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Lowest mess lube

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cloa513ch

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My marriage has been pretty much sexless/ low physical for the last five years but last night my wife got me to do cunnilingus for her. Maybe she is warming. She had a problematic vagina so sex was painful before giving birth but maybe the traumatic virginal birth fixed it a bit. She is anti-mess person so having low mess virginal lube (one that doesn't mess up the sheets) is the best one for her. Which is best for that?
 
@cloa513ch , I would recommend "Astroglide" Supposed to be able to get it at Donki... it's not sticky, water soluble so doesn't leave any mess... maybe a wet spot on sheet, but washes right out. It also does not break down during use like KY or some other LUBES.. Good luck and let us know how it works for you
 
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BB0523 said:
@cloa513ch , I would recommend "Astroglide" Supposed to be able to get it at Donki... it's not sticky, water soluble so doesn't leave any mess... maybe a wet spot on sheet, but washes right out. It also does not break down during use like KY or some other LUBES.. Good luck and let us know how it works for you
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and if the sex doesn't work out ... you can use the lube yourself ... uh on yourself ... on your tool ... i've tested it already in the past
 
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cloa513ch said:
My marriage has been pretty much sexless/ low physical for the last five years but last night my wife got me to do cunnilingus for her. Maybe she is warming. She had a problematic vagina so sex was painful before giving birth but maybe the traumatic virginal birth fixed it a bit. She is anti-mess person so having low mess virginal lube (one that doesn't mess up the sheets) is the best one for her. Which is best for that?
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For some reason, your post makes me very sad. Preview of life, maybe? Nah...my other half is way too much of a pervert.

But it does raise the obvious: Maybe if you went down on your wife more often, she wouldn't have a lube problem and you'd be humping more regularly? The way you phrased it, "got me to," leads me to believe you're not a big fan of eating pussy. Neither was I, when I was SIXTEEN. Granted, my whore of a girlfriend then wasn't the most hygienic and stunk up my Toyota, but by the time I was earning a 40-hour paycheck I realized that guys who don't eat pussy generally get no pussy at all.

In any event, I've never used the aforementioned Astro-Glide but my gay cousin never leaves home without it. If it works in an asshole, it should work wonders where you're hoping to go.
 
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Keihan Chikan said:
For some reason, your post makes me very sad. Preview of life, maybe? Nah...my other half is way too much of a pervert.

But it does raise the obvious: Maybe if you went down on your wife more often, she wouldn't have a lube problem and you'd be humping more regularly? The way you phrased it, "got me to," leads me to believe you're not a big fan of eating pussy. Neither was I, when I was SIXTEEN. Granted, my whore of a girlfriend then wasn't the most hygienic and stunk up my Toyota, but by the time I was earning a 40-hour paycheck I realized that guys who don't eat pussy generally get no pussy at all.

In any event, I've never used the aforementioned Astro-Glide but my gay cousin never leaves home without it. If it works in an asshole, it should work wonders where you're hoping to go.
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I have no problem doing anything sexual or physical intimacy with her. I am happy to eat pussy. Previously she rejected nearly physical contact- kissing and hugging is out and still out. Rarely was hand holding acceptable. The get me to part was that the sexual foreplay was pretty boring for me-tell about your boring work problems (often she gets angry so I don't want to tell her most of the time), she gave a massage (it was OK- I am usually hard to massage by hand), we looked into each others eyes while she was wearing boring clothes (a dress or even skirt would be better) and did a little dry humping. I am happy it turned her on and I would do it again. She needs her legs spread by my arms for cunnilingus.
 
Her problem inside wasn't lack of lubrication but rather a L shaped vaginal canal that made paps painful. Doctors are totally hopeless at noticing medical anatomy problems- it was like her 10th pap smear before she as referred to specialist gynecologist.
 
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I'm not really channeling my inner Dr. Phil today so I'm not even going to take a stab at that laundry list of problems. Definitely makes me sad...but perhaps feeling a little fortunate. I'm hoping I don't encounter any intimacy issues with my other half in the future, but I really don't see that happening, particularly since we're not exactly young. All I've got to do is feed her three or four cocktails and when I look up again she's already naked and pouncing on me and trying to pull my underwear off with her feet.

It's kind of like high school again, except we're in a nice Cal King bed instead of the backseat of my Toyota, but also quite contrary, as these days she's the only one who's guaranteed to have an orgasm. Me? I just have to manage to stay hard long enough to get her off and put her to sleep, and then I can sneak off for my online date with Miran, some leftover SOD lube and a nice Polish vodka to sip on.
 
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Keihan Chikan said:
I'm not really channeling my inner Dr. Phil today so I'm not even going to take a stab at that laundry list of problems. Definitely makes me sad...but perhaps feeling a little fortunate. I'm hoping I don't encounter any intimacy issues with my other half in the future, but I really don't see that happening, particularly since we're not exactly young. All I've got to do is feed her three or four cocktails and when I look up again she's already naked and pouncing on me and trying to pull my underwear off with her feet.

It's kind of like high school again, except we're in a nice Cal King bed instead of the backseat of my Toyota, but also quite contrary, as these days she's the only one who's guaranteed to have an orgasm. Me? I just have to manage to stay hard long enough to get her off and put her to sleep, and then I can sneak off for my online date with Miran, some leftover SOD lube and a nice Polish vodka to sip on.
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Do you charge her for the service? :D
 
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Keihan Chikan said:
I would, but I've also been told she's far too pretty to be with me so I guess that's just how things even out.
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Don’t short-change yourself mate! Looks like you are sexually exploited here, with all due respect for your other half. Time for us men to stop being treated like pleasure dolls and take a stand! One O for her = she owes you $500. One O for you = you owe her the same. Settle the difference at month end.
(i know, should have been a couple counsellor, would have been great at that..)
 
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Frenchy said:
Don’t short-change yourself mate! Looks like you are sexually exploited here, with all due respect for your other half. Time for us men to stop being treated like pleasure dolls and take a stand! One O for her = she owes you $500. One O for you = you owe her the same. Settle the difference at month end.
(i know, should have been a couple counsellor, would have been great at that..)
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I'd prefer a system like one O for her = one pass for me to do something really stupid and she can't complain. So for example, she has three Os and I can forget to pick her up from work, get shitfaced with my friends and come home really late, then later piss the bed. And she can't bitch about it.

I think I'll run it past her.
 
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Keihan Chikan said:
I'd prefer a system like one O for her = one pass for me to do something really stupid and she can't complain. So for example, she has three Os and I can forget to pick her up from work, get shitfaced with my friends and come home really late, then later piss the bed. And she can't bitch about it.

I think I'll run it past her.
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Yeah sounds like a totally reasonable plan, I vouch for you!
 
To come back to the topic of this thread , I would recommend any water-based, uncolored, unscented lube. No spot left after a few hours but its also as exciting as a discussion with an aging Swiss banker on pension plans , so personally I prefer the messy ones :)
 
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Most importantly, for your wife’s health you should go for something that doesn’t disrupt the natural balance of the vagina. Some people are misguided to think coconut oil or other oils are okay, however they’re not.. they can result in yeast infections. (I assume you don’t use condoms with wife, but FYI oils can damage the latex of condoms)

I use Okamoto 0.02 lubricant when I need it: it consists of water, glycerin and pH adjuster. It’s not messy for my standards and it even tastes good.
 
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Simonka said:
Some people are misguided to think coconut oil or other oils are okay, however they’re not.. they can result in yeast infections.
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On the other hand it cures cancer so I would say it's a win for the organic coconut oil.
 
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Simonka said:
Most importantly, for your wife’s health you should go for something that doesn’t disrupt the natural balance of the vagina. Some people are misguided to think coconut oil or other oils are okay, however they’re not.. they can result in yeast infections. (I assume you don’t use condoms with wife, but FYI oils can damage the latex of condoms)

I use Okamoto 0.02 lubricant when I need it: it consists of water, glycerin and pH adjuster. It’s not messy for my standards and it even tastes good.
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I will be using a condom- she is not on the pill.
 
Let us know how this works out for you mate. We are all waiting with bated breath and clenched sphincters.
 
cloa513ch said:
Her problem inside wasn't lack of lubrication but rather a L shaped vaginal canal that made paps painful. Doctors are totally hopeless at noticing medical anatomy problems- it was like her 10th pap smear before she as referred to specialist gynecologist.
Click to expand...

You may want to google search "dyspareunia" and..."ohnut" perhaps.
 
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