Kabekura Girls Outside Work?

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tokyoluckyhole

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This may be a dumb beginner question, but if a crazy hot kabekura worker gives you her LINE info, is it horribly inappropriate to, umm, proposition them for sex? I was taken to a very nice and very expensive kabekura by a new Japanese friend who wanted to show me a good time (and I think he may have a bit of an addiction to these establishments). I think I saw him throw down at least 70k at this place, which made me feel terrible. BUT the girls were very friendly (duh) and VERY good looking. Like this was a scene from a yakuza movie or something.

Anyway, I asked the gorgeous girl that was up against me all night if she would be open to a date another day, and she seemed positive, asking what kind of date I had in mind. I didn't want to blurt out that I wanted her to come to my place or a hotel and do hot sex to me, so I kept it vague. I'm not great at social cues or unspoken rules in general, so I wanted to seek advice for what is the protocol here. For that kind of money, I cannot believe people just talk, drink, and leave. I appreciate anyone indulging a naive newbie.
 
This kind of question does always make the top 10 list of how to be a clueless foreign male in Japan. Meaning to not understand or respect the system of the place of entertainment in question. Perception of foreigners not understanding or accepting the systems shops have in place or ladies have chosen for their employment is one big reason foreigners are often not welcomed so much. Girls work at kyabas because they have purposefully chosen a job where they don’t have to have sex. And men with means pay a premium to have beautiful ladies dote on them while they drink. That’s it.

That’s not to say sex with customers never happens. Of course it does. If the lady feels it’s worth her time and energy. Not only financially. She may choose a regular who spends a lot of time at her club, gives her gifts, is attractive, etc. Any number of reasons. Maybe including making some cash. But only if the equation makes it sensible for her. Generally she is going to be very picky because she can.

I don’t think there is any issue with asking for what you want and making a proposition. Just don’t be surprised if she refuses. And also this has nothing to do with the club. This is really where foreigners tend to get confused. The business model of a kyaba is only drinking. The other stuff is between two adults privately. No different if you solicited your hot hair dresser etc. Only that the kyaba lady will probably be far more accustomed to getting offers for sex. Lol. Good luck!!
 
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Don't worry, I did not besmirch the reputation of foreign men, and did not ask anything explicit or inappropriate in the bar :). In fact the male staff was super friendly and apologizing to me because of the loud drunk Japanese guys at the table next to us (not that it bothered me one bit). I understand the business model on the surface, but like you said, sex happens, and I want to be tuned into the likely very subtle signals. She gave me her LINE with her real name on it, which I thought was unusual. Even in one on one messages, I would feel strange asking outright, so I see how it plays out gradually.
 
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tokyoluckyhole said:
She gave me her LINE with her real name on it, which I thought was unusual.
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Are you sure she did? What proof do you have it’s her “real” name? If she did, unusual is an understatement. But then you can freely text her and ask her out outside the shop.
 
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Dated a kyabakura girl for a while and she said it was not uncommon to hand out contact info to customers to go out and have dinner together before bringing them to the club. This is called "douhan" and is done by high-end hostesses as well. The objective is to get a free dinner and reel them into the club to spend more money. Sex is generally avoided as customers may lose interest once the deed is done. In my case, I met the girl outside of her work through friends and never went to her club. We eventually broke up as I got tired of her constantly having to take calls from club customers when we were together.
 
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If you believe spending 7man in kyabakura and getting girl's contact info is an invitation to sex then I have a great deal on a bridge just for you.
 
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Douhan is very common but it’s part of their job. They make more money if they can attract the customer to the shop, in addition to the free dinner. But as far as I know, the girl will use a “business” LINE account, even more if it’s the first time she sees you.
 
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Mitaka said:
Are you sure she did? What proof do you have it’s her “real” name? If she did, unusual is an understatement. But then you can freely text her and ask her out outside the shop.
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Definitely possible the whole “this is my personal account” thing was just a sales tactic, but I’m an optimist.
 
MikeH said:
If you believe spending 7man in kyabakura and getting girl's contact info is an invitation to sex then I have a great deal on a bridge just for you.
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I used to live near that bridge and got to use it for free, so why buy the cow…

Like I said above, I’m an optimist! Plus I’m somewhat charming when drunk, so maybe she’s in love? ;)
 
Mitaka said:
Douhan is very common but it’s part of their job. They make more money if they can attract the customer to the shop, in addition to the free dinner. But as far as I know, the girl will use a “business” LINE account, even more if it’s the first time she sees you.
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Hope she likes Yoshinoya. If I have to pay next time it’ll be all I can afford!
 
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May want to budget in this one also…. ;)
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AsiaHand said:
Dated a kyabakura girl for a while and she said it was not uncommon to hand out contact info to customers to go out and have dinner together before bringing them to the club. This is called "douhan" and is done by high-end hostesses as well. The objective is to get a free dinner and reel them into the club to spend more money. Sex is generally avoided as customers may lose interest once the deed is done. In my case, I met the girl outside of her work through friends and never went to her club. We eventually broke up as I got tired of her constantly having to take calls from club customers when we were together.
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I can imagine that would be difficult. I’ve met and kinda dated (at least booty called) dommes and fetish models before that I met in more normal settings, and it was always a little awkward.
 
@tokyoluckyhole : She was a pretty cool girl and the cabaret job was just an easy way to make a lot of money. She used to joke about some of the customers and tell me how the girls would flatter them into spending more money. The fact that she worked all night and we had opposite schedules was also another reason why it didn't last.
 
If she wants you to go back to the store, you're likely not going to sleep with her unless you become a regular and start dropping 7-10 man a week on her alone. Even then, it's really not guaranteed that you'll have sex with her.

I say this as someone who spends an unhealthy amount of time in Kyabakura clubs.
 
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