My "beginner" mistakes

[tad3239]

I was watching OMGYES and they were talking about advise to make your sexual experience better , and instantaneously , the mistakes I made surfaced to my mind and I thought why not sharing them here as they may prove useful to others , and it may provide a window for others to share their 2 cents as well.

These are the things that came into my mind :

1- Putting so much pressure on myself : When I began using p4p , I burdened myself with the expectation to deliver my partner a magical time . After this , I put the pressure on myself to orgasm twice at least . and this is all wrong ... Maybe the right approach is to focus on enjoying your time without worrying about the number of times you or her cum.

2- Caring way too much about my partner : once or twice I actually cared about the pleasure of my partner more than mine to the extent I forgot am the client not the other way around . Sometimes It felt like there's something I shall win : I must make her orgasm . the more I tried , the further this goal went . Now I think if I cared a bit more about myself , and a bit less about my partner .. it would have been better for both of us eventually. .

3- Letting reviews get into my mind : You have to take reviews with a pinch of salt . Some escorts have extremely good reviews so that you would expect them to take you to paradise. Unfortunately , that would prevent them from doing so . Plus they are human , they may have a bad day , maybe you have bad chemistry ... etc

4- Expecting the escort to help me : It doesn't happen . You have to lead , you have to know what you are doing . They are not going to teach you . The sweeping majority of escorts are normal people who want to extract the maximum benefit with the lowest possible effort. If your boss told you he can give you your salary for far less work , you will take it without blinking . I'd add here that they maybe afraid of telling you constructive feedback cause that might prevent you from repeating with them . People don't take shortcomings about their sexual performance well.

5- Not turning off my phone on meeting an escort : it led to me having her as a friend recommendation on FB. as advised on TAG by a knowledgeable member : it is better if you don't even use your real name on SNS . it bit me once before when I talked to an escort on Whatsapp and found her to call me by my name.

6- Not respecting some of the members here : TAG has helped me so much mongering in Japan . On my own I am sure I would have been in far worse place getting scammed by touts , bait and switch and unreliable providers . I believe I should have been more patient and more respectable towards some people here especially Chris with whom I had some unpleasant altercations . I reached him recently for help and I found him really helpful as if nothing happens. When you get in a heated situation , maybe it's better to take a step back and leave your keyboard untouched for a while . Things will work themselves out 9 times out of 10.

 

[Frenchy]

I was watching OMGYES and they were talking about advise to make your sexual experience better , and instantaneously , the mistakes I made surfaced to my mind and I thought why not sharing them here as they may prove useful to others , and it may provide a window for others to share their 2 cents as well.

These are the things that came into my mind :

1- Putting so much pressure on myself : When I began using p4p , I burdened myself with the expectation to deliver my partner a magical time . After this , I put the pressure on myself to orgasm twice at least . and this is all wrong ... Maybe the right approach is to focus on enjoying your time without worrying about the number of times you or her cum.

2- Caring way too much about my partner : once or twice I actually cared about the pleasure of my partner more than mine to the extent I forgot am the client not the other way around . Sometimes It felt like there's something I shall win : I must make her orgasm . the more I tried , the further this goal went . Now I think if I cared a bit more about myself , and a bit less about my partner .. it would have been better for both of us eventually. .

3- Letting reviews get into my mind : You have to take reviews with a pinch of salt . Some escorts have extremely good reviews so that you would expect them to take you to %%%%%%%%. Unfortunately , that would prevent them from doing so . Plus they are human , they may have a bad day , maybe you have bad chemistry ... etc

4- Expecting the escort to help me : It doesn't happen . You have to lead , you have to know what you are doing . They are not going to teach you . The sweeping majority of escorts are normal people who want to extract the maximum benefit with the lowest possible effort. If your boss told you he can give you your salary for far less work , you will take it without blinking . I'd add here that they maybe afraid of telling you constructive feedback cause that might prevent you from repeating with them . People don't take shortcomings about their sexual performance well.

5- Not turning off my phone on meeting an escort : it led to me having her as a friend recommendation on FB. as advised on TAG by a knowledgeable member : it is better if you don't even use your real name on SNS . it bit me once before when I talked to an escort on Whatsapp and found her to call me by my name.

6- Not respecting some of the members here : TAG has helped me so much mongering in Japan . On my own I am sure I would have been in far worse place getting scammed by touts , bait and switch and unreliable providers . I believe I should have been more patient and more respectable towards some people here especially Chris with whom I had some unpleasant altercations . I reached him recently for help and I found him really helpful as if nothing happens. When you get in a heated situation , maybe it's better to take a step back and leave your keyboard untouched for a while . Things will work themselves out 9 times out of 10.

Great list! Thanks. To various degrees, did the same mistakes too. I would add a few:

- thinking that giving more would necessarily lead to getting more. doesn’t always work that way

- over-estimating how interesting I may be as a person. I’m primarily interesting as an ATM. Some kind ladies may find me mildly entertaining too but thats about it

- thinking that younger/hotter ladies are necessarily better. Very often its the opposite

- overall, giving it too much importance, energy, money, time etc. P4P might be a nice way to escape or endure other issues for a while but it won’t make them magically disappear . Still have to face my shit

- not being clear enough about what I want and don’t want. Assuming ladies from different countries , generations, upbringings would have the same understanding of what is proper behavior and what isn't

- mixing it up with real feelings (never again!)

- feeling stupidly obliged to say “yes” when really I can and should say “no”. They aren’t my family, friends or bosses. And there’s no need nor merit to go beyond what was agreed.

- in short , in this great P4P world , its nice to have fun, but better to keep it light and trust no one

 

[Frenchy]

By the way, regarding the « expectation to deliver my partner a magic time »...
thats what we should expect from THEM, not the other way round
Some ladies are very good at making you feel its your duty to not only give them money , gifts, trips and so on but also orgasms on top of that, and not being too demanding re. your own pleasure. That’s exactly the ones we should put back in their place. Or better, avoid altogether

 

[tad3239]

By the way, regarding the « expectation to deliver my partner a magic time »...
thats what we should expect from THEM, not the other way round
Some ladies are very good at making you feel its your duty to not only give them money , gifts, trips and so on but also orgasms on top of that, and not being too demanding re. your own pleasure. That’s exactly the ones we should put back in their place. Or better, avoid altogether

If a provider has an ill intention , she can play a newbie like a violin.
But generally @Frenchy , all Women require that from a man , be it a GF , a wife , an escort . And guess what , If the woman gives me a good experience and tries her best to please and shows a modicum of compassion in return , I'm ready to part with that .

 

[Frenchy]

If a provider has an ill intention , she can play a newbie like a violin.
But generally @Frenchy , all Women require that from a man , be it a GF , a wife , an escort . And guess what , If the woman gives me a good experience and tries her best to please and shows a modicum of compassion in return , I'm ready to part with that .

Yes, agreed, and I like to give an O when I can as much as anyone (Mikey would say I should even get paid for that ) but that should not be your priority when you are the client/SD.

And your « if » is a big if indeed. After a lot of trials and errors I narrowed down to 3 ladies only those who have this compassionate attitude with me. ie givers, not just takers. I have good hope on my next pot SB to increase that count to 4 though .

Good luck in getting past the « beginner » level. Looks like you already walked a long way on that path already

 

[jhingy567]

My mistakes:
- underestimating how careful I have to be with those sensitive lady bits. Been a bit too rough on more than one occasion.
- Similar to number 4. I expected escorts to always be able to take the lead. Not the case. I know I'm paying money, but still its uncomfortable making someone do something they don't seem to actually wanna do.
- there were times where I didnt feel
100% for whatever reason (not because of illness but bad mood, sleep deprived etc), but I never cancelled the appointment. I really should have though.
- I probably did p4p more times than is healthy for my current stage in life (in my 20s with a regular job). Should have just done it a few times for the fun experience, modest confidence boost and left it at that. And saved the cash for more edifying pursuits.

 

[tad3239]

My mistakes:
- underestimating how careful I have to be with those sensitive lady bits. Been a bit too rough on more than one occasion.
- Similar to number 4. I expected escorts to always be able to take the lead. Not the case. I know I'm paying money, but still its uncomfortable making someone do something they don't seem to actually wanna do.
- there were times where I didnt feel
100% for whatever reason (not because of illness but bad mood, sleep deprived etc), but I never cancelled the appointment. I really should have though.
- I probably did p4p more times than is healthy for my current stage in life (in my 20s with a regular job). Should have just done it a few times for the fun experience, modest confidence boost and left it at that. And saved the cash for more edifying pursuits.

It's in the female nature to let the male take the initiative . Plus escorts usually meet more than one client per day , so it's better to save the energy . I think if a client drained the escort energy completely , some of them won't opt to see him on a regular basis .

On the last point , P4P has its lure : the ability to meet different profiles of girls , have sex with them with no strings attached is invaluable. I think our brain is wired to crave sex , it's addictive by nature especially when you are in mid-20s.

 

[Lukes]

Hmmm... P4P mistakes... Mine are all over the place. Here's a few.

- Spending money I didnt have on P4P I didn't need when I was already broke as shit instead of rubbing one out at home like a normal person.

- Tipping too generously or just overpaying for services in general because I was shy about negotiating/bargaining (aka I was a bitch).

- Fucking trailer trash bitches in shitty motels that smell like marijuana smoke and urine.

 

[Acid Burn]

My biggest beginner mistake was fixating on the shop pics of the provider and picking based on that. Now I base on blog pics if available or just take a chance and go for a free. Much much less disappointment that way.

Putting so much pressure on myself : When I began using p4p , I burdened myself with the expectation to deliver my partner a magical time .

I was the opposite, not initiating much anything unless told to do something. Since I started p4p with HE MP’s, I'd grown accustomed to letting the provider do everything otherwise get your hand blocked or slapped away for roaming. This recent trip I’ve loosened up and been more proactive with going with the flow and initiating a little more.

Letting reviews get into my mind : You have to take reviews with a pinch of salt.

True with everything that has reviews. I’ve been burned trusting reviews of various other types of services that I’m glad I learned that lesson outside of p4p.

Not turning off my phone on meeting an escort

Once I had my phone on because we were exchanging Line contact info and a call was ringing through throwing the pic of the caller on the screen. Glad it was the end of the session as the last thing I need is to see a pic of my buddy’s face mid session.

- thinking that younger/hotter ladies are necessarily better. Very often its the opposite

I used to think this too. A tight young body has its pleasures but now I find myself preferring the older sister types. That sounds a little weird in English. Anyway, the 姉さん types. Sometimes it seems a reception guy is warning me about a provider’s age “でも少し姉さん。。。” and then gets all surprised when I immediately give him the thumbs up and tell him ok. There’s just more to be able to talk about in the down time with these age appropriate ones. And that extra piece of connect with them IME adds that little extra bit of satisfaction to the session experience to me.

 

[Rusty Trombone]

Biggest beginner mistake is falling for a SW or SB, and thinking the feeling is mutual.
99.9999% of the time it is not. They may like you, even have affection for you, but if the cash is not there, neither are they.

Also on my personal list:

1. Not researching love hotels - There are some shit ones around
2. Not hydrating enough
3. Telling yourself that " She only does extra services with me"

 

[tad3239]

Biggest beginner mistake is falling for a SW or SB, and thinking the feeling is mutual.
99.9999% of the time it is not. They may like you, even have affection for you, but if the cash is not there, neither are they.

Also on my personal list:

1. Not researching love hotels - There are some shit ones around
2. Not hydrating enough
3. Telling yourself that " She only does extra services with me"

The surprise I found is that the more detached you get from the provider , the better sex becomes . The best session I got from my regular was when I coupled her with another and she felt I may replace her.

Some wise man once said : “don’t get into something/someone you are not ready to lose “ . Once you have this mindset , every thing becomes better . People treat you badly when they take you for granted.

 

[Majestyk]

Some wise man once said : “don’t get into something/someone you are not ready to lose “ .

In the 1995 heist film HEAT, master criminal Neil McCauley shared a nugget of wisdom that somewhat echoes the same sentiment.

 

[tad3239]

In the film 1995 heist film HEAT, master criminal Neil McCauley shared a nugget of wisdom that somewhat echoes the same sentiment.

Great minds think alike , don’t they ?

 

[Majestyk]

Great minds think alike , don’t they ?

That’s a guideline worth remembering.

 

[Lukes]

Not hydrating enough

This is a great one. I used to make that mistake all the time. I'd show up to sessions tired, dehydrated and not perform well. If you want to keep energized and be able to pop multiple times (or even just one good one) you gotta keep hydrated.

Which leads me to another rookie mistake:

Drinking lots of alcohol before a session because of being nervous.

 

[SugoiBoy]

Don't go for any massage (naughty or not) on a full stomach.

 

[Sudsy]

From my very first foray into the waters, if a girl needs to stop off and pick up her “medicine” in a sleazy hotel, you might as well call it a night, because once she gets her fix, even if she wants to deliver as promised, she’s going to be moving like a sloth. Not to mention the whole thing about banging intravenous drug users.

 

[Sterling]

I think my biggest beginner mistake (if I can even remember back that far) was thinking I was getting great service, when later I realized it was average.

Overall though, the best thing about mistakes in P4P is they matter very little in the end. I have more regrets about "real" relationships I've messed up, and even those... meh.

 

[tad3239]

I think my biggest beginner mistake (if I can even remember back that far) was thinking I was getting great service, when later I realized it was average.

Overall though, the best thing about mistakes in P4P is they matter very little in the end. I have more regrets about "real" relationships I've messed up, and even those... meh.

Was just thinking about that recently . Great service is not something given but something induced . It's very difficult for a beginner to get a great experience as he didn't know what to expect and doesn't have a standard to compare with .

 

[Sterling]

4- Expecting the escort to help me : It doesn't happen . You have to lead , you have to know what you are doing . They are not going to teach you . The sweeping majority of escorts are normal people who want to extract the maximum benefit with the lowest possible effort.

I would disagree with this one. I've learned plenty from escorts, often downright filthy stuff I would never have asked for myself, or didn't know I liked till I tried them. In fact, I've had some great teachers

 

[tad3239]

I would disagree with this one. I've learned plenty from escorts, often downright filthy stuff I would never have asked for myself, or didn't know I liked till I tried them. In fact, I've had some great teachers

You've been lucky , or I've been truly unlucky.

 

[SugoiBoy]

Another rookie mistake I made back in the day was not having a proper alias for the hobby.

 

[Frenchy]

Another rookie mistake I made back in the day was not having a proper alias for the hobby.

Im sure SugoiBoy works perfectly with Japanese ladies!
Mine is EroMan

 

[MikeH]

Mine is EroMan

So you just go with your real name? Brave.