Just Joined Seeking Arrangement

[Snuggles]

I just joined Seeking Arrangement. It is exciting and interesting. Some of the women are attractive in mind and body, but others scare me! Just the wording of their profile sounds so angry for some of them.

It is a big time sink, as another poster said at TAG. I have read what I can about how to do it here. But I feel out of my depth. It seems difficult to get anything set up. But if the pictures are real, some of the women seem genuine, beautiful and nice.

But we`ll see. Any advice on what to do or not to do appreciated!

I`m looking to meet a long term SB. But I am also open to short term.

Some of the women at SA state they do not want sex. So some simply want a friend.

So as others have said, there are all kinds of potential relationships there.

I am hoping for something more intimate than P4P. But with no strings attached as I have a family, and have a great life, except for a lack of sex at home.

 

[Frenchy]

Thanks for sharing , very interested to know about your experience going forward.

 

[User#8628]

but others scare me! Just the wording of their profile sounds so angry for some of them.

Haha interesting!
Can you give an example?

 

[Browcoco]

there are a ton of people who explicitly say they are only interested in a platonic relationship. Which means there are a ton of people who are not worth the time for me (just my personal opinion) to contact. Figure out a tactful way to put that, contact people whose description it fits, and you are golden!

At the end of the day, it's a bit more flexible (on both sides ) than p4p, which means the terms and conditions have to make sense on both sides. Accept that, and it can be great fun. Good luck!

 

[Wwanderer]

there are a ton of people who explicitly say they are only interested in a platonic relationship.

While I suspect that the large majority of SBs with profiles that say "platonic only" or "nothing sexual" etc actually mean it, I have discovered (to my delight) that some of them put such statements in their profiles merely to discourage guys who are interested only or primarily in sex without much of an accompanying relationship.

It is also quite common ime for the "Lifestyle Expectation" (allowance size) SBs list in their profile to bear zero relation to what they are actually quite happy to accept.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

I just joined Seeking Arrangement. It is exciting and interesting. Some of the women are attractive in mind and body,

Welcome to the sugar bowl; it is sweet!

I have had a profile on SA for over ten years now, since the site was only about 6 months old I believe, and have been sugar dating quite actively for a half dozen or so years.

but others scare me! Just the wording of their profile sounds so angry for some of them.

Yeah, some have extremely angry, demanding/rigid and defensive sounding profiles. They usually put me off and cause me not to meet them; however, when I have met SBs with such angry profiles, it has usually turned out to be the case that they re-wrote their profile in reaction to meeting SDs who were jerks and treated them badly in some way, including outright scamming them. If you can convey that you are a reasonable and sincere/nice SD in correspondence or when you meet, they often turn out to be as friendly as any other SB and sometimes more so.

It is a big time sink, as another poster said at TAG. I have read what I can about how to do it here. But I feel out of my depth. It seems difficult to get anything set up. But if the pictures are real, some of the women seem genuine, beautiful and nice.

There definitely are a good number of real gems on SA...just takes time and effort to find them, as you say. Fwiiw, I have encountered rather few fake or heavily photoshopped pictures of SBs on SA, especially if they look like casual snapshots and not images from professional model shoots, though those can be real too.

But we`ll see. Any advice on what to do or not to do appreciated!

Don't give up too soon or too easily. Most likely you will need to correspond with a bunch of SBs and meet at least a few before finding a good sugar match.

I`m looking to meet a long term SB. But I am also open to short term.

Some of the women at SA state they do not want sex. So some simply want a friend.

So as others have said, there are all kinds of potential relationships there.

I am hoping for something more intimate than P4P. But with no strings attached as I have a family, and have a great life, except for a lack of sex at home.

Fwiiw, the two bits in the above quote that I made bold contain elements that are somewhat in conflict or tension. Namely and perhaps obviously, the more intimate and longer term a sugar arrangement is, the more likely it is for strings to appear tan become stronger over time. That's not to say that it cannot be managed, but it isn't always easy, and of course if one person feels stings/attachment and the other does not, there is potential for all sorts of problems and emotional pain.

-Ww

 

[Browcoco]

While I suspect that the large majority of SBs with profiles that say "platonic only" or "nothing sexual" etc actually mean it, I have discovered (to my delight) that some of them put such statements in their profiles merely to discourage guys who are interested only or primarily in sex without much of an accompanying relationship.

You are of course right; but, for me, an essential part of this whole thing is not wasting time playing such games.

 

[Wwanderer]

You are of course right; but, for me, an essential part of this whole thing is not wasting time playing such games.

I understand, and I generally don't contact or even reply to messages from SBs who appear to rule out intimacy in their profiles myself, but I make occasional exceptions for various reasons. It is not unusual for women whose profiles contain such statements to contact me first saying that they are interested; in those cases I will sometimes write back and point out that I am not interested in a sugar relationship in which sex is ruled out categorically from the beginning. In fact my own SA profile says as much...which I will point out to them. That is usually the end of it. But sometimes, they come back and say that they are actually open to a sexual arrangement as long as there is chemistry etc but just put the statement in their profile to reduce the contacts from certain types of guys. Imo, this is not a wise way to go for an SB, but it is also not terribly rare.

-Ww

 

[Jaaz]

fact my own SA profile says as much...which I will point out to them.

Any tips on how do out this and other wants in profiles? I get the impression one shouldn't say it bluntly, but maybe I'm overthinking it...

 

[Wwanderer]

Any tips on how do out this and other wants in profiles? I get the impression one shouldn't say it bluntly, but maybe I'm overthinking it...

I'm not the @Sinapse of sugar dating, ready with a bunch of advice and pointers on how to do all sorts of things connected to women and in life in general. To be clear, I am not expressing any irritation with your question or with you. It is just that I don't really know how to answer; I tend not to think of natural activities such as communicating in terms of techniques or tricks.

I just say whatever I want to communicate in my profile in my normal writing "voice" for informally addressing people I don't know...pretty much the same style and "voice" I use for my TAG posts, perhaps a notch more formal since I feel that I at least e-know the TAG regulars and know a few in real life, quite well in a couple of cases.

Anyway, my profile says something along the lines of intimacy being important to me in sugar dating but that other things are important too. I'd prefer not to quote my profile exactly in an open net post, but if you want to know exactly what it says in this regard, feel free to message me. But imo there is no reason for you to say whatever you want to say in the way that I'd say it; better to just be yourself and not overthink it or even think it at all. Just do it.

-Ww

 

[Snuggles]

Haha interesting!
Can you give an example?

They seem to refer to things that have happened. I.e.) "Don't just request my private photos!" Or "If you don't understand English or Japanese, don't contact me!"
Some seem kind from the wording they use, while others sound hard done by and unbalanced and scary. I don't want to end up like Michael Douglas in Fatal Attraction! Ha ha

 

[Snuggles]

Someone pointed out that one of the great things about Sugar Dating is the variety of women. I agree from what I've seen at SA.

Also, after thinking more on all of this, I have realized that when I do P4P, I talk with the lady quite a lot. One reason is to put both of us at ease, especially her. The other is , I enjoy it and it makes it more intimate. I hope she enjoys it too, and most seem to.

But I have come to the conclusion that while I enjoy the conversation during say a two hour session of love making, I'm not sure I want to do the time sink of dating.

So perhaps SD is a mistake for me? Or perhaps not? Like me, Some of the women seem to want to get down to business. Lol

I was hoping for more intimacy from this. I like making the woman feel good. But have found in P4p they may fake an orgasm, or don't want you to even touch them much down there.

For me that is disappointing.

I want a real girlfriend experience without the fakery and without the time sink. Also as Wwanderer had said, with a long term thing the risks of attachment go up.

In a nutshell: hoping for a regular thing, where we can really make love, NOT just focus on my pleasure. And not get all serious. We both know the rules. And yet I can be with a variety of women.

So some SBs would probably not like the above.

I have a good life. I don't want to blow that. (Pardon the expression!)

 

[Wwanderer]

In a nutshell: hoping for a regular thing, where we can really make love, NOT just focus on my pleasure. And not get all serious. We both know the rules. And yet I can be with a variety of women.

While I am sure that you can find such a situation through SA, it isn't so easily done. And when you add the goals of wanting such relationships with multiple women and to achieve them without taking much of your time, the scenario becomes quite unrealistic and far fetched imo.

I am reminded of the head of NASA back in the '90s who announced the goal of doing space missions "faster, better and cheaper". The wry joke among NASA engineers was "pick two".

-Ww

 

[Snuggles]

I felt I was reaching too. But I will dare to dream.

 

[User#8628]

While I am sure that you can find such a situation through SA, it isn't so easily done. And when you add the goals of wanting such relationships with multiple women and to achieve them without taking much of your time, the scenario becomes quite unrealistic and far fetched imo.

I am reminded of the head of NASA back in the '90s who announced the goal of doing space missions "faster, better and cheaper". The wry joke among NASA engineers was "pick two".

-Ww

I think you have quite some women like this around you yourself.
But of course you've used a lot of time finding them

 

[Jaaz]

I definitely feel there's a time sink in the beginning during the search, reaching out, and the M&Gs (Meet & Greets). I like to think the time investment will pay off, but you're right in that it's definitely not fast.

So perhaps SD is a mistake for me? Or perhaps not? Like me, Some of the women seem to want to get down to business. Lol

You're right. Some want to get right down to business. I feel like there's a pretty big disconnect between what I think an SD-SB relationship is and what some of the younger Japanese girls think one is. Of the three Japanese girls that have responded, two have asked for 50,000 JPY per meet with very minimal conversation and we haven't even met in-person. One even quoted a pretty high price for dinner. While I didn't say it, I can pull off nearly the same thing for significantly less at a Deai Cafe for a good time. Then get her contact info afterwards so we can meet up again on the same terms.

But I have come to the conclusion that while I enjoy the conversation during say a two hour session of love making, I'm not sure I want to do the time sink of dating.

In a nutshell: hoping for a regular thing, where we can really make love, NOT just focus on my pleasure. And not get all serious. We both know the rules. And yet I can be with a variety of women.

I feel like after the M&Gs (and possible subsequent dates), you either want her or you don't. It's like an accelerated date. If you can then find terms you both agree on the "dating" is done and you can move on to the fun. Maybe give it a bit more time?

 

[Wwanderer]

I think you have quite some women like this around you yourself.
But of course you've used a lot of time finding them

Correct in both regards...lots of time and considerable money plus many potentials that didn't work out. But having such rare and fantastic gems in my life is waaaay more than worth it to me.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

If you can then find terms you both agree on the "dating" is done and you can move on to the fun.

I think sugaring works MUCH better for all concerned if you both regard the dating as a major part of the fun.

-Ww

 

[Jaaz]

I think sugaring works MUCH better for all concerned if you both regard the dating as a major part of the fun.

I agree. I am looking forward to the fun of being out with pretty young thing. I just thought perhaps Snuggles could think about it a different way? After, it is dating, but not in the conventional sense.

 

[Wwanderer]

I agree. I am looking forward to the fun of being out with pretty young thing. I just thought perhaps Snuggles could think about it a different way? After, it is dating, but not in the conventional sense.

Thanks for the clarification.

I don't know what appeals to @Snuggles of course, but in any case my comment was meant in general, not specifically to you or him or even just to SDs. I think the SBs who just "want to get down to business" are missing much of the fun of sugaring too. It is one of the things that distinguishes sugaring from escorting (cue @e-smile); an SB ought not see an SD unless she genuinely enjoys and values his company in many different circumstances and activities (in my concept of sugar dating).

-Ww

 

[Jaaz]

Thanks for the clarification as well and appreciate the continued wisdom and advice you've provided.

 

[e-smile]

Thanks for the clarification.

I don't know what appeals to @Snuggles of course, but in any case my comment was meant in general, not specifically to you or him or even just to SDs. I think the SBs who just "want to get down to business" are missing much of the fun of sugaring too. It is one of the things that distinguishes sugaring from escorting (cue @e-smile); an SB ought not see an SD unless she genuinely enjoys and values his company in many different circumstances and activities (in my concept of sugar dating).

-Ww

Mate there are many things distinguishing sugaring and escorting, I never said it's identical. I just said the girls who do sugaring and those who do escorting are both wanting more than the guy's company and both expect to have a material benefit of the encounter even if they enjoy his company.
And I said that in reaction to the escort ban from SA which surprised me because I don't see any reason why an escort couldn't be a SB.

 

[Wwanderer]

Mate there are many things distinguishing sugaring and escorting, I never said it's identical.

Here are your posts which appeared to me to assert that escorting and being an SB are the same:

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/sa-pros-cons-galore.14996/#post-109845

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/sa-pros-cons-galore.14996/#post-109857

But I don't mean to bust your chops about it. Many people think they are the same. A discussion of the differences is a perfectly good, even useful, topic imo. Thanks for bringing it up.

-Ww

 

[e-smile]

Here are your posts which appeared to me to assert that escorting and being an SB are the same:

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/sa-pros-cons-galore.14996/#post-109845

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/sa-pros-cons-galore.14996/#post-109857

But I don't mean to bust your chops about it. Many people think they are the same. A discussion of the differences is a perfectly good, even useful, topic imo. Thanks for bringing it up.

-Ww

both messages were reacting to the escort ban part, now read the one after the two you picked:
https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/sa-pros-cons-galore.14996/#post-109886
and there are others like that.

so yeah "the details are different but it's the same concept" : offering female company to men in exchange for material benefits.

You know what is the opposite concept ? Dating and one night stand for free, the female company is in exchange for your own company. But yeah of course dating and one night stands aren't the same thing, it remains the same concept in opposition of P4P.

So if what I mean isn't clear enough here is another statement : your SB isn't really your GF, and sleeping with many escort isn't the same as picking up many girls, the first one doesn't make you a playboy.

 

[Wwanderer]

your SB isn't really your GF,...

Why is that? Is there something about an exchange of money that precludes real affection for some reason in your opinion?

It may seem odd, but I am much *more* willing to give money to a woman who likes me and who would be happy to spend time with me anyway than one who doesn't and wouldn't.

-Ww