so we're forced to explore each other beyond vanilla acts due to too much time together alone?

Then again if you don't click that is going to be a very long night. So I would suggest at least not doing it with the first booking.

licking her soles, drinking her piss, etc. However, it was hard enough for me to write that out, yet alone bring these things up in a 1st time booking and maybe that's my problem.

I am pretty sure any girl who has spend any time in escorting has heard those requests and much more. So just be polite and ask away. What is the worst she can do? Think you are a pervert? Well, welcome to the club then.

Golden showers are offered as an option in many shops, but as with any option not all girls are doing that so do your research beforehand.

 

[superbowl1999]

Then again if you don't click that is going to be a very long night. So I would suggest at least not doing it with the first booking.



I am pretty sure any girl who has spend any time in escorting has heard those requests and much more. So just be polite and ask away. What is the worst she can do? Think you are a pervert? Well, welcome to the club then.

Golden showers are offered as an option in many shops, but as with any option not all girls are doing that so do your research beforehand.

And there’s actually a pretty popular lady advertising right now on this site that specializes in GFE, is professional, and has golden showers as an option.

 

[Acid Burn]

Deep down I do have a couple fantasies I'd really like to experience; licking her soles, drinking her piss, etc. However, it was hard enough for me to write that out, yet alone bring these things up in a 1st time booking and maybe that's my problem.

Hard to even write that out? No worries, we’re all pervs here. Hang around here more. We won’t judge.

Personally, I’d have a harder time asking for the kinkier stuff with someone I repeat with rather than a first and only one time booking where I’d never see them again.

 

[MikeH]

Personally, I’d have a harder time asking for the kinkier stuff with someone I repeat with rather than a first and only one time booking where I’d never see them again.

That is the reason (or one of them) why guys who have girlfriends still use p4p too.

 

[Keihan]

Holy Dogshit...this guy is naive, sheltered and green. Do none of you feel even the slightest bit ashamed of yourselves, egging him on here?

OP, you need to get a couple of things straight. Number one, realize that you've joined a forum populated primarily by some of the lowest forms of life on earth, an online clubhouse for the most depraved, abominable and immoral jackals Japan has ever made the tragic mistake of issuing visas to.

Second, you stated in another thread that you're in your early-mid 20s? There's a reason why you're having all these hang-ups with trying to incorporate some sort of "GFE" aspect of P4P; because at your age, you're supposed to be banging an ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND, and LOTS of them, preferably simultaneously, not paying some older woman to act out some teenager's hand-holding fantasy. The P4P scene is not for young men in their sexual prime. No no no, at your age you're supposed to be subjecting yourself to real, extended, meaningful relationships, which lead to long-term relationships, which lead to emotional partners, which may then lead to marriage. You're supposed to master the art of pleasuring her, rather than yourself, being a giver rather than a receiver. You're supposed to blindly open your heart, render yourself absolutely vulnerable to such special women, and then let those reprehensible, selfish and vile twats proceed to destroy your fucking life.

They'll destroy your social life; they'll destroy your hobbies; they'll rob you of everything that makes you happy, obliterate your fucking dreams and leave you broken, aimless and hopeless. And then one day you'll come to, and you'll be maybe 35, 36 years old, you'll sit up in bed suddenly and not because that vile twat is screaming at your from the kitchen ("BAAAAAABE!! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT THE BABY'S NEW RAIN HAAAAAAT?????") and it'll hit you like a dump truck: BY GOLLY, I'M GONNA HIT UP TAG, FLY TO TOKYO AND FUCK ME A LADYBOY UP THE ASS!!

And believe me, by that point in your life and social development, you won't have any hang-ups about asking some girl if you can lick her feet or piss hole, and certainly not be fretting about being giggly and "making eye contact" when you just put down five bills for an hour-half of nut-busting entertainment. I promise you, you'll be long, long past that flavor of bullshit, you will not give two lukewarm shits about all those silly social cues and then when you circle back to TAG and start reading reviews again, all the drivel written by all the other degenerates here will start making a whole lot more sense.

BUT, if you must continue on this path of arrested development and just need a way to break through that glass ceiling, you can always try the foolproof method of champs since time immemorial--lots of alcohol. Uppers if you can find them. Pain killers if you really wanna rock out. Bring a couple bottles of Nyquil if you can get them past Customs. Once you can barely tie your fucking shoes, you'll know you're ready. Start prowling in any district with 10k Chinese shops or, better, Shinjuku 2-Chome...and let Johnny Walker take you where he takes you. Trust me, after the kinds of unspeakable horrors you will see, smell, taste and best of all recall putting your dick in, asking a working girl to piss in your mouth will be no more difficult than ordering a meal at IHOP.

 

[Frenchy]

Holy Dogshit...this guy is naive, sheltered and green. Do none of you feel even the slightest bit ashamed of yourselves, egging him on here?

OP, you need to get a couple of things straight. Number one, realize that you've joined a forum populated primarily by some of the lowest forms of life on earth, an online clubhouse for the most depraved, abominable and immoral jackals Japan has ever made the tragic mistake of issuing visas to.

Second, you stated in another thread that you're in your early-mid 20s? There's a reason why you're having all these hang-ups with trying to incorporate some sort of "GFE" aspect of P4P; because at your age, you're supposed to be banging an ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND, and LOTS of them, preferably simultaneously, not paying some older woman to act out some teenager's hand-holding fantasy. The P4P scene is not for young men in their sexual prime. No no no, at your age you're supposed to be subjecting yourself to real, extended, meaningful relationships, which lead to long-term relationships, which lead to emotional partners, which may then lead to marriage. You're supposed to master the art of pleasuring her, rather than yourself, being a giver rather than a receiver. You're supposed to blindly open your heart, render yourself absolutely vulnerable to such special women, and then let those reprehensible, selfish and vile twats proceed to destroy your fucking life.

They'll destroy your social life; they'll destroy your hobbies; they'll rob you of everything that makes you happy, obliterate your fucking dreams and leave you broken, aimless and hopeless. And then one day you'll come to, and you'll be maybe 35, 36 years old, you'll sit up in bed suddenly and not because that vile twat is screaming at your from the kitchen ("BAAAAAABE!! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT THE BABY'S NEW RAIN HAAAAAAT?????") and it'll hit you like a dump truck: BY GOLLY, I'M GONNA HIT UP TAG, FLY TO TOKYO AND FUCK ME A LADYBOY UP THE ASS!!

And believe me, by that point in your life and social development, you won't have any hang-ups about asking some girl if you can lick her feet or piss hole, and certainly not be fretting about being giggly and "making eye contact" when you just put down five bills for an hour-half of nut-busting entertainment. I promise you, you'll be long, long past that flavor of bullshit, you will not give two lukewarm shits about all those silly social cues and then when you circle back to TAG and start reading reviews again, all the drivel written by all the other degenerates here will start making a whole lot more sense.

BUT, if you must continue on this path of arrested development and just need a way to break through that glass ceiling, you can always try the foolproof method of champs since time immemorial--lots of alcohol. Uppers if you can find them. Pain killers if you really wanna rock out. Bring a couple bottles of Nyquil if you can get them past Customs. Once you can barely tie your fucking shoes, you'll know you're ready. Start prowling in any district with 10k Chinese shops or, better, Shinjuku 2-Chome...and let Johnny Walker take you where he takes you. Trust me, after the kinds of unspeakable horrors you will see, smell, taste and best of all recall putting your dick in, asking a working girl to piss in your mouth will be no more difficult than ordering a meal at IHOP.

it’s funny how, except for politics (and even sometimes about politics too) I really enjoy reading your posts. Bravo Monsieur ! Many wise (kinda/sort of) advices here .

 

[MikeH]

Number one, realize that you've joined a forum populated primarily by some of the lowest forms of life on earth, an online clubhouse for the most depraved, abominable and immoral jackals Japan has ever made the tragic mistake of issuing visas to.

Thank you for your kind words, they really warm up my heart!

But I have never ordered a meal at IHOP. I hope eating at Jollibee with two girls whose buttholes I had just ravaged counts?

 

[Keihan]

But I have never ordered a meal at IHOP. I hope eating at Jollibee with two girls whose buttholes I had just ravaged counts?

By chance, was this meal with butthole-ravaged companions in the P.I.? And more importantly, did the chicken rival Popeye's???

They opened a Jollibee's down the street from my office a few years back but I've still never tried it. But FYI, IHOP is where you apply for work when you've failed the two-question (Do you steal? Are you high?) job interview at Denny's. The late night menu is pretty satisfying after, say, 36 beers and a few good bong rips in the parking lot, but so is a reverse handjob from an ugly dude in a dress who calls himself "Kiki."

 

[Acid Burn]

They opened a Jollibee's down the street from my office a few years back but I've still never tried it.

Just try it. It’s delish. So moist and juicy. And the gravy just makes it better, especially dipping the fries into it. Preferably from somewhere busy though as the high turnover is what keeps it moist and not all dried out from under the warm lamps like some other chicken places.

 

[MikeH]

By chance, was this meal with butthole-ravaged companions in the P.I.? And more importantly, did the chicken rival Popeye's???

Yes, Angeles City. I so need to go back. Never had Popeye's either, but I wouldn't go to Jollibee sober. Never had to either though.

Just try it. It’s delish. So moist and juicy.

They certainly were. Not so much impressed by the food though.

 

[hundreddollarman]

If you’re really in your mid-20s OP, it doesn't sound like you have much real-world experience with women, civilian women. P4P should complement real-world experience, not be a substitute for it. It’s like eating junk food. Yes you can eat junk food for every meal. It will be delicious, but it will also have nasty long-term detriments. I started out in P4P in my mid-20s also but I had no illusions that I would get anything more out of seeing a provider than just a tumble in bed. It was no different than a one-night stand, but more honest at least.

Second, I think you are overthinking things. Your pleasure is a provider’s JOB. As long as you are respectful of her boundaries, respectful of her time and are good for the money, that’s all that matters to her. That’s the bare minimum to being a good client. If she gets great sex out of it or a client wants to shower her with gifts, that’s a bonus for her.

Finally, engage them as people. I mean, ask them about their interests, hobbies, favorite things, whatever. Then let them talk. And listen. Don’t even think about how you are going to respond, except maybe to line up the next question.

 

[homer69]

If you’re really in your mid-20s OP, it doesn't sound like you have much real-world experience with women, civilian women. P4P should complement real-world experience, not be a substitute for it. It’s like eating junk food. Yes you can eat junk food for every meal. It will be delicious, but it will also have nasty long-term detriments. I started out in P4P in my mid-20s also but I had no illusions that I would get anything more out of seeing a provider than just a tumble in bed. It was no different than a one-night stand, but more honest at least.

Second, I think you are overthinking things. Your pleasure is a provider’s JOB. As long as you are respectful of her boundaries, respectful of her time and are good for the money, that’s all that matters to her. That’s the bare minimum to being a good client. If she gets great sex out of it or a client wants to shower her with gifts, that’s a bonus for her.

Finally, engage them as people. I mean, ask them about their interests, hobbies, favorite things, whatever. Then let them talk. And listen. Don’t even think about how you are going to respond, except maybe to line up the next question.

This is very good advice. You are dancing on a slippery slope if you think you can have a relationship with a provider. You should go into this with the idea that she has a job and her job is to make you feel good and to satisfy your male lust and that's it. Think about that. It is her job and she is not doing it because she wants to. She is doing it because she needs to make a living, pay her bills and feed herself.

It is not a problem to become friends but it is best to remain platonic (except for when she is on the clock, of course). Most important advice is to let her talk and to listen. More than that, show her respect as a human being and take an interest in her answers. She has a private life and it is probably pretty close to normal in most cases.

From a provider's perspective, they are just scratching our itch and getting paid for providing this service. Fortunately for them we are wired to pay money for this and they are wired to provide a labor source to satisfy the demand. They are getting the last laugh with respect to women's lib and all of that other nonsense we have to deal with in western societies.

 

[hrbb]

I think what you want is a girlfriend.