Inverse relationship between Japanese ability and dating success?

[hamsap]

I'm finally back in Japan after a fair few years away and my Japanese has improved significantly to the point where simultaneous translation is part of my job.
However, compared to about 5 years ago when I was here with bad Japanese I'm getting laid less and having worse luck even meeting people.

I'm 30 so I'm not even that old. I'm decent looking at around a 7 and I'm in the same shape I was 5 years ago.
Work/life balance is roughly the same.

I'm trying everything in Japanese and I thought I would probably do better since I can actually communicate with people in their native language but it seems to be the opposite.

I'm considering just playing the dumb Gaijin with bad Japanese again instead of trying to use Japanese.

What's everyone's experience here?
If you speak Japanese do you try everything in Japanese or do you play dumb/play up your foreignness?

 

[YokoMonger]

Just being better at Japanese should make all social aspects easier. However, I'd assume if your pick-up game is weak, it'll be more obvious the more fluent you are. What sounded cute and naive if you're stumbling through asking for a LINE then a date, might sound desperate or manipulative when you're using the correct tense and phrases.

Personally as a guy that's not even a 6 but probably has a nice personality, knowing Japanese made the game so much easier.

 

[Keihan]

I'm finally back in Japan after a fair few years away and my Japanese has improved significantly to the point where simultaneous translation is part of my job.
However, compared to about 5 years ago when I was here with bad Japanese I'm getting laid less and having worse luck even meeting people.

I'm 30 so I'm not even that old. I'm decent looking at around a 7 and I'm in the same shape I was 5 years ago.
Work/life balance is roughly the same.

I'm trying everything in Japanese and I thought I would probably do better since I can actually communicate with people in their native language but it seems to be the opposite.

I'm considering just playing the dumb Gaijin with bad Japanese again instead of trying to use Japanese.

What's everyone's experience here?
If you speak Japanese do you try everything in Japanese or do you play dumb/play up your foreignness?

The reason is obvious. Now that you're near-fluent in Japanese, you're better able to more accurately convey just how much of a creep you truly are and the girls are running for the hills.

But seriously, dude, you went home in your mid-20s and then spent five fucking years studying Japanese? That's like a warning sign on top of a warning sign on top of a warning sign. I'll bet there's a gig driving an ice cream truck in the suburbs with your name all over it.

 

[requiemmorrow]

I'm finally back in Japan after a fair few years away and my Japanese has improved significantly to the point where simultaneous translation is part of my job.
However, compared to about 5 years ago when I was here with bad Japanese I'm getting laid less and having worse luck even meeting people.

I'm 30 so I'm not even that old. I'm decent looking at around a 7 and I'm in the same shape I was 5 years ago.
Work/life balance is roughly the same.

I'm trying everything in Japanese and I thought I would probably do better since I can actually communicate with people in their native language but it seems to be the opposite.

I'm considering just playing the dumb Gaijin with bad Japanese again instead of trying to use Japanese.

What's everyone's experience here?
If you speak Japanese do you try everything in Japanese or do you play dumb/play up your foreignness?

I have been fluent for most of my trips in Japan, and had very little issue meeting women.
My issue was mainly following through and knowing when to pursue or back off when meeting girls, and p4p managed to fix that (I pretty much...kinda started pursuing all the time. Yeah.)

Just pay to pound a few cunts and hop back into the game. Try new venues or maybe a hobby, and let the winds carry you a little instead of going against them.

 

[superbowl1999]

I'm finally back in Japan after a fair few years away and my Japanese has improved significantly to the point where simultaneous translation is part of my job.
However, compared to about 5 years ago when I was here with bad Japanese I'm getting laid less and having worse luck even meeting people.

I'm 30 so I'm not even that old. I'm decent looking at around a 7 and I'm in the same shape I was 5 years ago.
Work/life balance is roughly the same.

I'm trying everything in Japanese and I thought I would probably do better since I can actually communicate with people in their native language but it seems to be the opposite.

I'm considering just playing the dumb Gaijin with bad Japanese again instead of trying to use Japanese.

What's everyone's experience here?
If you speak Japanese do you try everything in Japanese or do you play dumb/play up your foreignness?

Five years may be a long time if you’re hitting on the same age group as before. A 20 year old being hitting on by a 25 year old may react differently than if approached by a 30 year old.

Not criticizing. Your 30’s is the first small taste of transitioning into becoming an old dirty bastard.

 

[robinmask]

So 5 years ago I'm guessing you were hitting on chicks in college or fresh graduates ? With all due respect, that demographic is the easy mode of getting laid in Japan as a I-suck-at-Japanese-language foreigner. Now if you're still hitting on those in that under 25 age group 5 years later, there's a hint of creepiness sprinkled in there somewhere. On the other hand, the 25-to-30 OLs are a lot trickier to get, they probably have had their fair share of imported dicks already.

 

[hamsap]

So 5 years ago I'm guessing you were hitting on chicks in college or fresh graduates ? With all due respect, that demographic is the easy mode of getting laid in Japan as a I-suck-at-Japanese-language foreigner. Now if you're still hitting on those in that under 25 age group 5 years later, there's a hint of creepiness sprinkled in there somewhere. On the other hand, the 25-to-30 OLs are a lot trickier to get, they probably have had their fair share of imported dicks already.

You and SuperBowl1999 hit the nail on the head I think.
Guess I have to finally realise I am getting older.

 

[hamsap]

The reason is obvious. Now that you're near-fluent in Japanese, you're better able to more accurately convey just how much of a creep you truly are and the girls are running for the hills.

But seriously, dude, you went home in your mid-20s and then spent five fucking years studying Japanese? That's like a warning sign on top of a warning sign on top of a warning sign. I'll bet there's a gig driving an ice cream truck in the suburbs with your name all over it.

I was working in another country (not home country) but I still get your point haha.
Guess its time to come to terms with my age.

 

[Keihan]

I was working in another country (not home country) but I still get your point haha.
Guess its time to come to terms with my age.

In all candor, 30 for a guy is not "old," per se. But it's way too fucking old to be trying to score college pussy unless you're handsome (or rich, perhaps) as fuck. I remember a night when I was 28, just before I bailed on Japan, I was nice and intoxicated and bored and tried hitting on some girl on the train ride home from my regular bar. Turned out she was maybe 18 or 19. Also turned out she was educated at a very expensive private international high school and fluent in English. And so my reward for that stunt was being told I was a fucking old creep and pervert, in English, and to fuck off. Fair enough.

Focus on the mid-20s demographic. Your challenge will be that by that age, most Japanese girls open to or interested in foreign dick and still single have already gone through the whole "I'm gonna fuck the first white guy that hits on me at HUB" phase in their early 20s and have probably rotated back into the hunt for the conventional Japanese husband a couple years older on the fast-track toward upper management. The late-20s demographic will be wide open for you but as I've mentioned before--and some here disagree with me--the girls in this age group (late 20s to early 30s) can be all...sorts...of...fucked up.

But you are here on TAG. Stop pondering and just pay for it. And try a ladyboy and write a review so I can live vicariously through someone else's exploits.

 

[newbie]

And so my reward for that stunt was being told I was a fucking old creep and pervert, in English, and to fuck off. Fair enough.

I think she was calling you a creepy pervert who happens to be old

 

[hamsap]

A little update.
I went out last night and focused on the girls who looked around my age (still hot at this age for sure) and was successful.
I'll venture into P4P when needed in the future so you'll get your report soon @Keihan

 

[requiemmorrow]

A little update.
I went out last night and focused on the girls who looked around my age (still hot at this age for sure) and was successful.

Successful as in you got your gashbasher handled…or a LINE?

 

[hamsap]

Successful as in you got your gashbasher handled…or a LINE?

Gashbasher handled at a nearby love hotel.

 

[requiemmorrow]

Gashbasher handled at a nearby love hotel.

 

[peterfox]

This is so demotivating to read as a 32 year old contemplating about moving here whose Japanese language skills is worse than a 2 year old. 😂

Guess I’ll have to negotiate a good salary to support p4p..

 

[hamsap]

This is so demotivating to read as a 32 year old contemplating about moving here whose Japanese language skills is worse than a 2 year old. 😂

Guess I’ll have to negotiate a good salary to support p4p..

I wouldn't worry too much.
Turns out I was just stuck in my old ways and routines of when I lived here as a younger man.
After the wake up call its been going ok

 

[Keihan]

I think she was calling you a creepy pervert who happens to be old

Fuck that, I was in my faux leather Uniqlo bomber jacket, baggy Levi's 560s and 2000-yen elf loafers from the stand outside Daiei. I was fucking pimp. In retrospect, my pitch that I'd be a great time because I understand teens because I teach teens at a high school very close to hers may have not been the best strategy.

 

[peterfox]

I wouldn't worry too much.
Turns out I was just stuck in my old ways and routines of when I lived here as a younger man.
After the wake up call its been going ok

Hah nice, glad it worked out for you in the end! I’ll stumble my way through this adventure and see what I’ll find along the way haha