My Potential Eikaiwa Boss Hit On Me During Interview?

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TokyoJoeblow

TokyoJoeblow

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So I went to an eikaiwa just now and the Japanese woman who owns the school told me she owns a bar and that we should drink there sometime. She is a total milf and I told her I'm down for that. Has anything like this ever happened to anyone else here in Japan? Her school is small and she might have trouble paying all her teachers in cash. Maybe I could propose payment in beer and sexual favors instead of cash? Would a proposal like this be too risky? I would think it is a win-win for both of us. More money for her and beer and sex for me haha. I figured it would be an interesting topic to share on here.
 
Let her do the first move. You don't want to misinterpret her behavior. But, on the other hand, it is likely that she means what you think she means
 
TokyoJoeblow said:
Maybe I could propose payment in beer and sexual favors instead of cash?
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What will you live on if not getting cash? :p

Devil's Advocate - This has happened and didn't end well in at least two cases I can immediately recall. Just make sure you protect yourself and make sure you don't get backed into a corner.

On the other hand, have fun with it if you can!
 
Well, this is just a part time job on the side. I'm already working and providing for my living costs. Maybe since she offered the drinking at her bar, I will just drink with her and see if she makes the first move again.

If she changes her mind totally about drinking with me at the bar, I can propose being paid in beer drinking with her instead of saying beer and sex...seems too forward? haha
 
TokyoJoeblow said:
Well, this is just a part time job on the side. I'm already working and providing for my living costs.
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Key information there, lol. Gotcha.

She doesn't give off that desperate vibe, does she? Or if she does, watch out for that crazy streak that Japanese women have. :ROFLMAO:
 
Could you possibly post the thread links about the dudes who did this and got into trouble?

If not its ok, but the piece of mind as to what commonly happens in Japan with relationships like this would be perfect.
 
If you need her cooperation to secure your work visa, then no.

Otherwise, hell yes!
 
You also counted out the fact she might want you to spend your money at the bar & bring friends & they spend their money too.
I'm smelling a smart business women saying just enough for you to think she wants you. She may have never said it was free.
 
There is no harm in going for some drinks, you will soon find out what she wants.
 
This sounds very familiar. Would you be so kind as tell me a whereabouts in tokyo and maybe I can confim
 
TokyoJoeblow said:
Could you possibly post the thread links about the dudes who did this and got into trouble?
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Referring to my posts?

These were RL cases, not online. I'm not going to get into specifics, but these were people with rather high paying jobs in my professional field that got cut down due to involvement with some women in places they shouldn't have been.
 
This lady lives in Shimizu not Tokyo. She mentioned that she owns the bar and that we would go there alone together. Like just me and her. She could be trying to squeeze money out of me, but who knows. I guess I will find out later haha. I will just drink with her and wait for her to make a move. Also, one of the signs outside her school reads: English Salon. Kind of similar to Pink Salon don't you think?
 
TAG Manager said:
Referring to my posts?

These were RL cases, not online. I'm not going to get into specifics, but these were people with rather high paying jobs in my professional field that got cut down due to involvement with some women in places they shouldn't have been.
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We actually just terminated two people this spring for exactly that sort of behaviour, hooking up with clients. In one of the cases, I completely understand and the lady in question was most assuredly worth the career damage - and notably they're still seeing each other. In the other... he just threw it her way to get her to sign the contracts, and she raised a stink when he stopped sleeping with her after the contract was in hand.

Keep your eyes open for the crazy, but I don't think your situation sounds too high risk, JoeBlow.
 
Well I just got an email from her last night asking if I could start teaching at her school on a certain date and told me she wants to watch my class. She also said that if I have time after the class, if I would like to go to her bar with her. So this is the second time she had brought this up. Do you think she is looking for sex or could there be some crazy catch that I should watch out for? I will just go with her and wait for her to make the first move.
 
Sudsy said:
We actually just terminated two people this spring for exactly that sort of behaviour, hooking up with clients. In one of the cases, I completely understand and the lady in question was most assuredly worth the career damage - and notably they're still seeing each other. In the other... he just threw it her way to get her to sign the contracts, and she raised a stink when he stopped sleeping with her after the contract was in hand.

Keep your eyes open for the crazy, but I don't think your situation sounds too high risk, JoeBlow.
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I will definitely keep my eyes open for any hint of crazy I can sniff out. In my situation, this woman isn't a client. She is my potential boss, which doesn't really make my situation less risky...maybe even more-so as she is a woman with some power haha.
If something seems too good to be true, maybe it isn't right? I mean she has offered to pay me for teaching, free alcohol at her bar and possible free sex too? Something sounds off about this or am I paranoid about a really good thing?
 
TokyoJoeblow said:
Well I just got an email from her last night asking if I could start teaching at her school on a certain date and told me she wants to watch my class. She also said that if I have time after the class, if I would like to go to her bar with her. So this is the second time she had brought this up. Do you think she is looking for sex or could there be some crazy catch that I should watch out for? I will just go with her and wait for her to make the first move.
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It's of course not untypical to go out with your boss for drinks. It could be a pretext though....

Have you told her or has she asked about your single/attached/married status? (I assume single and if she knows that, then it's open season, lol)

You could go along and do the social thing, have drinks with her and play it by ear. But, she sounds insistent on getting you to the bar.
 
TokyoJoeblow said:
Something sounds off about this or am I paranoid about a really good thing?
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I'd keep the BS/paranoid detector at about half throttle... we could be very well over-thinking this, but caution is better than none at all.
 
I will definitely exercise caution. She hasn't asked whether or not I'm single, but maybe she doesn't care or plans to ask that at the bar.

I called her back just now, but to mainly talk business with her. I did ask if she owned the bar and she said that her and her brother own it. She mentioned that the bar opens at like 8pm everyday, so it isn't like the bar will be just me and her lol. She did mention that the bar is really small and it only holds small crowds.

She could just be looking for a relationship or a drinking friend, rather than a quick lay right? I have also heard it is common in Japan for your boss (male or female) to invite you out for drinks.
 
TokyoJoeblow said:
She could just be looking for a relationship or a drinking friend, rather than a quick lay right? I have also heard it is common in Japan for your boss (male or female) to invite you out for drinks.
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It is quite common to have a welcome party for new joiners. It could be a group or just one on one, just depends on the size and type of company.

I'm not much of a drinker, so I rarely attend these kind of events. I'll do the customary in-office stuff, but that's about as far as it goes. In the case of a direct report, I'll give them a little extra attention and buy them lunch on one of their first days in the office.

I will say this: Those company drinking parties, it's a great opportunity to see how people really act when not in the office. Some people turn out not to be assholes and others become assholes... go figure.
 
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TAG Manager said:
It is quite common to have a welcome party for new joiners. It could be a group or just one on one, just depends on the size and type of company.

I'm not much of a drinker, so I rarely attend these kind of events. I'll do the customary in-office stuff, but that's about as far as it goes. In the case of a direct report, I'll give them a little extra attention and buy them lunch on one of their first days in the office.

I will say this: Those company drinking parties, it's a great opportunity to see how people really act when not in the office. Some people turn out not to be assholes and others become assholes... go figure.
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When I was teaching in China for close to 4 years, I would attend these drinking parties and I experienced this exactly. Some people who were usually quiet were outspoken and at times rude even, while the kind of stand-offish ones were mellowed out.
 
Just remember that she knows all your personal details and maybe your main job (?). At this point it might be damned if you do and/or damned if you don't by refusing her. I would be careful that she does not end up having any leverage over you (to work more, to see her when she wants, to accompany her places etc.). Good luck!
 
R.O.B said:
Just remember that she knows all your personal details and maybe your main job (?). At this point it might be damned if you do and/or damned if you don't by refusing her. I would be careful that she does not end up having any leverage over you (to work more, to see her when she wants, to accompany her places etc.). Good luck!
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I'm actually supposed to show up at her school this next Tuesday. I'm afraid of her leverage...even if she might want to hook up with me. We never signed a contract though and I could spin a sick grandmother story to wiggle my way out while I still can?
 
TokyoJoeblow said:
I'm actually supposed to show up at her school this next Tuesday. I'm afraid of her leverage...even if she might want to hook up with me. We never signed a contract though and I could spin a sick grandmother story to wiggle my way out while I still can?
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If you've not signed a contract of employment, then you're really not obligated to do anything.

But still, you've not really found out her true intentions... it could be all just a mistake. Either on her part for sending mixed signals or maybe even yours, even if unintentional.

I'm actually curious to how this turns out for you.
 
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