Japanese women and texting..

[Fragglestick]

So, I’ve been in Japan almost a full year now. Over the summer I began a sneaky relationship with a woman (maybe that is important for context), and we kept in general contact over LINE. I was on work and we live about 9 hours apart. The texting started out slow as our physical relationship evolved and then when I had to return home, our texting relationship grew. She speaks and understands English, but not extremely well. My Japanese skills are poor. Anyways, I had a return trip and then after that it seemed like the texting kind of dwindled, and I’ve had several return trips since… our physical relationship remains strong but then when we are apart it seems like she doesn’t want to text much anymore.

cut to three other women I’ve met since then, two do not speak English but we met and hit it off (one resulted in a ONS, the other was just a friendly encounter) and it just seems like they are really bad at responding in a timely matter, or at all sometimes? The eagerness to communicate seems to spike and decline back and forth. I understand translating is not optimal for communication, but we made it work well enough to get to where we are.

Then there is a third new woman who speaks perfect English. Who responded very punctually, and then just kind of stopped. Her I can at least chalk up to probably becoming disinterested. I actually haven’t even met her in person (met through an app).

i guess what my question is, is texting etiquette just different for Japanese women? I see my friends are often actually talking on the phone as opposed to solely texting. I understand the Japanese are very schedule oriented and stick to those schedules pretty hardcore. I imagine that stopping to text often could pose a problem for these schedules. I don’t know, any input on this?

 

[CharlieSimms]

My own experience certainly validates all of this. This is why I have 20+ leads being developed at any given time. You can’t depend on any single one but as an aggregate the results are always good. Never ever get
pissed off though about the slow pace of the messaging
and never cut the connection from ur side in frustration. I have had many great things happen by just being patient and easygoing. Leads I thought were completely and permanently dead all of a sudden come back with a fury. My biggest challenge is actually when too many leads get too hot at once and risk losing them by not being able to move them all forward. Perhaps a bit off topic but yes I think what you are observing is completely normal and to be expected.

 

[Fragglestick]

My own experience certainly validates all of this. This is why I have 20+ leads being developed at any given time. You can’t depend on any single one but as an aggregate the results are always good. Never ever get
pissed off though about the slow pace of the messaging
and never cut the connection from ur side in frustration. I have had many great things happen by just being patient and easygoing. Leads I thought were completely and permanently dead all of a sudden come back with a fury. My biggest challenge is actually when too many leads get too hot at once and risk losing them by not being able to move them all forward. Perhaps a bit off topic but yes I think what you are observing is completely normal and to be expected.

thanks for the response! Well this makes me feel a little better. In the beginning, when it was just the first mistress, I had a real hard time accepting that this may just be normal fashion for them. She really stuck out with me though and helped me grow patience.
When you say don’t cut it on my end, do you mean like I should message even if I haven’t heard from them in a day or?

 

[CharlieSimms]

No I simply meant don’t remove them or block them as contacts. My experience is you don’t want to over-message. A single back and forth can take days. If I am really keen on the lady, I may send one follow up a week or two after an unanswered message. But that would be it. Desperation is one way to kill a potentially good future vibe.

 

[Fragglestick]

No I simply meant don’t remove them or block them as contacts. My experience is you don’t want to over-message. A single back and forth can take days. If I am really keen on the lady, I may send one follow up a week or two after an unanswered message. But that would be it. Desperation is one way to kill a potentially good future vibe.

Gotcha man, that’s how I felt about it. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Keihan]

cut to three other women I’ve met since then, two do not speak English but we met and hit it off (one resulted in a ONS, the other was just a friendly encounter) and it just seems like they are really bad at responding in a timely matter, or at all sometimes? The eagerness to communicate seems to spike and decline back and forth.

That's because you're not the only guy they're playing this game with. You're playing the numbers, and so are they. When a really hot prospect pops up, you get shoved to the back of the priority list; when he (or even she?) fizzles out, they start rotating through old texts and you might become interesting again. That's the beauty of social media.

If you want a girl who's going to obsessively bombard you with texts all day long, every single day, find a homely girl and put a ring on her finger. They usually cook pretty well, too.

 

[Sudsy]

If you want a girl who's going to obsessively bombard you with texts all day long, every single day, find a homely girl and put a ring on her finger. They usually cook pretty well, too.

 

[Frenchy]

View attachment 17164

They usually cook pretty well, too.

Mine didn’t even do that

 

[Fragglestick]

While I see what you’re saying and I won’t argue, it’s definitely not true with the first one. I could see it being possible with at least two of the others though.

 

[shadowboxer]

View attachment 17163 View attachment 17164


Mine didn’t even do that

Perhaps your culinary standards are pretty high because of your French background? (Very stereotype reasoning I know)

 

[Frenchy]

Perhaps your culinary standards are pretty high because of your French background? (Very stereotype reasoning I know)

It’s all cliché really…
You know the most profitable country for McDonald in Europe? Yep, France

 

[shadowboxer]

It’s all cliché really…
You know the most profitable country for McDonald in Europe? Yep, France

What happened to the country of José Bové?

 

[Frenchy]

What happened to the country of José Bové?

How the fuck do you know him?! You must be a stealth-Frenchy too right?

 

[shadowboxer]

How the fuck do you know him?! You must be a stealth-Frenchy too right?

Na, I just remembered to have seen some pictures of French activists (farmers?) destroying a couple of McDonald's stores. I had to google his name.

 

[CharlieSimms]

Hmmm…. Anyone who can seamlessly put accents above their e’s - knows how to and gives a shoot about doing it - is suspiciously French. Or perhaps one of the most scary types, a Francophile.

 

[Sudsy]

Anyone who can seamlessly put accents above their e’s - knows how to and gives a shoot about doing it - is suspiciously French.

Or Canadian, mon frère.

Or from Louisiana, ça c’est bon?

 

[shadowboxer]

Hmmm…. Anyone who can seamlessly put accents above their e’s - knows how to and gives a shoot about doing it - is suspiciously French. Or perhaps one of the most scary types, a Francophile.

That would also qualify for Spanish, wouldn‘t it?

 

[Frenchy]

That would also qualify for Spanish, wouldn‘t it?

And Vietnamese. They are actually the kings of accentuation.

 

[Rusty Trombone]

So, I’ve been in Japan almost a full year now. Over the summer I began a sneaky relationship with a woman (maybe that is important for context), and we kept in general contact over LINE. I was on work and we live about 9 hours apart. The texting started out slow as our physical relationship evolved and then when I had to return home, our texting relationship grew. She speaks and understands English, but not extremely well. My Japanese skills are poor. Anyways, I had a return trip and then after that it seemed like the texting kind of dwindled, and I’ve had several return trips since… our physical relationship remains strong but then when we are apart it seems like she doesn’t want to text much anymore.

cut to three other women I’ve met since then, two do not speak English but we met and hit it off (one resulted in a ONS, the other was just a friendly encounter) and it just seems like they are really bad at responding in a timely matter, or at all sometimes? The eagerness to communicate seems to spike and decline back and forth. I understand translating is not optimal for communication, but we made it work well enough to get to where we are.

Then there is a third new woman who speaks perfect English. Who responded very punctually, and then just kind of stopped. Her I can at least chalk up to probably becoming disinterested. I actually haven’t even met her in person (met through an app).

i guess what my question is, is texting etiquette just different for Japanese women? I see my friends are often actually talking on the phone as opposed to solely texting. I understand the Japanese are very schedule oriented and stick to those schedules pretty hardcore. I imagine that stopping to text often could pose a problem for these schedules. I don’t know, any input on this?

Texting is an overrated waste of time. It's something that should be left to those nights when you get home drunk and horny (believe me, nothing ever goes wrong in this scenario).

LINE is a place to set time and date only. Only other reason is if something really interesting happened and you want to share.

I generally tell any potential partner this early on (on first dates in most cases).

If you want a chat, face time or line video.

It is even worse in Japan with the language barrier, as messages get taken way out of context.

 

[Fragglestick]

Texting is an overrated waste of time. It's something that should be left to those nights when you get home drunk and horny (believe me, nothing ever goes wrong in this scenario).

LINE is a place to set time and date only. Only other reason is if something really interesting happened and you want to share.

I generally tell any potential partner this early on (on first dates in most cases).

If you want a chat, face time or line video.

It is even worse in Japan with the language barrier, as messages get taken way out of context.

It hasn’t been a waste of time for me. I do use LINE as the texting format. Video chat would be out of the question for two of these ladies as we don’t speak each other’s languages. I was only inquiring about the length of time between contact. Thinking this form of communication is a waste of time is subjective.

 

[CharlieSimms]

I imagine Rusty might be referring to setting up something with someone you have never met. I don’t know. But I agree the women I know at least would be turned off immensely by calling them up - and a video call, just wow. For better or worse, it’s a messaging world. I do get angry calls from time to time as an immediate reaction to something I texted that pisses a girl off though. “Wtf - I am not going to do THAT!! Well… at least for THAT!!” Lol.

 

[Rusty Trombone]

It hasn’t been a waste of time for me. I do use LINE as the texting format. Video chat would be out of the question for two of these ladies as we don’t speak each other’s languages. I was only inquiring about the length of time between contact. Thinking this form of communication is a waste of time is subjective.

Sorry Bro, didn’t mean anything offensive.
Just going on what I think. I just don’t like constant texting and it doesn’t bother me if people don’t reply quickly.
I prefer setting up a meeting via text, and I usually get a prompt reply to this as they know I’ll just do something else , or meet someone else if they don’t get back to me.

Just speaking for myself, if it’s an issue then raise it with them. If it doesn’t improve then move on. There’s plenty of others out there.

 

[Bobby Maupy]

I’ve noticed some are really bad at texting back. Of course this is in English and not their native Japanese language so I would imagine this would be a challenge for most. I’ve had one girl message on HT like a normal American girl and others take half a day or a full day to respond. Each girl is different usually you can tell right away about her texting behaviors.