Guest viewing is limited

Ken's story: Too much trust , too soon?

I am very sorry for the loss. It seems like she was an honest girl since she tried to pay you back several times. Maybe she had reasons that she didn't want or couldn't share, or she was afraid to continue or she was just sugaring to get a certain amount of money for something... who knows? It has happened to you with an SB, and it could have occurred to you with any other type of relationship. Sometimes, a comet crosses our lives, illuminates us for a time, and leaves a trail of good memories and feelings mixed with bitter sadness. Yes, of course, it has happened to me too. You have my sympathy as brothers-in-arms.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Majestyk, Alice and Ken4fb
I experienced the same thing as Ken! The only difference is that the 20 year old I was having a great time having sex and enjoying nightlife with agreed to go with me to Nara to a great hotel. Up until 30 minutes before the departure of the Shinkansen, she told me she was running late. Little did I know, but she was on her way to Haneda Airport on her way out of Japan. She even felt guilty about her actions and after a few months sent me an apology message, but never offered to reimburse me for the trip. But at least I only incurred minimal loses as I didn’t have to pay her per day allowance.

The whole time I thought she really was into me as the one thing that put me in this other level was that she told me that she’d never gotten wet during sex, which explained all the lube she used. But after a while, I got her engine going and she had this crazy orgasm. I’ll never forget the wild sex after that! Out of all the young ladies I have done the deed with, she was the best. Even if I pushed her buttons the right way, spent a couple of Gs on her per meet, and spent hours, days at a time with her, she still ghosted me in the end up until the apology message.

After that, I just come to expect that from them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Alice, zerosupblues, IchigoDave and 1 other person
biggiesmallpop said:
Sounds like a typical end -- take illness, make up a story about being away -- if the guy doesn't take the hint then fully ghost. Don't feel bad it is you -- it's the game
Click to expand...
Call me stupid. I don't have any other choices other than continuing to believe in what she said.

Well, at least that's how I interpreted the song in my post anyway.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cinnabums and MikeH
Ken4fb said:
Flying alone sucks, especially when you were expecting to have sex on the plane
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear about what happened. In some ways getting rejected by a SW is worse because you can't help feeling "Shit, not even money can help me buy (fake) love. There must be something wrong with me".
Hopefully you'll find someone else who will be up for sex on a plane!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Frenchy, MrIchijoji and zerosupblues
Ken4fb said:
Call me stupid. I don't have any other choices other than continuing to believe in what she said.

Well, at least that's how I interpreted the song in my post anyway.
Click to expand...
Ken, you can believe that she chose not to go, but why will still be a mystery. But at least she offered to pay you back.

On another note, that begs to question how a host can simply enslave them over something like that.
 
Jimmy Chu1969 said:
Ken, you can believe that she chose not to go, but why will still be a mystery. But at least she offered to pay you back.

On another note, that begs to question how a host can simply enslave them over something like that.
Click to expand...
Maybe the host is more their type physically. For them it’s all about the money.You like who you like, (in that case they are head over heels over hosts.) nothing much you can do about that.
 
  • Sad
Reactions: Jimmy Chu1969
Airnest said:
Maybe the host is more their type physically. For them it’s all about the money.You like who you like, (in that case they are head over heels over hosts.) nothing much you can do about that.
Click to expand...
And that’s the sad fact about the mentality of some of these SBs.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Airnest
Jimmy Chu1969 said:
And that’s the sad fact about the mentality of some of these SBs.
Click to expand...
I don't really know how hosts came into the equation... but I mean in general if your going into a sugar relationship expecting anything that lasts a long time, you're most likely setting yourself up for disappointment. Just enjoy it for what it is while it lasts, same as seeing any sex worker.

Definitely sucks to have it ended in a shitty way though, that I can sympathize with.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DragonSlayer and Airnest
qcryp said:
I don't really know how hosts came into the equation... but I mean in general if your going into a sugar relationship expecting anything that lasts a long time, you're most likely setting yourself up for disappointment. Just enjoy it for what it is while it lasts, same as seeing any sex worker.

Definitely sucks to have it ended in a shitty way though, that I can sympathize with.
Click to expand...
My statement was clear about hosts. No way to misunderstand if you ever get involved with an SB that’s addicted to a host or you know something about the shit these girls will do for a host. I even noticed that these same women will go to great lengths to do things to just appease people. But Ken, gets this type of action.

As for my experience, I wasn’t even affected.

Maybe I’m different but I got a main SB that I’ve regularly supported since she was 18. Now she’s 23. Every year I can count on her to renew our arrangement. There’s a couple more that are similar in age. I’ve never once thought they’d do me like that. I have 3 because 1 is available for travel, 1 can speak enough of my language, and the other is just too sexy! Sadly, another one got a little too crazy acting so I had to move her along. Great body for a 20 year old, but way too nutty in public.

IMO the girls now will just ghost even if you treat them right. They will just disappear. So I basically just hang with the 3 I can count on. Beyond that, I just meet ladies, bang them, then have little expectation after that. So if they ghost, 🤷!
 
Relationships between a host and a sugar daddy are based on different things. It's not just money and attention.

A girl has to buy their hosts affection and attention. They invest time and money for the attention. That relationship is totally based on dedication in the hosts favor.

A girl has to pretend to be enamored with their sugar daddies for money. Take away the support and the relationship is gone. Or any complication with their real lives and it's over also. Eventually a girl stops wanting to get money for sex, a better provider comes along, or they just want a regular relationship.

I've had one tell me that eventually she plans to get a husband so she can have kids, but plans to stay with me on the side... so even with long term plans, we are still in fantasy land.

I had a sugar momma once. Younger and hotter than me, but needed so much attention it eventually became uncomfortable and I ghosted her. It got in the way of real life and the rewards were not worth it anymore.
 
Kevt said:
My primary SB has ghosted me a couple times in the past also. Longest was maybe 3 months and eventually re-established contact. Later sounds like she maybe had a boyfriend. It took a few years to build up enough trust to get her personal info, so ghosting not so likely anymore.

I'm rather convinced that my SB loves me also, but the fact that our relationship is transactional dooms it someday. She sugars because she needs money, and I'm a consistent and reliable support. I'm happy with the fantasy and hope it lasts.

Maybe some advice for your next SB (just for the keepers), try to set a consistent support even if you pay for an expensive trip or date. From our perspective, it's annoying to be upselled and milked by a SB. However, providing less than usual is possibly equally annoying from their perspective. Whenever I do give more than usual, I say it's extra or a gift.
Click to expand...
I feel it's about time I step into the light and stop lingering in the shadows on some of these posts. Just to give you some background, I've been a Sugar Baby for quite some time now, and it contributes to around 30-40% of my monthly income, alongside my professional career (and no, I'm not in a stereotypically "girly" field like fashion or beauty).

To start, I want to express my gratitude to the generous men who invest significant amounts each month on their Sugar Babies. However, there's something that some Sugar Daddies might not quite understand. While we appreciate the financial support and attention you shower us with, it doesn't necessarily mean we're falling in love with you. It becomes a bit overwhelming when some Sugar Daddies start proclaiming they'd leave their families for us. I've heard the line "I'll leave my family for you..." more times than I can count. What we, as Sugar Babies, truly cherish is your ability to enhance our lives with attention and financial means. The life we envision doesn't always involve you, but we're grateful for your presence in the background, making it all possible. However, it seems some men misinterpret our gratitude and attention, mistakenly believing it to be genuine love.

I'm pretty sure I've crossed paths with a few folks from this board, so I won't get into the nitty-gritty details. However, I'm thinking about sharing more about our perspective. Just to give you a bit more context, I'm of mixed Japanese heritage, born in Japan but spent 60% of my life growing up in America. I've also had short stints in the UK, France, and Australia. While I might not be a perfect reflection of what you'd find in Japanese society, my experiences are close enough for scientific purposes.

😘
 
  • Like
Reactions: just4fun, yyyter, Joe2017 and 10 others
And there you have it, you won’t find love in sugaring, mongering. It’s just a business transaction. It should be a given for SDs that’s all there is to it, the sooner all SDs realize this, the better. If you’re looking for love, gotta start looking for it in the right places.
 
  • Like
Reactions: just4fun, DragonSlayer and Maxblack
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: SpecialK, DragonSlayer, Maxblack and 5 others
Lyse said:
To start, I want to express my gratitude to the generous men who invest significant amounts each month on their Sugar Babies. However, there's something that some Sugar Daddies might not quite understand. While we appreciate the financial support and attention you shower us with, it doesn't necessarily mean we're falling in love with you.
Click to expand...

Well said - must avoid delusion -- while it's great when the gal pretends to love you (and sure they might in some ways) you gotta keep it real too.
Lyse you got the right approach to it all - thankful and real..cheers
 
  • Like
Reactions: Alice
Jimmy Chu1969 said:
After that, I just come to expect that from them.
Click to expand...
Same with men tbh.
Have had a great regular ghost me for our last appointment sometimes.
Thankfully haven’t been ghosted for trips, that does sound awful.

Not everyone is like that but sometimes people who you wouldn’t have expected it of are…
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jimmy Chu1969 and Maxblack
Lyse said:
While we appreciate the financial support and attention you shower us with, it doesn't necessarily mean we're falling in love with you. It becomes a bit overwhelming when some Sugar Daddies start proclaiming they'd leave their families for us. I've heard the line "I'll leave my family for you..." more times than I can count. What we, as Sugar Babies, truly cherish is your ability to enhance our lives with attention and financial means. The life we envision doesn't always involve you, but we're grateful for your presence in the background, making it all possible
Click to expand...
Ironically, this is men getting carried away talk.
It used to stress me out so much in my early 20s.
Now I take it with a huge grain of salt.
Big talk but it would likely fall through in the end even if you take them up for it. It’s still a bit stressful though. How far do you play along and how firm are you in not setting the wrong expectations?
 
  • Like
Reactions: SquidCity
Alice said:
Ironically, this is men getting carried away talk.
It used to stress me out so much in my early 20s.
Now I take it with a huge grain of salt.
Big talk but it would likely fall through in the end even if you take them up for it. It’s still a bit stressful though. How far do you play along and how firm are you in not setting the wrong expectations?
Click to expand...
It doesn't particularly trouble me unless they regress to the extent of pleading. As someone else mentioned, it's a transactional relationship, and I make this explicitly clear at the outset of each arrangement.

While they might express "I love you," I never reciprocate those sentiments. I consistently respond with something along the lines of "it's truly appreciated that you care about me, thank you." I believe in maintaining a clear understanding of the nature of the relationship. I'm certain that some individuals in this SB sphere lure men into deeper emotional involvement. However, I'm not interested in engaging in a battle of feelings; there are no winners on either side of that match. Moreover, I wonder about the true motive behind this approach. Could it be a strategy to extract more assets from the Sugar Daddy? Maybe...

I want to make it clear that, for me, sex is an intimate connection. You can have fulfilling physical experiences without necessarily entangling them with deep emotions outside of the act.
In some instances, playing up to the male ego is necessary, but it's disheartening when they put in so much effort without understanding the right approach. (They don't know what they are doing...)

Only mentioning the sex part because it's truly a large part of most arrangements.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ken4fb, DragonSlayer, SquidCity and 2 others
Joe2017 said:
IMHO, love can be found anywhere, it's just that in some places it's harder to separate the noise from the signal. Expectations must be modulated accordingly.
Click to expand...

Yeah. In all my years of sugar relationships, I’ve had a few young women fall in love with me. More than vice versa for sure. And yes I think it was genuine, if sometimes misplaced - the real gold diggers get dropped. I don’t go into a SR looking for love, just fun, affection, intimacy, and caring. The couple of times it’s ended up as mutual love have been magic, but I’m not delusional about a long future together. There’s IMO several sorts of love too, and until you’ve experienced them you may not believe haha
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: SpecialK, Joe2017, Jimmy Chu1969 and 1 other person
You must log in or register to reply here.