More straight-forward Japanese girls

[honra123]

OK, there's a high chance in terms of regular dating we've met Japanese girls who tend to be somewhat shy, slow, etc.

What about the opposite? Have you had straight-forward girls? Unexpectedly aggressive/ready to approach ones?

These days I got chatted online by a young woman and she's been quite proactive. Literally after a few hours of chatting she suggested we go out for a dinner in the next few days - a place she liked.

I've had my fair deal of dating here, but that's the first time I've experienced this. Honestly, I'm kind of sceptic to some extent - maybe it's a gaijin hunter or something.

Then again, she's lived abroad for around an year or two. And she does have a sense of humor and some brains.

In any case, it's a bit refreshing to see this. Hope she's not weird or something.

 

[meiji]

Proactive Japanese women are out there, especially if they've spent time overseas. She might be a gaijin hunter. She might also just want some free practice with her English and/or a free meal.

 

[TAG_Member]

They are extra straightforward and agreesive around Christmas and Valentines Day.

 

[SugoiBoy]

They are extra straightforward and agreesive around Christmas and Valentines Day.

Gaijin hunting season perhaps?

 

[honra123]

Damn, I totally forgot about what season it is! When the hell did half of February pass...

From personal experience, I've seen that women above 30 behave way more aggressively, but that can be expected given some social factors.

Regarding the free English practice, the girl doesn't have any interest in English whatsoever...which is a good sign. About the dinner, guess I'll find out soon enough.

I do hope the circumstances will have me meeting with more proactive women here. The inherent passiveness I've encountered in the past year or so is simply awful, wouldn't want accepting it as the 'way things are' if possible.

 

[JapanJazzyJoint]

The aggressive women are usually those in their mid-late 30's who are worried their chance at snatching a man and having a family are nearly gone.
Just make sure you're either ready to get married or break her heart after you're done with her ):

 

[Des Esseintes]

Once I went on a date with a very outgoing, very cheerful Japanese girl in her mid-twenties that I had met online. After the dinner we took the same train to go to our respective homes and just like that out of nowhere she french-kissed me a couple of minutes before we arrived at my station. Japan being Japan no one gave us any attention but still it was kinda embarrassing considering the train was fairly busy. After getting home I messaged her for a second date to which she agreed but didn't show up and never replied to my messages ever again.

I have met a few more straight-forward Japanese girls but all of them were at the very least somewhat unstable if not completely insane. Bad luck on my part?

 

[TAG_Member]

On the contrary, I would say those who are in the late 20's to early 30's to be concerned with marriage. Once they are in the mid range, they are less sensetive to these things.

 

[honra123]

Wow, @Des Esseintes , that WAS quite the straight-forward girl. Honestly, I'd not feel embarrassed, but I get where you come from. In my own experience, a lot of girls are slightly more unstable than back home in Europe. Probably has to do with all the societal pressure and bottled up feelings.

@TAG_Member , I have to agree with you in line with my own experiences.

I still have a hunch it's about getting a dinner, but won't keep it purely sceptical. The girl in question is 23, so way below our current speculations here.

 

[owlet]

jeez what's with the negativity "gaijin hunter" "free dinner" "valentines"... Give love a chance you jaded buggers

 

[JapanJazzyJoint]

@owlet Are you also a fan of Ender's Game?

 

[honra123]

Oops, forgot to update on the situation.

The girl got ill (ahem) 2-3 days before the meeting so we postponed it. Needless to say, haven't contacted each other since.

However, I met up with a buddy and we drank awesome craft beer so the evening was saved. I do however feel I've betrayed owlet...

My search for a straightforward-it's-ok-to-be-a-little-crazy local woman continues, then!

 

[Des Esseintes]

To look on the bright side, at least she made the effort of cancelling, gave you a few days to plan something else and spared you the humiliation of having to wait alone at your table wondering how long is long enough before you leave.

 

[Gunmachan]

To look on the bright side, at least she made the effort of cancelling, gave you a few days to plan something else and spared you the humiliation of having to wait alone at your table wondering how long is long enough before you leave.

Ouch, this comment feels like you've been through that numerous times..

 

[Des Esseintes]

Ouch, this comment feels like you've been through that numerous times..

Haha, more than I care to admit... I've been on so many dates since coming to Japan that statistically it's bound to happen.

Nowadays I only meet people with the express purpose of doing something I would normally do anyway (exhibition, concert...) and NEVER, EVER go on dinner dates the first time.

The initial reasoning was that in the worse case scenario (she's boring) we don't have to talk too much and in the second worse case scenario (she doesn't show up), I can still do something interesting that doesn't require someone else. But I found out that it also sets a filter and that I end up meeting people who actually have interests outside of eating, sleeping and shopping.

The one problem is when you have to book tickets in advance, I still haven't found the solution. I have to meet a girl this Saturday for a movie and I would hate having to book two tickets if she doesn't show up.

 

[vondoom]

that was obvious anyway...

i wonder why people are so upset about japanese people wanting to practise their english, while foreigners practise their japanese in any given situation, though...



in the end communication is important, language doesnt matter at all...

 

[Gunmachan]

Haha, more than I care to admit... I've been on so many dates since coming to Japan that statistically it's bound to happen.

Nowadays I only meet people with the express purpose of doing something I would normally do anyway (exhibition, concert...) and NEVER, EVER go on dinner dates the first time.

The initial reasoning was that in the worse case scenario (she's boring) we don't have to talk too much and in the second worse case scenario (she doesn't show up), I can still do something interesting that doesn't require someone else. But I found out that it also sets a filter and that I end up meeting people who actually have interests outside of eating, sleeping and shopping.

The one problem is when you have to book tickets in advance, I still haven't found the solution. I have to meet a girl this Saturday for a movie and I would hate having to book two tickets if she doesn't show up.

But would you like a long term relationship or do you just enjoy dating too much?

 

[Des Esseintes]

But would you like a long term relationship or do you just enjoy dating too much?

Theoretically a long-term relationship could make for a more satisfying life but in practice I prefer being alone to being trapped in a long-term relationship with the kind of girls who are interested in me here.

As for dating, the concept was completely new to me when I came to Japan so I went through several phases in terms of my enjoyment/ frustration with it. Nowadays, I tend to consider dates with Japanese girls as a good opportunity to practise my Japanese as I know they're not really interested in me and dates with English-speaking foreigners as socialising, and I made a couple of good friends that way.

 

[majimekun]

In Japan, if you've found a "Proactive Japanese woman" you've most probably found a borderline psycho

 

[majimekun]

.... she french-kissed me a couple of minutes before we arrived at my station. ....Bad luck on my part?

Looks like you forgot to have one of your hand inside her panty while kissing.

 

[Des Esseintes]

Looks like you forgot to have one of your hand inside her panty while kissing.

Damnit... No matter how many times I rehearse the impromptu French kiss in a crowded train, I always forget the hand-inside-her-panty step.

 

[Des Esseintes]

In Japan, if you've found a "Proactive Japanese woman" you've most probably found a borderline psycho

The passivity of the average Japanese woman borders on fanaticism. She's elevated her absolute lack of opinion into an art form. It's irrelevant that you've only been in Tokyo for a few weeks and that you speak zero Japanese, you WILL organise the whole day down to every detail. 何でもいい are among the first words of Japanese I've learned.

 

[majimekun]

何でもいい are among the first words of Japanese I've learned.

なんでもいい literally means : "I want to be fucked"

Only the veterans know that though

 

[Des Esseintes]

なんでもいい literally means : "I want to be fucked"

Only the veterans know that though

Dammit again. If that's really the case, I must have left behind quite a trail of lustful, oversexed and yet unfucked J-girls, their hormone-fueled lasciviousness barely concealed behind a veneer of sluggish affability.